Darlings, Sometimes You Just HAVE To Be A Bitch!!!!!!!!!!

So, girls, just a block from Monsieur's there is is this hitherto lovely restaurant called the Paris Commune. It used to be on Bleecker Street for years, but is now on Bank. I never went to its former location, but I have gone several times with Monsieur to Bank Street, and, at least early on, we had some delightful times there. The food was served attractively, tasted exquisitely, and the lovely waiter, Cody, was so accommodating. As far back as October, we had a huge group brunch there that went off smoothly. My sister came into town, and dined with us there for Thanksgiving!!!!!!

But, darlings, sometime over the course of the turning of the year, a malign malevolence seeped into the place, coroding its quality. The service has gone down. You get your salad, water and/or wine pronto, but you have to ASK for bread???? And then a good forty minutes to an hour waiting for meals that, are frankly, basic---meat loaf and potatoes and veggies, roasted chicken, etc. I mean, come on!!!!!!

Monsieur and I had a hard day, shopping and hauling laundry and foodstuffs back and forth. My back was near broke, I can tell you!!!! And this after a full week of scrubbing convent floors, and tending to lepers!!!!!

Well, since it was close by, and we felt like a treat, we decided to treat ourselves to a visit to Paris Commune, thinking maybe things had improved, or our last visit was a temporary setback!!!!!

Girls, those lepers could have done a better job!!!!!! We had this same waiter, Mr. Entitlement, who you could tell resented being a waiter, and further resented he was not Barak Obama, even though he did not want to do any work for it!!!! We were all tired, so I was a bit cranky at the start. And after we placed our order, and the waiter came back to our table to ask AGAIN what I had ordered, I knew there was going to be trouble!!!!!! And there was!!!!!!!!!

We got our water, my wine, and salad, which I will say was delicious!!!! But then Monsieur had to ASK for bread, butter and olive oil, which should have been standard procedure!!!!! It was good, I must say!!!! But they could not even handle our friend Avive's simple request--a bowl of chicken soup, with a crust, making it look like a pot pie, and then she said it was not hot enough, and had to be sent back!!!! How do you ruin chicken soup?????? But at least Avive got her meal in a timely manner; poor and Monsieur and I sat and waited a good 45 minutes for our not very complex entrees to appear. At one point the waiter appologized for the delay, with some lame excuse about tables and kitchen, as if we were less important as customers than the larger tables. If I had had any sense, or was not tired enough to think clearly, THAT is when I would have gotten on the phone to call ANNA!!!!!!!!
Honey, the time to appologize is when you bring the meal; don't excuse the inexcusable and then make us wait FURTHER. Which is what he did!!!!!!!

The real corker was when our meals arrrived, because that is when THIS BITCH hit the fan!!!!!!!!!!!!! Neither was attractively presented; mine especially looked like vomit!!! "THIS is NOT what I ordered, " I screamed, whereupon the Maitre'D, or whatever the Hell he was, tries to defend this inadequacy by saying that it is being prrepared in a new way, and has been so for two months!!!!! Well, darling, how about making that clear on the menu???? And providing enough light to read it????
Then this pissy little tyrant gets uppity with me, when I refuse to eat something that looks like aborted frozen crap calculated to give one food poisoning, seemed to have potatoes scraped from the plate, as a second thought--"Oh, wait, don't give him potatoes!!!--and he had the nerve to suggest I should eat THIS???? Well, I tried; we had been waiting SO long, and poor Avive just had to sit through all this, having already finished her meal. It was like eating food from Goat Alley, and had no flavor.

So I tell Mr. Uppity I refuse to eat it, and he calls me rude!!!!! After the treatment, not only I, but all of us, had been getting?????? Then he offers to ake me sometjhing else???? By now it was ten o'clock; I do not have time to wait till midnight to eat!!!!! Mr. Uppity and his Toady waiter should have gone down on the floor and cleaned my shoes with their tongues!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt bad for Monsieur and Avive, who had to witness this. All I wanted was to get out of there, go home, and never come back. Which we did!!!!! And Monsieur scraped up something for me, which was infinitely betteer than the dreck this place tried to pass off!!!! I am telling you, the Good Stuff Diner is better than this; the food is always wonderful, and so is the service, especially the marvelous Valentine!!!!!

The one thing I regret NOT doing last night was marching into the ktchen, and bitch slapping the staff!!!!! Someone SHOULD have!!!! But, know that I am the Raving Queen, and knowing the power of this blog, and that they did NOT, I knew what I was going to do!!!! And so I have, and here we are!!!!!!!

Vive le revolution!!!! Down with Tyrants!!!! I am actually, thinking, darlings, of staging a protest outside there, with me dressed as Madame de Farge, knitting!!!!! Before you can say "Waverly Inn," they will be out on their fannies!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember, girls, sometimes it PAYS to be a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!