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Saturday, October 17, 2020

"I've Had It Rough, Before! I'm A Barracuda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                                      I guess I really am , girls, because I came through the heart ablation  procedure, with  flying colors.  So I am told.


                                       But it was surreal.  David and I actually walking into the hospital  at NYU at 5:30 in  the morning, like  Garland or Crawford reporting for work at Metro.   Then, in the procedure area, I was treated as if at a casting call, when  a  man named Phil  called  out  names,  and had us line  up.   What was this, an audition?  "A Chorus Line?"  I  mean, my role was operation  patient.  I already had the part.

                                        I was settled  into  a curtained cubicle, with David  following. I had  to undress, get in a gown,  and onto a stretcher.  The  guy named Phil, actually shaved me--down there!!!!!!!, my first  time  ever!--but would you believe he did NOT give me a wax job?  I thought that was standing procedure in shavings.  I was given a hair  net to wear,  to keep my hair beautiful, so that, at least I  did not look like  the  guy who is the Operation game  board.  By the way,  I am still waiting for someone to send  me a dozen  roses, and a gift  card to Sally Hershberger!

                                            The table  I  laid  on was warm,  the  room  cool, which helped put me  in a relaxed state, which I needed, because there was a lot of prep, things I had  to  be hooked up to, before  I was put under.  Mentally, I was screaming,  "Put  me  under, already!"  Then, when  I  felt I was starting  to have some  sort of dream, I saw Linda, my main nurse, and asked her when we would start.  She said, "We are all done!"  Wow!  My  physician, Doctor Anthony Aizer, said I did  very well.  I was wheeled back  to the cubicle, and there was my beloved David!!!!!!!!!!!!  My throat felt ragged, as a tube was down  it, so it may be awhile before I start singing "Frank Mills."  I also,  understandably felt weak, because I had been through something.  I  had  lay still  for  about two hours, which,  considering how I felt, turned  out  to be easier  than I thought.  Finally, I was walked around, and allowed to walk  around, and finally urinate, which I did a lot that day, October 15, as they were  putting fluids in me during the procedure,  so  I  would not dehydrate.   I am happy to report that, as of this morning, October 17, my urination  is  normal, for me, and  I had a bowel movement!  These are the kinds of things I worry about obsessively.

                                              Coming down from the anaesthesia cost me a day of reading, but yesterday, I went back to that, with flying colors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             As I said elsewhere, the  15th was the  Feast Day Of  St. Teresa Of  Avila, aka "The Little Flower Of Jesus."  I felt she,  Bernadette, Jacinta, Chloe, and all my animal friends were in that room with me, watching over  me.  And, as a special surprise, David revealed,  afterwards, that our  beloved Baby  Gojira, complete  with his nurse's outfit, had come along, in  my Diane Von Furstenberg reticule  bag!  He insisted, and I am  sure he saw things were followed to the max.   Our  little stuffed pet loves to micro-manage!

                                               Aside from those already mentioned,  I want  to thank Dr. Aizer, again, as well as nurses  Linda and Stephanie, nurse practitioner Chris,  and everyone on the NYU team who  were so nice and helpful, and  without whose brilliance and temperaments I  could never hade made  it  through.

                                               As  to you, Phil,  I will never forget my first shave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I AM  a barracuda, so watch out,  girls!

                                              Like Scarlett, who was as Irish as  I am, we survive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

2 comments:

Victoria said...

SO thankful you had a positive experience!!
My stepdad had some kind of dementia episode and ended up in the hospital for a few days; by the time he came home, he was Worse.
Much, much worse.
I know they’re short staffed but yikes.
It was inhumane what he went through.

The Raving Queen said...


Victoria,

So far, so good. Thanks for
all the support. Sorry to hear
about your stepdad. I know
hospitals are short, but quality
care should be standard, and especially
for the older and more vulnerable members
of our population.