Girls, I Am Telling You, One Cannot Underestimate The Importance Of Harry Winston!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           On our recent, very dramatic trip, into Manhattan, on Thursday, I could not help by being impressed with how fortuitous the Express Bus was.  For it deposited me directly in front of two landmarks dear to my heart, and, I know, so many of yours--Henri Bendel, and Harry Winston!!!!!!!!!

                            Harry Winston?????  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!  I simply HAD to take a peek in all the windows.  There was this gorgeous broach, girls, that would look  gorgeous on any of us, but in one window I saw what I wanted for my birthday, and I am going to show it all to  my darlings right now!!!!!!!!!!

                              There it is!!!!!!!!!!!  A beautiful, diamond encrusted, Harry Winston wristwatch!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine??????????  I mean, how Liberace!!!!!!!!!!!  Not that I ever looked upon him as a  role model, but you have to admit, if he saw this, he would certainly have bought it.  He had the means to!!!!!!!!
If not for him, for his mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               But this is what I want, loves!!!!!!!!! Or, a gift certificate to buy it with.  I figure, what $5000????????  Start collecting now, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I'll bet repairing it is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!  So let us hope it is long lasting!!!!!!!!!!  I promise to model myself in it for you all, if I get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Marilyn was right!  Diamonds really ARE a girl's best friend!!!!!!!!!!  And so is Harry Winston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

It Is Down To Between These Two, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               With November just blithely marching along, in spite of Hurricane Sandy, it is time to get serious about where I am going to dine on my birthday.  I still want help from all my darlings, but, to make things less complicated, I have narrowed the options down to two--one in Manhattan, the other in Brooklyn.

                                 The one in Manhattan is Harry Cipriani.  The idea of sampling the Original  Bellini, and being seen where one has to BE seen, is most appealing.  And it is for a special occasion, so what could be

more special than this?????  But, like I said, trekking into the city, and having to dress in exclusive designer dress, makes one hesitant, as, the older one gets, the greater the importance of comfort and convenience.  Even Anna Wintour would not argue with that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The other selection, picture above, Chadwick's, seems warm and cozy for a Sunday birthday dinner; and just look at that 1940's decor!!!!!!!!!!  Don't you just love all those French doors????????   This place I could get away with my designer knockabouts, so it has the elegance, but also the comfort and convenience one craves at a later age!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 So, which one will it be, dolls???????  You tell me!  You have until midnight
November 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Kiss, kiss, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, How Come This Book Was Never Optioned For The Screen?????????????

                                     To think, darlings, this novel is twenty years old, which means Ann Patchett has been at it  for quite awhile, and look at what she has accomplished--I mean "Bel Canto?"  Oh, my God!!!!!!!
And the issues it examines!

                                      Written from three perspectives, the reader follows Rose,  a young, California wife, married to one Thomas Clinton.  Pregnant with their first child, she departs on her own, shortly after discovering this, and ends up in Habit, Kentucky, at Saint Elizabeth's Home For Unwed Mothers.  This takes place in the 1960's, when places such as these still existed , but were on their way out because the times, they were a changin'.  Even in the novel, St. Elizabeth's is often mentioned as the last of its kind.  Rose, assisted by Sister Evangeline, becomes the Head Cook at the home, even after her daughter Cecilia, has been born, and she marries Son (real  name Wilson Abbot), a caretaker on the place.

                                         Son picks up the story from here, and we learn about his background, and the adolescent tragedy that causes him to so strenuously object to Rose naming the baby Cecilia.  At first an uninteresting character, once Son lets us into his story, he becomes compelling and humane.

                                          Cecilia, having reached adolescence, picks up things from here, and gives insight on what it is like growing up in such a strange place, her unusual relationship with her mother, and close, loving one with her father (who is not really her father, though she does not know that).  Things eventually come full circle, when Thomas Clinton, Rose's first husband, shows up, as Rose's mother has recently passed on.  What is interesting here is what the readers and Son know--that Cecilia and Thomas are actually father and daughter--and it is fascinating to see how Patchett handles this.

                                          The gorgeous, lyrical prose style, evokes such a sense of time and place, and the characters are so developmentally drawn, I cannot believe no one ever thought of making a film of this.  It is so adaptable, and, with the right cast and director, could follow in the tradition of things like "The Help," or "Fried Green Tomatoes," though this novel is better written than those.

                                           I loved this novel so much I devoured the last 200 pages in a single sitting. I just  had to see how it ended.  It left me satisfied and dewy-eyed, with even more admiration for Ann Patchett than I had before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          And I have just GOT to play the role of Sister Evangeline.  I could sit in the kitchen, telling those cooks what to do.   You better believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, It Is Times Like These When I Could Use A Pauline Trigere!!!!!!!!

