After Today, Girls, May 2015 Becomes History!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              It was the Month of Mary.  It was the Month of Flowers. It was the 98th Anniversary Of Fatima.  My father had his 100th Birthday Party!

                               We saw "Hand To God," and "Finding Neverland."   Yet, for all the events recounted, by posting standards, May was not a very exciting month.  Am I hanging out at the wrong places?  I have been trying to get in touch with Liza, Gaga, and Beyyonce, but, honey, my stomach simply cannot handle Burger King!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I feel like I have let my readers down, with such few postings. True, there is always June!  And lots of events have been booked already!

                                 May sped quickly by!  As fast as Julie holding that final note in "The Lusty Month Of May!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    See you tomorrow, in June, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Nothing Can Destroy Her Talent...But She'll Destroy Herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            People have tried saying that about me, darlings, but they don't know what they are in for!  Destroy me?  You'd have to plow me with a Sherman tank--and then you MIGHT get lucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Why is Neely on my mind, these days?  I am not self-destructing, or anything.  In fact, I feel I am getting stronger!

                               I mean, when you have survived a trip to Hyde Park, seen a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt trying to look glamorous, and then being practically booted out of The Culinary Institute Of America--well, you get through all that, and you are a survivor, darlings!  Just like my beloved Cujo!!!!!!!!!

                                The Culinary Institute owes me a meal!  And they better come through!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Now, somebody gimme a cigarette!   I said, gimme a cigarette!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing Is As It Seems Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     When I picked up "The Daughter," for a diversionary read, I expected a generic novel about Every Parents' Nightmare--the child that goes missing.  The novel does, indeed, cover that--The Malcoms, a British family, who have a fifteen year-old overachieving daughter who should be having the time of her life, discover, over the course of a year, that she never was, and so goes missing.  The genius of the novel is that it works from within, dissecting the family so that their flaws carefully emerge, giving enormous insight into why what happens to them does.

                                        I don't want to hint at too much. Yes, daughter Naomi goes missing. Yes, there is a search, and an investigation. But that is as far as convention goes, here. Everything else is flipped over and turned on its side, so that what might be routine and typical emerges as fresh and engaging.  And it ends in ambiguity.  I have one idea about who Jenny, Naomi's mother, sees, at the end, and I think I am right, but anyone who reads the book, or has, feel free to air in with what you think.

                                         Don't expect the expected from this book. Or you will make the mistake of missing a compelling read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Come On, Jess!!!!!!!!!!!! Give Up The Stage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You Just Can't Do It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               You know we were all devastated, darlings, when we learned Jessica was departing "American Horror Story!" What on earth would she do next?

                                 Well, guess what, kiddies?  In December, courtesy of the Roundabout, Jessica and Gabriel Byrne will be playing the Tyrones in "Long Day's Journey Into Night!"  Oh, my God, why don't you just kill me, right now?  I have no problem with Gabriel Byrne playing patriarch James Tyrone; after seeing him in "A Touch Of The Poet," some decades back, I have no doubt he will ace it!  But Jessica as Mary? She has the artistic resources, but not the technical!  Plainly put--SHE CAN'T PROJECT ON STAGE!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Years back, I saw she, Sarah Paulson and Christian Slater in a revival of "The Glass Menagerie." Chris and Sarah did lovely work, and I was sitting so close, there were times I could have touched Christian--if I had wanted to. But the staging was done behind this gauze  curtain--a heavy handed symbol of Memory--and poor Jessica was barely discernible, vocally, to us in the first row.  Thank God I knew the play by heart; otherwise, I would have had trouble following it.  I still wonder what other audience members did, how they coped with all this!!!!!!!!!  I would have walked out!  Making it clear it was not the play, but Jess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    There was another Jessica--Tandy!!!!!!!--who could do magic on stage. I don't know if any film footage of her exists, but if there is any, I suggest Miss Lange take a look at her work, and study with a vocal teacher, before tackling Mary Tyrone!

                                       Otherwise, it will be a "Never Ending Journey Into Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This Fat Porker Of A Bitch Has A Special Spit Waiting In Hell To Roast Her Alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Lori Drew is Yesterday's News, but once she was big, very big. Historically, she will always be forever known as the "My Space Mom."  Long before Tyler Clementi, this was the cyberbullying case of the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I happened to catch the story on a recent broadcast of "Web Of Lies" On ID, and the hatred I felt was so intense I wanted to punch my fist through the TV screen.  But I just had a manicure, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                                   What Lori is held accountable for is the suicide death by hanging of Megan Meier, on October 17, 2006. To think this happened nearly ten years ago.  Now, MY Space is a thing of  the past.

                                     Anyway, the Meiers and the Drews grew up living near each other, and for a long time, Megan was best friends with Lori's daughter, Sarah. But, when middle school indicated a change for Megan might be of use, she was enrolled in Immaculate Conception Catholic School, in Dardenne Prairie, Missouri, just a town over, from O'Fallon, where the families lived.

                                       Why do things like this, happen in states like Missouri???????  It figures!!!!!!!!!

                                          Anyway, as Megan became more acclimated to life at the new school, she just did not have as much time for Sarah.  There was no official falling out, but Sarah felt slighted, and said something to her mother, Lori.  And Lori said something to Megan's mother, Tina. Now, up to this point, nothing was wrong.   Both mothers talked it over, agreed there was no falling out, and that the girls would find a way to see each other. Megan bore no ill will to Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Shortly after this, on a My Space account her mother allowed her to have, as all her classmates had accounts, Megan started receiving some interesting messages from a very handsome sixteen-year-old boy, named Josh Evans.  This extended into an online courtship, and, while I do not blame Tina for the ultimate outcome, when things started heating up online, she should have put a stop to it.   Because, if she had, Megan might still be alive.

