Would You Believe This, Darlings????? Naughty Nuns On 'Criminal Intent'!!!!!

Darlings, I am telling you, the episode "Acts Of Contrition" (what a title!!) was stunning. Here, I just wanted a quiet evening in with Monsieur, a nice relaxing dose of "L and O," and what do I get--a murder mystery, set in a church and convent!!!! I was wide awake at that point, especially, as I so clearly recognized, the producers, to cut back on costs, used as location exteriors, various sights around the Cloisters!!!!
You can't fool me, loves!!!!!

Poor Amy Wright! From an up and coming ingenue to bit parts. If you blinked, you did not see her, because early on she is murdered by someone springing out of the confessional, and knocking her against a pillar, spilling a pool of blood. Bye, Bye, Sister Dorothy!!!!

For many years, she had been mentoring Sister Olivia, played by Susan Misner, as though butter would not melt in this sister's mouth!!!! But some Sister she is, sisters!!!!!!!! As Goren and Eames delve into things, we learn that before she become a nun, Sister Olivia was some big ghetto crack ho' named...Angie Di Marco!!!!!
That has got to be the best moniker since "Grease's" Cha Cha Gregorio, who, all my girls know, was voted the Best Dancer at St. Bernadette's!!!!! Sister/Angie was no better than the girls she is tending to, humanitartian style, like a White Sister Peg!!! But, honey, she ain't no Sister Peg!!!!

Seventeen years before, this rotten, racist tramp witnessed the gang beating of a Black man, whom she set up with two guys, one of whom she wanted to like her. She not only witnessed the beating, which left him a vegetable, she kicked him, and used the "N" word!!!! Of course, she runs off, and somehow ends up in an upstate convent, where she is turned around, and mentored by Sister Dorothy. But once she gets murdered, Olivia knows the past always closes in on one, and not only does she repent (though crocodile tears, I thought--too little too late; has this nun even seen "The Song Of Bernadette?"), if the beaten guy dies, she will be charged with murder!!!!! Too bad this was not a two parter--a nun on the stand, with a lurid past, taking the rap--this goes WAY BEYOND "The Trouble With Angels!!!!"

I am telling you, this was grittier than "The Sound Of Music," with a smaller body count than "Dialogue Of The Carmelites!" And then, there is always Goren and Eames; love Kathryn Earbe's no nonsense, which cut through all the Catholic bullshit she saw, having been raised on it. And, of course, Vincent D'Onofrio's Goren, the admittedly lapsed altar boy, whose suit size changes every week, and isn't that fun to watch!!!!!!!

Girls, the next time it is on, you have GOT to see "Acts Of Contrition." Believe me, dolls, you will not heartily sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Why Do They All Look The Same???????????

You have to wonder about this week's Bitch Of The Week Winner; she looks just like a Stepford Wife!!!!!!!!! In fact, the women there were probably more independent thinking than she!!!!!!!!!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is Michelle Bachmann!!!!!!!

Yet another acolyte of Miss Sarah Palin, who even comes off looking like a knockoff of her. Which is what I mean about Stepford. Another Tea Party-er; now, honey, I nave nothing against tea parties, Lord knows, but this is one Tea Party that needs to be broken up!!!!!!!!!!

It's the same old crap--no same sex marriage, pseudo Christian family values crap, which very likely masquerades a great deal of sexual hypocrisy and impropriety. I mean, look at her fat, indulged husband????? You think he is content to settle for one woman???? Are you kidding????? Maybe he likes boys!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle and her ilk are such sad cases, because they think they are fulfilling their Manifest Destiny of Women's Rights to participate in government, but what they are really playing into is the male mainstream politicians' sexist concepts of what a woman ought to be, which means the movement is getting absolutely nowhere.
Consider that this ilk all look the same and espouse the same traditional values that their 50's mentality male spouses and congregants have been shoving down their throats. And they take it, and regurgitate it back, thinking they are advancing the cause of Women's Rights! What a load of crap!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now consider Hillary Clinton. When she first appeared on the scene--oh, my God!!!!--there was such criticism from male politicians about everything from her hair style, her strong stands on issues (how dare she???) and that, as she admitted, is not "one to stay home and bake cookies!" So this woman who is capable of advancing things get reviled, while these Tea Party toting dames, who come off as deceptively dumb, but probably exhibit the same nastiness as Angela Lansbury in "The Manchurian Candidate" (one of their role models, I am sure!!!!!!!), but as long as they serve to maintain the male status quo they are approved of. God forbid someone strong and intelligent like Hillary and her crowd want to shake things up.

