Remember How Simple Life Used To Be???????????????????

                                   How well I remember that ad, with the mysterious words, "Modess, because....." each week in the TV Guide, which I had no idea what it meant. Even when seeing these words in front of the trees, hiding the Personal Products Company on Route 1, in New Jersey, I used to ask my parents, "Because what???????????"  But no one would answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Then "To Sir, With Love," came along where a Modess, or something like it, was burned.  It was clearer, but I still did not understand.  Then came the urban legend, in the form of Pauline Kael's review of Barbra Streisand's 1969 film,  "Hello, Dolly,"  According to Pauline, during the title number, when the music piped up, and Barbra began descending the staircase in that gold lame gown, someone in the audience screamed out, "Modess, because..........!"

                                      Of course by then, I knew what it meant, and so this sent me into paroxysms of laughter.  I can't look at this sequence in the film, without laughing.

                                        Alas, girls, where have we come?  Back in the era of gracious living, pictured above, such ads, were elegant and tasteful,  Today, there are prepubescent girls, far too young, handing their own mothers tampons, from their purse!!!!!!!!   I mean, really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like the Kander and Ebb song from "Chicago," "Class," says, "Jesus Christ! Ain't there no decency left???????????"

                                         How I wish we would return to that era of civility, elegance and gracious living. Meanwhile, all you Theater Queens, get out your Barbra/'Dolly' DVDs tonight, and at the same time all over town, when the title segment airs, like Peter Finch in "Network," open your windows, and scream out, at the top of your lungs--

                                         "Modess, because....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                           Cracks me up, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!