Girls, I Have Just GOT To Be Seen, For The Role Of Regina George!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   I am, like, SO perfect for it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The latest word on the Rialto is that Tina Fey, Neil Benjamin and Jeffrey Richmond are combining talents to create a Broadway musical adaptation of Fey's 2004 classic film, "Mean Girls!!!!"
I want to play Regina George!  This is my dream--imagine!!!!!!--a Singing Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Who could do this better than yours truly?????????

                                        The word on the street is that Amanda Seyfried is interested in this role!  All I can say is--Bitch, get off my block!  Listen, Amanda, your ingenue days are over, especially after trying to play Linda Lovelace, which did not exactly work out--even Lindsay Lohan had sense enough not to go near THAT!!!!!!--and how do you expect to sing onstage, what with all the voice augmentation that had to be done just to make you somewhat presentable in both "Les Miserables" and "Mamma Mia?????????"

                                          Come on, Amanda, you have had it!  Let a pro step in, and take over!!!!!!!!!  I have a lifetime of memories to draw on for this part, girls, and you just know Regina's songs will be the best!

                                             And there is no question I would be the best Regina!  This could win me a TONY Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             "What do you mean I'm not invited to her party? Who does she think she is?"


                                 

Why Does This Photo Of Mandy Patinkin Resemble A Post Office "Wanted" Poster?????????

                                            There might be more truth here than meets the eye, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Mandy Patinkin is all over the place these days, making big apologies for what he calls his "abominable" behavior.  I wouldn't call it  that, at all.  I call it simply being Mandy Patinkin.

                                               The question is, why he feels the need to do this?  It is not regret or humility; I can tell you that.  His career must be nose diving; let's face it, the last couple of concerts he has done have been with Patti Lu Pone, and you know who was doing all the work there!  Patti was carrying Mandy; these days, if it was just him on the bill, no one would show up.

                                               Now, the thing is, I like Mady Patinkin. He blew me away the first time I saw him, back in 1980, in "Evita."  Patti, by the way, was there, too, and while it was clearly her show, he held his own nicely.  He was terrific in the underrated film "Daniel" (1983), based on E.L. Doctorow's fictional account of the Rosenbergs, "The Book Of Daniel."  And he was brilliant as Seurat in "Sunday In The Park With George," even though it marked something of a breakthrough for Bernadette Peters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                It's just that it is too possible to have too much of Mandy. That is because he is a performer of skilled technique, but that is all he is--technique. Unlike Lu Pone and others, there is no warmth, no chemistry, that allows him to connect with performers. And he exudes arrogance.  He has the talent to back it up, but without any sort of warmth, (even BARBRA can turn it on, when she wants to, and it best serves her!!!!!) Mandy, for all his brilliance, leaves audiences cold.

                                                  Which could account for his behavior. People do not respond to him the
way they do others, or the way he feels they should respond to him, and he throws a hissy fit!!!!!!!!!!!  Bitch, get with it!  Don't you know you are being your own worst enemy????????

                                                     I recall a time when Mandy and I actually crossed paths.  He approached my desk, propped himself down on it, like he was entitled, and proceeded to ask me questions.  It wasn't the questions he asked; I answered them adeptly enough but what was palpably emanating from him--this plea to be noticed.  "Notice me!  Notice me!," he seemed to scream.  He and I both knew I knew who he was, and, because he was so arrogant, and wanted to be acknowledged so badly, I chose not to.  I was polite, but at no point did I call him "Mr. Patinkin."  Boy, that must have pissed him off!  I hope so, Mandy!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Now, he wants to kiss and make up!  Well, to revise Diana Barrymore, darlings. I say, "Too Little, Too Late!"  You should have done this years ago, Mandy, for it to have any credibility.  Now, it still seems like the kind of grandstanding you have always been famous for!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        "Oh, Mandy!
                                                          Well you came and you gave without taking!
                                                           And I sent you away, oh Mandy!"
                                                              --Barry Manilow, "Mandy" (1974)

                                                           You and the Wicked Queen from "Snow White" must have the same Magic Mirror, dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                   

Girls, There Are Two Very Good Reasons To STILL See "It Conquered The World!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                        There was much to anticipate at last night's screening of this Roger Corman classic, darlings, not the least of all was Cucumbo, the unquestionable star of the film!