                                             After weeks of chatting lovingly online, and trying to meet up in real time, which, somehow, always managed to fall through (and raise parental suspicions!!!!!!!!!) Josh turned on Megan hatefully, destroying with a vengeance, every shred of confidence the girl had built up, leading her to hang herself in her room on October 17, 2006.

                                              Which was bad enough, but what was worse,  A few weeks after the girl's death, her parents found out, through a neighbor named Michelle (who should have been charged, as well!!!!!!!!!!) that Josh Evans was not real, but a fabrication on the part of Lori Drew, her
daughter Sarah, and new best friend, Ashely, to get back at Megan for dissing Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Can you believe this sickness, darlings?  I mean, from two 13-year-olds is bad enough, but they were acting in accordance with their age.  The ringleader, whom I am sure made things more vicious for Megan than her classmates could, was a forty-plus Mom, acting like an over aged teen!!!!!!!!!!  What is that all about????????  Hey, Lori, what issues are still with you from your own teen years; were you acting out here?????????  Huh?????????????

                                                   Sarah and Ashley are Honorable Bitches, but Lori is the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!  She should have come to my attention, earlier, but here she is, at last!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      And, because there were no laws in place for this sort of thing, at the time, none of these women were convicted, and has done jail time.  In fact, Lori has a blog where I am sure she is still trying to justify her behavior.

                                                          Well, let me tell you something, Lori Drew! You deserve to burn in Hell, and if I walk up to you on the street, and see you, I will smack you across the face! And that goes for neighbor Michelle!  As for Ashely and Sarah, I hope you are married to two fat rednecked losers, like your mothers were, or are, if still married to them!  Sarah, judging from the actress who played her, was a porker already, like her mother, so her future of trash is mapped out for her! Now, go rot in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          Bitches hardly come any worse than Lori Drew!  It is just a matter of time, before she gets hers, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            What goes around, comes around!

                                                              And stay the hell out of Missouri!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God! Homosexuality (In This Case, Lesbianism!!!!!!!!) Finally Comes To The Legion Of Super-Heroes, As Salu Digby (aka Shrinking Violet!!!!!!!!) Marries Ayla Ranzz (aka Light Lass!!!!!!!)

                          When Green Lantern was finally outed, I was very disappointed.  I had my heart set on Aquaman, who was so hot, with his blond hair, and gold chest from his costume top. But I have to confess I never gave the Legion much thought.

                              I mean, Shrinking Violet and Light Lass??????  At the time I read the Legion's adventures, such a thing was not possible.

                               And Light Lass, if you want to get technical, is damaged goods. She was originally Ayla Ranzz, twin sister of Garth (aka Lightning Lad, the one I wanted to be!!!!!!!!!) and was from, like her brother, the planet Winath.  As they were twins, they both had lightning powers, the ability to project electric bolts from their fingers. And Lightning Lad had the best costume!

                                But, then Dream Girl, who hailed from Naltor (and who knows, maybe had a  thing for Ayla!) began fooling with the science from her world by experimenting on her, rendering her power from lightning, to making things super lightweight. Hence, she became Light Lass.

                                 When did she hook up with Shrinking Violet?  What was the first date like?  How did they know they were attracted to one another???????  I had no idea!

                                     I do have a few ideas about some male Legionaries.  I always thought Mon-El and Ultra Boy would make an excellent couple, and I got gay vibes from both Element Lad (who did dress in pink!) and Matter Eat Lad. Those oral fixations, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      So, who knew?  But I am basing all this on the heroes of my time, whom I preferred in their Sixties costumes.  Let me show you what I mean.

                                                Here is Aquaman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And here is Shrinking Violet!  Check that butch, yet Sixties, career girl hairdo!!!!!!!

                                     Now, here is Light Lass!  Pretty butch, huh???????????

                                 Mon-El and Ultra Boy looked so cute, next to each other!  Like they were meant for each other!  With that Fag Hag, Saturn Girl,(Imra Ardeen!!!!!!!) in the middle.

                                   I was right all along, about Element Lad, darlings; DC has outed him! At least, they made the right choice here!  He is hot!!!!!!!!  And how about that pink????????????????

                                As for Matter Eater Lad, well, hons, I am not going there! But I think he and Element Lad would make a great combo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Love makes the world go round!  Even in the so-called Silver Age of Comics, which I recall so well! 

                                  Better costumes, better everything, than today's age of comics, which is Crappy!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And wouldn't we love to see these couples get into a cat fight?????????

If You Thought Jane Adams Was Going To Liven Up The "Poltergeist" Remake, Guess Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                When I heard that Jane Adams, one of the most hated actors in the profession, was in the remake of "Poltergeist," I had two reactions.  One was sympathy for the cast and crew who had to work with her, because Jane never repeats coworkers twice. And we all know the reason for that--her personality.

                                But if a director, who realizes he is working with Jane for just this one time, and knows it is a limited run, can last, he can guide her into a performance.  I was hoping to see a performance where she goes stark crazy--hell, just film her on set--or flying through the air, like Lili Taylor.

                                  However, the director, Gil Kenan, best known for a piece of crap called "Monster House," has no idea what he is doing, with Jane, or anyone else.  No one in this film compares to anyone in the original.

