Darlings, that line has been my mantra ever since I heard it when I first saw "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane," the movie that damn well depicted the childhoood I SHOULD have had. And this Thursday, loves, we get to hear this line again when Hedda Lettuce hosts an evening screening at the Chelsea. Girls, we just cannnot wait; who knows, maybe we will meet a life partner there. I mean, a bunch of gay guys at 'Baby Jane?' Chances are substantially higher than at a church picnic!!!!!!!!!
And obviously my bitch chronicling yesterday shows I do not forget family issues that I refuse to bury. And someday their consquences will be made known. Meanwhile, I am just going to curl up with some wine, Wilkie Collins, and make a fabulous chicken stew, because it has been a long time, girls, since we have been in that kitchen! So we will be sure to let you know how it turns out.
What I want to know is--where are Donna and Baayork in relation to the forthcoming "Promises,Promises" revival! I mean, this Rob nobody, who is he? No Michael Bennett, I can tell you; he is going to need Donna and Baayork to step in and show him how to do 'Turkey Lurkey' RIGHT!!!! What does he thing he is going to do--out his so-called "choreographic slant" on the show??? Bullshit, you bitch, when you revive a Michael Bennett show you do HIS choreography and no one else's. If I go to this, and see what dance step out of place I will have his ass in a SLING, and I do not mean for pleasure, girls!!!!
Nursing a cold people, which I very likely got from the nursing home, which I am staying away from till it is bettter. Have just spoken to Donna about our upcoming twentieth anniversary meeting--no, darlings, not Donna McKechnie, another Donna!!!!!
So that is about it, loves, have a warm wonderful Winter weekend, and believe you me you will get a full report this coming Friday about the 'Baby Jane' screening!
"Blaaaaaaaaaanche!!!!!!!!!", loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Welcome To My BitchFest, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darlings, let me tell you about this wonderful blog I have discovered that certainly echoes cherished sentiments of mine. It is called "Fuck Corporate America," and is a criticism from within, that is, written by someone who is mired in such, and knows whereof he speaks. My hats go off to him and this blog.
You may wonder why I share such sentiments, as I dont't, technically speaking, work in corporate America. Alas, there is a tale to tell..............
The year was 1978. I had graduated college the spring of '77. and was looking to make my entryway somewhere--suit, briefcase, the whole bit, circa that time. I was perfectly happy to settle down in some office job, as an administrative assistant, work my way up, and live the suburban life I was clearly raised for. Alas, that was not to be. And the consequences were devastating.
During this period, my father informed me, that spring, that an interview had been set up for me by an uncle at Personal Products, a divsion of Johnson and Johnson , where he worked. What should have been routine turned out to be more memorable than I could imagine.
I got all duded up, with my briefcase, and was shown into the office, by a pleasant looking woman, a personnel representative, whose name I still remember--Lauren Schor. When she looked at my resume, and saw my home address, we began a friendly discussion of the Learners--a family who lived on my street then, had three children, all of whom I knew well. Ms. Schor had gone to school--college, I imagine--with Mrs. Learner. This talk helped relax me.
All of a sudden, she got very aburupt, and said, "If you don't mind, I am going to be blunt with you. If you don't do something about yourself, you are never going to get anywhere." For what seemed an interminable length of time, she began to belittle everything about me--how I looked, dressed, talked, walked; at one point stating, "When I first saw you out in the lobby, I thought you were a weak, ineffectual kind of guy." I bristeled at that, and lunged in my seat, like I wanted to attack her, which I probably did, then she quickly countered, "Of course, now I can see you are not!" but nevertheless she kept insisiting that was her first impression of me.
At no time were the standard interview questions asked--why do you want to work for this company? Where do you see yourself in five years, etc? I had certainly heard these enough times that I knew to expect them. But when we finished, and I walked out of there, I felt I had been less to a job interview and more to a termination of employment.
I was only 23 at the time, and came out of there like a dog who had just been whipped. When I told my parents, they were clearly upset. At the time, I was enrolled in a job training program; what today would be called career counseling. The rule was if we went on an interview, we had to come back and talk about it. When I told of my experience, the two women who ran the program, looked at each other, went to their offices, and slammed the doors. Apparently, phone calls were being made. I turned out to be right; at a very quiet dinner table that evening, the phone range twice; my mother answered both times, and handed me the line, as they were for me.
