Can You Believe That Is It For September????????????????

                                  Tyler Clementi......"Frank Mills"......."The King And I...." Labor Day....Like the song says, "Where are those sweet Septembers?"  They go so fast!

                                    This one seemed to go faster than others.  I cannot believe it is the 30th already, and that tomorrow starts October!   The month I have to go to the dentist!!!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It was a sizzling September this year, darlings, that Global Warming thing is still giving us grief?  What ever to Summer's end, and the cooling down?  Oh, well, we have Indian Summer sometime in October, and then maybe the Long Winter Of Our Discontent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Nine months!  Enough to have a baby!  Any takers?????????

                                    May October be as good to all of you, as September was!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    See you next month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Liza Be Seen With Beyonce At Burger King???????????????????

                             Of course she will, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  Listen, her days of Studio 54 are well behind her--hell, that place is well behind all of us--and Liza is so desperate to be seen anywhere that if Beyonce appears at a Burger King, in--God forbid--Northern Boulevard in Queens, she will be there!!!!!!!!

                               And she will chow down on all that Beyonce eats!  Listen, Liza ate a Snickers from Carol Channing, when she got out of prison, so come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Then the two of them will go shopping at J, C. Penney.

                                  Before the store goes extinct, like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ralph Lauren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What Are We Going To Do??????????????????????????

                         Girls, I swear to God, I almost burned my throat, swallowing my coffee this morning, upon discovering that Ralph Lauren--my own personal designer!!!!!!!!!--is stepping down as CEO!!!!!!!!!

                            I mean, what am I going to have to do? Start wearing Kenneth Cole? or Karl Lagerfeld?????????

                              For decades, I have perused clothing racks in stores, especially Lauren's creations, waiting to hear that distinctive voice in my head, which says, "Michael, look what I have created for you," which tells me exactly what to buy!!!!!!!!!!!  And my choices have always been satisfying, tasteful and elegant!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                But, now all that is to change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                And who is this  Stefan Larson?????????  Some Swede thing who was once an H and M exec, and former president of Old Navy!!!!!!!!!!!!  Old Navy??????????  Do you think I would wear any of that crap????????  Doesn't this Larson guy realize he is stepping into the world of haute couture??????????  Or is he going to bring it down to the level of the lower middle classes???????????

                                I know Ralph is going to stick around. I hope he is not ill!

                                But, my God, does ANNA  know about this??????? Someone call her, at once!!!!!!!!!  What is going to become of fashion??????????  What do you think New York City is run on??????????????????

                                 Save us, ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

"The Poor Cannot Wear Couture," According To "Scream Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     This was the central message of last night's episode, delivered, of course, by Emma Roberts as Chanel Oberlin.  I cannot say I agree, though there are some who should not wear such.  But it has more to do with class and bearing than financial solubility.

                                      Also, the Red Devil is still stealing the show.  He seems to be popping all over the place, in various guises, to keep us guessing who the killer actually is!  But mark my words, darlings, I am convinced it is Jamie Lee Curtis!!!!!!!!!!!  Think of the irony--the show's title and the killer turning out to be one of filmdom's most noted Scream Queens!  What could be better than that?????????

                                       Talk about not wearing couture, Lea Michele exemplified that!  Her makeover was a failure!  Put the neck brace back on, and stop reducing her to a fifth rate Rachel Berry!  Who was third rate, on "Glee!"

                                         Besides, which she is so damn ugly!  And untalented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, It Is No Easy Job, Being A Vampire Witch Princess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Of course, it one has the magnetic eyes of Barbara Steele, then it is possible. But for the rest of us, it is nigh impossible. However, even Barbara, while playing Princess Asa in the 1960 Mario Bava classic, "Black Sunday" knew not to leave home without here black liquid eye liner=-even if the occasion is her execution. Same with the hair; look at that cream rinse, it is perfect!

                                  And don't forget a nice, white, wraparound gown! Vintage Diane Von Furstenberg! Perfect for any occasion, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Not that we want to hang out with serfs of the Devil, like that Igor Javuto!!!!!!!!!  He was no prize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And you can be Asa will bring her beauty reticule with her, as she destroys throughout the nights of time?  But what will she do about that skeletal chest?  No breast enhancement for the undead, I guess.

                                     I can tell you who is a descendant of the House Of Vajda. That creature of the night, Frankenstein's Daughter, (or Granddaughter) who prowls the streets of Bay Ridge, satiating her appetite with the blood of its most innocent children.

                                   Like Asa, she is trouble.  If you want to be Witch Royalty, I suggest the Mayfairs.  They are Catholic, and they go to church

                                     And save the following speech for your retirement  dinner, darlings!!!!!!!!!
Ha!Ha!Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Cute Divertissement, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     "The Intern" turned out to be the movie I was not expecting.  The poster, and trailer, suggested it was Anne Hathaway's turn to play "The Devil Wears Prada," with she playing the micromanaging boss, to Robert De Niro's laid back intern.  Instead, it turns out to be something else.  It is also sweet to the point of being cloying.

