Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!! You Are Simply Not Going To Believe This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Now, understand, darlings, I have not spoken to Meryl, personally.  You know how difficult it is to get a luncheon date with her?  Even Barack Obama has trouble!!!!!!!!!!!  So, what you are about to hear--which is shocking enough to contemplate--I found out by accident.

                                  Around the beginning of last month, Meryl Streep had surgery on her left hand!
The most highly insured left hand in the business, I am sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    It seems she was in the kitchen, slicing up an avocado, when she sliced too far into her own hand!  She went to a doctor, who surgically repaired things, bandaged her, and sent her on her way.  Thank God it was not serious, and Meryl, being brilliant, had the sense to take care of things immediately.  I wouldn't expect anything different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Now, what is so shocking to contemplate about all this?????  Well, the first thing is that it happened to Meryl Streep, who is beyond the pall of us mortals!!!!!!  Imagine--

                                         Meryl Streep bleeds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Meryl Streep goes to the doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Meryl Streep was in a kitchen!!!!!!!!!  Now, what in the world, darlings, would she be doing there?????  I mean, if you are Meryl Streep, you get your servants--or, at the very least your husband and/or children--to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Or Stanley Tucci!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Meryl Streep was slicing food with a knife!!!!!!!!! This might have worked brilliantly, when portraying Julia Child, but why in the world would she do this now????????????

                                               I am not going to start with avocados, because I don't like them.   Except in guacamole.  Though believe me, if Meryl Streep herself served them to me, I would damn well eat each and every one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Quelle catastrophe, girls!!!!!!  Thank Heaven Meryl is all right!  But what does this all mean?????????  That we should all do our own avocado slicing, in the kitchen??????
I may hang out in my kitchen, but I make coffee, butter bread, and, hope to attempt those aforementioned recipes. Knife slicing and avocados are simply not part of my plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     But watch yourselves, girls!!!!!!! Because if Meryl Streep could actually injure herself, what does that say about the rest of us??????????  That we are all capable of self-mutilation!??????????????????????

                                                         Such cut ups, you are, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              

Scum Does Not Come Any Lower Than This, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  If you have been keeping up, girls, you have already heard about Kenneth P. Auringer, currently rotting in a Florida prison, where he belongs.  When I first saw his story, this past Sunday, on Paula Zahn's show, I knew I had found this week's Bitch Of The Week.

                                   Let me briefly remind you what he did.  At 29, an itinerant drifter, he was picked by up by one John Mack Alaman, Jr. a 54-year-old businessman, with a philanthropic, humanistic bent.  The man took Auringer home, (there was absolutely NO hanky panky, darlings!!!!) fed him, gave him shelter, maybe even some clothes--and the scum repays him by awakening in the middle of the night, to stab Alaman in his bed, while planning to rob him.  Alaman died trying to escape from his home, and Auringer made off with his car, and other items.

                                      Girls, this was a real 'Mr. Goodbar' situation, minus the sex.  Alaman was trying to do the guy a good turn, and this is what he gets for it?  Talk about no good deed goes unpunished!  But no one deserves this!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          So beware of strangers lurking, for they could turn out to be real scum, like Kenneth Aurigner, winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.  I know the lyric on the 'Streetcar' episode of "The Simpsons" says a stranger is just "a friend you've yet to meet," but with sucm like this out there--and there is plenty more; believe me, darlings!!!!!!!--one's best friend is sometimes taking care of Numero Uno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Imprisoned for the past 3 years--after taking 31 to be caught--I doubt ths guy has any remorse, nor is any different in attitude from when he was 29.  At least he is where he belongs, and where Freedom will never shine on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             You filthy piece of scum, Ken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The white trash family on 'Honey Boo Boo' has more class than you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Choke on it, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Fashion Week Commences This Evening!!!!!! And Anna Is On Her Way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       September is a month of events, and the first one kicks off tonight, at Lincoln Center, as Fashion Week 2012 arrives!!!!!!!!  There will be more glitter and gay than usual at the famed arts mecca, as models,  runways, and of course ANNA (whom all my girls know and love!!!!!!!!!!) descend on the place.  Personally, I hope I can corner Anna for some girl talk about the upcoming Season, and bite to eat!!!!!!!!!  Even if it just watercress sandwiches and tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I can't believe I have not been called, or invited to any of the functions, yet!  I mean, some of my favorite designers are going to be there, and I want to see what they are offering that I can actually wear.  Maybe I will check with Grace (Coddington); bet she will be on the premises, too, and if so, she could get me in somewhere!!!!!!!  I promise you, dolls, if  I succeed, you will get such a report, and I will get such an expansion of my clothes closet!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            The Fall Season is upon us, with the start of Fashion Week!!!!!!  Anna, we love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             But I am not going anywhere near that silly Andre Leon Talley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Has Madame Kitty Litter Addict Comitted Hari Kari????????