The first call came from a man whose name I wish I could remember, but whose titled identity I never forgot--the President of Johnson and Johnson. He profusely appologized to me for my expereince that day, and I listened politely, too young and shaken up to be taken in by the monumentality of what was actually happening. This was followed several minutes later by a tearful Lauren Schor, who clearly had been reprimanded, but who clearly also did not understand the gravity of what she had done. When I countered that I showed up expecting to have an interview, like any other prospective employee, she countered, "Oh, no! I was just doing a favor to your uncle!" An uncle, by the way, who was trash, had a history of spousal abuse, and treated his children so horribly they left home at the first available opportunity. Though some of them took on some of his traits, saying I was too lazy and such because I was having difficulty finding a job, and still living at home with my parents. They were just resentful because I came from and am still from a much higher and educated social class than they!
Shortly after all this, I noticed, my uncle and father had a falling out. They would not speak to each other, and if we were visiting my grandmother, he would not remain in the house in our prsence. Good riddance!!!! I had an idea all along that I was the cause of this falling out, but all I got from my father when I asked, was a tight lipped remark about my uncle--"He's a very ignorant man!!!!!!!!!"
Of couse at the time I had no idea what had taken place. Only after a good 10-15 years had passed, and I was established and on my own--did I realize that the appologies and such stemmed from fear of a lawsuit I could have placed at the time. For, although the terminology was NOT mentioned, what Schor was calling me on was my homosexuality. It was made clear to me--gays were not accepted in coroporate America. So I subsequently said, "Fuck you!" to it, and walked away, longing all the time for acceptance which would have meant more money and such that I deserved, where now I have to compromise so much, because gays are still not truly excepted in corporate America. Which to a degree is why I am a bit heterophobic and misogynistic. And continue to be. Let's face it--if I went for a job at, say, and ad agency or a publishing house, I would NOT be accepted.
I suppose I should resent even the gentleman who posts FCA, as he is probably straight, too. But how can you resent, girls, someone who fundamentally agrees with you. Neverhteless, the consequences of this past expereince of mine still reach out and claw at me. At least my uncle has gone to his reward, which I imagine is a hot, burning one. And I know I am superior to all these people around me, darlings!!!!!
Now, wasn't this a fun bitch session, girls? And so instructive, too!!!!
You may wonder why I share such sentiments, as I dont't, technically speaking, work in corporate America. Alas, there is a tale to tell..............
The year was 1978. I had graduated college the spring of '77. and was looking to make my entryway somewhere--suit, briefcase, the whole bit, circa that time. I was perfectly happy to settle down in some office job, as an administrative assistant, work my way up, and live the suburban life I was clearly raised for. Alas, that was not to be. And the consequences were devastating.
During this period, my father informed me, that spring, that an interview had been set up for me by an uncle at Personal Products, a divsion of Johnson and Johnson , where he worked. What should have been routine turned out to be more memorable than I could imagine.
I got all duded up, with my briefcase, and was shown into the office, by a pleasant looking woman, a personnel representative, whose name I still remember--Lauren Schor. When she looked at my resume, and saw my home address, we began a friendly discussion of the Learners--a family who lived on my street then, had three children, all of whom I knew well. Ms. Schor had gone to school--college, I imagine--with Mrs. Learner. This talk helped relax me.
All of a sudden, she got very aburupt, and said, "If you don't mind, I am going to be blunt with you. If you don't do something about yourself, you are never going to get anywhere." For what seemed an interminable length of time, she began to belittle everything about me--how I looked, dressed, talked, walked; at one point stating, "When I first saw you out in the lobby, I thought you were a weak, ineffectual kind of guy." I bristeled at that, and lunged in my seat, like I wanted to attack her, which I probably did, then she quickly countered, "Of course, now I can see you are not!" but nevertheless she kept insisiting that was her first impression of me.
At no time were the standard interview questions asked--why do you want to work for this company? Where do you see yourself in five years, etc? I had certainly heard these enough times that I knew to expect them. But when we finished, and I walked out of there, I felt I had been less to a job interview and more to a termination of employment.
I was only 23 at the time, and came out of there like a dog who had just been whipped. When I told my parents, they were clearly upset. At the time, I was enrolled in a job training program; what today would be called career counseling. The rule was if we went on an interview, we had to come back and talk about it. When I told of my experience, the two women who ran the program, looked at each other, went to their offices, and slammed the doors. Apparently, phone calls were being made. I turned out to be right; at a very quiet dinner table that evening, the phone range twice; my mother answered both times, and handed me the line, as they were for me.
