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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I Have A Sinus Infection, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Just think, girls, if I had taken AP Bio, like Roberta, I could have gone into diagnostics!!!! Well, as far back as Thursday, when I began to feel "not right," I thought to myself, "I wonder if I am getting a sinus infection?" Well, yesterday, I went to the doctor, and, lo and behold, that is what has been troubling me. But this has been TERRIBLE!!!! I have not had one in years-- I can't remember when the last one was--but I do recall they were never as severe as this. Annoying, yes!!! But not severe!!!

Perhaps they were not as severe because I was younger. And the reason I got so many of them back then, was, I am sure , from, ahem, social interaction. I mean, I was always careful with HIV and STD's, but there is no eliminating germs during kissing and smooching. I am not even talking about anything else. So, back then, it seemed like I would get sinus infections, which, just as quickly, seemed to disappear. And as age and life change knocked me off one party circuit, and onto another, well the opportunities dried up, and I was not complaining!!!!

So, when this one seemed to come out of nowhere, it knocked me for a loop!!!!! Either this was a really bad one, or, because of age, it just knocks me out more than it used to.

I mean, this is the third day I have been out of work!!! I may have issues, but let me tell you, people know I am REALLY sick, because I don't do this. Besides, if I were going to hole up on a beach in the Caribbean, and say "Shove it!", the postcard would have arrived by now!!!!!

Plus this is interfering with my soda fountain cruising, enabling me to get discovered, like Lana Turner. Bet if Lana ever got a sinus infection, that must have been some chest compress, honey!!!! How about Dolly Parton????

So, I am telling all my girls, do your best to stay healthy. You do not want this, I can assure you.

And mark my words, when my voice DOES return, it will be like Judy at the Palace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Girls, When A Princess Suffers, She SUFFERS!!!!!!!!!!



Girls, there is so much to talk about--like Mary Louise Parker's alleged face work!!!!--but how can I, in this condition???? Since Friday, I have gone from no voice to low voice--I will not be singing Fantine this week, dears--not to mention the coughing and all the crap that goes with it. My energy level is hardly what it was, and the only reason I am going out of the house today is I am going to the doctor!!! I hope I get cough medicine with codeine, because that will at least keep me smiling and upbeat !!!!! You better believe it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!! Just like Judy and Neely!!!!!

When a Princess suffers, it is all about SUFFERING!!!! Forget Ingrid Bergman at the stake in "Joan Of Arc," or Jennifer Jones at the end of 'Bernadette', this is serious stuff, girls, where even a hangnail becomes a point of anxiety!!!!! How on Earth is one to endure without Bergdorf's????? Guess I might as well stop the clocks, like Miss
Havisham, because my social life has declined!!! And we go into Daylight Savings Time, this weekend!!!!

Kiss, kiss, darlings, what am I supposed to do???? I deserve at least some worthwhile narcotics, if not a manicure!!!! And don't even talk to me yet about a pedicure!!!! Not till Easter!!!!! Meanwhile I suffer, and not in silence, sweeties, I am telling you!!!! Just ask Monsieur!!!!

Hey, Understudy, you bitch!!! Don't you DARE upstage me this week!!!!!!!!! As though you COULD?????????????????????????

Friday, March 2, 2012

Darlings, The First Social Event Of March!!!!!!!!!!!



Girls, let me tell you, queens of all shapes and sizes (along with my friend, Judy!!!!!!!) turned out at Three Lives Books last night, for Christopher Brams's reading. He read from his new, non-fiction work "Eminent Outlaws," a collection of essays covering gay writers he felt influenced him. Host Toby was on hand to pour refreshing Pellegrino, and the Enchanting Ryan was on hand to assist and...enchant!!!!!!

But the highlight was Chris reading, talking about Gore Vidal and "The City And The Pillar," and an early gay writing group, known as the "Violet Quill." Which is what I should be in, darlings!!!!!!!!

Also on hand was Joel, of Adam and Joel, famed for his Mai-Tais. If only he had stirred some up then!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But a wonderful time was had by all! And I cannot wait to read this book!!!!!!!!

Just LOVE those literary events, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Girls, What IS It With Jonathan Safran Foer???????




For those of us literary minded girls, darlings, there is that trio of writers known today as the Three Jonathans--Franzen, Lethem, and Safran Foer!!!!!!! Franzen is the King, alphabetically, and from a literary standpoint. Lethem is respectable and renders yeoman service. But Safran Foer in some ways seemed (note I said seemed) the most promising. His signature book, "Everything Is Illuminated" was so moving, so beautifully written, I read it twice. With anticipation, I looked forward to his next work, "Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close," which, if it suffered a bit from Second Novel Syndrome, still retained a glimmer of promise. Except for the gimmick of those pictures.

Like the song in "Gypsy" says, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick," but Mr. Safran Foer has taken this to an extreme where he is in danger of losing his readership. He has just about lost me.