                   
                                      Bad times like these always make me think back to former good times, darlings, when there were socialites about like Slim Keith, Babe Paley and the Baroness Pauline De Rothschild!!!!!!!!
Then we'd have none of this K-Mart crap we see today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, even some of Ruth Gordon's outfits, as Minnie Castevet, would be an improvement!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And wouldn't luncheon and other engagements be more  interesting, with gals like these around??????  I mean, I know I  do my share, but who else is there, really?????  Maybe Brini  Maxwell!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      But, if such things were possible, what would I wear????  I wish I could wear this gorgeous Pauline Trigere you are about to see--it is simply ME!!!!!!!!

                                       I mean, just look at the quality--the color, the craft!!!!!!  The lattice on top, the frill around the edges!!!!!!  Where do you see such talent like this, today!!!!!!!  Even though it is short sleeves, a gorgeous Hermes wrap would warm my arms, as well as my heart, and I would simply look so Demi-Monde!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Wonder how many of my older gals out there own some Paulines?????????
Or inherited some from their mothers, or grandmothers????????   I wouldn't ask you to part with them for anything; it wouldn't be fair, but, girls, there is no reason why I, or any of us, cannot pick our shot, take it to a dressmaker, and have it copied, just for us!!!!!!!!!!  Pauline may be dead, but her outfits, in a way, could live on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    Once I had this dress, only one obstacle blocks my way!!!!!!!!!

                                         What drink goes with this dress, at luncheon??????????????

                                   

The Saga Of My Inner BARBRA, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                   
                                 We may have not lost water or power, darlings, and thank God for that, but something was lost, as a result of Hurricane Sandy, and its resulting catastrophes--my Inner BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Two whole days I did NOT sing a note of BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!  Now, you KNOW things are not right!!!!!!!!!

                                   I just want to report that, like the MTA, She (my Inner BARBRA, that is!!!!!!)  is making a slow recovery.  At about 7:20 this morning, something just compelled me to stand up, walk to the bathroom, while Monsieur was shaving, and let out with a tentative, but pretty strong, "Hey, Mr. Arnsteeeeeeeein!!!!!!!!  Here I ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!", which bodes well for a full recovery.  Ten minutes later, I was back, going, "Listen!  I got thirty-six expressions: sweet as   pie, to tough as leather!"  Before Monsieur dashed out the door, to work, I managed a couple of lines of "I'm All Smiles," and "She Touched Me!!!!!!"  So, while I cannot say, Inner BARBRA is fully back, there is strong evidence that she is on her way to returning!!!!!!!!!  And you know I will give you a full report, once She does!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Wonder if Sandy could have silenced BARBRA, Herself????????  Bet not, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, When It Comes To Bitches, NOTHING Beats An Upper East Side Bitch!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Girls, as long as we are speaking of bitches--a subject near and dear to us all!!!!--I must apologize!!!!  Because of the little drama you are now about to hear, I could not get out this week's Bitch Of the Week post, so I shall make up for it, right now, by saying, that had I been able, there would have been absolutely no question about whom was selected--Hurricane Sandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             It was precisely because of THAT bitch, that my little drama unfolded, one that gave my hives, elevated my blood pressure slightly, and silenced--that is right, girls, SILENCED!!!!--my Inner BARBRA for Two Whole Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Bet James Brolin would wish he could have been here!!!!!!!!

                                             Anyway, here is what happened.  I am on several prescription meds, but two--Dilantin and Klonopin--are essential.  The first I take because, at an early age, I was diagnosed with Petit Mal (epilepsy!!!!), and had a seizure when I was five, which was triggered by an allergic reaction to phenobarbital that was given to me, while I was sick with a cold.  Before you could say Brooke Hayward, I convulsed, went into a coma, and, when I finally came to in the hospital, I later found out two days had gone by.  The whole thing was like a dream.  I remember sitting at my play table, coloring in a book, when I could see blackness descending over my eyes, like night over the city at the start of "Edge Of Night."  I lost my control  and began falling.  I knew I was going to hit the floor, but this is the last thing I remember till awaking in a hospital bed,  encased in an oxygen tent, with everyone looking at me.  I felt it was some kind of  a dream, and I was Dorothy at the end of "The Wizard Of Oz!"