The first call came from a man whose name I wish I could remember, but whose titled identity I never forgot--the President of Johnson and Johnson. He profusely appologized to me for my expereince that day, and I listened politely, too young and shaken up to be taken in by the monumentality of what was actually happening. This was followed several minutes later by a tearful Lauren Schor, who clearly had been reprimanded, but who clearly also did not understand the gravity of what she had done. When I countered that I showed up expecting to have an interview, like any other prospective employee, she countered, "Oh, no! I was just doing a favor to your uncle!" An uncle, by the way, who was trash, had a history of spousal abuse, and treated his children so horribly they left home at the first available opportunity. Though some of them took on some of his traits, saying I was too lazy and such because I was having difficulty finding a job, and still living at home with my parents. They were just resentful because I came from and am still from a much higher and educated social class than they!
Shortly after all this, I noticed, my uncle and father had a falling out. They would not speak to each other, and if we were visiting my grandmother, he would not remain in the house in our prsence. Good riddance!!!! I had an idea all along that I was the cause of this falling out, but all I got from my father when I asked, was a tight lipped remark about my uncle--"He's a very ignorant man!!!!!!!!!"
Of couse at the time I had no idea what had taken place. Only after a good 10-15 years had passed, and I was established and on my own--did I realize that the appologies and such stemmed from fear of a lawsuit I could have placed at the time. For, although the terminology was NOT mentioned, what Schor was calling me on was my homosexuality. It was made clear to me--gays were not accepted in coroporate America. So I subsequently said, "Fuck you!" to it, and walked away, longing all the time for acceptance which would have meant more money and such that I deserved, where now I have to compromise so much, because gays are still not truly excepted in corporate America. Which to a degree is why I am a bit heterophobic and misogynistic. And continue to be. Let's face it--if I went for a job at, say, and ad agency or a publishing house, I would NOT be accepted.
I suppose I should resent even the gentleman who posts FCA, as he is probably straight, too. But how can you resent, girls, someone who fundamentally agrees with you. Neverhteless, the consequences of this past expereince of mine still reach out and claw at me. At least my uncle has gone to his reward, which I imagine is a hot, burning one. And I know I am superior to all these people around me, darlings!!!!!
Now, wasn't this a fun bitch session, girls? And so instructive, too!!!!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Girls, You Are Not Going To Believe This!!!!!!!
Darlings, I just took one of those cute little magazine quizzes. This one was from TimeOut New York in relation to Valentine's Day--isn't it interesting how the acronym for that holiday is VD, girls???--and it is entitled "Should You Be Single?" Well, basically I think these things are a crock anyway, so I hunkered down and answered the questions, expecting to hear I should be content with my spinsterhood. At first I was happy, because my results said I should "Grab the first schmuck you find, and get married!" Now, let me tell you, that sounds like my last several attempts at relationships, and we all saw how those went!!!! It has to be a schmuck that I want, and who wants me--I just don't grab folks off the streets, despite what my detractors might say. I mean, with the acme behavior of Miss Porter's????
But wait, there is more. There is a little expanation after the verdict that says, "Because you cannot handle NYC alone."
Excuse me, lambs??? I mean, just what is this blog about??? It is about living the single life in NYC. I have been handling New York, alone, darlings, since I was a child; I mean, I could have played the Jodie Foster role in "Taxi Driver" for heaven's sake!!!!! It just goes to show how these quizzes are a bunch of crock, and while I would like a romantic candlelit dinner with wine and someone on VD day, it looks like I will be stuck cooking for moi and watching--what else?--"Fatal Attraction???" Darlings, when do I get the husband and the house in Great Neck????
Be careful what you wish for, they say??? Well, let me tell you, how do you know what to be careful what you wish for, unless you have the expereince of trying out in terms of getting it????? Huh, girls?????? But let's not be a bitch about it!!!!!
Hope you all had cake and champagne after celebrating Blythe's Day!!! Girls, if we our by ourselves on VDay, let us save some champagne, pour it all over ourselves, and tell us that "We are FABULOUS!"
Assert yourselves, girls!!!!
But wait, there is more. There is a little expanation after the verdict that says, "Because you cannot handle NYC alone."