I recently found out about his latest work, "Tree Of Codes." Then I took a look at it in the stores. For the standard paperback price of, say, $15.95, you get pages of paper between binding that resembles an interconnected chain of paper doll cut outs, rendered by a child. Except it is a book, with textual passages ripped out to the point that what is left is impossible to read, because who wants to endure this visual torture, and you can see clear through to the end.

What the writer did, was to take his admittedly favorite book, Bruno Schulz's "The Street Of Crocodiles," and cut out the majority of words so that they tell a different story. Jonathan, honey, if this is your way of honoring your favorite book, and if Schulz is still alive, if I were he, I would be insulted. It has been described as an "artwork, in the form of the book," and the New York Times, who would embrace a piece of soiled toilet paper as such, if it were signed by one of today's Great White Male writers, has called this "a true work of art."

Who are they kidding???? I know what P.T. Barnum said, and the idiot who reviewed this "work" for the Times, is worthy of that famous quote. But I am no sucker, dolls!!!!!!! Good thing there is another writer in Safran Foer's house; his wife, Nicole Krauss, whose "The History Of Love" is a truly satisfying experience (I have read that one twice, too, girls!!!!!) and I look forward to her "Great House," which awaits in one of my To-Be-Read piles.

If Krauss' hubby keeps doing stuff like this, he is going to be run out of this literary town on a rail!!!!!!!! He won't be able to write for supermarket magazines, loves!!!!!!!! Cut the crap, Jonathan, and get back to the serious work that your first book showed you to be SO capable of!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where, darlings, is Clifford Fadiman, when you need him?

Girls, What More Can Be Said????????????????



Yes, darlings, how much more can be said on and about that scumbag and Family Annihilator, John Emil List???????

Apparently plenty, for, after reading the second book on the case, "Death Sentence--The Inside Story Of The John List Murders" by Joe Sharkey, I had a better understanding of List as a contemptible piece of crap, and more insight into what instigated his heinous decision to, on November 9, 1971, end the lives of his family in Westfield, New Jersey--wife Helen, mother Alma, and children Patty, John, Jr. and Frederick.

The one thing the book does NOT do, which I so hoped it would, was indicate what happened, in the intervening years, to List's second wife, and essentially sixth victim, Delores Miller Clark. Under false pretenses of marrying a man named Robert P. Clark, Delores lived with this man for several years, until he was apprehended in 1989. She is understandably shocked and traumatized, and one instantly sympathizes with her, especially, as the media bores in on her, her wish to be left alone, as it was misfortune, not her fault, that she is swept into a media-centric event.

After List was extradited to New Jersey, it is made clear that Delores sold the condo they had, and moved elsewhere, alone. But the book does not indicate whether or not she filed for divorce from List, or if he did her. Indications are she never visited him during his years in prison, and up to his death. She was younger than List, so she could still be alive today, but I have a feeling to this day this is something she cannot talk about, and so she will hide from those who inquire. But it is a piece of the John List puzzle that remains unsolved.

The other person I feel enormously sorry for is Ed Illiano, who ran the drama workshop in Westfield that Patty List was so active in. Sharkey makes clear that, on the night of November 5, the List children were called into the kitchen by their father, and were told--I kid you not--they were going to die, soon, and had better be prepared. They were also asked if they preferred to be cremated or buried. They all said buried.

I cannot imagine what the three children must have said or done, after List left. It is clear that the two older, Patty and John Jr. fully understood their father was going to kill them all; they just did not know when. I wonder why they did not notify, say, Helen's sister, Jean Sybert, in Oklahoma, and run to she and her husband, named, interestingly enough, Gene????
Patty did try to reach out to Ed Illianno, who got that Patty was beyond teenage histrionics. But he did not believe her, because no one could conceive of such a thing. How he must live with all this to this day. My heart goes out to him.

As it does to the Children, who were innocent of any of the misfortunes of their parents' marriage. In fact, in a manner of speaking, Patty and Frederick, for their age group, were doing better than John; both worked in an insurance office downtown after school, and were bringing in income, something which List was ultimately unable to do. Not that his children were making enough to support the household. But then neither was he. And the combination of the two must have galled on him.

Up to a point and, had he committed suicide and left everyone else alive, ( and I am not condoning suicide here) one might have felt sorry for John List. Though some of the same questions asked now would still be--why didn't he seek help????
When he was finally imprisoned in Jersey, his sister-in-law, Jean Sybert, flew to see him, asking the question everyone of the day wanted to, "Why?" All she got out of him was the reply, "It was the only way."

The answer goes much deeper than that. What the scenario had going for it was the proverbial perfect storm. A man who is raised in a home of repression and Lutheran faith. Who marries a woman who ultimately deceives him, by claiming to be pregnant, when she is not. And with whom he had reservations about marrying in the first place, so now he is trapped. A society whose mores and job market is changing, which is too much for a rigid conservative like List to absorb and accept. A wife in poor health, an elderly mother, and children on the cusp of puberty, entering into a society of which he strongly disapproves. And against all this he cannot support them all.