                                           One thing I had forgotten in the years since I last saw this was the importance of Beverly Garland's wardrobe.  In almost every scene she is in, she wears a different outfit.  And she is the only one.  Considering the budget this was made on, I would bet that some, if not most, of her wardrobe, were from her own closet!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Long before Brad Pitt showed up on the scene, Peter Graves was doing something of the same thing here.  Not once does his hair deviate from its perfect appearance; not even when he is speeding through rocky roads towards military bases and mysterious caves!  One wonders how he kept it all in place.  Maybe with the same lacquered stuff that Ann Miller used??????????

                                              You have to hand it to the actors, who play the entire thing straight.  Some of this dialogue is from hunger!  When Lee Van Cleef, as the scientist the Venusians are trying to butter up, because he has an inflated ego, says "That alien is a personal friend of mine!," the laughter throughout the theater was contagious and infectious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But everyone delivers these corkers as though they were Meryl Streep performing Shakespeare.  How they managed to keep a straight face is beyond me; I, for one, could not do it!  Even "Valley Of The Dolls" has more credibility.

                                                  Once Cucumbo takes center stage, the audience erupts into applause.  The absolute highlight is when an enraged Beverly Garland, rifle in hand, approaches him, saying, "So this is what you look like?  Well, you're ugly and horrible!  I'll see you in Hell first!"  She fires, but Cucumbo, who is simply lonesome, goes to hug Bev--how can he resist??????-- but, alas, he hugs a little too hard, which means people die!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  And how about those flying control devices that come out from underneath Cucumbo's leafy foliage on bottom, like the polichinelles emerging from Mother Ginger's dress????????  Monsieur thought they looked like flying sting rays; I am still not sure what they are!

                                                   Cucumbo was just a poor misunderstood creature!  A wounded bird, who just wanted love, but got none!  He never even got another movie, although his image is seen on the wall of the residence of Peter Drumond, the deranged make-up artist hell-bent on revenge in 1958's "How To Make A Monster."  He was played by Robert H. Harris, who went on to screen immortality nine years later as theatrical attorney Henry Bellows in "Valley Of The Dolls." ("Let's skip the personalities, shall we?????")

                                                    Really, dolls, this film has to be seen to be believed. And it holds up well--it actually has pacing, and structure and suspense.  Better than "Mothra."

                                                      I have tried to impress upon Monsieur, who was at a loss for words after seeing the film, that we should have a dinner party, where, instead, of serving a salad, everyone gets their own, individual, vegetable made Cucumbo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        The trouble is, it will be so cute, who would want to eat it?????????

This Week, A Fun, Fictitious, Somewhat Obscure Bitch, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       This week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is not actress Carolyn Jones (we LOVE Carolyn, girls!!!!!!!!!!) but an obscure character she played, on an obscure television show, called "Bracken's World," named Paula Shannon!

                                         "Bracken's World" was a TV series that premiered in September of 1969, on NBC, Friday nights, at 10 PM.    It was big, lavish, and purported to give an insider's view of Hollywood to us industry outsiders.  It ran for a season-and-a-half, being cancelled, sometime in December of 1970.

                                             However, it did not take much to realize two things about it.  This show was trying to ride on the coattails of the already camp popularity of the 1966 novel and 1967 film, "Valley Of The Dolls."   I am surprised Jacqueline Susann was not recruited to write scripts.  Maybe she was, but I bet her price was too high. Smart girl, that Jackie.