                                        I should have known from the start; I mean, it was directed by Nancy Meyers.  Anne Hathaway plays Jules Osin, who would like to be her generation's Anna Wintour, but just can't cut it.  Robert De Niro plays Ben, a 70-year-old widower, who, with his savvy, shows her that she can--and how!  It's all so charming and predictable that, after reading a bitch fest like "The Knockoff," it was almost refreshing; it was refreshing seeing Anne Hathaway have fun with a role, after the dark turn she took as Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       We go from a shot of seniors in a park doing Tai  Chi in a park--where it ends, as well,  In between, De Niro's Ben imparts his hard earned wisdom to Hathaway, and her cheating house spouse, played as a slacker Franzen type, by Anders Holm.

                                          In just two brief scenes, one at a funeral, where she says nary a word, Linda Lavin manages to steal the show.  It is too bad the movie did not have more of her nastiness; it could have used it.  Oh, and from now on, when you want the voice of a nagging mother, call Mary Kay Place. She performs the same job here as she did six years before, in "Julie and Julia."

                                           The Park Slope settings, the Brooklyn ambiance....it is all so comfortable and predictable it is like getting too  much candy at one time.  "The Intern" needed some edginess to it--De Niro is certainly capable of that--to make it more than just the imperfect (unlike the perfect of Vincente Minnelli) confection it so desperately wants to be.

                                               But, then, again, girls, it is Nancy Meyers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exciting News For Theater Queens And Mavens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           "A Chorus Line" has not stopped generating excitement, since it first opened, at the Public Theatre, back in 1975.  Here I am, forty years later, and, as far as I am concerned, that excitement has never stopped.

                                  So, it is thrilling to know that a 40th Anniversary Cast Recording of this classic will be released on October 23.  Newly re-mastered,  and with eight bonus tracks.

                                    You will get the show, as is.  For the first time the Montage of "Hello, Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love," will be heard, with Cameron Mason's and Baayork Lee's parts.  I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      But for pure gold there will be featured demo tracks by Marvin Hamlisch, and Ed Kleban of stuff that never made it to the final show, such as--

                                          "It's All In Here"
                                          "I Can Do That"
                                         "At The Ballet"--with Marvin and Ed playing and singing, you will hear the masterwork for the first time the way the Original Cast Members did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                         "Sing!"
                                         "Joanne"--a song for Wayne Cilento's character, Mike, that was cut.
                                         "Shoes"--another cut song
                                        "One"--a raw version
                                        "Finale Ballad"--which morphed into "What I Did For Love"

                                    This will be the  definitive recording of the show to own, darlings!  You know I will  be picking up mine three weeks from Thursday!  Be there, or be square!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jimmy Olsen Is Gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Be careful what you wish for, darlings.  For those of us growing up in the Fifties and Sixties, Jack Larson WAS Jimmy Olsen on "Superman."  He somewhat resembled the young, up-and-coming redhead reporter in the DC Comic, and he was cute, to boot.  What he didn't know, when he took the role that he would be typecast for life. Such was the power of television, then.

                                     His friend, Montgomery Clift, advised him not to take the role, or, at least, not to do more than a season.  But it was too good to turn down. When the show came to a halt, in 1958, Larson, like so many talented folk, could not get work. He had been typecast.

                                     Larson was also gay at a time when things weren't as easy as they are now. He and his partner of 35 years, James Bridges, remained together, until his death in 1993.

                                        Like so many, he reinvented himself, becoming a writer and playwright of note.  But he was never able to shake off Jimmy Olsen.  He died on September 20 of this year, apparently of natural causes, at the age of 87!

                                           You will always be Jimmy to so many of us Jack. But this obit salutes your other talents, as well.

                                              Rest In Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Hackathons Go The Way Of Dance Marathons??????????????

                            It is hard to tell, but, then, just about everything with "thon" in it has gone.  I mean, Jerry Lewis no longer does the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon, and dance marathons have been outre for years.  I wish they would come back, because I just love the idea of them.  Just like I loved the idea of Roseland.  It's kind of like Liza Minnelli.  She's so out, she's in!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I can't say the same for hackathons, the latest thon of the day.  I am furiously blogging on a computer right now, so I am not exactly anti-technology.  But, why would I want to do this in a roomful of other people, with no privacy to myself, where my ideas might be, at the very least appropriated, with people who have no concept of life outside this sphere, and would think "Clarissa" is not a novel by Samuel Richardson, but a code word for the female sex organ?????????????????

                              For something so modern, it sounds so medieval.  Not far from Clyde Fitch, but in distinctly modern way.  Has anyone been to one of these things?  Or participated in them??????  If so, please explain to me what the value of it all is, because, right now, as I see it, it is just one big bed of mass confusion, designed to lessen the thought processes in a situation where they should be required to the max!!!!!!!!!!

                              Sure, I took the SAT's and GRE's in a situation and setting similar to this.  But that was then, this is now!!!!!!!!!  Besides, then we were all trying to make ourselves into something for our futures, often with a humanitarian bent; not just into venture capitalists like Eve Morton, who cannot recognize the English language, because they can only talk in code!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Read my lips--I want no part of it!  Give me my computer, my coffee, and some privacy.