                                   Well, a girl can hope, can't she?????????????

                                   About two months ago, you might recall me posting on here about Despicable Despina (Poulakakis, that is!!!!!!!) and her bogus real estate job, with the kitty litter box, under her desk!!!!  Well, this weekend, at one point, found us in the vicinity of 86th Street near Third, so we peeked in the office window--and discovered the litter box and bag was gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Clearly, someone has been reading this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       The odds of a deceased Despina are pretty nil.  But one wonders what has happened to the litter box, and such????????  I can tell you. It is most likely stored in the office bathroom, where she can stick her feet in it, while  indulging her gastronomic addiction whenever she wants.  Trouble is, Despina is so disgustingly fat that she exhausts plumbing budgets; the average toilet and tank cannot support that weight, so it cracks. She loses more toilets that way.  Probably forces her to dig a hole down by the bay, after she beats the laundry!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Has the Raving Queen struck again???????  I have to wonder, with that litter box and bag gone!!!!!!!!!!!  But not to worry; some morning, she is liable to find a gift of a giant litter bag left on the office doorstep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Happy foot crunching, and munching, Despina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time To Go Back To "The Golden Girls," Loves!!!!!!!!!!!

                            When Monsieur and I were first courting, girls, we used to end each evening, before turning in, with a rerun of "The Golden Girls."  I loved the fashions, that house, Rue McClanahan, and the kind of warmth and security they shared, which emanated out toward us from the television screen.  No, kidding, dolls!!!!!!! And, no, I was not "on" anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It was a nice tradition that, like many, over time, gets lost in the shuffle of others. But I am telling you now, darlings, it is time to turn this clock back.   When I start finding myself, as I have recently, thinking and sounding like one of the disembodied victims on "Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets," even I know I have reached some kind of saturation point.  After all this crime investigation viewing, I have found myself skittish and angst ridden, come bedtime.  And there is only one cure for that--Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia and Rose gathered around their kitchen  table, having coffee and cheesecake!!!!!!!  Just like I should, loves!!!!!!!!!  I recall how "The Golden Girls" used to relax me before bedtime, and send me off dreaming happy dreams.  So the time has come to revive this tradition.

                                 Actually, I began last night. But, since this was a Back To Work night, I was angst ridden, anyway. Now that I am back in the groove, I shall see what happens.

                                   Not that I am going to give up "Investigation Discovery." It is just not going to be my last watched show before turning in.  I need a more positive relaxant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And, if  by any chance, "The Golden Girls" should not work this time, there is always narcotics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               

What I Owe To "Julie And Julia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               When this film first came out, three years ago, I saw it four times, I was so captivated!!!!!  One of those times was on a visit to Florida, where I took my then 94 (and still thriving now, at 97) year-old father, to see it, and he was charmed.  I wrote it about it extensively on this blog, at the time, and I resolved to do more cooking, not because I wanted to emulate Julie Powell, but because I wanted to expand my horizons.

