Girls, This Started Out As An Email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, let me tell you, I have done a lot of thinking about this. And it began with me contemplating sending an email to my friend, Angela--I have told you about her, girls, right????? We go back to college????? And she has stood, and stands with me in spirit, each September 12 in front of the Waverly (now the IFC Center) when I sing "Frank Mills." My subject bar was going to read "Joyce Maynard and Tyler Clementi," which I am sure would have prompted her to think, WTF???????????

For those girls who don't know, Joyce Maynard is not the reason I write--I have been doing that since grade school, but she is a factor in my writing life. Back in 1972, she published an article in the NY Times Magazine entitled "An Eighteen-Year-Old Looks Back On Life," which became the book, "Looking Back," pictured above. I am not going to recount the whole Salinger thing; you can read Joyce on that for yourselves. However, the combination of her being published and getting fame so young, plus my disagreement with her perceptions of OUR (the Baby Boomers') generation, created a wave of resentment on my part it took me years to release. Once released, I found that, despite our vantage points, there were many areas of life experience (or lack thereof) where we were on the same page.

Now, what has this to do with Tyler Clementi????? It is this--in the wake of the tragedy of his passing, Rutgers is seeking to reduce the potential for more, by creating what it calls "gender neutral" housing. which, as far as I can see, is just another euphemism for co-ed dorms. And while I agree that it is very possible for a young man and woman at that age, to cohabit with mutual respect, it would behoove the University to screen applicants beforehand, because the potential for rampant sex and all its attendant problems, not to mention another tragedy could take place. If the young woman rooming with a gay student is along the lines of, say, Molly Wei, you still have a problem.

In Joyce's more recent book, "At Home In The World," she talked about how, after the Times article appeared, and before leaving Yale for Salinger, she moved into what she called (or, more specifically, what Yale called) a "psychological single." These were rooms of one's own for those needing them. Certainly, in my time at college, such things did not exist. If I wished such, I had to go live in a room off campus, say as a boarder in someone's house. There was one exception at my college, Seton Hall, but that person was, shall we say, truly maladjusted, and he is worthy of a posting here alone, which I will save for another time.

How come, I started thinking, Yale was the only college at the time to offer this??? And why did not other colleges then, and why do not colleges now, offer this option for students in emotional need???? I think if Rutgers had had such arrangements in place, Tyler Clementi would still be alive. Being in a situation where he was still covert, even to himself, he needed as much privacy as he could get, as do all LGBT youth. So, the other day, with Tyler's six month anniversary, I started thinking of that part of Joyce's book, and hence the two came together.

I wonder what Joyce might have to say on this. Or any of my girls, for that matter; and you know you are always free to drop in!!!!!! But I think until schools are willing to go this far, the problem will not be eradicated. Gender neutral is not the answer; psychological singles are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides, girls, then you can decorate any damn way you please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!