Even Gojira Himself Admits This Movie Was Not One Of His Best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            On New Year's Day, we watched "Godzilla Vs. Biollante," which my beloved had taped from the Christmas Day Godzilla Marathon.  I had always wanted to see this 1989 film, because, maybe due to my fascination with "The Day Of The Triffids," I was fascinated with the idea of a giant plant monster.

                                                I was disappointed.  I had fair warning, because as I settled in to watch, Gojira, who sat just outside our bedroom window, watching with us, cringed in embarrassment.  And then he told us why he was not particularly proud of this film.

                                                  It seemed Gojira owed Toho another picture.  He was also having major dental work done--and major dental work for GOJIRA is ten times the work, and price, it is for us, darlings!!!!!!--so he need the money.  What star has not been in this situation?  When he was sent the script, he was outraged, because, originally, this was to be another film with he and Mothra!  Gojira refused to work with Mothra, their animosity is the Japanese monster equivalent of Bette and Joan here!!!!!!!!-- so the creators quickly came up with something called Biollante.

                                                 Gojira was hoping this film might do for him what "Friday The 13th" did for Betsy Palmer, who did that film, for similar reasons, and, now, it has become what she will forever be remembered for.  Gojira must have been suffering from low self esteem, due to tooth discomfort, because he has been a major star ever since first appearing on the scene int he 1954 film that not only introduced him, but was established , instantly, as an artistic masterpiece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    But, Biollante!  Oh, my God, girls, do you what kn ow what it is????????
First, it is female!  Specifically, she is a giant, mutating, evil rose bush, that walks in water!  She makes these ridiculous squeaking noises, that makes me think the two girls from "Mothra" were recruited to dub the voice of Biollante.

                                                      And the film is all over the place!  The scientist hero's daughter dies, in the early minutes of the film, Gojira fights Biollante, whom he seems to defeat, then the populace wants to get rid of Gojira!   And spends time, trying!  How nasty!  But then, Biollante returns, and, finally defeated, ascends to Heaven, in a Fatima like sequence, with the scientist seeing the face  of his dead daughter, just before his is shot by an infiltrating enemy agent, as he is united with her!

                                                        I mean, what is going on here??????????  No wonder poor Gojira was embarassed.  And those hypocritical Japanese here; only want Gojira around when he can do something for them!  Indeed!  Don't they realize Gojira is the biggest Environmental Protector they have?????????  Not to mention their biggest cultural export!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         The scriptwriter for this mess was, obviously, young, and some frustrated Advanced Placement Biology Student, who had issues with the Japanese people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         I just looked sheepishly at Gojira, afterward, who patted me, and comforted me, reminding me what I am about to tell you, darlings!!!!!!!!!--

                                                          "It's only a movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"