                              I don't want to hang out with a bunch of hacks-soon-to-be-has beens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              You won't hear Bonnie Bedelia sing "The Best Things In Life Are Free" at one of these!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skin Tags, #Hashtags, What's The Difference??????????????????

                               Remember the childhood urban legend about the little boy, whose mother sent him to the store, for napkins?????????  He came back with the wrong kind, and said, "Feminine napkins, masculine napkins; what's the difference?"

                              He, like me, must have been seduced by the multicolored box of FEMS, which was popular in my day.  It had a bright yellow box, and rainbow flower petals on the cover.  When I could still fit into the cart seat--so I was REALLY young--I sneaked a box into the cart.  My mother had a fit when she unloaded the groceries at the register.  I didn't understand why we could not take them home!  The box was so pretty.  Besides, I didn't want what was in the box.  I just wanted the box to keep, because it was so colorful.  What did I care what was inside?????????????

                              It is the same with skin tags, and hashtags.  I have more of the former than the latter.  I find this out, every time I visit my dermatologist.  As for hashtags, well, there is corned beef hash, there are hash browned potatoes, but, to me, hashtags are like FEMS--what difference does it make?????????????

                               I know that if I actually took the time to master all this, I could be one of the top ten technobitches.  Not like Eve Morton in Lucy Sykes' book--God forbid--but, I am telling you, look out!  What those so caught up in all this techno frenzy don't seem to realize is that the more they master, the more time is spent on sites apps, and with gadgetry, and the less time is spent reading, socializing with actual people, aiding further in the dehumanizing effect which is technology's underlying, Orwellian agenda.

                              It's not like this stuff is not here to stay, although no one can say for how long.  Something will come along to replace all this.  And sooner than any of us think.  But don't let the mastery of all this get in the way of true individuality.  I am arguing for humanity, not the elimination of technology.

                               Which means, just because there are hashtags out there, don't overlook the possibility of heating up a can of Broadcast Corned Beef Hash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do You Feel Like You're The Office Dinosaur?????????????????

                               People say it happens around 40.  But what if one is 50??????  Or even 60????????

                               As stated earlier, back in my youth, there was no such thing as the Office Dinosaur.  Now, with Tweeting, texting, and what all, anyone who doesn't give a damn about any of this--and that includes me--gets no respect, and is regarded as someone who should be extinct.

                                Even those of us who take baby steps--I have just begun to Twitter, or is it Tweet? feel left out in the rain, like Barbara Stanwyck at the end of "Stella Dallas."  Now, here's the thing.   The people doing all this technical stuff would have no clue to the reference I just posted.  "Barbara Who?  Stella What.?" they would ask.

                                      In my day, we were interested in learning from our elders; it is made us more knowledgeable and humane.  And provided some of us with a sense of humor.  The Millennials, and their wannabes, have no humanity, no sense of humor, and are utterly lacking in any kind of knowledge beyond their self-involved selves!!!!!!!!!!!!  Of course, every group has their exceptions, but then, I wonder how those exceptions feel about their own contemporaries???????????

                                      And these are the people who accuse ME, and others such as I, of being dinosaurs????????????

                                       Whose head is buried now?????????????????????????

The Lower East Side Is Not What It Used To Be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas, anymore."
                                              --Judy Garland as Dorothy in "The Wizard Of
                                           Oz," 1939

                               That is how I felt yesterday, darlings, as I strolled through this part of town I hardly venture into.  But my beloved was taking a job enhancement test at a nearby school, and we were going to meet up with Auntie Alvin for lunch.  Which is how I found myself on the corner of Broome and Essex Streets, waiting for them to pick me up!  Like a common prostitute, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you imagine?

                                 I was terrified!  I mean, I was way out of my comfort zone.  You see, I am just an Uptown Girl, living in an Uptown World!!!!!!!!!!  Downtown is something else!

                                   Remember how this area was portrayed in movies like "Crossing Delancey," and "Enemies: A Love Story?"  It really used to be that way!  A heavy Jewish influence.  That is gone.  Now, it is all Yupsville, with fashion shops charging fifteen thousand dollars for some frou-frou thing, start-up hipsters trying to establish themselves in venture after venture that will go South, and the further encroachment of Chinatown.  Not a bad thing, but where is the diversity that was?

                                   Sure, Russ And Daughters is still there.  They catered my beloved's bar mitzvah, I'll have you know.  But, would you believe, they wanted us to wait an hour and forty five minutes?????????  Me???????????  For Kasha Varnishkes and Pickled Herring In Cream Sauce??????????  Get this--I tried to use MY influence!!!!!!!!  I told them I was The Raving Queen!
The hostess wouldn't listen, though one cute waiter, who must know, yelled "Yeah!" at the mention of this blog.  But an hour and three quarters wait???????????  I don't have to go through this, at Sarabeth's!!!!!!!!!!!!  But that is the Upper East Side, where I am more comfortable.