Excuse me, lambs??? I mean, just what is this blog about??? It is about living the single life in NYC. I have been handling New York, alone, darlings, since I was a child; I mean, I could have played the Jodie Foster role in "Taxi Driver" for heaven's sake!!!!! It just goes to show how these quizzes are a bunch of crock, and while I would like a romantic candlelit dinner with wine and someone on VD day, it looks like I will be stuck cooking for moi and watching--what else?--"Fatal Attraction???" Darlings, when do I get the husband and the house in Great Neck????
Be careful what you wish for, they say??? Well, let me tell you, how do you know what to be careful what you wish for, unless you have the expereince of trying out in terms of getting it????? Huh, girls?????? But let's not be a bitch about it!!!!!
Hope you all had cake and champagne after celebrating Blythe's Day!!! Girls, if we our by ourselves on VDay, let us save some champagne, pour it all over ourselves, and tell us that "We are FABULOUS!"
Assert yourselves, girls!!!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Happy Birthday, Blythe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, darlings, it is Blythe Danner's birthday today, so let's all have some tea, with cakes and dainties to celebrate this acme of class and glamour. Girls, we should all look as good at 67 as Blythe!!!!!!!!!!
I was such a bitch yesterday, darlings, but sometimes you just have to be. I just got horrible word from my friend Doug that come May 5 he will be out of a job. His hotel is closing down, and I just cannot believe it. Now you know darlings why I am hoping this, and thanks to all my faithful readers out there will propel me into a book and movie deal, so I buy a place back in quiet Bay Ridge, live a life of less stress, and write and get paid for it, lambs!!!!! Who knows if this will transpire, but as I have said I am NOT about to give up now. And you better believe I want Amy Adams to play me--she can do anything, even play a gay man. Hell, it would be easier than playing a straight one!!!!!!
So like I said, no hubby on the horizon, no fame, but we just keep pluggin' along, like "Ol' Man River" in the song. Girls, sometimes this queen feels like OL' Man River.
You will never believe this, girls! My father-in FLA, darlings!--gets sent a note to ME pertaining to some high school reunion. Can you believe that. And we are not even due for one till 2013. The idea is to combine four classes--hell, I knew so few in those other classes, who the hell would I know there? And if any of you think I would meet a husband there, you are full of it!! ME, marry someone who grew up in the town I came to despise, because it would not accept me. That is like a masochist asking for a sadist, and that is NOT ME!!!!
I just cannot get the words to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" out of my head this morning--"Bang! Bang! Maxwell's Silver Hammer came down on her head/Bang! Bang! Maxwell's Silver Hammer" made sure she was dead!" You all know who I mean, girls--and not just that evil bitch Charlotte Bayes!!!!!!!
But the mood is celebratory, loves, in honor of Blythe, who is still stunning enough to play Truly Scrumptious in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." So have some cakes and dainties in honor of Blythe, loves!!!!!!!
Love you all, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was such a bitch yesterday, darlings, but sometimes you just have to be. I just got horrible word from my friend Doug that come May 5 he will be out of a job. His hotel is closing down, and I just cannot believe it. Now you know darlings why I am hoping this, and thanks to all my faithful readers out there will propel me into a book and movie deal, so I buy a place back in quiet Bay Ridge, live a life of less stress, and write and get paid for it, lambs!!!!! Who knows if this will transpire, but as I have said I am NOT about to give up now. And you better believe I want Amy Adams to play me--she can do anything, even play a gay man. Hell, it would be easier than playing a straight one!!!!!!
So like I said, no hubby on the horizon, no fame, but we just keep pluggin' along, like "Ol' Man River" in the song. Girls, sometimes this queen feels like OL' Man River.
You will never believe this, girls! My father-in FLA, darlings!--gets sent a note to ME pertaining to some high school reunion. Can you believe that. And we are not even due for one till 2013. The idea is to combine four classes--hell, I knew so few in those other classes, who the hell would I know there? And if any of you think I would meet a husband there, you are full of it!! ME, marry someone who grew up in the town I came to despise, because it would not accept me. That is like a masochist asking for a sadist, and that is NOT ME!!!!
I just cannot get the words to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" out of my head this morning--"Bang! Bang! Maxwell's Silver Hammer came down on her head/Bang! Bang! Maxwell's Silver Hammer" made sure she was dead!" You all know who I mean, girls--and not just that evil bitch Charlotte Bayes!!!!!!!
