Adventures In Bay Ridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Girls, I wouldn't be completely honest, if I did not tell you all about the act of heroism my beloved Monsieur did this past Saturday, actually saving a woman's life!!!!!!!!!!

                           We had just come from seeing the Borscht Belt horror film, "The Possession," at the Alpine, and were walking up Fifth Avenue, when we saw a middle-aged woman standing, and a much older one in a wheel chair.  I do not know the status of their relationship, though it was clear they were together.  The woman is standing around, I thought (actually, she had stopped to light a cigarette!!!!) and, before my horrified eyes, the wheel chair, just like the baby carriage, seen above, from the Odessa Steps sequence in "Potemkin," began rolling down the inclined sidewalk, heading for the curb, where it would have either landed the old woman flat, or sent her flying into the street, getting her injured, or, most probably, killed!  I screamed, and before I could move, Monsieur--with his weak ankle, yet!!!!!!!!----ran to the chair, grabbed onto the handles, and prevented tragedy in the nick of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            There was thanks all around, but no remuneration.  Not that we were looking for any, but, hell, it would have been nice!  But, as you know, I am always one with an opinion, and what I want to know is, what was that woman doing lighting that cigarette, at that precise time, and in that precise location???? Because if we hadn't happened along, there might have been a Death On Fifth Avenue!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Are you kidding?????  More like Murder!!!! Because, how do we know the woman with the cigarette wasn't trying to kill the other?????????  I know how to deal with these types!!!!!!!!  I've watched enough "Investigation Discovery," and this to me looked like trouble.  If someone had filmed it as evidence, we might have gone to the cops, and sent this Granny Killer to the slammer!!!!!!!!!!  And, of course, if I hear of any sudden elderly female deaths in Bay Ridge, I will wonder!!!!!!!!!!

                             See what happens, loves???????  The minute you don't go looking for adventure, it comes after you!!!!!!  This is plenty for me, thank you!!!!!!!!!!  Perhaps the moral is not so much to avoid Fifth Avenue, which would be impossible, but to avoid crappy horror movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            From now on, I am sticking with "Slaughter On Tenth Avenue," girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

Darlings, What's The Story With Paula Zahn??????????

       
                            Last night, lambs, was the Season Finale of "On The Case With Paula Zahn," which I just HAD to see!!!!!  It was something; about this 1978 murder of this affluent Florida businessman named John Mack Allaman, Jr.  Who had a son, John III, in college.  He was stabbed in his own home, presumably in his own bed, and his case had gone cold for years.

                            Now, before you start wondering any further, like I did, let me say that, from all indications, John was not only straight, but a Straight Arrow.  Lost his wife when their son was a child, raised the kid by himself, pillar of the community, the kind of person who never drank anything stronger than orange juice, or milk!!!!!!!!!  You know, like Anita Bryant pretended to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             He was also a humanitarian; you could say he was the Sister Simplice of Bird Key, the wealthy, island community off Sarasota, he resided in.  He was one who would lend a hand to those down on their luck.  And this proved to be his downfall;on October 19, 1978, when he picked up a 29-year-old itinerant, named Kenneth Paul Auringer, a real sleazebag!  After John brought him home, gave him a home cooked meal, and lodging for the night,--again, I stress there was no evidence of "hanky panky"--this scum awoke in the middle of the night, and, having, presumably, cased the joint mentally, decided to rob and murder him, stabbing the sleeping man in his bed!!!!!!!!!  John awoke, made it to his glass doors, before Auringer stabbed again, this time, finishing the job.  The place was trashed, he made off with stuff, including John's car, which he ditched.  And, until 2009, even though a backpack and cigarette butts were left behind, it took 31 years to put this filth away, where he will now rot for the remainder of his days!!!!!!!  Good riddance!!!!!!!!  And let's hear it for John III, for having to live through this as a young man, but still being able to discuss it today!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Now, what has all this to do with Paula Zahn????????  Well, of course, she hosts the show!  It's not just that nose; after all these years, hers is one of the most famous of current show biz schnozzes!!!!!!!!!!!  But there are so many things I wonder about!!!!!!!!!!

                           How the mighty have fallen!!!!!!!!!!!  I can recall when Paula Zahn seemed to be on the rise, on the fast track at CBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  From that, to a now pulp journalism crime show???????  I mean, if I did one; fine!!!!!!!!!!  I was never on the fast track at CBS!!!!!!!!!  But Paula????????????