                                      Next, we thought we'd try Katz' Deli, where I had been several years before, and where the famous scene--you all know it, darlings--from "When Harry Met Sally" was filmed!  The line was all the way down the street.  Forget The Raving Queen, honey!  He doesn't need this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         After Auntie Alvin walked our feet off, we ended up at Congee Village on Allen Street.  I loved the almost Tiki-esque quality of the decor, the green plants on the ceiling, and the food was scrumptious and plentiful.  My Hot and Sour Soup, combined with the Chicken With Garlic Sauce I had, opened my sinuses up so much, I was ready to sing "Norma!" at the Met, that night!   But I didn't!
Instead, afterwards, we bade a fond farewell to Auntie Alvin, and hightailed it back to Brooklyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Who knows what the Lower East Sid will be the next time I go?  Of course, how soon will that be???????  Not too, after yesterday, I can tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           When will our culture learn what Martha Scott said in "The Turning Point--"
 "Tradition is continuity, and continuity is tradition??????????"

A Masterwork Of Bitch Literature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       As far as I am concerned, darlings, Hollywood never officially became "Hollywood," until that famous sign in the hills was erected.  From that point on, there has been no shortage of bitches, nor will there ever be.  Everyone has their idea who the biggest Hollywood Bitch Of All Time is, and for my money it can only be one person.

                                         Merle Oberon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         When "Wuthering Heights" was being cast, William Wyler did not want Merle for Cathy Earnshaw, feeling she was only a great beauty, and not much of an actress.  He was right; although her forehead always made me uncomfortable.  It was a clue to unmasking her secret, which, if it had been openly known, would not have enabled Merle to work in Hollywood.

                                            But back to "Wuthering Heights" a moment.  Merle's  iciness actually worked in her behalf for the role of Cathy, a cold, distant, and mysterious woman who obsessively ensnared the lower class Heathcliff.

                                             The irony of it all is that Merle's  actual origins were not that much different from Heathcliff's..  She was born the daughter of a tramp in the back streets of Bombay, India.  No one would allow a half caste to appear on the screen then, so do you know what Merle did?  She kept her  mother by her side--but passed her off as  her maid!!!!!!!!!!  Can you believe it????????????????  And the mother went along with it!   What a bitch of a daughter!

                                                Now, Vincent Korda, the designer brother of filmmaker Alexander, had a son named Michael, who became  a bigwig at Simon And Schuster!!!!!!!!!!   Michael's aunt just happened to be Merle Oberon, and he spilled the beans on her, in his novel, "Queenie," which spectacularly portrays its title character as Bitch Supreme.  Imagine if Merle had had access to today's technology.  She would have been an even bigger bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               "Queenie" was all the rage when it was first published, thirty years ago, back in 1985.  You simply could not be seen in civilized society, darlings, if you had not read it!  You better believe I gobbled it up!  That Merle!  I always knew she was a rotten bitch!  Now, the world knew!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 I am not sure if "Queenie" is still in print; I no longer have my copy.  But, if available, you should latch on to it, girls, for one of the best bitch roller coaster rides of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  It deservedly skewers Merle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Knockoff" Is A Knockout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     When Plum Sykes came along with "Bergdorf Blondes," the fashion and literary worlds were captivated.  Not to slight Plum, in the least, but with "The Knockoff," her twin sister, Lucy, and collaborator Jo Piazza, eclipse both worlds.  This brilliant amalgamation of "The Devil Wears Prada," "The Social Network," and, yes, "All About Eve," does on print what "A Chorus Line" did on stage--uses a particular work milieu to universalize Life experience.

                                       Which is to say that while the book stands as a magnificent bitch fest, it  is more!  The multigenerational workplace of today just is not working.  And it is not just the fashion industry which is subject to this, it is everyone, and everywhere.  Once upon a time, when my generation was young, we respected our workplace elders.  They worked hard, like our parents, to get where they were, and that took a certain amount of wisdom and knowledge that we felt we could learn from--and did.  But today, now that we are the workplace elders, such respect does not hold water, because the Millennials, and their elders who are trying desperately to keep up with them, both think they own the world!  And the rest of us are expendable, and should be consigned to the slag heap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           The adversaries here are Imogen Tate, a savvy fashion editor, who has been at it for years.  The bitch nemesis is Eve Morton, a former assistant, who left that job to go to Harvard Business School, which she says at every other turn, because she wants everyone to know it, and, boy, she thinks she can run the world!!!!!!!!!!  Imogen knows instantly what she is up against, but she doesn't realize how truly evil Eve is--though I did--until she discovers Eve has crossed the line.

                                            And this is where, if you want to avoid spoilers, you should stop reading!  See? I always let my girls know.

                                             It is one thing to sabotage someone at work.  It is another to cross that line. But because the Eves of this world have no respect for privacy, they do.  There is a subplot where Imogen's ten-year-old daughter, Anabel, a sweet, innocent girl, is being horribly cyber bullied by someone called Candy Cool.  I knew instantly it was Eve, because I understand how these sick things work.  I know one, myself!!!!!!!!!!!   When Imogen discovers this, there is a Final Confrontation, where Eve gets called everything she is by Imogen, only to say, "I did it to upset you.  I didn't do it to hurt Anabel."  How could she not realize that it wouldn't?  Because she is a workplace sociopath.  And so Eve slinks out of NYC, landing in the only fit place for workplace sociopaths--Silicon Valley.