                                    If you want to see the difference, go on YouTube, and look at the trailer for the 1982 original.  Aside from Dominique's big scene--mentioned in another post--there is the scene where Jo Beth Williams, cries out in anguish, "That thing is in there, with my baby!" and again, "No! No! Don't touch my baby!"  Then she goes through the wall on a rope, and comes out with Carol Anne (the brilliant Heather O'Rourke) covered with what looks like placental jelly, in a sequence symbolizing rebirth.

                                These scenes in the trailer alone had me on the edge of my seat, in ways that the remake did not.  But, then Tobe Hooper, did the original.  The writers have truncated the story, deleting the indictment of capitalist society that helped make the original so compelling and daring.
The cast here is inferior, compared to the original, where Jo Beth Williams and Craig T. Nelson, were the parents, Dominique Dunne, Heather O'Rourke, and  Oliver Robins were the children, not to mention Beatrice Straight, in Jane's role, here called Dr, Lesh (Jane is Dr. Powell), James Karen (known then as the Shop Rite Man) as the sleazy realtor Mr. Teague, and, best of all, Zelda Rubinstein, as Tangina, who almost stole the show.

                                   I remember jumping in my seat, when the tree outside broke through the window, and went after Oliver Robins as Robbie. And how more terrifying the clowns were then, than now!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Some of these characters have been omitted, as has much of the substance the story had, leaving nothing but the audience wandering from one set piece to another, as if on a cheap spook house ride.  The latter I have found to be better.

                                   What has been done to "Poltergeist" is a crime, and it is my job to save you your money from this trash. There is better trash out there.

                                     Like "Serial Thriller--Angel Of Decay," on ID, starting June 7th!  I can't wait for that!!!!!!!!!

                                      Jo Beth, darling, where are you??????????????????/

Anne Was Loved By So Many!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Those theatrical dim bulbs still have not dimmed the Broadway lights, in honor of Elizabeth Wilson. Now, they have Anne Meara, who died on Saturday, May 23, to deal with, for she surely deserves this honor.

                                   I remember when I first became aware of she and her husband, Jerry Stiller.  It was during my junior high or high school years, when they did a series of radio commercials about a wine called--I kid you not!--Blue Nun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     From then, on, they were seen everywhere, and in all media.  As warm and wonderful as she was, she was also a brilliant actress. I can still remember her scary turn as Ida Becker, mother to psychopath, Humphrey, in the 'SVU' episode, "Scavenger," back in 2004.

                                      Who could forget her as Veronica, on "Archie Bunker's Place?"

                                        But my favorite Anne Meara story is a personal one!

                                         Back in the Summer of 1988, I had managed, one night, to get into the hottest ticket at the Delacorte--"Much Ado About Nothing," with Kevin Kline and Blythe Danner!  At intermission, I waxed rhapsodically to a friend, whom I ran into, about Blythe, how I wish we could all wake up, in the morning, and look like her.  From several rows back--I did not realize I had been heard-- came this voice,"Honey, we all do!"  I looked up, and there was Anne!  She smiled at me, and said, "Why do you think I'm here?  Jerry's in the show with her every night!"  We both had a good laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Anne Meara was a sweetheart, and a pro. Her kind is rapidly vanishing, and will be missed. Rest In Peace, Anne!

                                          And get busy, and dim all those damn Broadway lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Faith And Begorra, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now We Can All Fly Over, And See If The Lucky Charms Leprechaun's Charms Really ARE Magically Delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Who would have thought it, dolls?  Ireland has voted in gay marriage, and lot of lads, I can tell you this, are going to be flying over to sample the wares, and get hooked up.

                              The Irish have had it stuck to them, for years. Micks, drunks, homophobes, right wingers, Papists; you name it, they've been called it. Well, all that is now about to change.

                               "Catch my Lucky Charms," the TV leprechaun used to say.  "They're magically delicious.  Which reminds me, there is no such thing as the Irish Curse.  I won't explain what that is, but let's just say this is not true. I once knew an Irisher in college whose last name was Link, and whose nickname was "Link Sausage!!!!!!!!!!!"  Now, I have no proof positive of this, as he did not swing in my direction.  But I heard stories.

                                    Finally, gays can say "It's a great day, for the Irish!"    There just might be an Irish wedding in my future.

                                      You'll be the first to hear, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'll Go Out, The Way I Came In!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                              Good advice to follow, girls, from Miss Helen Lawson, what with the Holiday, and the long exodus back to work commencing once more.  Heaven knows who or what I will find there, but, like Helen, I am not about to be defeated!

                                  What a holiday it was, darlings!  From "Finding Neverland" to "Poltergeist," and that is quite a gap, let me tell you.  As shall be revealed, when I cover the latter!

                                    Are you ready for the Summer, darlings??????????  Well, it's here!  Plant those trees, and make them grow!

                                   And remember, we're all barracudas, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira Wants To Wish Everyone On Here A Happy Memorial Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          He's so big and lovable, and in such a celebratory mood, with his music, even though he recognizes the patriotic solemnity of the day.  He has been around for all those wars, darlings, so he should know!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           And tomorrow, when the Intrepid, and other ships, pull out, ending Fleet Week, Gojira has the honor of proudly leading them all out to sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And you can bet they are thrilled!

                            So, from our house to yours, from myself, my beloved, Goira, Baby Gojira, and Ramsey, a Happy Memorial Day to all.  Whether you barbecue food, or barbecue yourselves, have the merriest of times, as the Summer Season begins.