                                              The show was actually a portrait of a bunch of losers.  Eleanor Parker, who got top billing, and looked great, played Sylvia Caldwell, whose father, David, had once been the head of the studio being portrayed, Century Pictures, and who is now SO content to work as Executive Secretary to the current head, Mr. Bracken.  He never appeared on camera, but, foreshadowing "Charlie's Angels," was heard only in voice.  I have no idea who did his voice; if any of you girls do, kindly let me know.

                                                And remember, in 1969, Eleanor was a very mature looking 47, not like what you would think of as someone that age today. So, it was highly unlikely she was giving this studio head any head!!!!!!!!!!!  But you should have seen the office she had--Oscars on her desk, a gigantic room--it would be the envy of any Exec Sec working today.  I bet even ANNA would be impressed!

                                                  The ones giving head were the starlets--Laraine Stevens as Diane, Linda Harrison as Paulette, and Karen Jensen as Rachel.  Laraine's character, Diane, who had the potential looks, was being groomed as a future Grace Kelly.  Laraine herself had the looks too; too bad her career did not go anywhere.  But neither did Linda's or Karen's, who were just your typical Hollywood sexploitation babes, and who are now very likely working as maids cleaning rooms in third rate Hollywood motels!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    The men were no better. Dennis Cole, with his obviously dyed hair, had some potential, but that hair made him look as gay as all get out; the sort that collects women's panties because he wears them!!!!!!!!!!!  Like lots of allegedly straight men.  Then there was Peter Haskell, as director Kevin Grant, who was the studio sycophant, and Sylvia's "Yes" man.

                                                     None of these people were going anywhere on this show, and none of them went anywhere, afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Now, the episode featuring Carolyn Jones as Paula Shannon was called "King David," and its meaning was twofold--it was how Sylvia's father was referred to, when he ran Century Pictures, and it was the name of one of the films that Paula did for David at the studio.

                                                       Apparently, Paula had a checkered history at the studio, and with Sylvia's father.  She is less a Norma Desmond, and more a self-destructive Garlandesque figure--or at least Garland, as perceived by the public, back then.  You have got to see that awful wig they put on Carolyn Jones throughout the episode; it's like a bad hat from a bargain basement store.  And Carolyn, who was playing this post-Morticia Adams, was too old to be wearing the short skirts Paula is seen in. Or maybe that was just part of Paula's character.  But Jones is the best thing about the episode--every look is withering, every line of dialogue she utters drips vitriol!!!!!!!!!  You just GOTTA love her, darlings!!!!!!!!!  She is one of the great, obscure bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        The Testimonial Dinner scene, where she accuses David, to his face, of starring her in formulaic pictures and putting her on pills, not to mention ruining her first marriage, when it is perfectly obvious she did a fine job of it, herself, is priceless!!!!!!!!!  So is the pockmarked hunk named Tom, who may look great from the neck down, but couldn't a decent make-up man do something about that face?????????????  Carolyn's skin looked better than his!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          The only disappointing thing about the episode is its abrupt ending. Paula really does not get a comeuppance; if I understand it right, the studio writes her off, takes her off the picture, and pays for her to reside at the Motion Picture Country House, where Sylvia's father, David, (played by the great character actor Jay C. Flippen!!!!!!!) resides, and where she just plays her last scene as a good sport, resigned to her fate, which is not in sync with what went before.

                                                            Maybe someone, like Eleanor Parker, thought Carolyn was stealing the show, that audiences would be clamoring for more of her character.  And that would be right!  Paula Shannon should have been bought back again and again.  Definitely, Carolyn's best turn since Marsha, Queen Of Diamonds, on "Batman!"

                                                             Paula Shannon is one bitch you just gotta love dolls!!!!!!!  A role model for ME, you better believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              And with more pizazz than Paula Zahn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


               

I Was Wondering How The Show Would Handle This! And They Did It Beautifully!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    When someone dies an untimely death, it is always sad. But, when that death is compounded by its being a suicide, it is a double tragedy.  So, it was with great upset I learned the other day of the death of Lee Thompson Young, only 29, but possessing a polish and maturity beyond those years, who played Detective Barry Frost on my Tuesday night never-miss show, "Rizzoli And Isles."

