Girls, Let Me Make One Thing Perfectly Clear--I Am Not Related To This Piece Of Garbage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Our last name--Hearn--may be the same, and while some of my relations did live in Florida, the connection ends there.  Even the White Trash relations whom I have, on occasion, bashed on here, have nothing on this guy.  Next to him, they are all Miss Porter grads.

                                       This guy was one big, dumb redneck Mama's Boy.  He was obese, lived with Mama, drank beer, sat in front of the TV--you know the deal.  Though his mother's tits were dried out by this time, he probably sucked wisdom from them every day.  Just like Norman Bates did.

                                         Also, to prove he is no relation of mine, John Wayne Hearn's main reading material was "Soldier Of Fortune Magazine," and the like.  In fact, in one issue, he posted an ad, stating he would do high risk assignments for pay.  That is how he hooked up with Debbie Bannister.

                                           Debbie Bannister asked this guy to kill her brother-in-law, Cecil Batie, due to a custody battle for their children, which her sister, Marlene, did not want to lose.  Debbie used good old S-E-X to entice the desperate John--who probably had never had any, outside of his mother.

                                           All this took place in Gainesville, Florida, which, like the town I grew up in--Highland Park, New Jersey--had a North and South Side.  In Gainvesville, the entire South side was the Wrong Side Of The Tracks; in HP; it extended from South Sixth Avenue, up.

                                            Now, John's mother lived on the North side and Debbie had notions of moving up the social ladder--for Gainesville--by moving  in there.  She screwed John, but good, because he was convicted and is now serving three Life sentences.  Girls, I say it again, you cannot mix with those from the Wrong Side Of The Tracks, because something bad will always come of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Clearly, this Hearn was Shanty Irish!   We were Lace Curtain, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 This is one leprechaun with NO Lucky Charms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 You heard it first, here, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!