                              And to remind you all of that, here is Connie Francis, singing, "Where The Boys Are!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               Gojira just loves it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"That's A Switch From The Fags You're Usually Stuck With!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           Now, darlings, why would I mention fags right after Fleet Week?  Could there be any possible connection?  Heh! Heh! Heh!  You better believe it,  hons!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Poor Neely!  She had talent; she just did not have good Gaydar!   If you go to the theater, you cannot help but have it, because every single queen who wants to have a MAN waitin' for him, uses it as his trolling ground.  In addition to being a Theater Queen!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I mean, when Patti Lu Pone was doing "Gypsy" at the St. James, why do you think the line at Intermission to the Men's Room  was longer that the one to the Ladies'???????  And how often does THAT happen, darlings????????????  When Gay Icons play, Theater Queens pay, and they finally learn what straight women go through at Intermission!!!!!!!!!!!  Tit for tat, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               How can I be stuck with fags, when I am one myself?????????  I just love Jackie Susann's sense of humor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 So, when you see those sailors and their escorts trolling about this weekend, be kind!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Look upon it as a precursor to Gay Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And, yeah, I'm gonna marry one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do You Know This Is Fleet Week, Darlings??????????????????

                           With all that has been happening, this week, girls, how could I forget this important bit of information, and our patriotic duty of bringing home a sailor for a home cooked meal!!!!!!!  Like the song in "Funny Girl" says, "A bit of dinner never hurt, but guess who is gonna be desert???????"

                               "On The Town" is currently on Broadway, so it is a no brainer as to which show to take these sailors to see   Though some of them may prefer more "recreational activities" in the steam room, at the nearest gym.  Bet those saunas are filled now, hons!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                And don't forget coffee for breakfast, on the Morning After!

                                 A sailor goes great with coffee!  Or is it the other way around??????????

As Betsy Palmer, As Mrs. Voorhees, Said, "I'M Not Afraid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     Why, in heaven's name, you may ask, would I begin a posting about the musical, "Finding Neverland," with a quote from "Friday, The 13th," when the two are not even remotely connected?  Because, darlings, I am not afraid, of being in the minority, saying what I am about to say.

                                       I loved this show!

                                        When it opened, on April 15, even I was skeptical.  In a posting back then, I questioned if the film's most lyrical sequence--Barrie's imaginary vision of bound for bedtime boys flying gracefully out the nursery window-- could be duplicated!!!!!!!!!!  Well, I am here to say, it is, and superbly!!!!!!!!!!

                                          This show has been a critic's scourge, but the audience seems to be turning out in droves.  I had no idea what I was in for, as my beloved and I walked into the Lunt-Fontanne for a Wednesday matinee; I honestly feared the worst.

                                            The show is not perfect, by any means, but I think the biggest problem the critics had with it, goes back to a quote attributed to Kelly Bishop, back in the days of "A Chorus Line."  When her mother was about to see the show, Kelly explained to her, "Now, you have to understand, it's highly theatricalized."  and that is the case with "Finding Neverland;" it forces the audience to use its imagination, rather than do the work for them.  Yes, folks are on wires, from time to time, but the sequence in question I mentioned earlier, is done simply by actors propelling the boys through space by hand.  You see the flying with your imagination.  That is brilliant.  Who would have thought Diane Paulus had it in her?

                                              Two problems the show has is the music and dancing are, at times , out of step with the period.  This is not true so much in the smaller numbers, as in the larger.  And Matthew Morrison, as J.M. Barrie, darlings, was cheated out of a TONY nomination.  In his first act finale, "Stronger," he demonstrates a vocal and dramatic presence worthy of taking on a role like Jean Valjean!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But the bigger numbers, both musically and physically, lose their way with the time period, resorting to standard Broaway-ese.  You don't want to see Michael Bennett "Chorus Line" steps in the Edwardian age!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            I wondered how "Finding Neverland" would balance the light and dark of the material; or even if it would omit the latter, softening it.  That has not been done, but the darkness is made palatable for sensitive audience members by more stunning theatricality.  And that is all I am going to say!

                                             I cried real tears, darlings!  But they were tears of joy, rather than tears of regret at being forced to sit through another turkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I guess that's what audiences got  at "Doctor Zhivago."

                                              I have to admit, I was not sure "Finding Neverland" would find its way.  But it does!

                                              And I am not afraid to say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Switch To The Less Culturally Elite, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Poor Dominique Dunne.  Once a promising actress, she was murdered by a psycho ex-boyfriend, before she had a chance to hit her prime!  As if that were not bad enough, now some filmmakers have come along to redo one of Dominique's signature films, "Poltergeist," made originally in 1982.  Now, I have not seen it yet, girls, but I promise I will, because how can this film compare to the version made a generation earlier, with a now perfect cast, right down to tiny Zelda Rubinstein???????????

                             But back to Dominique!  My favorite moment, in the entire movie, pictured here, is when she, as the teenage daughter, arrives at the possessed house, gets out of a car, and hysterically screams,"Whaaaaaaaaat's haaaaaaaaaapening???????"  You can bet, darlings, that that Summer, her statement became a mantra, one that I still dig out, every now and then, myself!!!!!!!!!!  The main reason--possibly the only one--I have for seeing this remake is to see whether this moment will be duplicated, or simply omitted???????  On one hand, no one did it better than Dominique!!!!!!!!  But, on the other, how could this classic moment not be included?????????  And what actress will have the honor of doing it???????  Will she have the promise of Dominique????????  I doubt it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Rest assured, girls, I will give you a full report, when I see the film, sometime this weekend!!!!!!!  But the crust, to remake it, I am telling you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Is nothing sacred????????????

                                So much for falling off the cultural abyss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All Talking!!!!!!!!!!! All Blythe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                When I first heard about this film I rejoiced!  A film, carried solidly on Blythe Danner's shoulders!  How exciting for those of us who are fans of this gifted, but rather underrated and underused, actress.  Better than her daughter, I can tell you!