                                             Even with a back story, Eve Morton is unsympathetic.  In the 1950 film, Eve Harrington was the daughter of Wisconsin farmers named Gertrude Slojinski, Eve Morton was little Evie Morton from Kunesh, Wisconsin.  Her mother died while she was young, so there was no feminine, or humane, influence, so Eve was raised by her father, an unsuccessful high school football coach, who never rose up the ranks because he has the same attitude as his daughter.  Like father, like daughter.  He makes it clear, all through the girl's life, that he wanted a boy, referring to her as "just the girl."  Eve works her butt off to please him, succeeding only when she gets into Harvard Business School.

                                             Giving Eve a context for her behavior is good and satisfying literary construction, but it does not help in eliciting any sympathy for her.  Personally, I wanted to see Imogen punch the rotten bitch in the face, knock her through one  of those floor length office windows, having her splayed all over the streets of Manhattan, the town she thought she would conquer.  But that's me.  The smarter authors take the higher, and more truthful, road.

                                              Of course, this book would make an interesting movie, but casting is crucial.  I can see any number of actresses--MERYL, Helen Mirren--as Imogen, but who could play Eve?  If she were younger, definitely Jennifer Jason Leigh, but who do we have around, like that, today??? Eve is the most hateful bitch I have come across in many a book, but as an acting part, she is a coveted role.

                                                 I learned two things from this book.  First, according to Donna Karan, a  pony tail is like a quick face lift.  And there's an interesting allusion, attributed to someone--Oscar Wilde???--that says, in effect, the ones trying to take you down do so because they see you above them.

                                                 Not very comforting for those this is happening to.  But it sort of reinforces what I have always said about these types.  Just be subtle, settle back, and let Time do the work.  It always does!

                                                   Meanwhile, enjoy the best, and most insightful bitch fest this side of  Lauren Weisberger.  It bridges both Proust and Prada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Did Not Know Plum Sykes Had A Sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let Alone A Twin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Who can forget Plum Sykes, darlings?  I loved her book, "Bergdorf  Blondes," as well as "The Debutante Divorcee."  She taught me all I know about Bellinis and the importance of getting a hair appointment with Ariette.

                                  But Sister Lucy is equally stunning.  And nothing is stopping these gals, in both the fashion and literary worlds.  Lucy, with Jo Piazza, has written "The Knockoff," which you will hear more about from me, tomorrow.  I just wanted to introduce Lucy to you--no the sisters are NOT related to Bill Sikes; the spelling is different, and, besides, the Sykes girls are real!

                                   And wait till you  hear how real the book gets!   It practically mirrors my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kudos To Kevin Moon Loh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             They must be a nice bunch, over at "The King And I."  It shows in their work, the most vocally enchanting Broadway has heard in ages.

                               Kevin Moon Loh is an ensemble member, and understudies the role of Lun-Tha!  Bet he can do an impressive "I Have Dreamed."

                                 Even more impressive is what took place at the September 23 matinee, when, during several emotional scenes, including Tuptim's whipping--which gets to me, darlings!!!!!!!!!--an autistic child reacted loudly and viscerally.

                                   Instead of dissing the mother for bringing the child, he dissed audience members and others with the attitude that such disabled people should be excluded from attending public performances, like theater.  Good for you, Kevin!  The Raving Queen commends you.

                                      Recently, my beloved and I were at a show--was it "On The Twentieth Century????" where a mother/grandmother brought her obviously special needs relation to the performance.  Not wanting to distract us, she had the young man sit on the aisle, so that he, and we, could all enjoy the show.  Which we did.

                                        I would never think of excluding anyone from a performance, unless for rudeness.  And what that autistic boy was doing hand nothing to do with that, but with  his individuality.

                                         I am so glad Kevin Moon Loh took the high road!

                                          The theater is, indeed, for everybody, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Patti Be Pissed??????????????????

                                If you don't all know the story by now, dears, you should!

                                Back in 1993, in London, Andrew Lloyd Webber mounted a sumptuous musical version of the film classic, "Sunset Boulevard," starring Patti Lu Pone!  Perfect casting, I thought, and I could not wait for it to travel over her to Broadway, so I could see Patti!

                                  But that is not what happened.

                                  That greedy little goblin Andrew decided to open a production of the show in Los Angeles, with Glenn Close playing the lead role of Norma Desmond.  Patti was contracted to reprise the role on Broadway.  But, when the raves started pouring in for Glenn, who, as far as I am concerned, pulled an Alex Forrest on Patti, Andrew jettisoned Patti in favor of Glenn.  In her famous memoir, Patti rel;ates how she tore apart her dressing room--Glenn is lucky she did not tear into her!!!!--and received a settlement large enough to fund an impressive backyard pool, which she still refers to as the Andrew Lloyd Webber Pool!!!!!!!!!!  Good for you, Patti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   At least Patti got some glory in London.  Now, twenty three years later, Glenn is going to London to reprise the role!!!!!!!!!!  Will Patti be pissed???????  Or won't she care?????????  It is anyone's guess.

                                   Out of loyalty to Patti, I never saw the show at all.  And after Glenn, there were some impressive Normas, like Betty Buckley and Elaine Paige!!!!!!!!!

