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Friday, July 7, 2023

So, Girls, How Was "The Car???????????????????"


                            When this film was theatrically released in 1977, I had graduated from college, was trying to make something of myself and outside of "Annie Hall," "Star Wars," and "The Turning Point," which could not be avoided, that was all I had on my mind.  So, this heap of trash went by me unnoticed.



                              Until last Saturday night, when "Svengoolie" aired it.  He said people had been asking for it.  Why???????????



                                 Poor Elliot Silverstein.  By directing this "Duel" rip-off, I guess he thought he was going to be the new Steven Spielberg!!!!!!!!!  See where it got him?  Nowhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                  Because he did not have a skilled cameraman, or knew how to create tension and suspense, nor did he have a dedicated actor like Dennis Weaver.  Instead, all he got was a cast of TV and movie has-beens who were just doing this for a paycheck.



                                   Darlings, it wasn't even campy!  Maybe had it been it would at least have been entertaining.  But, honestly, how could this piece of trash be taken seriously???????????????



                                   Not only do I not regret missing it, in 1977, I hope I never see it, again.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                    "The Car" is crap, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                      It deservedly should be consigned to the scrap heap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                 



3 comments:

Mistress Maddie said...

Oh sweet cheeks!!!! I got 30 minutes in and just couldn't go on. It was awful...and Im a huge Sci-fy, horror cult classic fan, and even I couldn't watch it. Now, the other night here on one of our local stations I caught a cult classic called, The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini. Not bad... but still full of cheese and it featured Boris Karloff. Maybe Svengoolie will feature this for a summertime treat?

The Raving Queen said...

Mistress Maddie,
You made the right decision. I would love to see "The Ghost In The Invisible Bikini." Just for Boris Karloff, alone.
Stay well and cool this weekend with a couple of Sea Breezes!

Videolaman said...

Dreadfully disappointing: the epitome of "not so bad its good, just plain bad".

Does prove my theory, however, that "Svengoolie" in general is utterly unwatchable in real time unless you're a true masochist. Between the crappy movie itself, the constant commercial interruptions, and inane fan service padding segments, I cannot fathom how you and David can endure just sitting there for two and half hours every Saturday night.

I record it, then fast forward thru it on Sunday nights when nothing else is on. I zip thru it in a first pass stopping only to see the nifty behind-the-scenes tidbits Svengoolie preents about the film and actors. Then on a second pass I watch only the movie, skipping over every commercial and every fan video submission. Much more fun that way. and if the movie is really atrocious I can plow thru it in minimum time.

The titular "Car" in this movie was visually interesting, and the scene where it menaces the schoolkids in the cemetery gave the car the personality and animation it should have had throughout the film. I skipped some of the middle part where clearly nothing was happening other than James Brolin sulking, but the ending death trap payoff was entertaining considering the crummy buildup.

Ordinarily I would not have bothered with "The Car", but then I read that the actual car smothered underneath the Chuck Barris disguise was a 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III (one of the most beautiful American automobiles ever), so I had to see it. Also found out it has an early appearance by the actress Melody Thomas, who went on to become the matriarch of soap opera "The Young And The Restless" for the past 45 years (via the classic "Flaming Road" route of stripper-marries-powerful-villain-who-takes-over-city). Melody is the first victim of the Car, the blond teen on a bike mowed down in the opening minutes of the film.