                                    But, when I heard Rhea Perlman and Mary Kay Place were in it, as sidekicks, I had to wonder--is this going to be some schlock woman's comedy?  Because the word from the film festivals had been that this role might net Blythe an Oscar nomination!  And I am here to tell you, darlings, it should!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     "I'll See You In My Dreams" is touching in the best possible way.  Funny and insightful, the film follows Carol Petersen (Blythe) on a journey of sadness to acceptance.  That may be understating things somewhat, but the convergence of plot and mood is what makes the film work.  I have no idea who this director, Brett Haley, is, but he is to be commended for keeping a fine focus on the entire enterprise, from a story that could easily degenerate to schlock in lesser hands, as well as working with one of the profession's most restrained actress, and coupling her with some of the most unrestrained (Rhea Perlman, Mary Kay Place, and Sam Elliott) actors out there.  But it all works out; they reign it in beautifully, and even the relationship that develops between Carol and  Bill (Sam Elliott) works, even though, in many ways, it should not.  In an odd way, each character and performance complements the other.

                                    Then there is Martin Starrr, a young actor with a future, as a young twenty to thirty something pool cleaner named Lloyd, who, despite their ages, is drawn to Blythe.  There is no "Tea And Sympathy" here, darlings, but you can hardly blame Lloyd for being attracted to Carol!!!!!!!!   I mean, it's Blythe Danner, for God's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Starr's scenes are so seamless it is hard to tell whether his acting is being guided by director Haley, or by Blythe herself!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      One thing to be learned from this film--girls, if you are older, and want a man, you can get one, but you better look like Blythe Danner!  Blythe's look in this film--the hat, the hair, the jackets, is going to be this Summer's fashion look, and a lot of us are going to be trying to look like her!  You better believe I will!

                                     But this is undermining what is a very fine film made by a promising director, with a promising newcomer (Starr) and finally giving a renowned actress a long overdue role she can sink her acting chops into!  In that understated, Blythe Danner way, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Rock on, Blythe!  But, see this film, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What If A Woman Had Written "A Separate Peace????????????"

                                   This thought kept racing through my mind as I read Amber Dermont's genre linked novel, "The Starboard Sea."  The Prep School Novel has become almost a kind of genre in itself, since John Knowles first patented it, back in 1959 or 1960.  And even though Dermont's plot points cover some familiar ground--the deaths hinted at, the reader can almost guess their cause--the kind of sexual ambiguity that characterized Knowles' book, or say, Robbert Anderson's "Tea And Sympathy," is missing, because this is the Millennial Age, baby, and Dermont is going to tell it like it was!  In some ways, I wish she hadn't.  I knew what was coming.  But when it  does, it does with a vengeance.  So, if you have any intentions of reading this book--and I recommend you do--then stop reading this post right here!

                                   The reader knows early on that Jason Prosper, the protagonist, is haunted by the suicide death of his friend, Cal.  He arrives one home one night, and finds him hanging from a beam in the room they share. Living through someone's suicide is painful--I personally know this--so it is no wonder Jason ends up at another prep school.  How could he bear to stay there?

                                    But Jason is hung up on Cal in more ways than one.  He is tormented not only by his death, but the feeling that he caused it, revealed in a brutal scene, when Cal comes out to Jason, with feelings any reader, by this point, know both boys have for one another.  Except Jason is not yet ready to face them, and so he brutally, and homophobically rapes Cal, destroying whatever feelings of beauty the poor Cal might have had about their potential relationship.  The scene is hateful, and before the reader goes hating Jason, let me assure you, he pays.  He pays, in more ways than one.

                                    Prior to the violent rape, when Cal is speaking honestly to Jason, he  mentions something that touched me personally.  He says how Jason is lucky, because he can "pass," and Cal can't. What Cal means is that Jason, more than he, can pass for being straight, and, because of this, the world is kinder to those gays who can.  My personal experience, right down to the very job I do, is an illustration of this point, and shows how keenly insightful Miss Dermont is as a writer.

                                     If there was ever a more tormented figure than Jason Prosper, I would be hard pressed to say.  When he becomes involved with iconoclast classmate Aidan (a female), their association almost leads to her death, which turns out to be a murder disguised as a suicide, and something the girl knew was meant for Jason, for a boating accident in which he almost killed another classmate. Except  Aidan goes in his place, dying a death that should have been his.

                                    Yes, I know it seems piled on.  But with all this and the Black Monday stock market crash of 1987, Amber Dermont keeps everything focused.  Jason has a hard road ahead of him; I would not want to have go through life, living with what he has.  But the novel is so compelling, the characters so well drawn, that the reader becomes involved; I found myself wondering what would become of Jason in the years following this story.  I hope he finds peace.

                                    Dermont's novel may be full of genre conventions, but she does have a future as a writer.  With all that has gone before, she closes with one of the most beautiful closing sentences in literature.  It took my breath away and made my weep.

                                      But you have to read the entire, book, dears, to get its full meaning!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, We Have GOT to Talk About The Season Finale Of 'SVU'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         This scene was not featured in the final episode, broadcast the other night, but I have used it to illustrate that the finale of Season 16 gave some of us--especially I, dears--what we have wanted for along time.  Danny Pino, as Nick Amaro, is finally leaving the show.