                                             I have never had an incident like this again!!!!!!!!!  And let's just say I never want to!!!!!!!  So, on Friday, before the storm, I took my Dilantin bottle in to my pharmacy, to get refilled, only to discover it was at the point of No Refills!!!!!!  No worry--yet!!!--Jay, who is friendly and charming, gave me a couple for several days--enough to get through the storm, because--silly me!!!--I expected that by Thursday (yesterday!!!) everything would be back to normal!!!!!!!  Was I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Now, the Dilantin issue began to rear its ugly head.  So, Monsieur and I, on Tuesday, ventured out--our first time out since Sandy--to his pharmacy, the doctor was contacted, a prescription was promised, and I was told to pick it up on Wednesday at noon!!!!!!!!!  Fine!!!! Except, on Wednesday, just as I was leaving to do so, the phone rang.  It was the pharmacy!!!!  They said they could not fill my prescription--the wholesaler was in Jersey, and they did not have the brand I took!!!!! What????
Thanks, bu no thanks, I thought!  That Pharmaceutical Bitch!!!!!!!  I ought to slap her silly!!!!!  You can bet I will not even go there for moisturizing cream!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              I then went into High Panic Mode, and functional shutdown, convinced I was going to have a seizure, have to go the hospital, lose what brain cells I still have--and I was breaking out in hives!!!!!!!!!   Thank God, Monsieur is saner than I am!!!!!  He said tomorrow morning we would go into the city, with his friend, Ellen, who is glamorous, on the Express Bus!!!!! I said I am taking two books with me, because, with the ride ahead, I very well might finish one, and need to start another!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Lambs, I am telling you, what a day!!!!!!  We were up at 5, and sitting on
Ellen's couch by 6:30!!!!!!!  Now, I love Ellen's apartment, but, I am telling you, no one, I mean NO ONE, wants to be anywhere than their own place, at that hour!!!! But there were some exciting compensations.  I got to see Ellen.s enormously constructed baby Baskets and gifts, and I got to watch her apply her make-up, so I learned some very important beauty tips!!!!!!!!!!  I couldn't believe how fast it took Ellen to look gorgeous!!!!!!!!  Sweeties, it takes me HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 The bus came, we got seats, and it was stop-and-go almost  the whole way.
Almost three hours in to our destination, and then a half hour walk to my doctor and pharmacy, who both happen to be near where I work, so I was using this as a test run for commuting.  Basically, morning and evening rush hours combined, I would be commuting for seven hours!!!!!!!!!  Like, no way, Jose!!!!!!! If I am needed that badly, they can just put me up at the Pierre!!!!!!  I could walk from there, and plan out my wedding and reception with the staff, at he same time!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  We made it to the pharmacy, and their system was down, so we had
to go to my doctor, and get written prescriptions.  The noun is now plural, because, along the way, I decided, with only a week's worth of Klonopin left, (which I take for sleep, and anxiety--can you believe it?????????) I better fill that one, too.  The others I was good on, supply wise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   The prescriptions were issued, and, on the way back to the pharmacy, I ran into one of my lovely co-workers, Amy.  When she heard my tale of travel horror, she agreed--get back home, and stay there!  But, before we could, we made a stop to Gracious Homes, where Monsieur purchased this gorgeous fabric covering for our couch.  Next we went to the optics place, where my Very Expensive, Stephanie March Eyeglasses, are being readied, to see if they were; they weren't!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Now, pay close attention, because this is where the Upper East Side comes into play.  We had to go over there--around York and 86th; can you believe it??? Almost like being back in Queens!!!!--because Monsieur had to visit this glass repair place, to fix one of our pieces that broke during the storm!!!!!   Once there, we ended up having lunch at this Upper East side Diner, packed to the gills for no discernible reason than people being stranded, or having Cabin Fever!!!!!!!!!  The route to the bathroom was longer than the expanse of the diner, and we had to sit next to an alcoholic meeting with his sponsor!!!! How cheerful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    It is funny about the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  It is overrated, as far as I am concerned, and, no, darlings, I am not saying this over jealousy over  not living there. I don't think I would, even if I could!  I am strictly a Dakota Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, I am telling you, next to Hollywood, I think there are more bitches per capita there (UES) than anywhere else!!!!!!!!  Which is why, whenever I find myself there, which is not too often, my Inner Bitch takes over--the shoulders pull back, the nose goes high in the air, and the attitude is don't you DARE mess with ME!!!!!!!  Let me tell you, it is hard work, being a bitch!!!!!!  It is physically draining, and I was glad to get out of there so I could finally De-Bitch!!!!!  I don't know how those gals who live the 24/7 do it--no wonder they look so constipated!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Then we had to start back.  If I time the trip from waiting for the 5th  Avenue (Manhattan, now!!!) bus, to walking in to our Bay Ridge door, it took two-and-a quarter hours!!!!!
And this was because it was NOT rush hour, so add on another hour (or more!!!) to that, and you have roughly another three-and-one-half hours!!!!  Seven hours to commute, for a seven hour work day!!! I would be hospitalized with exhaustion, after three days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      It was only 3:15, and we were so tired from this draining trip we crashed, like we had worked a double shift!!!!!!!!!!!! I am telling you, that MTA better act fast!!!!!!!!!

                                                      But I got the meds I needed, so my health is intact, for the moment!!!!

                                                      I tell you, right now, I am feeling like Miss Mona, waiting for "The Bus From Amarillo!!!!!!!!!"

