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"I shall Never come down to Earth again!"
--Rodgers and Hammerstein
Mon petits, those magical words shall soon be heard!!!!! "Cinderella, by the great Rand H, is coming to Broadway this Winter. Victoria Clark has been cast as the Fairy Godmother; I cannot wait to see her costume, and hear her sing the classic song, "Impossible!" And Harriet Harris has been cast as the Stepmother--good choice, but she will have to go far to top Jo Van Fleet! I wish they had done one with Charles Nelson Reilly as the Fairy Godmother! Or yours truly!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, darlings, I, and my Chicago friend, David, have always had our eye on playing the Stepsisters, so we can song one of the score's greatest songs, "The Stepsisters' Lament!" I don't know if those roles have been cast yet, but, in case they haven't--hey Producers! Over here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, being the Raving Queen, lambs, I am about to start a Casting War! Laura Osnes, who starred in the ill fated "Bonnie And Clyde" musical, last season, has been cast as Cinderella! But before I am through, she is going to have her butt hauled off the stage, and a tin can is going to be tied round that nasty little broad's tail!!!!!!!!!!!!! The idea of her playing this role is absurd, when there is someone out there of far more musical brilliance who could play the part!!!!!!!!!!! And, ironically, in a way, she already has!!!!!!!!!
Of course, girls, I am talking about the Toast of Mayfair, Miss Jessie Mueller!!!!!!!!!! Right now, she in rehearsals for Helena Landless in Roundabout's 'Edwin Drood,' which is set to begin previews at Studio 54, on October 19!!!!!!! Now, I can't say for certain if this is an open ended run. It may be, although Roundabout shows at this venue are famous for being limited!
And I can tell you, hons, if Miss Osnes plays Cinderella, the run could be REAL limited! Like till after the curtain comes down on Opening Night! But, with Jessie, whose radiance and dream voice has demonstrated, time and again, her capability of carrying a show all by herself, this show would RUN!!!!!!!!!
And, as I said, she "sort of" has done the part already--albeit in "Into The Woods!" Just listen to her sing "On The Steps Of The Palace!!!!!!!!!!" This should be Broadway's R and H Cinderella, not this ex-Bonnie Parker wannabe!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just have two words for Miss Osnes--Lauren Ambrose!!!!!!! Does anyone remember her????? Of course not; my dears, if you are not out there in this town, you are gone!!!!!!!
Like Lauren. Who, awhile back, was touted to be the next Fanny Brice in the defunct "Funny Girl" revival!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all saw how far that got!!!!!!!!!!! If I had been cast, loves, the story would have been different!!!!!!!!!!! Just think of me closing each night,, with "My Man!" I am getting goosebumps, myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I recently reported, Jessie stated this was one of her dream roles. And I have no problem alternating nightly with her. To see her do this part would be to see true theatrical artistry! To see Miss Ambrose do it would have been like seeing one of the corpses on her show, "Six Feet Under," get up and perform!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I am sending a message to the producers of "Cinderella" right now--if you want your show to succeed, can that Osnes thing at once, and hire Jessie Mueller! Since the opening here is not till the end of January, I am sure she can transition easily from 'Drood' to this. The score is not that difficult to master; besides, any theater person worth anything already knows it!!!!!!!! You know I do, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessie Mueller is a star crying out for a vehicle of her own!!!!!!!!!!!!! So give her one!!!!!!!!
And Miss Osnes, get off the goddamn stage! Your five minutes are up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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