                             And her performance is close to Camp!!!!  I mean, she is SO earnest about these trashy crime cases!!!!!!!!!!  It is like she is attempting to enact the role of Meryl Streep As Serious Journalist!!!!!!!!
Give it a rest, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!  We love your show, but recognize you're working for a media rag, not crime reporting for the Washington Post!!!!!!!!!!!  If Truman Capote were alive, dolls, he would have fits of laughter over this, while downing a bottle of bourbon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Get real, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!  Admit the honesty of what you are doing, and stop taking  it, and yourself too seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Like me!!!!!!!!!!!  Come on, now!!!!!!!!!!!  Do you really think I believe this blog to be Proust???????????????

Hava, Nagila, Hava!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Girls, I am telling you, it was just too much!!!!!!!!!!  This was supposed to be my triumphant return to the Alpine Movie Theatre in Bay Ridge, after 15 years!!!!!!!!!!!!  The last movie I saw there was--I can actually remember--Woody Allen's "Everyone Says I Love You!' in 1997!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I figured my return would be on a par with Dolly Levi coming back to Harmonia Gardens!!!!!!   Except, darlings, for me, it was more a whimper, than a bang!!!!!!!!!!

                             Because Monsieur and I, and some others, went to see "The Possession," the biggest hoot of a horror movie, with the emphasis on hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Like the song in "Gypsy" says, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick!"  The gimmick here is, basically, a Jewish version of "The Exorcist."  Imagine, the Hasidim community as heroes!!!!!!!!  That is what you get here!!!!!!!

                                But this movie begs so many questions.   The first is, why did Kyra Sedgewick, riding high with "The Closer" take on this crap?????????????????   The second is, why wasn't I seen for the role of Emily, the possessed child?????  Honeys, this is right up my alley!!!!!!!!!!!!  She writhes, she screams, she leaps onto Daddy, and all kinds of stuff comes out of her mouth!!!!!!!  I am telling you, I could do this part with my eyes closed.  I just about do, every day, at work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The first thing this movie made me realize is the need for good agent representation.  Too bad the actors herein did not see that!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               But there are other mysteries.  Why wasn't the dybbuk played by Barbra Streisand???????   And how come the score of "Funny Girl" did not, at any time, emanate from the possessed child's mouth?????????????

                                 And you should have seen the Hasidim, especially Matisyahu, as Tzadok!!!!!  Strictly from Central Casting, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Better to have brought Henny Youngman back from the grave, and hired Tovah Feldshuh to be the exorcist.  No dybbuk would mess with her!!!!!!!!!!  Not even Barbra, because she  knows who the better "Yentl" is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The sad thing is, contemplating these questions the movie raises for me is actually more entertaining than actually watching it!!!!!!!!!!  And when we got out, I thought about heading to Manhattan to nosh down at the Second Avenue Deli--which is not even on Second Avenue, anymore!!!!!!!!!!

                                   "The Possession" is such a hoot, it should be billed as a comedy!!!!!!!!!  And based on a true story????????  Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!!  Even Isaac Bashevis Singer, in his grave (may he Rest In Peace!!!!!!!) wouldn't buy that one!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But there is no doubt this movie possesses sensory stimulation!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to have Monsieur cook me a Kosher brisket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        With compote, for desert, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                               

Happy Labor Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Well, girls,  here we are, the day that ends the most magical time of the year, and heralds the beginning of something else.  There is something sad about Labor Day, because, even though there is technically about two-and-a-half weeks left of Summer, after today, everything seems to come to a screeching halt!  Homes shut up, beaches shut down, and amusements close for another year as we commence the long exodus from Fall into Winter!!!!

                             So, make the most of this final day of magic, girls!!!!!!!!  And think how the Summer of 2012 should be remembered.  Celebrity deaths and gun shootings?  Well, there were those, but how about the magic of being with those we love, in the warmest, both physically and emotionally, of seasons.  Its childhood associations linger; they never seem to leave.  I will remember this summer as that of Re-Discovery--of Brooklyn, Bay Ridge, and, of course, love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Let the memories linger!  One last caress, darlings, it will be time to dress for Fall!!!!!!!

                             Soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, This Is Just Too Much!!!!!!

                       No, darlings, this is NOT a photo of me, taken one Halloween, when I was a child!  My mother never would have allowed me to tart myself up like this, but tarting up is, I guess, a prime requisite for being a contestant on "Toddlers And Tiaras," which the photo is from.

