Darlings, The Social Whirl Does Not Let Up!!!!!!

Well, girls, today is the Epiphany, meaning it is the Twelfth Day Of Christmas, and the Official End Of The Holiday Season!!!! It was a great one, wasn't it, loves?????

As relates to the actual Christmas story, it is recognized as the day the Wise Men finally reached the end of their journey to deliver their gifts to the Infant Jesus!!!!! Now, I am sure He appreciated the gold, myrrh and frankincense, but, really now, wouldn't He (not to mention Mary, his mother) been much happier, with a gift certificate to Lord And Taylor????? You can bet I would!!!!!!

Funny thing about the Holiday Season. As I get older, it not only comes upon one sooner, it has been dragged out over a longer period of time, than when I was a child. Back then, it began the day one started peeling doors off your Advent Calendar--December 1. Meaning it lasted, with January 6 the end, for about 35 days. Now, it seems to commence right upon Thanksgiving, adding on an extra week for a grand total of six weeks!!!!! And this does not even take into consideration that the Rockettes And Company start performing the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, around the start of November, giving them an almost two month Holiday Season!!!!!!

The point of all this is, it used to be, from here on, things wound down, and the Long Winter set in, leading to depression for some, which did not lift till Spring, when the days started getting longer, and (hopefully!!!) your tax forms by then were sent in to the IRS!!!!!!

But, when one is the Raving Queen,it is an altogether different story. I have been out three nights this week--Wednesday, with Alvin at Mez Mezcal, this altogether charming restaruant on the Upper East Side--316 East 86th Street, to be exact!!!!! Now, I don't do Mexican much, because my taste buds LOVE it, but my digestive tract does not, but I want to tell you, things are so wonderfully prepared and served (big on flavor, but they do not overpower you with spices!!!!) so that even MY digestive tract can handle it. Their Black Bean Soup was heavenly, and so was Monsieur's tomato concoction. Our enchiladas were not too big, and bursting with flavor that left us satisfied but not gorged. And they did the most charming thing, at the end, to commemorate Monsieur's birthday (which must have been arranged by Alvin, because even I did not know about this!!!!!!)--the staff came out, sang "Happy Birthday," gave Monsieur a white, plastic hat to wear, and a birthday "cake," consisting of a whipped cream circle with colored sprinkles and a candle, encircled by tortilla chips, covered with honey, whipped cream and powdered sugar. It was so sweet, girls, but let me warn you, a little is best, because the flavor is rather cloying!!!!!

Last night, of course, I was at the Center Library, doing my volunteer stint!!!
Let us all pray this is the year we find a Man for Mike; he is so sweet and deserving of one!!!!!!

And this evening, to celebrate Harvey's aforementioned birthday, we are taking him out for dinner at the Village equivalent of Chasen's, where all the girls go, the Good Stuff Diner!!!! Which, for a diner, is pretty amazing, and nothing to be ashamed of, darlings!!!! And this from someone who came from the Diner State, New Jersey!!!!!!

Then, there is my friend, Virgina, who celebrates the same birth date as Elvis on Sunday!!!!! So we will be whooping it up, with her, as well!!!! I am telling you, it is so exciting that what used to be a depressing time of year has suddenly turned into a social whirlwind!!!!

The answer, darlings, is to make sure you have enough friends with January birthdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Set Your Calendars For This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Lucy Harbin took an ax!
Took an ax!
Took an ax!
---from "Strait-Jacket", written by Robert Bloch

I am talking, darlings, about Thursday, January 26, when, in what has come to be almost an annual (or bi-annual) event, Chelsea Classics, and Hedda Lettuce (the granddaughter of Bedda Lettuce, and the great niece of Nedda Iceberg!!!) will once again present the Joan Crawford classic, "Strait-Jacket," and I want to see all my girls there!!!!!!!!!

This is one evening you will not want to miss!!!!! A Camp Hoo-Down!!!!!! It may not be one of Joan's best films, but it certainly one of the most memorable, and one of my faves!!!!!!!!!!!

She plays Lucy Harbin, "very much a woman, very much aware of the fact," a glammed up Lizzie Borden, institutionalized for a series of ax murders. No repressed spinster she, and, honey, you have just GOT to see the scene where she lops off the head of her husband, played in an auspicious and uncredited debut, by a young Lee Majors!!!!!!!!!