                                   I am still looking to expand, darlings.  And I had not thought about "Julie and Julia", or the whole thing, for awhile, until yesterday.  Monsieur and I spent a rather un-glamorous Labor Day, because we were apartment bound, due to the fact that Vinnie was coming over to do the kitchen. To do so, he had to turn off the electricity in the kitchen, which killed it in the living room, so, we were confined to the bedroom, and, thankfully, the TV was working!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Now, before I go on, I know what all you girls want to know!!!!!!!!  What about Vinnie????????  Worker comes to fix kitchen; I can see all your fantasies out there going right now!  Well, let me bring you up short!  Vinnie was very nice, tall, lanky, not a bad body, but not much in the looks department.  Though, judging by his lankiness, fingers and foot size, I would guess him to be hung like a horse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I am not about to find that out, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  First, I love Monsieur!!!!!  Second, would Sister Simplice do such a thing???????  And, third,  I leave all that to my girls out there!

                                       Not to mention I am pretty certain Vinnie was straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Anyway, yesterday we were holed up, watching television. By 3PM, even I was having my fill of "Investigation Discovery," and I began to channel surf.  I discovered that "Julie and Julia" was about to start, and, as neither of us had seen it in three years, or ever watched it together, since the film was released the year before we met,  we opted for this more cheerful selection.

                                           This was my fifth viewing, and while the big things were as astounding as ever, the little things got to me, this time.  Like the performance of the Powells' cat.  Or the brilliant way Meryl, with just a look, a glance, conveys the depth of Julia Child's one regret--never having (or perhaps not being able to) a child!  There are two scenes related to this that had my in tears.  And Meryl barley lifts an eye!!!!!!!  Darlings, that is why she is MERYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             At the time of its release, I was in thrall to the Julie Powell part of the film. First, because of Amy Adams--radiant, as always!  Second, because of all that food she cooks!!!! And third, because this part really got it right about living in New York--fighting your way back and forth on the subway, coming home late, cooking, getting up again to work the same day to day job....darlings, I saw this segment of the film as representative of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                But this time, I realized I was looking at it, still feeling this, but through very different eyes.  For starters, I am no longer in Queens, but Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.  For another, in the film Julie has Eric, who stands by her through cooking and blogging.  At the time of the film, how I longed for my own Eric, never certain I would ever find one.

                                                  Well, loves, I have, in the guise of Monsieur, and, of course, the wait was worth it. In the fall of 2009, when Julie Powell came out with her recent book, "Cleaving," I went to a reading she gave at Barnes and Noble.  I recall there was actually some old and ignorant codger, who got mad because she was not Amy Adams; he expected Julie Powell to look like that!  She handled it with much more equanimity than I ever could!  Still single, then, I asked about cooking romantically, and when I presented my book to be signed, she wrote, "Good Luck, with the husband hunt!!!!!" 

                                                      It paid off, Julie, in dividends I cannot begin to enumerate!!!!!!!!!

                                                      As far as the day to day grind, the film is still somewhat representative.  But, as I watched it this time, at one point, I said to myself, "This is why I am the Raving Queen!"  When I started this blog, in 2007, I really wasn't sure what to do with it; I had originally intended it to be a repository for whatever fiction I had written--which would take some time to transpose on here.  When I first saw "Julie and Julia," and heard Amy Adams say, "I could have a blog!", I thought the same thing.  Except, I already had one,.  As 2009, and my viewings of this film, dragged on, the blog began to morph into this Gay chronicling you see before you.  By the end of 2009, I found I had written more in that year than in '07 or '08.  And this year I think may outdo last year.

                                                        And I owe it all to "Julie and Julia".  So thank you.

                                                        But there is that cooking thing.  The first time out, I never got around to the things I wanted to attempt--Beef Bourguignon, Chicken With Mushrooms In White Wine  Cream Sauce, and Raspberry Bavarian Cream.  Watching the film yesterday fueled me up to  do this again, only I am  going to follow an example set by Amy Adams in the movie. I am going to give myself a deadline.

