How To Deal With "The New York Times 100 Most Notable Books Of 2018 List!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    Girls, you have to hand it to me, I am making up for not writing, by writing more today, than I have, in a long time.  There is no way I can cover this topic in a single post, because I also have to relate what I think The Times will pick as the Top Fiction Five, as opposed to what I might choose.  Limiting this topic to fiction, which is my primary interest, is a start.

                                    So, what I am going to start with is the books on the list that I have actually read, and then the ones I need to read.  The other topics I will write in other posts.    So, let us start with the List, and what I have read.


                                      List Books I Have Read So Far!

                                      1.

More people than I were impressed by this book, when I read it.  I will say, right now, and will state again, I think it will end up in the Top Five, Meaning, if it does, I will have to reread it again, to give it some careful consideration.  Recall, I did the same thing with "White Teeth," and disliked it just as much the second time!  So, we will see!

2.

                             I loved this more than some.  I called it "the first great read of 2018," and said it was expansive in its insights of feminism, female relationships, and the dangers of relying too much on a mentor.

                                3.

This book was my year's conundrum.  Many loved it, and, while it may not end up on The Times List, it will end up on many.  I loved the parts set in Chicago, during the AIDS crisis, but not the latter day, searching for daughter in Paris sequences.   For me, Makkai could not decide what story she wanted to write, and tried to write both. She should have stuck with the better, more engrossing, one.

4.

When I read this book, earlier this year, I found Silber's writing more arresting than her prose. A generational tale of two women and a child, and the blending of each's stories just did not come together for me.  I am not sure if it will turn up anywhere else, but Silber has written better stuff.

5.

This certainly surprised the hell out of me, when it turned up on the list.  It was an enjoyable, fun read, for those who enjoy grizzly fiction, as do I, but, really, it simply transplanted the Yoselyn Ortega case from New York's Upper West Side to Paris.  The reader brings to it knowledge, and what frightens one most.  But I will say the final sentence is one of the most chilling of the year.

6.

Upon reading this novel, earlier this year, I called it disturbing, and compared its structure to Joan Tewkesbury's screenplay for Robert Altman's 1975 masterpiece, "Nashville." In Oakland, CA a group of folk with different agendas convene at an American Indian folk festival, and the results are , if not surprising, harrowing.  This could make MY list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7.

As I have said, time and again, I have tried Ondaatje, and he has never impressed me.  But, with this re- imagining of Dickens' "Our Mutual Friend" set in World War II, and following the plight of two children, Nathan and Rachel, it is perhaps the most moving of his books I have read.  And this was way back in June, and it has stayed with me.  Where it ends up, who knows, but it worth reading if one has not!

8.

                                                You have heard me earlier today on this one.  Adventurous and picaresque, it appeals to that level of testosterone still in me that enjoys Jules Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson, and the like!  I can tell you it will make MY list, but I am not sure where!

                                                   So, THAT, darlings, is what I have to read so far.  Now, let's examine what I HAVE to read.  More to list, but less to say, not having read them.

                                                     Let's blast off, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage Talk, Part Two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I did promise you I would write more on this topic.  I may have to consult the actual text, because it is so hard to read on here,  But what is becoming clearer to me is the timelessness of these suggestions.  Back in 1958, they applied directly to women.  Now, sixty years later, they are equally applicable to gay men.  We've come a long way, baby!

                                   The first posts covered the first 13--but only the most outrageous ones.  This post will cover numbers 14 through 41, finishing up the "Where To Find Him" section, and going into "How To Let Him Know You're There!"

                                     So, gather round, boys and boys, or, girls, should you prefer to label yourselves as such!  Here we go, with your marital template!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      16. Volunteer For Jury Duty--Are you freaking kidding me?  You know how many nuts end up on jury duty?  This is one place NOT to find a husband.  And, if you do, you have found yourself a loser.  Jury Duty may be a repository for the lonely, but it is designed to fill time, not spark romantic attachments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       17. Be Friendly To Ugly Men--Handsome Is As Handsome Does!-- Of course, this does not mean going after psycho trolls.  It is a polite way of saying "Stop thinking of yourself as God's gifts, and lower your expectations to a grounded reality.  I mean, if you are Ernest Borgnine as Marty, you are not going to end up with Grace Kelly!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Attractiveness is both outside and in--embrace both, hons, or you do not stand a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       19. Get Lost At Football Games--Say, what?  And have to sit through the whole damn thing?  Listen, it may get you drunk, it may even get you laid, but it is NOT going to get a ring on your finger.  Men at these events are beasts who are either already married, or who have only one thing on their minds--and I don't mean kitty cats!  Forget this one, at once!