                                                   

A Little Late, Girls, But It's November!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          That nasty bitch, Sandy!  She has really put a cramp into this Queen's style!  While a break from work is always pleasant, the ennui of being stuck in one place--Bay Ridge, which thankfully, lost none of its power and amenities--is like being stuck in Brigadoon!!!!!  Only there is no Heather On The Hill!!!!!

                           Halloween was a bust!  No candy, movies--nothing!  Yesterday was November 1, which is also All Saint's Day, and, thanks to Sandy, that could barely be acknowledged, thanks to a little drama of yesterday, which you will be hearing about shortly!!!!!!!!  And today happens to be All Souls Day, so I am
at least going to pop in to some kind of House of Worship, to remember all those in my life who have departed, and, most likely, are  waiting on the Other Side, to give me THEIR comments on how I lived my life on this one!

                             And, of course, there is Thanksgiving, which, let's face it, now REALLY commences the Holiday Season, and Musical Theater Week, which  is from the 13th to the 19th, and includes the birthdays of "Chorus Line-ers" Sammy Williams (13) and Donna McKechine (16).  And on the 17th, Neva Small--yes, darlings, Neva Small, she's not a little girl, any more, though she will always be ours!!!!--hits the big 60!!!!!!!!!  Can you believe it????????????

                             Oh, and, of course, darlings, I have a birthday this month!!!!!!!!!!!!  And my PROFESSIONAL age will still be 24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But this bitch, Sandy, sure makes me wonder how it will be celebrated, because if the damn MTA doesn't get its act together, and get the trains running again, quite a few of us New York bitches are going to balk!!!!!!!!  And Monsieur and I have tickets for the 11th--a week from this Sunday!!!--to see "The Mystery Of Edwin Drood," with Jessie Mueller!!!!!!!!  Jessie Mueller, lambs!!!!!!!!  I better not miss this!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Then, there is the question of birthday dining!  Some of the candidates are in Manhattan, and two are in Bay Ridge, so, to help me decide, I want to make this a contest.  I will tell you the restaurants, their assets, and ask you to decide which place should be chosen..  The winner, both restaurant and person, will be announced a week from today, and the prize is a subsequent dinner, at said place, with yours truly, the Raving Queen!

                                So here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                MANHATTAN
                                1. One If By Land, Two If By Sea--That old romantic standby,
                                 darlings.  You have  heard me enough on this already!!!!!!!!!!

                                2. Harry Cippriani--They practically invented the Bellini, darlings,
                                and this is one place where, if you are ANYONE in town, you
                                have just GOT to be SEEN!!!!!!!!  So I think it is high time
                                I made an appearance!!!!!!!!!

                               3. Daniel--I have been down the cuisine road with Mister
                               Boulud before, when, 21 years before I dined at the old
                               Le Cirque!  Let's say I was not all that impressed.  I can
                               only hope Daniel would be an improvement, though its
                               point in favor, right now, is its supposedly famous
                               Chocolate Dacquoise!!!!!!!!!


                                 BAY RIDGE
                                 1. Gino's--Located on 5th  Avenue and 74th Street, in the
                                  heart of Bay Ridge, I hear this is like going to a celebrity
                                  spot!!!!!!!  And you know what a celeb I am, loves!!!!!!!!
                                  A family tradition, since 1964--1964!!!!!!  Can you
                                 believe that, darlings????  Some of you weren't even
                                 born, then!  And I was still barely a virgin!!!!!!!!!!!!  It
                                 is also, I am told, one perfect spot for special occasions!
                                 And what occasion could be more special, loves?????

                                 2.  Chadwick's--About 14 blocks north, over on 3rd
                                 Avenue, I have walked past it countless times, and, from
                                 the outside, looking in, have always been impressed by
                                 its 1940's look.  A glance at the menu selections recalls
                                 that decade, too!!!!!  I am telling you, girls, from the
                                 looks of things, if I go here, I expect to be greeted
                                 and served by Dorothy McGuire!!!!!  If not, I am sure
                                 her spirit pervades over the place, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                 So that's it, dolls!  You let me know!  Added to the mix--my birthday falls on a Sunday
this year, which always complicates things, and is weird.  At the Manhattan places, especially
Cippriani;'s or Daniel, I am going to have to pull out my top flight, off the rack, designer outfits, to be seen in!!!!  At the Bay Ridge locales, I can make do with my designer knockabouts!!!!!!!

                  But the decision is yours, dolls, and I will abide by it!  You will get a picture and a full report of the event when it takes place.  Meanwhile, here we are in the Eleventh month, which means once we get pass my birthday, we go into Year Wind-Down, where everything speeds up, like a silent movie, played at the wrong speed!!!!!!!!  And then we have January 1, and Monsieur's Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                 For now, Happy November, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!