Lucy spends twenty years in the loony bin--"Twenty years of PURE Hell!"--and no sooner is she out, than people are being axed again!!!!! Who could blame Lucy, now forced to stay with her Ice Queen sister-n-law, played with such frostiness by Rochelle Hudson, I was hoping she would get offed, not to mention her Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt In Her Mouth daughter, Carol, now engaged to Michael Field, the scion to a dairy, whose mother knows the true importance of social origins, let me tell you, and whose son is such a horn dog, he is ready to bang anything in sight--Joan, Rochelle, or his mother!!!--because he sure as hell ain't gettin' any from Miss Goody Two Shoes, Carol, brilliantly played by Diane Baker in a series of early 60's fashion getups that will just have you on the floor, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a film that enough just can't be written about. Though not for the same reasons, as, say, "The Wizard Of Oz." I still say some composer should be commissioned to write this an an opera for the Met, because the climactic scene with the Dueling Joans outdoes even the Mad Scene in "Lucia Di Lammermoor"!!!!!

Girls, if you have seen this film before, you owe it to yourselves to see it again!!! It will liven up your evening during the altogether dreary period of late January!!!!! And if you have NEVER seen it--well, lambs, there is NO excuse!!!!! I want to see each and every one of you at the Clearview Chelsea the night of January 26, this year, for the Campfest that is "Strait-Jacket!"

This is one film that should be seen with a bunch of Screaming Queens!!!!!! For those of you who may be single, you could get lucky that night!
Or meet the Man Of Your Dreams!!!!!!! I will be going to this with mine, dolls!!!!!!!!

See you there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"And I Will Never Suffer For YOU Again!!!!!! Do...You...UNDERSTAND???"

"What was that thing you said you did?
Public relations? Sounds PRETTY DIRTY
to me!"--Bette Davis in "Hush..Hush,
Sweet Charlotte"

Darlings, this bitch was LONG overdue to be named on here, so I can't think of any better way to commence 2012 than by choosing her!!!!!!!!

The winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is none other than....Miriam Deering!!!!!!!!!!

Miriam, as all my girls who LOVE "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte" know, is the cousin of Charlotte Hollis (Bette Davis, in one of the few times in her career she played an outright victim!!!). More important, though, she is the Female White Trash counterpart to John Mayhew (Bruce Dern), and I know, over time, many of you girls have wondered why these two did not team up. Well, let me be the first to tell you, darlings, that Trash does not align with Trash; it has to move up, in order to perpetrate its mendacity. I can tell you from family experience, believe me!!!!!!!!

Miriam Deering was the classic "poor relation." Her mother was nothing but a "sorry, up North waitress," and she arranged for the Hollises to "adopt" her, so that she might have a better life. But not to worry. Miss Charlotte is still the Princess, don't you forget it!!!!!!

Well, this viperous bitch just worms her way into everyone's presence, if not their hearts. She even manages to land the attentions of young Drew Bayliss (portrayed in the film by Jospeh Cotten), on his way to a promising career as a doctor, and scion to the kind of Southern family Miriam wants desperately to be incorporated in. But when the scandal of John Mayhew's murder, "allegedly" by Charlotte, takes place, and the Hollises are thrown into scandal, I am sure the Baylisses told their son, none too slowly, to ditch Miriam, for the sake of family propriety, which he did. Miriam is mysteriously dispatched to Paris, where she has remained, till, in the film, she comes to "help" Charlotte.

No sooner does she arrive, dolls, than the sparks fly!!!! Who can forget Charlotte calling her a "vile, sorry little bitch!" Truer words were never spoken.
Or Miriam's retort, "Why shouldn't I have told him--Charlotte's father--that his darling daughter was having a dirty little affair, with a married man??" These are no Kissing Cousins, let me tell yo!!!!!!!

When I first saw this film, back in the late Sixties, I had just recently seen, for the first time, Olivia De Havilland's celebrated portrayal of Melanie in "Gone With The Wind." What a contrast! Quite a testament to her acting abilities, though for most of her career, Olivia did more genteel roles. When she went for cruelty, it was more subtle, as in "The Heiress." No such subtlety here, darlings!!!!! She pulls out all the stops, outdoing even Tallulah Bankhead in "Die!
Die! My Darling"!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, the scene in the car, when she slaps Bette and says the classic line in the headline bar is Camp at it Highest!!!!!!!! No wonder, in the gay drag stage version, most "actors" want to play Miriam; though, personally, I would rather play the role of Velma, immortalized by the great Agnes Moorehead.

The problem with Miriam was she simply did not understand her place. After crawling out of what ever Goat Alley hovel she was in, and living with the Hollises, she thought she could ride the Gravy Train on equal footing with Miss Charlotte. She simply did not realize her position would always place her in the background, where she was none too willing to be. She should have been grateful, as Charlotte told her!!!!! But breeding wins out, especially in the South, darlings, so Miriam did not stand a chance!!!! So she stewed and simmered in Paris, returning to become one of the great iconic bitches of all time!!!!!!!!