                         He should have left it after the first season, because no one--absolutely no one--can replace Chris Meloni as Elliot Stabler--a fact this episode demonstrated as well--plus Pino's lack of acting chops made his portrayal of Nick Amaro  really not that  much different from his rendering of Scotty Valens on "Cold Case."  I have been screaming to the show, and its writers, to let him go, and they finally listened.  When he got shot, I thought he would be let go by death, but, mercifully, they spared him.  That may have been a mistake, not for Pino/Amaro, but for a scene with Olivia.

                          That was a monologue, delivered by Mariska Hargitay, as Olivia, near the end of the show.  While saying farewell to Amaro, she gives this big spiel about how he has helped her grow!!!!!!!!  Like, what???????   Then--and this has got a lot of folks on Dick Wolf's case, right now, and deservedly so! --she devotes at least half of the monologue to dissing Elliot!!!!!!!!!!!!   Mariska, you bitch!  How could you work alongside Chris for twelve years, and then consent to do this????????  I blame you as much as I do the writers and Dick Wolf!!!!!!!!!  If I were Chris Meloni, not only would I be royally pissed, but I would also go about seeking a lawyer, so I could sue!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           And this show has been renewed for a seventeenth season?????????  Why??????????  I mean, I love Kelli Giddish as Amanda Rollins, and Raul Esparza as ADA Rafael Barba, though he is no Stephanie March, and of course, Robert John Burke, as Lt. Ed Tucker from Internal Affairs, is the hottest thing going; even hotter than Peter Scanavino as Dominick "Sonny Carisi, Jr., who, from Day One, I knew would eventually replace Pino, and thank God he has!

                            But,after the disgrace perpetrated on Meloni/Elliot the other night, I think it is time to retire this dead horse.  And I am not the only one.  In the final scene, where they are all "acting" as a family--which is bullshit--the final shot is of the child actor playing Noah.  He looks around the room, with uncertainty, as if he is not sure the show will, or should , go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             This kid may only be a toddler, but, I am telling you, he is smart!!!!!!!!!!  He has a future in show business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Unlike Mr. Pino!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look Whom I Am Having Lunch With, Tomorrow, At Sardi's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            There are lunches, and there are lunches!  I had to clear my schedule this week for this one, darlings, because I can tell you it will one be helluva ride!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Tomorrow, at Sardi's, I am having lunch with Diane Sawyer, Condoleezza Rice, and Rip Taylor!  What a trio!  Talk about triplets!  We will probably drink triplets of everything!

                                The one I am worried most about is that Condoleezza Rice!  Oh, she is a sly one!  She may not have given Berry Gordy blow jobs in the back seat, like that other bitch, Miss Diana Ross, but you just know there is something behind that frozen plasticity of hers!

                                 Which is why a few drinks with Rip will loosen her up!  I can't wait to see what happens when we all get smashed!  What kind of questions will Miss Sawyer ask me, then, I wonder!  Or maybe she'll let Rip go down on her, under the table, like Anatole Litvak and Paulette Godard in Chasen's, back in the 1940's!  Like the saying goes, everything old is new again, so who knows???????????

                                 If only Elaine Stritch

 could join us!  Then it would truly be "The Ladies Who Lunch!"


                                  Can't wait to report back to you, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, We Are The Last Of The Belters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Forget about BARBRA, girls; her day is gone!!!!!!!!!!!  In an era where music is becoming as pasteurized and processed as cheese spread--call it audio Cheez Whiz!!!!!!!!!--there are not too many of us belters left.

                         It's LIZA, Lady Gaga, and myself, hons!!!!!!!!!!!!  Even though I am still struggling with Maggie's Crescendo in "At The Ballet," when I hold that final "same" on "She Touched Me!" and "know" on "Now That I've Seen Her," from "Miss Saigon!" I know I still have it!  I know Helen Lawson would kick me out of h er show!!!!!!!!

                         Belting become has a lost art, darlings, but so many composers today do not know how to write for us!!!!!!!!  So, we keep falling back on their predecessors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Hey, it's not like I haven't been called a dinosaur, before!  Believe me, when I tell you!  But I take a certain amount of pride in being the Last Of The Belters!!!!!!!!!!!"  Hey, LIZA, Gaga and I can sit around, have lunch, drink, and still do a chorus of "Nowadays!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            I wish I had  some YouTube offerings of my belting to display.  Not to fear, hons, that day is coming!  Like the Apocalypse!  Maybe the former will cause the latter!

                              BABS, you're history!  Now, get outta my way, 'cause I got a MAN waiting for me!!!!!!!!!!!

Box Office Bitches Return, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Some of you may recall the going over I gave the box office attendant art the Lyceum Theatre, two Sundays ago, when simply asking about Donna McKechnie, and "The Visit."  She was an inexcusable horror, but she did not merit being named Bitch of The Week.  However, the box office staff of the SONY Lincoln Square Theatre do, and so, collectively, they are this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.  I think I am going to end this post--and I am telling you this, right now!!!!!!!--with Rex Harrison singing "Why Can't The English?" from "My Fair Lady," because, when it comes right down to it, this is what it's all about.  And what I am about to report is not the first time--at this theater--this has happened!!!!!!!!!!

                         On Tuesday afternoon, I planned to meet my elegant friend, Chris, to see the new Blythe Danner movie, "Ill See You In My Dreams."  (Which is a MUST SEE, but I will save that for another post!!!!!!!!!!!).  We had planned to go to the 2PM showing, and I got there a little before one-thirty. So, I decided to go to the box office, and  purchase the tickets, saving us both time and effort.

                            I asked for "two tickets to the two o'clock screening of 'I'll See You In My Dreams," and that is when all hell broke loose.