But the mood is celebratory, loves, in honor of Blythe, who is still stunning enough to play Truly Scrumptious in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." So have some cakes and dainties in honor of Blythe, loves!!!!!!!
Love you all, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Girls, It Is Time To Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.........And bitch! And bitch! And there is a lot to bitch about, let me tell you. First off, that cute little rodent, the Groundhog, saw his damn shadow, which means we get six more weeks of winter. Too bad the Groundhog didn't do what he did in the past, that is up and bite Mayor Bloomberg somewhere where it will do the most good--like ripping his tongue or vocal cords out!!!!!! Now, do any of you girls on here believe this lovely folk legend about the Groundhog and his shadow? I mean, it is charming, but show me someone who believes this, and I will show you a girl who does NOT need a good cream rinse!!!! Like, no way!!!! I have to palaave every day, darlings, I am telling you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the Oscar nominations! First, congratulations to the Divine Miss Meryl Streep, and the Marvelous Mr. Stanley Tucci. We love you, Meryl and Stanley!!!!!
Honey, Stanley's performance was SO chilling that not even I--who love all my serial killers, loves--could sit through "The Lovely Bones" a second time. And speaking of lovely bones, how dare they NOT nominate Miss Amy Adams??? Where is OUR AMY???? She is the freshest, most radiant thing in films, and this is what she gets???? I am sure Meryl would agree with me that Amy should be in the ineup, and that her time is coming. I mean, if it can happen for Sandra Bullock--from "Spped" to this?--it can happen to anyone, and Amy is certainly more gifted than Sandra. And that damn "Avatar" gets nominated for Best Picture; why doesn't James cameron just get his prostate removed and shut up!!!!!! But you know we will be watching and cheering, and you know when I log off here, I have to begin calling designers to line up fittings to see what and whom I am going to wear to this year's Academy Awards. I want to look my best for when Meryl gets her award!!!!!
You know what I can't stand? People who walk down the street, and won't get out of the way? What am I supposed to do? Get out of THEIR way? But, no, they keep barreling along, as if they were going to slam right into you and knock you down. What are they, so entitled? Bitches, don't talk to me about being entitled, because I am! When you see approaching, you get the Hell out of my way but fast, or else I will cut you like a paper shredder. My God, I really am a bitch today!! But we just LOVE it, girls!!!!!!!!
The Groundhog, girls, may be on to something. If I had something big and warm and furry to snuggle down with, I would stay in my hole all winter too, Alas, when one does not have a husband......
Oh, well, today is MERYL and STANLEY;s DAY so let us rejoice in them!!!!!!!
A toast to all, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the Oscar nominations! First, congratulations to the Divine Miss Meryl Streep, and the Marvelous Mr. Stanley Tucci. We love you, Meryl and Stanley!!!!!
Honey, Stanley's performance was SO chilling that not even I--who love all my serial killers, loves--could sit through "The Lovely Bones" a second time. And speaking of lovely bones, how dare they NOT nominate Miss Amy Adams??? Where is OUR AMY???? She is the freshest, most radiant thing in films, and this is what she gets???? I am sure Meryl would agree with me that Amy should be in the ineup, and that her time is coming. I mean, if it can happen for Sandra Bullock--from "Spped" to this?--it can happen to anyone, and Amy is certainly more gifted than Sandra. And that damn "Avatar" gets nominated for Best Picture; why doesn't James cameron just get his prostate removed and shut up!!!!!! But you know we will be watching and cheering, and you know when I log off here, I have to begin calling designers to line up fittings to see what and whom I am going to wear to this year's Academy Awards. I want to look my best for when Meryl gets her award!!!!!
You know what I can't stand? People who walk down the street, and won't get out of the way? What am I supposed to do? Get out of THEIR way? But, no, they keep barreling along, as if they were going to slam right into you and knock you down. What are they, so entitled? Bitches, don't talk to me about being entitled, because I am! When you see approaching, you get the Hell out of my way but fast, or else I will cut you like a paper shredder. My God, I really am a bitch today!! But we just LOVE it, girls!!!!!!!!
The Groundhog, girls, may be on to something. If I had something big and warm and furry to snuggle down with, I would stay in my hole all winter too, Alas, when one does not have a husband......
Oh, well, today is MERYL and STANLEY;s DAY so let us rejoice in them!!!!!!!