So here is to 2012's first Bitch OF The Week, Miriam Deering. A better start you could not find!!!!!!!!!!

And don't you just LOVE when Charlotte tosses that urn onto she and Drew????? Crash! Bam! Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember, darlings, not to turn your back on your "poor relations." Otherwise, they just may stab you!!!!!!!!!!!!

"And Now....Nothing?"

Darlings, I cannot tell you what a strange dream I had last night, prompted by a dramatic vehicle from the 1950s I know full well, and have not given much thought to recently--"Tea And Sympathy."

For those who may not know, this was Robert Anderson's 1953 drama, which was first done on Broadway with Deborah Kerr, John Kerr (no relation) and Leif Erickson, in the roles they repeated in Vincente Minelli's 1956 film.

Though outrageously dated, it is still included within the pantheon of American plays, dealing with homosexuality, though what it actually deals with bullying based on PERCEPTION, not actualization, of being homosexual.

How's this for irony, darlings??? You know who appeared in this on Broadway? None other than gay comic, future "Laugh-In" star, and recently deceased, Alan Sues!!!!!!!!

Tom Lee (Kerr) a boy, at a private school in New England, Chiton, (stand in for a lot of private schools in that region!!!)is--horrors!!!--not drawn to sports, roughhousing or lugubrious sexual female fantasies. He prefers classical music, socializing genteelly, sipping tea, and saving himself for the Romantic occasion. Tom is a Romantic in a world full of Apes, which is what the 1950s demanded of a straight man. (That one be more of an Ape, I mean!) It is easy enough for the viewer to say, "Oh, yeah, he's gay," but what made "Tea and Sympathy" interesting in this case, is that, like the character of Matt in "Young Adult," he really wasn't. The play can be seen as a coda for tolerance of those of homosexual bent, but what is really being meted out here is a tale of how perceived stereotypes, or, rather, the wrong ones, can have a damaging effect. And this works for both good and bad.

In today's climate, where the issue of bullying has been called to mind by tragedies such as Tyler CLementi, this story poses the idea that everyone has the right to march to their own drummer rather than fall into the conformity of their time. And this time--the 50s--was very rigid, darlings--if you weren't like the others as a man, you were gay, and if you were a woman and did not dress like June Cleaver, and live for your electronic mixing bowl and dishwasher--God forbid!!!!!!
Deborah Kerr's character, Laura Reynolds, has the same problem, so it is not surprising they are drawn to one another--two pegs in round holes. Laura has the added background of having been an actress; she knows the score, honey, so when it comes distinguishing between gay and straight, no one knows better than she!!!!!! She knows her hubby, Bill Reynolds (Leif Erickson) is harboring repressed homosexual instincts, and that Tom's father, Herb Lee, (wonderfully played by Edward Andrews) is just a big old Closet Case.

The ending of "Tea and Sympathy" is classically Romantic. Knowing Tom harbors a crush on her, and, as a way of showing him he is as much like the rest, if not better, Laura gives herself to him, with the now famous curtain closer, "Years from now, when you talk about this....and you will....be kind!" The play's ending is beautiful, but unfortunately it has come to be interpreted by those of a conformist bent that Love Of A Good Woman Will Cure Homosexuality!!!!! Listen, I may want to look like Blythe Danner, I just don't want to sleep with her!!!! (Nothing personal, Blythe!!!) And this is one of the ways in which this play becomes entrenched historically in the pantheon of American plays dealing with homosexuality.

Its ambiguity may have all to do with why it is hardly revived today, despite some finely written parts for actors. In pleading for tolerance of the Individual, homosexuality (whether real or alleged) is seen as something still needing to be cured.

And the movie goes this one better. The film is done in a flashback, with Tom at his 10 year reunion (why he would go back to such a place of trauma is question enough, right there!) sporting the biggest, gaudiest, wedding ring ever seen on film, to let us all know that He Is Straight!!!!!!!! Bill Reynolds (Leif Erickson) sort of gets a comeuppance, being seen now as withdrawn, embittered (like a latent Queen!!!!!!) listening to--gasp!!!!!--classical music, handing Tom a letter from Laura, which relates how after their encounter she was found to be a pariah and left Bill. Then we go into the actual story.

Bosley Crowther had the right idea. Because the closing line of the film was so Classic, and because, at heart, it captures some human truths, he suggested audiences leave the movie theater after Deborah Kerr utters the classic line...so that it serves as a curtain closer. I could not agree more!!!!!!!!!