Yet it does not stop Michelle and her ilk from pursuing their misguided dreams!!!!!!!!! So hats off to our latest Bitch Of The Week!!!!!! May she find out her high school best friend is secretly a big old Fag Hag!!!!!!!!!!! And speaking of hags, Michelle, in a few years, you will vanish into obscurity and look like one.

So enjoy your Bitch Of The Week fame, however brief it lasts!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, "Miss Saigon" Was Not The Only Musical Inspired By A Photograph!!!!!

Now, I have a better idea, darlings, of why this more recent show popped into my head!!!!! Forty years ago, one of the musical stage's classics, "Follies" (one more day till I go, loves, and you better believe I will be wearing pink, in honor of Dorothy Collins!!!) was inspired by the photo you see of Gloria Swanson standing in the rubble of New York's once famed Roxy Theatre!!!! So, history has repeated itself in a way; the difference being the first time out resulted in a classic, the second in, well, a commercial success, but hardly a classic.

But let's talk about "Follies" a moment. Not having seen the original (I WAS old enough--16--at the time, but as a suburban neophhyte, my parents did not want me to go to New York alone, where my then purity might be impugned!!!!!), I can live with the fact that no production will live up to it, but, having missed the Paper Mill production (with Donna McKechnie, no less, as Sally), let us hope this one outdoes the Roundabout, which, despite Blythe Danner, Judith Ivey, Polly Bergen and several others, had lackluster work from the men (Treat Williams and Gregory Harrison, who should know better) and a Loveland sequence that would have been GREAT in community theater, but did not cut it on Broadway!!!!!

The word I have heard on this "Follies" is good, but I worry. Bernadette Peters is playing Sally (which is MY role, darlings, not just because of the pink and the songs, but because Dorothy Collins and I share the same birthday, November 18. Or, at least we did, when she was alive!!!) which has me worried. I know Bernadette will look great and nail the songs, but she is one of those performers, like BARBRA, that, no matter what she does, she is always....Bernadette. Her charm got her through "Annie Get Your Gun," but she really wasn't Annie, so I hope she fares better here; for "Follies" to work, you have to believe Sally's plight and desperation.

So, we shall see tomorrow evening, and you know, girls, I will give you a full report on all I see. And, let me tell you, the "Who's That Woman?" number had better blow the roof off the theater!!!!! If it doesn't, the director is going to hear from me!!!!!!

One photo inspires a fave, the other a redux. Let us hope this "Follies" meets with its mavens' approval. There are a lot of us out there, and if this does not come up to snuff, I hope the creators of this realize the danger they are in!!!!!! Attacks from screaming Theater Queens and Sondheim fanatics, both!!!!!!

And I will lead the way, darlings!!!!! Yonduh lies muh fathuh's castle on duh hill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Would You Believe A Photograph Inspired This Musical?????

Girls, what in the world has made me think of "Miss Saigon?" It is not even one of my all-time favorite shows. Its score is derivative, at best. But the black and white photo shone her, loves, is what started the whole thing, once Claude Boubil saw it!!!!!!!!

How well I remember all the attendant hoopla surrounding this show, when it first opened on April 11, 1991. My God, it has been 20 years!!!! The first Broadway musical to reach the $100 ticket price. The first to feature a helicopter that flew onstage. (Though people who went for this alone were cheated; the vehicle was so far upstage right, if you did not sit far front enough, you barely saw it. And as for flying, it arose vertically into the air, and out of sight, and that was it!!!! And people got all worked up over THAT??? Back in the late nineteenth, early twentieth centuries, darlings, theater producers were getting the entire chariot race sequence from "Ben-Hur" onstage, with live horses. Puh-leeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!) The first show to star Lea Salonga; hell, it MADE her a star!!!!! And a show that had Asians all over protesting over the casting of Jonathan Pryce in the pivotal role of The Engineer. And two Broadway veterans appeared in small but important roles--Hinton Battle and Liz Callaway.