                                                           Like Julie Powell, I am giving myself the deadline of one year. By Labor Day, 2013, I expect to have prepared each of these recipes, written about and photographed them, for all my girls!!!!!!!!!!  One year, and three recipes????????? I should be able to do that; I have neither the stamina or the culinary experience of Julie Powell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But this???? I think I can handle it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              So, wish me luck, darlings!!!!!!!  And, thanks again, "Julie and Julia."  Not to mention Meryl and Amy.  You all keep me going in your own ways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                 Yummy, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is Not About The Beatles, Girls, But...............

            
                            ......there is a rather slight connection, which is why I make reference to them in this post.

                                    Sunday eve, after what was a very relaxing day, Monsieur and I decided to dine at the place pictured above, the Greenhouse Cafe!  It was absolutely charming, with 1940s style dining rooms, French door windows, and white tablecloths.  Like walking into another era, which is just fine by me, darlings, because, when it comes to class and manners, darlings, this era sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       We had dined heavily the night before, at our favorite Italian eatery, Vesurvio. So we decided to go light at the Greenhouse. But, let me tell you, darlings, this is the sort of place you want to return to on a cold Winter's night, because so many of the meat and vegetable dishes are enshrouded in Hollandaise or Bearnaise sauce.   A little faux French cuisine never hurt anyone, loves!!!!!
Better this, than the Olive Garden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           So, what did we have?  Monsieur had the broiled seafood platter, with rice and mixed veggies.  I had the rice and mixed veggies, but a Chicken Francaise, that was so buttery it was heaven!!!!!  We were filling up before we were halfway through our meal.

                                             Which was the point at which all things connected.  Into our dining room came this ersatz couple.  The man looked like John Lennon on the "Hey, Jude!" album cover, seen above, except he was also clutching an ice pack to his head!!!!!!!!!  The woman was slovenly, heavy, (I did not really get a good look at her, but Monsieur, who was facing them, did, and this was the impression gleaned!!!!) and had sagging breasts that, if perky enough, might have outdone Dolly Parton!!!!!!!  But she did not look like the kind who could afford to cosmeticize, like Dolly!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               In fact, I am not sure if they could afford anything on the menu at all. Almost immediately after sitting down, they ordered a beer, and, I can tell you, it was neither's first beer of the day!  Nor the last!  They began to talk, argue and harangue in a level, that, had others been seated, would have annoyed the customers, and maybe gotten them booted outta there!  But with just Monsieur and myself there, it was perversely entertaining!

                                                  Only snatches of dialogue were caught--"Why don't you look at me?"
"I'm gonna go and sit at the bar?"  "I'm not giving you five thousand dollars, so you can meet some prick!"  Real class, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     They were loud, and, I think, inebriated, to the point where they had no idea they were causing such a ruckus.  I felt sorry for the staff who had to wait on them, and I wonder, if, after we shortly left, they were booted outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Because, when we got outside, we surreptitiously peeked through the window at their table, to see what was going on.  By this point, the fight had escalated, both were shouting, and the man was standing, and I feared any second things would come to blows!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            To top this off, Monsieur gave the impression that the bar stools were a row of women seated across, like the dance hall girls in "Sweet Charity!"  He said when we walked by, we were eyed!   "Why?, " I asked?  "Were they fag hags?"  According to him they were looking for pickups, and we looked prime!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              Which made me laugh, because, honeys, if you have read this blog long enough, or even this far for your first time, you must know these ladies would be barking up the wrong trees!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, why else would I call myself, "The Raving Queen?????"

                                                                   However, don't let this derail you from the charm and cuisine of the Greenhouse Cafe.  I don't know if these two are regulars; hopefully they are not, but if so, next time I would simply request they or we be moved to another location!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                      They would do much better, over at the Three Jolly Pigeons!!!!!!!!  However, maybe they had already been thrown out of there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                         "Doo Judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah, judah...Owwwwwwwwwwwww  Wowwwwwwwwwwwww!"