As I said, to a point, one might have felt sorry for him. But there were other sides of him that crept out from time to time--dominance, control, the ability to casually deceive--that suggested a devil lurked beneath the surface of John List. And it was that Devil who rose to the fore, and, by perverting his religious beliefs into a rational justification for his actions, John List, set about, as early as September 1971, to plan the murder of his entire family. While he felt himself a failure, there was this egotistical side who also felt the family was excess baggage that, were he free, he might have a chance at a second life. And this was the single motivating factor in John List's actions. As one close to the case stated, "He knew doctrine, but he did not know God." Exactly.

When these sides are held together, it is impossible to see List as anything more than a piece of contemptible scum. Even his confession was a lie; saying he shot everyone from behind, so they would not see and suffer. With the exception of daughter Patty, everyone of his victims had a final vision of the person they presumably were to trust most in the world, pointing a gun at them and firing. Young John, Jr. suspected something afoot as he walked into the house, and he and his father fought physically, with List shooting him savagely, moreso than the others, till he was dead!!!!!!!!

And still he believed, to his dying day, he did it for their good, that they would all reunite in Heaven, and he would be forgiven. I agree there may have been some kind of confrontation in the Afterlife, but I don't think forgiveness had anything to do with it!!!!!!!!

John List was a dangerously potent combination of religiosity and ego. It was OK for everyone else to die, so long as he lived. And with Ed Illiano, and, presumably, Delores, two survivors of his casualty live on.

Sharkey's book leaves no room for empathy. The portrayal of John List given here is one of cold, cruel and calculating evil. Perhaps it would have been better, had he never married or had children. Unfortunately, he did.

This scum is gone. But anyone who lived during his reign of terror will remember him for years to come. And that is not a compliment, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Start March With Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!



Given the current winner this week, girls, and added on to last week's, it seems candidates are popping up all over the place, under the rubric, "How low can you go?"
Last week it was lesbian lovers robbing and murdering a four foot male dwarf!!!!!!
This week, the victims are Roman Catholic nuns!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me say, first of all, who has anything against nuns???? Look what they did for the careers of Audrey Hepburn, Jennifer Jones, Loretta Young, and the like!!!!!!! Whenever you have a play or movie featuring them, they sell tickets, you better believe it!!!!!! So, why would anyone want to do things to nuns???????

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is Adriano Sotomayor!!!!!! This man, aged 54, who hails from Cape May, New Jersey (why does New Jersey always get the blame???) for three years has been running a Ponzi scheme of his own, hitting upon elderly nuns with alleged claims of their being beneficiaries of wills, after which whatever money they have gets stolen from them.

He started this ruse three years ago, with the Sisters Of Fatima in Puerto Rico. And he was still at it, when apprehended in--how appropriate, darlings!!!--Las Vegas!!!!!!!!!!

Forget the fact one nun had $250K on her!!!!!!! I know, I know, what about the vow of poverty???? Maybe Sotomayor thinks by putting them in literal poverty, he is helping them fulfill their Divine mission!!!!!!!!! Yeah, right!!!!!!!! He is just filling his coffer from the hands of the more vulnerable members of society--the nuns and the elderly!!!!!! He should have the book thrown at him--I believe he will--and I do not mean The Bible!!!!!!!!!!!

What has the world come to, when you have guys stealing money off nuns???? Even if said nuns may have a huge chunk of change, is that any of his business????? I don't see these nuns lounging on the beaches of St. Thomas with these gains; I am sure much of it is given to the church; if not in Life, then surely in Death.

Which makes Sotomayor one prize Bitch Of The Week!!!!!! HE is the one who should take the vow of poverty!!!!!!!!!!!

But, then, he will, darlings, because his next stop is a holding cell!!!!!

Bitch, bitch, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March Comes In Like A Lion, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Well, girls, it is the first day of March, so breathe a little easier, for this is the month where Prosperina gets to come back from Hell (on the 21st, which commences Spring) and the earth and air become green and verdant, with longer days, and more time to spend outdoors, reading, meditating, or whatever it is you do!!!!!

March also used to mean the Oscars, but, now they are in February, so that is done. And it used to mean the annual showing of "The Wizard Of Oz," but, thanks to Ted Turner and TCM, that has been taken from us. But, darlings, thanks to the wonders of technology, with a DVD player (Blu-ray, or not) you can have your annual screening ANY time, and not just annually; as many times as you want!!!! A childhood fantasy come true!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, this month has lots of associations, the most important being it marks the end of the long Winter season. Even if it seems we have had the mildest on record, (or the mildest, as far as I can recall), it always seems as if Winter is the most drawn out of all. Maybe because it housebounds so many, giving them cabin fever. Instead of Saturday Night Fever, which is better!!!!

Turn your thoughts toward flowers and Spring, dolls!!!! March is here, and the Winter of 2012 is slowly dissolving into History. And by the 21st, it will be!!!!

Say what you want to, but March is here to stay! He's a mean old lion!!!!

And we love him, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!