                     "Dance Moms" at least has camp value!!!!!!!!!!  This show is truly macabre!  The whole thing reeks of exploitation bordering on child prostitution, the mothers act more like pimps than parents, and every male on site--be it judge or stage crew-- seems to look as though they harbor pedophile fantasies!!!!  Which would not surprise me, darlings, one bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Just look at this!  The episode I saw, featured Destiny (great name for a hooker or drag queen, not a child!!!) slutted up like Olivia Newton John as Sandy at the end of "Grease," posturing sexily, to "You're The One That I Want" over the speaker system!!!!!!!!!  And, darlings, she is 4 years old, and that is a REAL  cigarette (thankfully unlit!) placed in her mouth by her mother, seen doing this backstage!!!!  And when Little Destiny prances out, hips swiveling, and throes the cig down on the ground, and stamps it out with the front of her open toe heeled pink pumps, (with matching nail polish, of course!!!)  well, all I can say is, why didn't someone called Child Services???????????  It isn't Destiny who should be held accountable; it is her mother!!!!!!!!!!!

                     No one, anywhere, at any time, on this show, displays any sense of shame!  I get a very definite sense from the kids that some of them are already disgusted by this; they are not so dumb!  But they are not the ones in control, so what chance do they have????  I am telling you, darlings, ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road, look for  some of these tykes to wind up on "Snapped!" or "Deadly Women!"  Their futures, to paraphrase Stanley Kowalski, are mapped out for them!  Engineered by their exploitative Mamas!!!!!!!!

                     Hey, ladies (and I use the term loosely here!!!!!) instead of tarting up your daughters , why not hit the streets, or the Web, and peddle your sorry ass  selves, instead of your daughters????  Maybe because no one would give you a second look????  Huh, dolls??????   Meanwhile, you are merchandising your still innocent flesh and blood for every potential pedo or nutso out there!!!!!!!!  And you thought Mama Rose in "Gypsy" was pushy?????????????

                      Watching this show, I did not know whether to be fascinated or disgusted.  A little bit of both maybe!!! But, to continue to watch this would, I feel, be tantamount to advocating child exploitation, and every additional viewer this show gets, the ante goes up a little further!!!!!!!!!!  So that is it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Now, if I could be a contestant, that would be different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"On A Picnic Morning, Without A Warning," Darlings!!!!!!

                            Sweethearts, it's Labor Day Weekend, which always brings to my mind William Inge's play, "Picnic," and the wonderful film made of it in 1955, with Kim Novak in the fabulous pink dress (which we would all love to wear, girls!!!!!!!!!) dancing with William Holden, and doing "Moonglow!"  On this Saturday, back in the 60's and 70's, ABC-TV always commemorated both the holiday and this film by airing it on their 11:30 late night movie!

                            "Picnic" takes place one Labor Day Weekend!  How I just LOVE Verna Felton as Mrs. Potts!  When Hal Carter (Holden) comes to town, you better believe her eyes light up!!!  Just like so many of my girls' eyes have been set afire, now that Jake Gyllenhaal has come to town!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Every holiday seems to have its special movie, and "Picnic" is it for Labor Day!  So, whether you are having your own "Picnic," or watching this one, have a good time, this last, unofficial weekend of Summer!

                               And may we all look as good as Kim Novak as Madge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              "A picnic spot is our rendezvous" darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You Want To Do Homework??????????"

                                Girls, I am telling you, I cannot believe this is September!!!!  As far as I am concerned, when we get into what I call the "ber" months, the year is shot!!!!!!!!!!  What a fast one it has been, and how fast the Summer has flown!!!!!!!!

                                 Years ago, when Nana (my maternal grandmother, who lived with us!!!) used to get rapturous over "The Lawrence Welk Show," I used to love the Lennon Sisters.  They were so fresh and wholesome; just like I wanted to be.  They were also a cottage industry.  Board games, Whitman children's mysteries, and, I am sure, at least one Colorforms set, was inspired by them!!!!!!

                                  During this Labor Day weekend period, there was this one number, which, of course, I forever associate with the month, with the sisters all grouped around the kitchen table, with books, pencils and paper.  It was some kind of musical Back To School homage, where they all sang "You want to do homework?"  This at a time when I was still old enough to get homework, and, no, I did not particularly want to do it!  Especially if it was doled out by Mrs. Santamarina!!!!!!!

                                   Funny how, as adults, with school being an ever distant memory, this month's  association with school still lingers.  Having been out of high school 39 years, and college 35, I still think of September as Back To School Month!!!!

                                   And, of course, it has become more than that.  A mixture of light and dark, what with Fall and "Frank Mills" on one hand; September 11 and Tyler Clementi on the other.

                                    Oh, and don't forget La Festa De San Gennaro !!!!!   Aboondonza!!!!!!!

                                     So, here we are, another September, another year gradually starting to wind down!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Autumn leaves must fall, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!