                                     But Glenn??????  Why, again?  I mean, look at this photo!!!!!!!!!  Where is the pathos and vulnerability that Gloria Swanson brought to the role.  This shot looks like over-camp; someone who is auditioning for a musical version of "House Of Wax" than playing Norma Desmond.

                                       Lonny Price is set to direct in London next year.  I know he will do something magical with it, as far as the staging goes.

                                         But why must Glenn come with the package???????????????????

Say It Isn't So!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anne Hathaway Is NOT "Mary Poppins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                        Let me be very clear about this, girls!!!!!!!!!  I love Anne Hathaway.  I saw "The Devil Wears Prada" twice, as much for Anne and Emily Blunt as MERYL!!!!!!!!!!  I sobbed copiously during her Oscar winning Fantine!

                                        But--for those of us of a certain age, and children who grew up with the film in succeeding years, Anne Hathaway will NEVER be Mary Poppins, because Julie Andrews always WILL!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Yes, there is a remake of this classic in the works.  Let us hope it does not see the light of day.  It is not that Anne does not have the vocal chops to sing the role; she actually does!   But the beloved Sherman Brothers score is to be jettisoned for a new one written by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman.

                                          I mean, no "Feed The Birds?'  Come on; that is the heart of the movie!  And SO beautiful.  I fear this 'Poppins' will be less Disney and more P.L. Travers, and, frankly, I thought Disney did a better job with it.  His 1964 "Mary Poppins" is the only musical fantasy film to even come near the brilliance of the 1939 "Wizard Of Oz."  And no one would DARE talk about making that film!!!!!!!!!!!  I hope!

                                           So, Anne, it's not that you can't do it, it is just that you shouldn't.  Julie Andrews owns the role!  Leave it alone!

                                              If you don't believe me, take a look at "Feed The Birds!"  Who could possibly outdo this?????????????????

How The Hell Has It Taken Me This Long To Learn About Luke Janklow?????????????

                             Girls, just a few minutes ago I finished reading the most fabulous book.  You will hear about it, specifically, in another post.  Not only that, it will provide enough posts for me for days, or, at least, one full day of writing, where I may turn out to be a bitch who exposes bitches I know, even as I write about the bitch in this book.

                              I am such a reader that I even read the Acknowledgements.  So, when the authors mentioned the name "Luke Janklow," bells went off in my head.  "Could he be related to Mort Janklow?," I wondered.

                              Indeed, he is.

                               You see, back in the Seventies--or was it the Eighties; when you get to be my age time blurs!!!!!!!!--but I think it was the Seventies, because I remember reading it in my childhood home, TIME Magazine did a  feature piece on Mort Janklow, then THE literary agent of the day.  I was reading all his clients' books--Judith Krantz, Barbara Taylor Bradford, Danielle Steel--in the hopes of working with him.  I still remember those days of "Princess Daisy," and "Mistrial's Daughter."  They recall the so-called Golden Days of my youth, and within their genre, they are up there with "Pamela" and "Clarissa!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                              Mort and Linda Janklow were THE New York couple of the day!  I mean, you had to be seen at one of their parties, which I never was, because the Internet did not exist yet, if you wanted to among the Literary Set!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And Linda was the daughter of Mervyn Le Roy, who masterminded my all-time favorite movie, "The Wizard Of Oz," and another endearing one, "The Bad Seed."  So, Linda, honey, if you are still alive, we are, like Six Degrees from one another.

                               Now, back to Luke.  Yes, girls, he is cute.  And, he is straight.  Which is good news to some of my readers, and bad for others.

                                 But, he is off the market, dears, because, this year, he married L.A. Photographer Xela Mandel.  Though it is his second marriage, so who knows?

                                   Belated congrats to Luke and Xela!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   But, Luke, baby, you gotta read this blog!  I mean, now that you have been on The Raving Queen, you have made it, of sorts.  Back in those young days of mine, I wanted so desperately to work for your father, the man who I considered to be the male Anna Wintour!  Which you may soon become, Luke!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, how about it?  I will read manuscripts like nobody's business!  I will write a precis that would chill an iceberg!  I will sniff out new clients, and make sweeping discoveries!  Or read this blog, and let's talk dish--at Sarabeth's--because I could write a "Devil Wears Prada" book about my place that would make Lauren's tome seem like a love letter!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I am so glad I discovered Luke, darlings!

                                    Now, it is up to Luke to discover ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"And He's Gonna Sock It To Us, In The Name Of The Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                              We just LOVE the Pope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Did you hear Sister Camille, last night, girls, commenting on St. Patrick's Cathedral, and what all, during His Vespers service, last night?  Go, Sister C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 But, really, can't this poor man, who is giving his all--literally--be allowed to have any fun????????  At least take him to Coney Island,and Nathan's, for a hot dog!  And, since he is already on Fifth Avenue, why can't he be allowed to pop into the Men's Department, at Lord And Taylor????????????

                                  These are also essentials for a visit to New York!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I say cut the man some slack, and let him down ONE thing he WANTS to do!!!!!!!!!

                                    Maybe a facial at Elizabeth Arden??????????????