As stated at the beginning, the reason I am musing on this nearly forgotten work was a dream I had last night. I was taking an acting class, and needed a scene partner. So I called my former colleague and Acting Genius, Janice (who studied with Uta Hagen, let me tell you!!) and we proceeded to do the penultimate final scene from "Tea And Sympathy" in class. The teacher was so impressed (this is a dream remember!!!!) that it managed to get produced on Broadway, with us starring, to a long run and great acclaim--probably some TONY Awards!!!!!!

Back in the eighties, when I COULD have done it, I always wanted to do the role of Tom, with Blythe Danner as Laura!!!!! Today, considering that the Lunts did "Romeo and Juliet" in their fifties, I think there would be no problem with Janice and I doing Laura and Tom!!!!!!!!!

I mean, darlings, my PROFESSIONAL age is still 24!!!!!!!

And if this dream DOES come true, darlings, all my girls will get comps!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Harvey!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the 63rd birthday of my movie maven mad friend, Harvey!!!!!!! He has about five months on Meryl Streep, but, girls they are doing both great. Harvey is what I call a Steel Magnolia, in overcoming the adversities--physical and emotional--that have been handed out to him. On his canes, he now walks faster than most people I know on their two legs. He walks softly, but carries a big stick, let me tell you, so do not mess with Harvey!!!!!!!!!

Here is wishing Harvey 63 more years of continued success!!!!! Monsieur and I will take him out Friday to his usual haunt, the Good Stuff Diner, where, hopefully, his subjects and couriers will pay homage to him!!!!!!!!!!

I have no doubt Harvey is at a movie, even as we speak. He should have appeared, now ten years ago, in the documentary "Cinemania," and I still maintain that he is secretly Rollereena!!!! But Harvey refuses to confirm or deny!!!! I WILL say,girls, that I have never seen either in the same place, at the same time!!!!!!!

So, a special birthday wish for Harvey!!!!!!! What more can I say than what I always say??????

You're doing GREAT, Harvey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back To The Slag Heap, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, dolls the Holidays are officially at an end, now that I have returned to my first full day of work. Another year here in the slag heap, serving up heaping portions of glamour tinged with insight. We can throw out hope that human behavior undergoes some improvement this year, but, let's face it, to do that, you would have to
genetically transform an entire species!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, here is to another work year!!!!! Begone, evil ones who have no power over me!!!!!!!!! Onward and upward, as we say at the start of the year!!!!!

And what better way to depict visually the anguish of returning to work, from a long, relaxing holiday! than a Bangladesh sweatshop???????????

Not to worry; the Raving Queen is on the job, and all will get reported!!!!!!

Like tonight, when we have our special dinner with Alvin at Mez Mezcal, the glamorous Mexican eatery on the Upper East Side!!!!!! I may need a Margarita or two before this day is through!!!!! So stay tuned for more, dears!!!!!!!!!!

And see you on the front lines at 12, girls!!!!!!!!!

Girls, This Goes Way Beyond "Chink" Lit!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, being of a literary bent, of course I had been aware of Lisa See as a writer for years. In fact, several people had recommended to me her book, "Peony in Love." So, one day, last year, while browsing at BookBook, I came across a reduced priced copy of "Shanghai Girls"!!!! I always alternate heavy stuff with light stuff,and this would, I thought do perfectly for the latter. The cover, two beautifully coiffed sisters, suggested nothing more than well written "Chick Lit," or, as the case would have it, "Chink Lit." I began the book under this assumption, but was I ever wrong!!!!

What Lisa See writes, in minimum length, but with maximum effect, is an encompassing story of two sisters, Pearl and May, that moves from Shanghai in 1935 to America in 1957. The historical detail instantly destroys the illusion of frivolous romance, but when See chronicles the massacre of Shanghai by the Japanese, where Pearl and her mother are raped, side by side, I knew I was dealing with a serious writer who was not afraid to go to the "dark places." Her observations of the Chinese in America during this time, particularly in Los Angeles, where the setting moves to, and the treatment of these people in the work force and film industry (yes, Hollywood comes into the picture) are both gripping and disturbing. Fascinating to me was her evocation of a kitsch place called "China City," basically an Occidental Fantasyland, constructed from sets of movies such as "The Good Earth," capitalizing on every conceivable stereotype by Americans during this time. And this predates Chun King and "Flower Drum Song," darlings!!!!!!

The story even comes full circle, ending on such a cliffhanging note, I swear if See does not write a sequel, I will petition her to do one, myself!!!!!

So, the first book of 2012 turns out to be lighter than most but more substantial than one might expect. Now that I have been introduced to Lisa See, I can't wait to read more of her!!!! Highly recommended, loves!!!!!

Happy Reading, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!