                                       20. Don't Take A Job In A Company Run Largely By Women--You won't be able to stand it, believe me!  Of course, if you are a lesbian, you stand a small chance, but these career bitches have no life except what is before them!  And you, girls, want a life outside the office!
A house, a pool, a bikini figure. I am telling you, it is what we all aim for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                       23. Go To All The Reunions Of Your High School And College Classes.  There May Be Some Eligible Widowers There!--This is SO wrong!  I mean, if you could not stand some of these people when young, what makes you think things will improve once you are older?  Remember, we are not talking about social chatting at a casual reunion; we are talking about living with someone 24/7.   Just because a connection, when there was never one before, springs up between you and a former rival, don't make the mistake of walking down that aisle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is definitely a NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      25. Don't Be Afraid To Associate With More Attractive Girls.  They May Have Some Leftovers!--Again, what are you, chopped liver?  Why settle for sloppy seconds?  The only thing you might glean is how to dress and do your hair better.  And how much weight to lose. But if you pick one of their losers, you will regret it big time, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      28. Change Apartments From Time To Time--Are you kidding me?  In the Fifties, this would have gotten you labeled as a prostitute, gun moll, or racketeer.  Today, in THIS economy, who can afford to apartment hop?  Because, if you can, then, honey, you have enough dough to land a live one by yourself, even if it is for money alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       29. When Traveling, Stay At Small Hotels Where You Can Meet Strangers--Read "A Streetcar Named Desire," by Tennessee Williams.  Remember what happens to Blanche Du Bois, after staying at "The Tarantula Arms."  That is all I have to say.

                                        30.  Learn To Paint.  Set Up An Easel By An Engineering School--I simply LOVE this suggestion.  Learning to paint is not a bad idea, in and of itself, but cruising outside an engineering school is bound to land you someone.  Now, engineers may not be the most exciting to live with, but they are loyal and good providers.  They can give you a walk in closet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Now, we come to the section on "How To Let Him Know You Are There!"

                                        32. Forget Discretion Every Once In A While, And Call Him Up!--Not good. I have just one thing to say. Glenn Close as Alex Forrest in "Fatal Attraction!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                        33.  Carry A Hatbox--This is just perfect, girls!  If the men are fascinated by the question of what is in it--like a human head in "Night Must Fall"--then you know these are guys to avoid.  If they are overly interested, then they are gay, and forget it!  Unless you are, too! But if they say you are too pretty to buy hats for yourself, when men like themselves can buy them for you, then go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      35. Make A Lot Of Money--Duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      40. Stand In A Corner, And Cry Softly.  He Will Come Over, And Ask What Is Wrong!--I LOVE this one!  The trick is to cry subtly, not profusely, or he will think something is wrong--REALLY wrong--with you!  This is standard for spinsters.  Think of Judith Evelyn as Miss Lonelyhearts in "Rear Window."  Once you do this, the evening is made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       And so ends Part Two of this post.  The third part will be along in several days.  Meanwhile, happy holidays, and may all your romantic dreams come true!

                                        But put these suggestions to use!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Most Picaresque Novel Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       When this novel first appeared on the scene, The Times went wild for it.  I have to admit I was instantly intrigued by having it start out as a balloon adventure.

                                           Actually, it starts out as a tortured family saga on a plantation in Barbados, 1830, leading to a balloon adventure, ending up in the arctic, with the young assistant being abandoned, and forced to experience life on his own.

                                             Many whose opinions I hold dear were kind of luke warm about this book.  I had never heard of Esi Edugyan, or what else she had written, so I felt trepidation about reading this book.  But once it made "he 100 Most Notable Books Of The New York Times List--" and we are going to talk about THAT, darlings---I knew I was duty bound to read it.

                                               Well, it was simply captivated.  Civil rights, the Abolitionist movement, and the fabric of science is woven into a sweeping narrative that does not stop until the last page, and is a brilliant literary amalgamation of Jules Verne, Mary Shelley, Joseph Conrad, Herman Melville, and Colson Whitehead, at his best.  This book is definitely going to be somewhere on MY list, and I am glad I read it, because I would have missed out on one of the year's treats.