                                     Or a screening of "The Song Of Bernadette?????????????"

                                      Let's hear it for Pope Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!! Two Serial Killers For The Price Of One! And Amanda's Pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Darlings, I had no clue, "SVU' was the farthest thing from my mind as I was channel surfing last night.  I was even surprised it had been renewed for a 17th season, because, after last year, well..........

                                  Anyway, there it was--"Law And Order SVU--Season Premiere.  And a two hour one to boot. With guests like stage vets Dallas Roberts and Jefferson Mays, not to mention the welcome return of Tamara Tunie as Melinda Warner--hope she stays--this should have been gold!

                                  It wasn't, but it sparkled at times.  Let's start with Jefferson Mays, he of the huge forehead and creepy face.  I knew he was up to no good.  And, as soon as I remembered him from Broadway in "I Am My Own Life," and we saw his Norma Bates-like wardrobe, I knew we were off and running with a real sicko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But not attractive as a woman, at all! He looked as haggard as Mariska, as Olivia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Then there was Dallas Roberts, as Greg Yates, the good looking serial killer. And one who actually told the truth--hey, even Ted Bundy did!  His brilliant enunciation was chilling, his sniffing out fear and Amanda's pregnancy with almost sexual perversity made for some creepy moments.  But a REAL man, and easier on the eyes, darlings, than Dr. Carl Rudnick, played by Mays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Tamara came in to clean up the dirty work done by Rudnick, which could mean she will be on for awhile. At least for another episode, because this is a two parter.

                                       This is going to be a season of twosies.  Because, with Amanda Rollins (played wonderfully by Kelli Giddish, who is pregnant in real life, by hubby Lawrence Faulborn) pregnant, now there will be two single mothers on set.  Oh, my God!  And there is even more trouble for Amanda--her troubled sister Kim (the marvelous Lindsay Pulsipher) will be coming to town, with her mother, played by Virginia Madsen, to offer Amanda help and support, but you know these two White Trash Georgia crackers will just offer up more trouble!  They arrive in Episode 6, and I cannot wait!

                                        But seldom has an episode with such potential seemed so hackneyed.  My beloved called in Amanda's pregnancy an hour before she announced it. She keeps saying Nick Amarro (the departed Danny Pino) is not the Daddy, but is it the truth, or doth she protest too much!
Personally, I think the father is Nate Davis, played by Thomas Sadoski.  Two addicts having a kid!
Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        There is nothing warm and fuzzy about this show anymore, for all the maternal instincts floating around. Mariska looks beat as Olivia, without the acting chops to pull
'Mother Courage.'

                                          Unless the season keeps up the momentum of guest stars and returning characters, like here, the show might as well be consigned to the slag heap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Sexualizing The Metropolitan Opera Sell More Tickets??????????????????

                              You have to wonder, darlings.  I love the poser, and I have always wanted to see Berg's "Lulu," but will the demographics change?  This ad looks like it is shopping for the "Spring Awakening" or "Hamilton" crowd, and it may get a few of those, but no matter what is done, attendance is still going to depend upon cultured oldsters and jaded opera queens!  The latter, being, of course, the most vicious things in Creation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Now, here is a revolutionary concept, guaranteed to rope in the Baby Boomer Generation.  Remember the cartoon character, Little Lulu?  Why not stage a production of the Berg opera, and have the title character dressed as that familiar (to some) cartoon character. And, of course, include the "Little Lulu" song in the score.

                                  What's that?  You say you don't remember that song?  Well, come on, and sing it with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    "Little, little, little Lulu, with freckles on her chin,
                                      Always in and out of trouble, but mostly always in.
                                      Uses Daddy's necktie for the tale of her kite.
                                      Uses Mommy's lipstick for the letters she writes.
                                      Though the clock says seven- thirty, it's really after ten.
                                       Looks like Lulu's been repairing it again.
                                       Though you're wild as any Zulu, and you're just as hard to tame,
                                        Little Lulu, I love you-ou, just the same, the same.
                                        Little Lulu, I love you-ou, just the same.'

                                  Now, that would be a crowd pleaser, I can tell you!

                                   Who knows?  It might lead next to an opera with Nancy, Sluggo and Aunt Fritzi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone Gets The Bitch Wrong In "Gone With The Wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is lifted from classic fiction and film.  Anyone on here recognizes these two?  Or at least the one on the right?

                               The winner is, of course, from "Gone With The Wind."   But it is NOT Scarlett!

                                "Whaaaaaaaaat?," I can already hear some of you saying!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Au contraire, my pets!  Scarlett was no bitch!  She was a survivor, and to survive you have to push!  She might very well have been the Anna Wintour of her day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 No, the real bitch in the story, and the winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, is Scarlett's sister, Suellen  O'Hara, played memorably by Evelyn Keyes.

                                  In the movie, Suellen is catty, nagging, envious, yet still acts like she is the Grand Lady and butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.  Even when Scarlett returned to the ravaged Tara, and she and Careen were ill with the fever that took their mother, Suellen acted like she was still the Plantation Princess, and times had not changed.

