The Saga Of The Missing House Keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     What a day my day off turned out to be!  Things had started normally enough--coffee, blogging, kissing Monsieur goodbye, as he dashed out the door last morning for work, just as he reciprocated with me this morning--nothing unusual.  Knowing I had a 1PM appointment with Dr. Pomerantz, my dermatologist, I showered, coiffed, and was ready to dash out the door at around 11AM.

                                         Until I went to the drawer in my night table, to retrieve my keys. That is when the saga began.  They were not there. And this was something I had not expected.  As anyone who knows me knows, I am a Creature Of Habit.  I have NEVER lost a set of keys in my life, though there were those annual Summers, back in Highland Park, New Jersey, when I would inadvertently lock myself out of the house while playing outdoors, forcing my then still small self to crawl in through a cellar screen door, which led to the annual destruction of one, much to my father's annoyance!!!!!!  That, and trying to finish off a Hot Fudge Brownie Delight from the Dairy Queen!  It would not have been  Summer in Highland Park, without these events!!!!!

                                            Of course, I went into panic mode.  I searched every nook and crevice of the apartment.  I went through the laundry basket.  I called Monsieur, distraught.  He suggested some places I hadn't looked, and I did. No go.  Then I called my workplace.  I had my desk and underneath it searched, in my cubicle.  No dice.  Even the little white shelf in the Staff Men's Room turned up nothing.

                                               I had to accept it. My keys were, mysteriously, gone.  Which meant I had to call Dr. Pomerantz, cancel, and reschedule.  I felt SO stupid. And, somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this nagging feeling that, after all this aggravation, they were going to turn up, anyway.  For the meantime, I had no choice; I was apartment bound. So, I ate some lunch, started my latest book, "The Last Dickens," by Matthew Pearl, napped, and, of course, watched a little Investigation Discovery.  What else could I do?????????

                                                 Precisely on time, Monsieur returned home from his work day, and we immediately went out to the locksmith, where fifty dollars was spent on two extra sets of keys, one I now keep in my office.  The other was to replace the set I had lost.

                                                   But, guess what, darlings?????  Go back and read the paragraph before the last one, and you will see I was right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      I was getting ready for work, this morning, picking out my ensemble--after all, this is Fashion Week, and, as the Raving Queen, I cannot afford to look any less than my best ESPECIALLY this week!!!!!!!!    Now, I had looked yesterday in both my pants pockets. But, as it turned out, pockets have crevices that sometimes hands cannot get into, so when Monsieur pulled the pants off the hanger-the very ones I am wearing now, loves!!!--he heard a rattling sound.  I thought "Uh oh!!!!!!!!!"  Sure enough, after all I had gone through yesterday, out came the keys---good as they ever were!  I was relieved, but I felt stupid.  As for Monsieur, well, he was amused, but, after spending fifty dollars on more keys, he kept affirming I am like the kid in the Tortino's Pizza Commerical (where the mother directs the kid to look in the freezer--"Left--Left--Tortino's!!!!!!!")

                                                       Well, I still have my rep for never having lost a set of keys intact!!!!!!  And, while no one is casting aspersions, Monsieur still clings to the notion of my  being like that kid in the ad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Better to lose your keys than your marbles, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!