                                      Which made watching last night's episode, "No One Mourns For The Wicked" unbearably poignant. Every time Frost appeared on camera, each time that camera went in for a close-up, it was almost as if the creators KNEW even then, though, of course, there was no way that they could.

                                            Having been impacted by the suicide of someone I once knew (not Tyler Clementi, but someone I actually DID know, and worked with) I can guess what the family and cast and
crew members must be going through, and I do not envy them.  I kept wondering, all through the show, if it was going to be acknowledged in some way, and when, at the end, the window card appeared, reading
"In Loving Memory Of Lee Thompson Young, 1984-2013," plus a series of photos I was touched.  Very moving, though now comes the hard part--how to explain the character's absence from the show, and the question of whether or not he will be replaced.  That remains to be seen.  But, for us longtime "Rizzoli And Isles" fans, the memory of Barry Frost will not fade easily, thanks to Lee's performance.

                                               Maybe there will be a Memorial Service, with Lorraine, as Angela, speaking the eulogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


crew mem

The Wicked May Not Be Mourned, Darlings, But Bring Back This Sick Bitch To The Show!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Last night's episode of "Rizzoli And Isles," entitled "No One Mourns For The Wicked," might be the this season's best, and most poignant, episode.  For the latter, wait for the next post, which will explain this.

                                 But, girls, if you are one of those folk, like me, whose avocation is serial killers, this was the episode for you.  It started out with Jane and Maura doing a recreational presentation of a crime scene to a panel of law enforcement professionals.  The case involved was one close to Jane--a couple murdered by her personal nemesis, serial killer Charles Hoyte, played by Michael Massee in a dream sequence so chilling it had me squirming.  Not only for his performance, but for this little boy, (meant to represent Charles as a child, perhaps????) who had a stranglehold on this adorable puppy.  It was almost too much.

                                   They are joined at the presentation by Dr. Victoria Nolan, a renowned forensic
psychologist, who has written a book called "The Three Faces Of Evil," profiling some renowned serial
killers, chief among them Jane's deceased nemesis, Charles Hoyte.  Which is what triggers the dream. However, the performance of the evening here is given by guest star Jessica Tuck as Dr.Victoria Nolan, the sickest bitch you could ever hope to see, and I hope we do, indeed see more of her.

                                    Dr. Nolan, at first, drips sugar and spice; dining with Jane and Maura, gorging of Angela's homemade lasagna. answering the latter's questions about her profession and the nature of serial killers.  Quite a lot is learned about them here, for those who do not already know--the abused childhoods, the ability to blend into any social fabric, and the fact--and this is important for this particular episode--that when a serial killer is female, they work in teams.  Think about it--Myra Hindley and Ian Brady, Charles Starkwether and Caril Fugate, Martha Beck and Raymond Fernandez; the last two known as the "Lonelyhearts Killers," and whose story was turned into the camp classic "The Honeymoon Killers" (1969), with Shirley Jones and Tony LoBianco!!!!!!!!!!  What a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that is "The Honeymoon Killers," not "The Honeymooners," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Everything is going fine at the presentation, until the discovery is made that the two dummies created to replicate the victims are not dummies, but actual bodies--of security guards on duty.  A crime scene is roped off, meaning the killer of these two is in the midst.

                                       I want to tell you, when that assistant, Jack (played by Nick Gehlfus) showed up as part of Dr. Nolan's book promotion entourage, I knew instantly he was involved.  And I thought he was THE ONE.  Except the writers had something more insidious in mind.

