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Saturday, September 8, 2012

Horrors In Bay Ridge, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      Along with our lovely abode, which is growing more lovely by the day, and its assorted restaurants and coffee shops, there is a darker side to Bay Ridge, one filled with inexplicable horrors. I am not talking just about the occasional sightings of the malevolent Miss T, the indeterminately aged spinster who prowls about at night, lurking in the darkness of the park near the bay overpass, from which she often emerges out of the shadows to transfix unwary male victims. Young and virulent male victims, that is!!!!!!!!!!  If you are an old codger, forget it; you're safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But there is another, more frightening presence, lurking about. Evenings, when the sun goes down, bunches of Asian women clutching shopping carts, housing what seems to be all their worldly possessions, are seen prowling about the streets, like spirits seeking a body to rest their souls in.
They are.  They are a kind of Asian vampire, and they aer looking to possess the soul of some unfortunate.  This morning, early, as I left for work, I saw one, who must have been going back to her tomb, or wherever she holes up for the day.

                                          Not one of them has paid me any mind, which is fine with me!!!!  I have no idea what the criteria for their victims are, or what can stop them. But they are a presence in the Ridge, that was not there, when I first resided here, between 1983 and 1997!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             If you must venture out at night, I can only advise you to Beware!  To be on the safe side, carry a crucifix, or some garlic!!!!!!!!!!!  If any of them should look you in the eye, simply go "Hissssss", and they will go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               And if that should fail to work, loves, get hold of some sour sushi, and throw it at them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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