Happy Purim, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, believe me, I am coming to this as a novice!!!!!! Would you believe there was a time when I did not know the difference between "purim" and "pogrom?"
Honestly, there was this one time years ago, when I was very young, where a Jew For Jesus handed me a pamphlet, and I looked at him, and asked, "Did you do your pogrom, last night?" He looked at me with a combination of hurt and anger. I think "purim" was the word I was going for, but it came out "pogrom," which I thought then was an interchangeable term!!!! Imagine my mortification, when I found out, loves!!!! But, I mean, this was well before I was reading Chaim Potok, when all my knowledge of Judaism came EXCLUSIVELY from the Original Broadway Cast Album of "Funny Girl!!!!!!"

So it was armed with greater knowledge that Monsieur and I attended last night's Purim celebration at the Actors' Temple!!!! A poster on the way in promised a "Honeymooners' Purim," which I took to mean a special ceremony for newlyweds.

What did I know???? After the service, during which the generallly dignified Rabbi Jill let lose with a series of squawks and cackles that reminded me of Martha Raye, not to mention hitting some vocal notes I had not heard since Patti LuPone first did "Evita," we were treated to a production sketch celebrating Purim, whose concept was to combine the structure of a "Honeymooners" sitcom episode, with parodied song lyrics set to melodies from "Grease."

I had to worry; from where I was sitting, I saw the script pages, and I feared we were in for something as long as "August:Osage County." Some of the performers were quite engaging, especially the guy playing Ralph Kramden, Doug, doubling as piano accompanist and Ed Norton (who was spot on in his Art Carney impersonation), and Florence, looking like Rollereena off skates, as Alice's Mother!!!!!! The highlight of the evening was Rabbi Jill, who, dressed in a gorgeous flowing gown, threw herself into the musical comedy with such verve I honestly expected she was going to burst forth and do "The Music And The Mirror" from "A Chorus Line."

But that was just onstage. The other show was in the audience.

First, if some of these people were critics, theater might not exist!!!!!!
Poor Herb, crammed into the front, seemed so uncomfortable, I thought we would have to leave early. David, the guy next to me, not only slept through most of it, but then left before it was over; as Monsieur explained to me, he had to get back by curfew or else get locked out!!!! And HE had to get past this wannabe female with her bag, who moved with the speed of a nursing home patient, who was not going to give up HER space for ANYONE!!!! Meanwhile, behind us, those two fun loving cut ups, Alvin and Lorraine, snuggled together, with Lorraine struggling to keep the sleeping Alvin from embarrassing them both. Between us, girls, I think they spent the night at Lorraine's place, but just snuggling, nothing nasty, I can tell you!!!!!!!! Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! Poor Alvin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was so much show going on both ways--on and offstage--I sometimes could not figure out where to focus. Good thing we had that chicken dinner beforehand!!!!
And the excursion to Walgren's for Herb's Slim Fast cleared our minds afterwards. Only, honey, Herb does not need Slim Fast!!!!! All he needs is to do "A Chorus Line," which I could certainly teach him!!!!!!

But a joyous Purim evening was had by all!!!! Who knew being Jewish could be such fun???? All us Catholics do is scrub stone floors and service lepers!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, in the immortal words of BABS, it was more fun than a bagle on a plate full of onion rolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!