Darlings, Let's Talk About The Situation In Japan!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, it is just terrible what has happened, and is going on, over there. It is easy to talk of earthquakes and tsunami, especially if you want to cover up the real underlying cause of it all. And The Raving Queen, dolls, knows, first and foremost, what that cause is, and why it is happening.

But first, the evidence speaks for itself. Massive shifting of earth, tumbling buildings and everything in sight, tsunami waves, especially along the coastal areas; darlings, as far as I am concerned, that can only point to to one thing.

It must have been......Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An enormous beast who comes out of the water to wreak havoc on land, especially when he is NOT happy about things. Which is certainly the case.

Now, I expect my girls would know, but some may not, so let me explain that Gojira is the more prosaic Japanese name for the dumbed down creature known to Americans more familiarly as.....Godzilla!!!!!!!! But after seeing the ORIGINAL 1954 masterpiece at the Film Forum, where things were not dumbed down, the anti-war message came through, and, best of all, there was no Raymond Burr, he will never be known to me as anything else but!!! To think Raymond Burr's name in this dumbed down version was.......Steve Martin!!!!!!!! What a hoot!!! Too bad it was not the real Steve!!!!!!!!!

But, as I said, ever since seeing the orginal film, I always refer to the creature as his true name....Gojira!!!!!!! Which is more effective, anyway!!!!!!!!

The whole thing is a social and moral problem. For centuries, the inhabitants of Odo Island, whose coastal areas Gojira inhabits, have, each Spring, performed a native ceremony of dance and tribute, culminating with a young girl being put out to sea on a raft, as an offering to Gojira...who is appeased, and there is no trouble. And said young girl is always a virgin!!!!!!!! Apparently, it must be getting tough to find virgins even on Odo Island, so Gojira is acting up!!!!!! I wonder if Odo Island has the Internet? The whole thing is a break down in morals, that has to be rectified. If chastity is not restored there, Gojira will continue to wreak havoc!!!!!! I mean, he knows who is a virgin, and who not!!!! He wants no tramps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, you see darlings, Gojira has been attacking Japan in a feeding frenzy, fueled by sexual longing. If something is not done soon, it will only get worse. I suggest mass isolation of nubile women till 18 (on Odo Island, that is) when they will have a continual sacrificial pool for Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's face it, darlings, it is too late for Virginity in America. Besides, we have have no Gojira to threaten us. We DO have Republicans, who are dumber and uglier, and I, personally would just as soon be devoured by Gojira than consort with a Republican!!!!! But we do not have to worry!!!!!!!!!!

So help Japan, darlings!!!!!!! Send them as many chastity belts as can be rounded up, because, as I have said here before, the convents are NO guarantee!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira is no dummy, darlings. And he was not too happy about Joseph E. Levine dumbing down his story for American distribution!!!!!!!

Welcome to Kanogowa, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!