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Monday, September 13, 2021

What A Phony, Pretentious Prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Before we get started, girls, I just want to fill you in.  I did sing "Frank Mills" live, last night, not in front of the Waverly, but in my living room, at sundown.  I also, yesterday, finished the new Sally Rooney, "Beautiful World, Where Are You?," and all I will say now is it is high time Sally made up her mind if she is a novelist or a playwright.  And then stick with it.  I have also started the new Lauren Groff, entitled "Matrix," and let me tell you, not since "Black Narcissus" has there been such a nun's story!  And I am only one third of the way through.



                                    Now, to the topic at hand.  For all those decrying Ben Platt's look and manner in the film "Dear Evan Hansen,"-- which I plan to see, because of Platt's gorgeous vocals--take a good look at this guy.  He calls himself Cash Jordan.  That is about as phony a  moniker as "Chance Wayne," except that name was spun from the prosaic cloth of Tennessee Williams, so it had some dramatic cred.  But, THIS guy?



                                       You think Platt's overaged?  Take a good look at this guy.  He claims to be 24, but looks more like 40, and he is dressing more  Evan Hansen than Platt ever did, even when he played the role onstage.  Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                           He fancies himself one of NYC's top realtors, operating out of some one horse dive in the East Village,  on St, Mark's place.  Face it, Cash, you are NOT Ann Cutler Lenane.   She has been around longer than you, and she is the top.



                                             Honey, you most likely aren't even A top!  You parade around with a cute Asian woman purporting to be your wife, and a child named Lily, claiming to be your daughter, but both are probably some nanny and her charge  you abducted off the street for media exploitation purposes.  Because your underage way of dressing, and your manner of "Oh-look-at-me-I-am- so-straight-and-SO-cool!" is not fooling anyone, doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                 As for the videos, short though they be, I could not get through even one.  Taken into consideration as some sort of experimental cinema, it barely passes muster.



                                                    Who the hell would name a child Cash?  Maybe Johnny, but that was once in a  lifetime.  This cash lacks credibility, exudes phoniness, and, girls, couldn't even sell me a candy bar.  Even if I wasn't diabetic.



                                                      Stay in Astoria, where you belong, Cash.  I always had a low opinion of the borough of Queens, and you exemplify all the reasons why.



                                                         Get off your ego trip, and do something REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

Victoria said...

I wasn’t aware of Cash Jordan.
He sounds annoyingly hyper.
I’m certainly aware of Ben Platt.
I know he was in Book of Mormon.
Reviewers have not been kind to him about his performance in this movie, or the movie itself. You’re right, they cannot get past a late twenties guy playing teenage.

Videolaman said...

Cash Jordan?

He looks more like Peter Bogdanovich.

During the Dorothy Stratten investigation, when he was terrified he might be a suspect.

The Raving Queen said...

Victoria,

Something must be wrong with the movie.
I mean Judy Garland was overaged for "The
Wizard Of Oz," but she made you believe it.
The problem, from what I keep reading, is not
just Platt, who CAN sing, but the material
itself!

The Raving Queen said...


My Dear,
I never thought of it, but once
you mentioned it, I could see a
resemblance to Bogdanovich.

Was he involved in the whole
Dorothy Stratten thing? It
has been decades since I saw
"Star 80!!!!!!!!!!!"