I Am Telling You, Girls, It All Started With That Barry And Claudette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          So much fun was had last night, darlings, at last night's screening of the one, the only, the original, 1980 "Friday The 13th," at Chelsea Classics, with Hedda Lettuce.  I am telling you, as soon as Barry and Claudette appeared on screen, you could hear the audience hissing, especially at Claudette, the slut!!!!!!  She just wanted to get Barry into that shed so she could prove she kissed better than Mary Ann!!!!!!!!!!
Now, Mary Ann is never shown, but we don't see her shagging around with that Barry, getting herself killed, do we?  That is because Mary Ann, though she kisses, is a good girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But having sex doesn't make Barry and Claudette eligible victims.  Their murders, which happened at Camp Crystal Lake back in 1958, (just think, if alive now, they would be in their early Seventies!!!!!!!) were the result of their negligence the year before.  They were supposed to be watching Pamela Voorhees' (the cook) son, physically and mentally challenged, Jason.  But their loins flared, and, in the heat of things, Jason sneaked  off, went into the lake, and drowned.  Of course, Pamela was grief stricken, and I am sure all felt for her.  But the Christys, who ran the camp, made one serious mistake--they invited Barry and Claudette back, the following year!!!!!!!  I wouldn't have!  Not only was this a slap in the face to Pamela, as their presence further triggered her grief, it  dissed her son Jason, which fueled her rage, leading Pamela to take the actions she did.   I hope that just before Claudette succumbed, Pamela slapped her across the face, like she later does with Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              When Claudette is finally backed up against that wall, arms splayed, and screaming, as the logo of "Friday The 13th" comes onscreen with the sound and image of shattering glass, the crowd went wild!  You could hear the cheers all the way up to Washington Heights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Before going any further, I am  surprised this film has not been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church, or, if it is still around, the Catholic Legion Of Decency!!!!!!!!!  Because this film is the greatest argument for young people not to have sex that I am surprised the Church has not used it in parochial school classes!!!!!!!!!  Mrs. Voorhees is one step short of an avenging nun; seen in the present, she almost foreshadows Jessica Lange as Sister Jude in "American Horror Story!"

                                 Though I have seen this film at least half a dozen times, I had forgotten the tracking shot of the killer going through the cabins of the small children being cared for, at camp, looking at them.  In retrospect, this was clearly done to show Mrs. Voorhees would never harm them.  They were prepubescent, non-sexual, and reminded her of her son, Jason.  They were the ones she was trying to save, in her world view!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Showing this is sheer genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 So much of this film is iconic.  Annie's walk through Blairstown; the woman sitting at the store fountain with that weird striped dress and glasses, making one wonder if she is Mrs. Voorhees, or what, because she looks more to be from some Fifties sci-fi movie!!!!!!!!!!! (I would love to know the name of the woman who played this role; she says "Camp Blood!  They're opening that place again?"  If any of you girls out there know the answer, please alert me!!!!!!)  Don't forget that shot of the Moravian Cemetery in Hope, New Jersey!!!!!!!  Darlings, I have stood in all these places, and, let me tell you, things look the same now, as they did, 30 plus years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Then, there is Jeannine Taylor, as Marcie Cunningham.  Straight guys are hot for her; gay men want to be her.  Not to mention Kevin Bacon, sporting a healthy boner through his blue Speedos!!!!!!!!!!!!  And Marcie's Katherine Hepburn speech, in pink T-shirt and white panties!!!!!!!!!!
And Brenda getting killed, off screen, in the rain.  And Sally Anne Golden, as Sandy, the waitress in the Blairstown  Diner, where I have eaten, darlings, who just wants a night on the town with Steve!!!!!!!!!  Not  to mention Walt Gorney's  brilliant performance as Crazy Ralph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      "Friday The 13th" has actually improved over time.  Its structural brilliance--a reverse of "Psycho," with the son dead, but the mother alive, was ingenious.  But Time, unfortunately, has taken from us, five of the film's cast members--

                                          Willie Adams--Barry--supposedly killed in a car accident, several years after  making the film!!!!!!!!!

                                            Laurie Bartram--Brenda--So beautiful--who died in 2007, of pancreatic cancer at only 49, leaving a husband and five children!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Rex Everhart--Actually an all-around Broadway actor, whom I have seen in several things over the years.  He played Enos , the truck driver who drives Annie, and gets away with patting her ass, helping her into the truck!!!!!!!!!  He died in 2,000, at the age of 79, of lung cancer!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Sally Anne Golden--Sandy, The Waitress--who died, at 72, back in 1982.  She was the oldest actor to appear in the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wonder if she ever got that night on the town, with Steve??????????????

                                                 Walt Gorney--Whose brilliant turn as Crazy Ralph came close to stealing the picture from Betsy Palmer!!!!!!!!!!!  He died, at 91, after a long illness--hell, he was 91!!!!!!!!!--at St. Vincent's Hospital, in New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Rest In Peace, all!  You are loved forever!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Now, on to cheerier things.  When a certain green jeep pulls up to Alice's cabin, and Betsy Palmer steps out into the open, in that white, fisherman's sweater, well, the screaming and clapping rivaled the first time Donna McKechnie did "The Music And The Mirror," in "A Chorus Line," down at the Public, back in 1975!!!!!!!!!!!!  For the next 13 minutes, (her total amount of screen time) there is no doubt, in anyone's mind, about whom this film belongs to!!!!!!!!!!!  You better believe the audience was doing all the sounds---"Ki-Ki-Ki-Ki-Ki!  Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma!" and "Kill her, Mommy!  Kill her!," but my favorite Betsy moment is when Mrs. Voorhees, still trying to calm Alice, throws back her head, smiling that toothy grin, and laughingly says, "I'M not afraid!"

                                                     Who knew Betsy Palmer had such iconic teeth?  Who knew rural Jersey had such good dental coverage????????  Much of her performance is played through her mouth and her teeth; an ingenious move, on the filmmakers' part!  I don't think I have ever seen a film where an actor plays their role through their teeth!  But Betsy is brilliant, teeth and all!  And I just love it, when she slaps Alice, silly!

                                                      Of course, the audience screams, when she loses her head!  You almost have to!  The look on Mrs. Voorhees' face, as she realizes what is about to happen, is priceless, showing Betsy's greatness, as an actress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Yes, darlings, New Jersey has three things to be proud of!  It gave birth to Meryl Streep, and "Friday The 13th!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                          Not to mention The Raving Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           "Kill her, Mommy! Kill her!"