But, girls!!! This was simply Puccini's "Madame Butterfly" rewritten and transplanted to Saigon in 1975. With the opening number, featuring a chorus full of grunges, singing, "The heat is on in Saigon...one of these chits here will be Miss Saigon," (hey, don't you call ME a chit, you hear!!! I am a GOOD girl, darlings) it was apparent this show was not a world beater.

The real reason to see it were Pryce and Salonga's performances. But with the ticket price so high, and seats sold out so far in advance. some of us did not stand a chance. So when they moved on, I lost interest in seeing it--though it seemed never to go away. I promised myself I would see it ONLY if Lea Salonga returned to it. Who would have thought??? Several years later, I got my wish!!!!!

My viewing of "Miss Saigon" was memorable, though not for the reasons I wish. Lea Salonga was wonderful though; unquestionably so!!!! Just as the lights went down, the chorus began "The Heat Is On," and Miss Salonga took her first steps onstage, I noticed the stage lights slowly going down, then out, with the actors looking, at each other. Uh-oh!!!!! Then came the stage manager, announcing "technical difficulties," with most of the audience heading to the bar for free drinks, while I sat in my seat for a good 45 minutes or more, until the trouble was resolved, whereupon the show started again from the top. You can bet that was the night the musicians, and probably the stage hands, got overtime pay!!!!!!!!

But "Miss Saigon" really does not kick in till the second half of Act Two, meaning the three fourths you have to sit through to get to this might as well have been jettisoned. However, there is one moment therein that almost redeems the evening, and gives a hint of what the show might have been.

That moment comes from Chris'(the American soldier) wife, Ellen, (originated on Broadway by Liz Callaway ) who has come to Saigon with her husband, to claim the child he fathered and left behind, so that they may bring it to America. By accident, Kim (Salonga's character) and Ellen run into each other, but agree to keep this a secret. Ellen then steps forward, and wins the audience's sympathy with her heart rending performance of the plaintive ballad, "Now That I've Seen Her," suggesting that while she still loves her husband, she cannot despise Kim. It has a gorgeous, soaring melody that is the most compelling one of the evening, and it is at this point that most people who have been snoozing throughout the show understandably awaken. The American version is such an improvement, because, in the original London production (and you can hear it on that recording) this song was performed as "It's Her Or Me," which clearly makes Ellen into a selfish American bitch!!!! Maybe that is what the Brits think of American women; who knows? Wisely, the transatlantic journey enhanced the lyric, making it and Ellen more sympathetic, and giving the show its one winning moment. Honey, Ellen is the role all us actors dream for and pray; one where we get to sit backstage most of the eve, while collecting a paycheck, then suddenly walk out, and perform a showstopper to tumultuous applause. I am ready to do this role anytime you ask!!!! You hear that, Cameron Mackintosh???????

However, this show belongs to a recently deceased era that has now given way to this "Spring Awakening" nonsense, which, too, will end at some time. But you have to hand it to "Madame Butterfly;" it keeps being reconstituted. Its plot motif was at the heart of a little film almost a quarter century old, called "Fatal Attraction."

I am NOT going to be ignored, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will This Now Publish, Darlings????

I wonder!!!!!

Girls, This Is Still The Pip With Piz-azz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two years ago, darlings, BARBRA returned to New York, for an historical event I should have been at, but was not. I am not sure if Anna, or Meryl, was there, so you know damn well this event was even more exclusive than a Closed Meeting for Twelve Step addicts!!!!!!!!

The event was a 90 minute concert BARBRA did one Saturday night at the Village Vanguard, revisiting those Golden Days of the 60's, when she was just starting out, singing at the Bon Soir, which led to her being cast in "Funny Girl." After seeing this concert last night, with Monsieur, on PBS, I am thinking maybe I should do a similar gig, so Bartlett Sher will get smart, cast me, and toss that Lauren Ambrose out on her heel, while tying a tin can round that little broad's tail!!!!!!!