                            No one at the box-office understood the word "screening."  The first time this happened, and now I cannot remember the film, I was upset, because I thought I had gotten the theater, or the time mixed up.  The first incident happened so long ago, I blocked it out, which says how long it has been since I was at this theater, because it happened again.  I used the word "screening." and I got responses like "We don't have screenings!" or "We only have screenings in the evenings!"  The first time, I was incredulous!  The second time, I recalled the last time and used the simpler word "movie."  Then I got the tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            This has never happened to me at any other movie theater in Manhattan.  Which is why the SONY Lincoln Square wins this week's Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!  But, what I want to know is--who are these dumb bozos working there, the moron who hires them, and what dumbbell is their supervisor????????  Because I have got a few words to say to ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Learn the English language morons!  Otherwise you will lose customers!!!!!!!!!

                            No wonder so many Europeans think Americans are dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            However, Rex Harrison, with some help from Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Lowe, made the point with more cognizance than I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Listen!

 

"Little Bread And Butterflies Kiss The Tulips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             I have been doing a lot of thinking about alternate realities, lately--no, I have NOT been taking LSD; I never did!!!!!!!!!!!--and my mind keeps coming back to "Alice In Wonderland!"

                              Disney's 1951 animated film of it was always my favorite of all his animated films!  "Pinocchio" may have been more artistic, but 'Alice' was awash with colors!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, look at hat hair and dress!  I wanted that look, when I was a child!  It probably contributed to me later wanting to be Roberta!!!!!!!!!

                              Let's face it, darlings, reality can be a bitch!  And all of us have our escape mechanisms.  I may not be able to travel down that rabbit hole like Alice--I would get stuck and have to be pulled out--but I can read her adventures anytime I want and live vicariously that way.  It's still better than drugs!  Except for klonopin!!!!!!!!!!

                               But as our age gets more technological, darlings, reality becomes more blurred, until I am not sure what is real, and what is not!!!!!!!!!  For instance, all these reality shows--The REAL Wives Of Jersey, New Orleans, Beverly Hills, wherever!!!!!!!!!!"  And how about those Atlanta hairdressers; the Boss Bitches????????????  Is this reality?  I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It has gotten to the point what is marketed and fabricated as reality, gets believed to be such!  In which case, give me Oz, Neverland, or Wonderland, any day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The realities which our culture keeps pushing tend toward the most negative aspects of human behavior--aggression, fighting, and violence--and who wants to live in a world like that?  Obviously, people out there need to read William Golding's "Lord Of The Flies!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               Which is why I find myself longing for Lewis Carroll and Alice.  Remember Celia Keenan-Bolger;'s show stopping entrance and exit as Laura, in Broadway's recent "Glass Menagerie," where she crawls out of and into the chair, back into her own reality?????????????

                                 Think of me like that, dolls!  When not with you, I have crawled back into my own reality!  And I am staying there!

                                  Like Alice!

                                  Just listen to this, and you will understand!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Just Love Stephanie Harker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Ah, Stephanie!  She really is something, girls!  She was featured on the  "Law And Order" episode, "True North,"which was aired back in 1998.  She was portrayed by Bellamy Young, in a spot on performance.  Now, I don't know what has happened to Bellamy since, but, after watching her as Stephanie, I can say, with certainty, this is one of her signature roles!

                           Stephanie's story is that of a girl from the Wrong Side Of The Tracks gone bad!  She is proof that Goat Alley does not just exist in Highland Park, New Jersey, but in almost every small town in America.  Which includes Canada, where Stephanie happens to be from.  She is proof positive that if someone tries to claw their way out of Goat Alley, they can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Bad things happen to those who try!

                            You see, Stephanie Harker was really just plain Steffie Stevens, from the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.  Her father ran a souvenir shop/kiosk, and Stephanie resented her origins, and watching the rich American tourists exploit her father.  She began to feel like trash, which she was, but wouldn't accept it.
So, she became obsessed with fame and movie magazines.  Now, let me stop here a minute; how many of us have done the same, darlings?  But we don't go on to became sociopathic serial; killers.  But that's what the mags did, fueled Stephanie's internal rage and resentment, till it exploded.  When she reached young womanhood, and was working for her father--hey, she had a job!!!!!!-- she met a man from New York, Benjamin Harker, a wealthy businessman, who became smitten with her.  I think they played around, and next thing Stephanie wants a ring, the townhouse, Manhattan, the whole Magilla!!!!!!!!!!  She should have read "Valley Of The Dolls!!!!!!!"  Instead, she takes a car, and runs down Harker's wife, while in Canada.  Next thing, she is in New York, and eases her way into Harker's life.  But, too late; both he and Stephanie find out that, with her Goat Alley origins, she does not fit!  I mean, her husband got one of his friends' wives to invite her to their book group.  They were reading "Emma" by Jane Austen, (one of MY faves, darlings!!!!!!!) but would you believe Stephanie never heard of Jane Austen???????????  What dumb trash!!!!!!!!!!!   When she got on the defense stand, and said "Jane Austen--what does that matter?" I lost it with Miss Stephanie!  Send this trash bitch off to the slammer!  She should have been arrested for knocking Jane Austen alone!

                        Stephanie was some manipulator.  Knowing her husband was planning on divorcing her, she got a friend, Doris Nichols, to kill both him and his daughter!  His daughter!  Her stepdaughter!  An innocent child!!!!!!!!!!!   Then, she kills Doris, and flees to Canada, where her father finally tells her that if she had just been content with being Steffie Stevens, none of this would have happened.  He was right!  Because, with her manipulative skills, Stephanie, had she applied them correctly, might have turned that kiosk into a business empire!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Finally, she is brought back to New York, and made to pay.  The speech she gives on the stand wouldn't melt butter.  She must have thought she was playing Cassie in "A Chorus Line," as she keeps pleading for " a chance," in order to avoid the death penalty!  But no one buys Stephanie's act!  She has used them all her material up!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       So, off to the slammer and execution she goes!  Which is why they could never bring back Bellamy as Stephanie!