                                   But wait!  In the book, she is even worse.  Because, there, she causes her father's death, making him sign some kind of oath that would render him disloyal to the cause of the Confederacy, but land them some money!  When it comes time to sign, the addled man finally comes to his senses, disowns his bitch of a daughter, and rides off, enraged, resulting in his death.

                                      The entire community hates Sullen more than it ever disliked Scarlett. and she is forevermore a family pariah, taken away in marriage by a character not in the movie, Will Benteen!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Frank Kennedy may have been foolish enough to marry Scarlett, but at least he died a quick death.   Marriage to Suellen would have been slow, psychological torture that would have done him in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         So, the REAL bitch of the Margaret Mitchell story is Suellen!

                                         No better winner could be asked for, this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Kasha, Varnishkes, Kasha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                Just a few more hours, and then all my Jewish darlings can pig out!  Pickled herring in a cream sauce!  Kasha Varnishkes!  It just makes me so excited, just thinking about it!

                                 And I am not even Jewish.  I do not have to fast!

                                 But those who do are coming down the home stretch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I am actually to a break fast tonight, for food and penance!  Don't even ask me to talk about the second!  Except it has something to do with a Mack truck!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Doesn't that plateful look luscious???????????????

                                    Get ready to chow down, girls!  It is almost meal time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Here is a visual reminder of this evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Just LOVE It When Emma Roberts Is Such A Total Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Did you see the two hour premiere of "Scream Queens" last night, girls?  It, was, like, oh my God, so rad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Set in a sorority house, where a killer is running lose, Emma Roberts plays Chanel Oberlin, a total bitch!  Like, uh, this is an acting stretch????????  No one does a bitch quite like Emma, but, then, with the press telling us how Emma knocked around her ex, then returned, boy friend, AHS'er Peter Evans, maybe she is carrying the bitch thing too far--off stage, I mean.  no wonder Aunt Julia is worried about her.

                         Actually, if I were Aunt Julia, I would be more worried about this show.  It is entertaining, fun, a bitch, the dresses and costumes are fabulous--but it is all rather repetitive.  Thank God for Skyler Samuels, and Jamie Lee Curtis as worthy adversaries! And wait till you Lea Michele as Neck Brace!  She actually tries to do some genuine acting. I say TRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Here is Lea, as Neck Brace, now!!!!!!!!!!  Isn't she just so ugly????????  This is her attempt to shake off Rachel Berry on "Glee!"  I did not even recognize her the first time, and with that brace and awful hair, she was pretty funny!  But not nearly as funny as Whitney Meyer, who took away from Lea as Deaf Taylor Swift!  Too bad she had her head cut off with a lawnmower!!!!!!!!   That was so funny, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  Ha! Ha! Ha!  Actually, it would have been funnier if it had been Lea's head chopped off!  Then she would have been with us for only one episode!  But, hope springs eternal!  Who knows?  She could get chopped up, in the future!  Like her career!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                In the end, you know who stole the show?  The Red Devil!  Not as tantalizing as the naked devil years before at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, but if this fellow comes around in more episodes, things are bound to get lively!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And didn't you love it when the gay boys screamed????????

                                    Now, THOSE were the real Scream Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Goes On At Our House During Yom Kippur????????????????

                          Especially when one person is Jewish, and the other is not, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                           I know what you want to hear. That I watch my beloved writhe in torment, in bed, while I stand before him, stuffing my face, with everything in sight!

                            But that is not the case!

                            I know I could be shot for saying this, but when it comes to fasting on Yom Kippur, the Jews kvetch too much.  Compared to us Catholics, who face the dilemma of pain wracked bodies from stone floors, as soon as we are out of the womb, not to mention there are some of us who can remember when all Fridays were Days of Abstinence (No meat!!!!!!!), not to mention stigmata, and all the other indignities we are required to suffer as we try to make our way to Heaven.  NOT like Gladys Cooper, I will have you know!

                            So, fasting for one day is nothing!

                             Let me tell you, tonight is not going to prevent us from watching the TV premiere of "Scream Queens!"  Oh, my God!  I LOVE when Emma Roberts is a bitch!  Why couldn't they have chosen ME??????????

                              For Yom Kippur, my beloved will stay home and go to services.  Were I to observe, this Catholic Theater Queen would pull out all the Jewish musicals--"Fiddler On The Roof," "Funny Girl," "Milk And Honey," and "Rags," and listen to each, all the way through.

                                But I will be at work, looking forward to the break fast!

                                 Pickled Herring In Cream Sauce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Kasha, Varnishkes, Kahsa, Varnishkes, Kasha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Not until tomorrow night, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 

Today, We Remember A Tragic Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I chose the sweetest picture I could find, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             It is hard to believe that five years ago, this evening, Tyler Clementi made the irrevocable decision that ended his life, and changed those who were gay and bullied.  Why so high a  price?

                              Let us remember Tyler, but most of all his family, for whom this is a difficult day.  I cannot imagine that it never will be.  Loss anniversaries are always hard, but considering the circumstances, and that what should have been private went international, it has to be multiply hard.

                               Say a prayer, light a candle, for Tyler, and his family.

                                And those of you are gay and struggling--live the life for yourselves that Tyler did not get the chance to!

                                   To Tyler, on this special day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!