                                                  "Pay no attention to that man, behind the curtain!"  The Raving Queen has spoken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black Friday Is Worse Than Black Flag Ant And Roach Spray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Black Friday is a form of Hell not mentioned in any religious contexts, though it should be, as it comes under the heading of Greed.

                              At least with Black Flag, the smell eventually wears off.  But with the horror of Black Friday, one is not safe, until all possessions are taken from the car, and the patron is locked in his or her house.

                              I can't begin to fathom the  kind of idiots who line up in the cold at 3AM, if not earlier, for this. The same nuts who end up on "Judge Judy."  Remember the year in Long Island, when a worker was trampled to death, simply from opening the doors?  I hope his family got a BIG settlement!

                               I would imagine there are patrons who get beaten out for the item or items the want, and follow their rival home, fighting for the goods, in the driveway.

                                 Black Friday is the closest we have to the reality of "The Purge."   I want nothing to do with it, and stay far away from it.

                                    Take up crafts, girls, like Amy Sedaris! It is safer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Were Priscilla Mullins Here To Celebrate Thanksgiving Today, She Would Look Just Like Edna May Oliver!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     As a child, Thanksgiving always made me think of Laurel and Hardy in "March Of The Wooden Soldiers."  But when it ventured into the realm of the Pilgrims, I recalled a cartoon about Miles Standish, John Alden and Priscilla Mullins, made, I think, by Warner Bros, where Priscilla was drawn to look like Edna May Oliver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Let's face it, I am sure she was no hottie!  She was no Blythe Danner, but at least she wasn't Lillian Hellman!!!!!!!!!!!  In looks, I mean.

                                          So, every Thanksgiving I think of Edna and Priscilla.

                                           Be thankful for your looks, darlings!  And for all the good things God gave us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           He even gave Priscilla the Man Of Her Dreams--John Alden!!!!!!!!!!!!  And me too, with my beloved David!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Gobble, gobble, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira Wishes Everyone On Here A Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Our lovable, humanitarian reptile friend, Gojira, would like to extend his wishes to all out there for a happy, healthy and safe Thanksgiving.

                               I am telling you, dolls, he has been busy for DAYS.  Of course, he dined with us at "Positano," and came with us to "A Chorus Line."  But, while inside his specially designed cabana, outside our apartment, he has been baking and cooking up a storm, wearing his chef's hat and apron. He  has been cutting, slicing, dicing, and baking pans of turkey, stuffing, veggies, and rolls, to take to the Sisters Of Mercy, where Sister Camille D'Arienzo is, and distribute trimmings--not forgetting potatoes, sweet and mashed--to all of them, and to the needy, especially the children.

                                  And doesn't he look so cute in his Indian hat?  He is a true peace maker.

                                  Gojira sends love to all out there.  But he is a busy guy, and on his way, so wish him well.

                                   Tomorrow, he takes a deserved rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Movie Is Actually Better Than The Book, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Not that the book is not worth reading.  But my advice to those of you planning to see the movie, and haven't, is to read the book.  If you have already seen the movie, forget about reading the book.

                                          You know me, lambs.  I have to read everything.  Well, almost!!!!!!!!!! The truth is, Joel Edgerton, Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe and Company, do a better job of conveying the message behind Conley's book than Conley's prose itself does.  The movie objectifies more, develops other character arcs, and, thanks to Lucas Hedges' brilliant and understated performance, pulls us into the character's situation in a way the book fails to.

                                             Maybe Lucas is just a stronger voice than Conley.  Because I found his prose at times over reaching, and not flowing well.  While some of the episodes--the rape leading to his outing, the breaking point reached where he could not take any more--are skillfully depicted, the book moves slower than the film, and points are better made on screen than the printed page.

                                               Which is funny, because, in the book, he talks about how he wants to be a writer.  Now, darlings, who am I to stop anyone, but the importance of "Boy Erased" is the story it has to tell, rather than the way it is.

                                                   I am not sure whether Conley has any more to tell.  This may be it, though he talks about writing "stories," so maybe he is just better at fiction.  I am willing to give him a try.  And, admittedly, I myself am partial to fiction, rather than non-fiction.

                                                     But read the book, and see for yourselves.  I expected to be as impressed from it, as I was from the film.

                                                       Unfortunately, I was not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!