                       But the Goat Alley thing still holds!  There is no escaping!  The garbage of that place will always follow the person fleeing, and their behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         A lesson Stephanie never learned!  But what a perp!  One of the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer Is Coming! I Have To Get Out My Lilly Pulitzer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Darlings, wouldn't I look fabulous, in this dress????????  The colors are perfect!  That is one thing I like so much about Summer; you can wear bright colors, which I am, by nature, drawn to.  Maybe I should live in a mire tropical climate--New Orleans would be my choice--but the only problem with that is my body cannot take the heat, my skin could not tolerate the sun, and, if I were to go South, I am not going to live in some wreck!  Because the only place for a queen, let alone a Raving one, is a plantation!  That's right, darlings, a plantation!  Like Tara!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      But then, how could I stay away so long from the town that practically bred me--New York City?  I mean, ANNA, MERYL, BLYTHE, are all here, not to mention Jessie Mueller, Judy Kuhn, Jason Danieley and others, so how could I turn my back on this town?  And all of you, my faithful darlings????????????????

                                       So, not to fear!  But I have got to get my hands on some Lilly Pulitzer!  She and I are on the same page, when it comes to colors, and some of the stuff in my closet is a bit faded!  I mean, can you believe that??????????  I see some shopping ahead of me, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I want to wear my Lilly Pulitzer, when I go see Lily Rabe!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Wouldn't it be a hoot, darlings, if she walked out on stage, as Imogen--and we were both wearing the same dress???????????????

                                          Dreams do sometimes come true, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Lily Rabe Play "Cymbeline" As Misty Day??????????????

                      Girls, I just found out the schedule at the Delacorte.  A week from tonight, "The Tempest" opens, with Sam Waterston (aka Jack McCoy) as Prospero, which makes me wonder who will be his Miranda????????  And don't forget Ariel, the friendly sprite!!!!!!!  Will it be staged Elizabethan style, or will they resort to the Fifties inter-galactic atmosphere, of Forbidden Planet?"

                      But the real question on everyone's mind deals with Lily Rabe in "Cymbeline."  When it comes to popularity, this is far from the Top Ten of the Bard's repertoire, but it seems to get revived more times than can be counted.  If I had seen every single production of "Cymbeline" staged, since I first arrived in New York, the total would be somewhere near thirty!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Of course Lily is going to be the drawing card of this "Cymbeline," thanks top her popularity on "American Horror Story."  But not to fear; she is beautiful, brilliant, and will speak the verse beautifully!!!!!!!!

                         But how will she play Imogen???????????  Theater Queens, and The Raving Queen, are wondering if she will play her as Misty Day, since Lily is so closely identified with her.  You have to admit, darlings, it would give a new flavor to "Cymbeline," and I am sure no one there, even Bard purists, would object, if, at some point in the proceedings, Lily took center stage, and delivered her own, spirited rendition of "Rhiannon!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I am telling you, dolls, the audience would go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          And theater managers love crazy audiences, because they sell tickets!  So, while I cannot guarantee any of this will happen, let's just say I am going to keep my eyes open on Lily in "Cymbeline."  I plan to be there, because Lily is, well...LILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I bet you MERYL will be there, too!  If I am lucky, we will be there the same night!  And next to each other, for some Girl Gab!!!!!!!!!!

                           We love you, Lily!!!!!!!!!!!  Cannot wait to see you as Imogen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Not to be confused with Imogene Coca, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who Is Today's Luigi????????????????

                         Or, better yet, is there one???????????

                         Once upon a time , darlings, performers knew things.  They knew to study acting with Uta or Lee.  Or Austin (Pendelton) who is till going at it.

                         Back in the late Seventies, when "Runaways" moved up from The Public, to become a Broadway success, and Trini Alvarado was stopping the show, nightly, with "Lullaby From Baby To Baby," everyone then knew she studied and tap and jazz with Phil Black.  I was just a fragile thing in my twenties, then, but I kept telling my parents I was going to run away to New York, and study tap and jazz with Phil Black.  They knew I liked my creature comforts.

                        Three years earlier, during the "Chorus Line" frenzy, when everyone, including yours truly, worshiped at the feet of the celebrated Original Cast, we all knew that people like Donna, Kelly and Priscilla, studied with Luigi!!!!!!!!!!!!  In fact, until just very recently--he passed away on April 7, at the age of 90--everyone of any note in dance was studying with Luigi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Now, with Luigi, actually gone, who is his equivalent today?  I mean, in the post-"Chorus Line" post-millennial age that I knew we would eventually arrive at, and have, I had thought people would be studying with Kelly, or Donna, or Priscilla!!!!!!!!!  Now, Donna does do a Musical Theater Audition class sometimes, down at HB Studios, which I have got to do, one of these days, but Kelly and Priscilla, while vociferous speakers of everything Dance, do not teach.

                          So, when one wants to learn and stretch, for physical as well as professional benefit, as I do, whom does one go to?????????  If any of you out there dance, and can tell me whom you would consider the Luigi of today, well. like the song says in "Frank Mills," "I would gratefully appreciate it."

                            Remember what Martha Scott, standing in for Lucia Chase, in "The Turning Point," said--"Tradition is continuity, and continuity is tradition!"

                              But who is around now, to enforce this???????????????????????