                                        Through some feminine wiles, Dr. Nolan charms Lieutenant Vince Korsak (Bruce McGill) into inviting her and Jack over to his house  for coffee, to see his beloved dogs, as she professes to being an avid dog lover.  The next thing we know, Korsak is tied up in his basement to pillars, so that the whole thing has the visual look and feel of an S and M club.  With both Dr. Nolan and Jack cracking the whip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          It turns out that in the course of this investigation, there was this young girl, whose family was murdered, say twenty years ago.  The girl was never found, because, being young, she went into the foster care system.  It turns out that the girl was Victoria Nolan, and, in an odd way, she had reason to murder her parents.  For years, her father was sexually abusing her, while her mother simply looked the other way.  When Daddy impregnated Daughter, the baby, a boy, was put up for adoption.  After getting rid of her parents, and growing to adulthood, the deranged psychologist tracked her son down, and made her into what she now was--a serial killer--by teaching him to systematically strangle puppies with no emotional detachment!  Some mother love, huh??????  These two outdo Sante and Kenny Kimes.  And you know how much we just love them, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Korsak, to buy time for his pups, as well as himself, goads Jack about being a Mama's boy, and it almost works.  But THIS Mama, with a steel plated heart, shoots her own son instead.  Just as Jane rushes in, and shoots Victoria, but she is alive, as she is handcuffed, and taken away.

                                              Like I said, Jessica Tuck stole the show as Victoria.  Her monologue on her evolution into a serial killer is one of the best basic explanations for one I have ever heard.  The writers had certainly done their homework, and, by keeping her alive, I hope Dr. Nolan is brought back in a future episode.  What a nasty piece of work she is!!!!!!!!!!  You know we just LOVE her, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                However, I would not want to be her patient.  This episode was SO good, that, when it is repeated before the new one next Tuesday at 8PM, I think I will watch it.

                                                  It was just a fun filled evening, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




 

There Is Absolutely NO Excuse For This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            When I first heard about this, darlings, I was going to save it for Bitch Of The Week on Thursday, as it takes bullying to a new level!  A Canadian woman wrote to the grandmother of an autistic child, Max Begley, 13, inferring that because the child is "a nuisance, no good, etc." he should be euthanized for his own good, and the good of this neighborhood!

                                                The first thing I want to know is--who is the cowardly bitch who wrote this letter????  Because I would name her, and she should be charged with something!  The second thing I want to know is--who the hell does she think she is?

                                                   Personally, I would rather have someone autistic or handicapped individual  living in my neighborhood, than some deranged nut!  Once again--how many times can I say it???-incidents like this point out the merits of the Salem Witchcraft Trials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Not to mention this rubs me in a personal way.  Thirty four years ago, as my mother was dying in the hospital of terminal cancer, an anonymous letter came to her.  It was addressed simply "Mrs. Hearn/St. Peter's Hospital/New Brunswick, New Jersey."  It was anonymous, but to this day I can recall its contents. It went--

                                                 "Dear Mrs. Hearn,
                                                                             I am very sorry that you have
                                                   cancer, and you don't have long to live, but I want
                                                    you to know we are all praying for you.  Now maybe
                                                    your son will be a man and go to work to help you and
                                                    your husband.
                                                                         Our best to you,
                                                                              Your neighbors"

                                   To compound anonymity, the note was written in pencil, on lined paper, making it out as though it had been written by a child.  But the psyche behind it was anything but  juvenile.

                                    The identity of the writer has never been satisfactorily revealed; for all I know,  this person is deceased. And the person I believe it was actually IS--my uncle, Bill Liddy, who had a falling out with my father, due to something he did to me that upset our family, and which is why there is all this family animosity--beneath the surface, of course, but nevertheless--between  myself and my cousin Judy, the daughter who is most like him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I hope the Begley family gets the kind of justice mine did not.  But, then, perhaps I a getting justice, of a sort, , by exposing this on here!  Whatever, both were inexcusable deeds, and I hope the one in the present day does not go unpunished.

                                      As for the one in the past, rest assured, darlings!!!!!!  I will take care of that, when the time comes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Heh-Heh-Heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!