A toast to all, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Gonna Take A Sentimental Journey, Gonna Set My Heart At Ease!!!
Darlings, have you ever seen this classic 1946 four handkherchiefer with Maureen O'Hara??? Honestly, girls, some mornings when I am vaccuming I feel just like Maureen, and start singing that song. But would you believe that yesterday I was wailing "Paper Roses," which was done in 1973 by Marie Osmond, and then back in 1960--yes, girls, get ready--Anita Bryant!!!! on her classic debut album "Hear Anita Bryant In Your Home Tonight!" Girls, you may be shocked, but I just loved Anita's wholesome appearance, and those Orange Juice commercials, with Little Orange Bird. Let me tell you, darlings, by the time I found out Anita was an anti-gay bitch whose husband was sneaking around wearing her panties--yes, girls, those panties again!!!!-- we wanted Little Orange Bird to poke Anita's eyes out. Now she's an evangelical lounge singer. And Little Orange Bird is living it up in a Florida condo!!!!!!
So listen to some Anita Bryant, lambs, and see how far we have come, and where vocal music might have ended up if the Beatles had not happened along. And if Anita had not been a big old anti-Gay bitch, she would have been one of the world's greatest Fag Hags!!!!!!!
Fag Hag yourself, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So listen to some Anita Bryant, lambs, and see how far we have come, and where vocal music might have ended up if the Beatles had not happened along. And if Anita had not been a big old anti-Gay bitch, she would have been one of the world's greatest Fag Hags!!!!!!!
Fag Hag yourself, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Candlemass Eve, Girls!!!!! Sacrifice A Virgin Tonight, Darlings!!!!!!
Let me tell you, witches these days are having a tough time of it! Where in the world is one supposed to find a virgin??? Even the convents are no guarantee anymore, if indeed they ever were! But meanwhile it is February and what a month--birthdays, feast days, romance (yeah, right!) and then boom, it is gone!
Now, I ask you, girls, where else but here are you going to hear about things like Candlemass Eve? Or the virtues of freeze dried panties???? And let me tell you, that "Silent Screams" book was such fun--classic serial killer stuff with a twist and a tantilizing question that makes things ripe for a sequel--which you know I will read, darlings!!!!!!!!!!
Can you believe that they are going to do "The Miracle Worker" on Broadway? Honey, they tried this before. With that Abagail Breslin trying to do Helen Keller??? Listen, dolls, I am the one to do Helen; my technical resources are equipped for that part, not to mention I could use the work!!!! Miss Breslin, best known for "Little Miss Sunshine," things she can attempt the most difficult child stage role in theater history???? Give me a break! This is why Patty Duke got to play Neely, which you know I am darlings--Neely 0'Hara, the lovable kid from vaudeville, who became a star and a monster! That's me, lambs, a star and a monster!
This monster has to work the graveyard shift tonight, so I have to adjust my make-up, and make sure I am ready for the public. So have a wonderful Candlemass Eve tongiht, everyone, and if you cannot find a virgin to sacrifice, at least cook some dinner with some Extra Virgin Olive Oil!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have made it through another one, loves!!!!!!!!!
Now, I ask you, girls, where else but here are you going to hear about things like Candlemass Eve? Or the virtues of freeze dried panties???? And let me tell you, that "Silent Screams" book was such fun--classic serial killer stuff with a twist and a tantilizing question that makes things ripe for a sequel--which you know I will read, darlings!!!!!!!!!!
Can you believe that they are going to do "The Miracle Worker" on Broadway? Honey, they tried this before. With that Abagail Breslin trying to do Helen Keller??? Listen, dolls, I am the one to do Helen; my technical resources are equipped for that part, not to mention I could use the work!!!! Miss Breslin, best known for "Little Miss Sunshine," things she can attempt the most difficult child stage role in theater history???? Give me a break! This is why Patty Duke got to play Neely, which you know I am darlings--Neely 0'Hara, the lovable kid from vaudeville, who became a star and a monster! That's me, lambs, a star and a monster!
This monster has to work the graveyard shift tonight, so I have to adjust my make-up, and make sure I am ready for the public. So have a wonderful Candlemass Eve tongiht, everyone, and if you cannot find a virgin to sacrifice, at least cook some dinner with some Extra Virgin Olive Oil!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have made it through another one, loves!!!!!!!!!
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