But the concert was FABULOUS!!!!! Lots of things I had never heard of (a song from "By Jupiter!"), things I hadn't in awhile ("Make Someone Happy," from "No Strings"), and some classics ("Evergreen," "The Way We Were.")

BARBRA looked great, despite years of ice cream eating and hot sex with James Brolin, who, seated front, still looks pretty good himself!!!!! More important, her voice is still in very good shape; if she has lost a bit of the lower register, the higher one and her belt more than make up for it!!!!! She could have done Fanny Brice onstage that night, which surprised me why she did no "Funny Girl" songs. I thought she would at least close with "People!"

Hello, Gorgeous!!!!! Darlings, this concert brought back to yours truly those halcyon days when I wanted to BE BARBRA, when we all did, and, thanks to the magic of this concert, felt that possibility still exists. Hey, Mr. Ziegfeld, here I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If they repeat it, darlings, you have to see it!!!!! Like getting closer to seeing BARBRA onstage. Which I haven't yet, but feel I am almost there!

Or maybe I won't see BARBRA till I am onstage with her!!!! In which case, I will get to say, "Barbra, get off MY stage!!!!!"

Love to you, on all your stages, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We Still Must Fight For Justice For Tyler!!!!!!!!!

Well, girls, we knew it would get ugly, and heated, but never fail,I can do it too.

Suddenly, court documents in the Tyler Clementi case seem to be crawling out of the woodwork. Some (which I can believe) paint a homophobic portrait of Dahrun Ravi; that, before they met, when he looked at Tyler's Facebook page, he called him, admonishingly, "flamboyantly gay." Later, he refers to Tyler (maybe after they met) as "gay, but regular gay." Hey, Dahrun, every time you open your mouth, toads pop out!!!
First, we learn you distinguish between degrees of gay, which is homophobic in itself, but when confronted counter with the "gay, but regular gay" remark, which still leaves the impression there is something wrong with being gay. And you want YOUR charges dismissed???? And YOU, especially in light of what happened, expect people to feel sorry for YOU???? Hah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, for Tyler. The mudslingers are claiming Tyler racist, that he slammed Ravi for being "so Indian, first generation American, stereotyping him as coming from a family of Dunkin' Donuts owners." Honey, how come we have not seen this aspect of Tyler till now???? Because there ISN'T ANY!!!! Even when he was trying to sort things out, we know of Tyler's ambivalence about confronting Ravi, saying "he is a pretty good roommate." As things turn out, it looks lie Ravi was intolerant--documents allege Tyler knew Ravi was uncomfortable with his homosexuality, saying he went into the closet to undress every time??? Hey, Dahurn, how did you survive high school Phys Ed.????? Sounds like you are uncomfortable with much more in addition to homosexuality. Tyler had no problem undressing in front of you; he did not put "the make" on you (you're not good looking enough!!!!), so who is the intolerant one, darling????? Hmmmmmm????????? And who is the one who committed suicide, and is dead?????

Before the incident even happened, the web cam was an issue. Ravi made a statement about its "helping to keep gays away;" Tyler voiced suspicions that Ravi would use it to spy on him--and he was right!!!!!!!!! Oh, and the mysterious "M.B.," Tyler's "date," is now revealed to be 25, which could make him a grad student, or someone Tyler met in the course of his musicianship, but NOT some sleazoid pick-up, as has been implied by the other side.

Sweeties, I will tell you--no matter how much mud these pricks keep flinging at Tyler, he still comes out on top, because every word that comes out of Ravi's mouth or texting, reveals a person with deep seated hatred and prejudice. No wonder the Prosecution has not commented that much; their work is being done for them!!!! Dahrun Ravi is digging his own grave!!!!!!!!

Keep digging, boy!!!! May you be consigned to the pit of your Hell for what you have done to Tyler and those who care about him!!!!!! You may or may not be Tandooried, but sooner or later, you will be. And sooner or later, you will realize this will never end for you, because you will be irrevocably associated with Tyler Clementi to the end of your days!!!!!!!!

I will keep on fighting, girls!!!! May you all do the same!!!!!!!!