Thursday, October 31, 2013

And The Halloween Movie Of The Day Is...................


                                             Now, girls, I personally have not seen this 1988 gem, but I have been wanting to for ages, and what better time than Halloween.  Think of it as a follow-up to watching "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!!!!!!!!!!"

                                             This is basically a revenge story.  A country store owner, named Ed Harley is hit with tragedy, when his small son, is run over by a biker gang!  What kinds of monsters are these, to run over a child!  They pretend like it was an accident, but, yeah, sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Harley goes to see a witch--in films like this, there is always one luriking about; why not, in real life, when one could really use one??????  She directs him to go to an old pumpkin patch, and dig up a disfigured corpse, which she magically brings to life..........hence Pumpkinhead!!!!!!!!!!

                                                This creature then goes over the bikers who killed Harley's son.  I am sure
there is some sort of moral, and a price to pay--there is always is--but instead of watching Jamie Lee Curtis banging on doors tonight, screaming for help that is never coming, this could be that something different, which all my girls need!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  And it's not nearly as gruesome or disturbing as Sylvia Miles in "The Funhouse!!!!!!!!!!!"  Or "The Sentinel!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                    Here is to a fun Halloween, kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           


Here Is The Perfect Halloween Bitch, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Some of you may have already met Sister Sarah Jane Butler, especially if you read my recent post on the 1972 film, "Evil Come, Evil Go," which I have just GOT to see!!!!!  But, the minute I saw Sister Sarah, I knew she would be the perfect candidate for Halloween Bitch Of The Week!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And here she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Now, for those of you who need explaining, or refreshing, Sister Sarah (played by porn actress Cleo O'Hara) is a travelling evangelist, from the Midwest.  She comes to Los Angeles, because God has given her a mission.  She is the one and only member of the Sacred Order Of The Sisters Of Subjugation, and her mission is to rid the world of pleasurable sex!!!!!!!!!!!!  I kid you not, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean, in the Midwest, this could be possible; look how William Inge mined sexual repression is his successful dramatic works.  But Los Angeles?????????  Or New York????????  You have GOT to be kidding!!!!!!!!!  Sister certainly does have her work cut out for her, though!!!!!!!!!

                                       And dig that crazy getup!!!!!!!  A cross between Bette Davis as Baby Jane Hudson,  and Hayley Mills as Pollyanna.  But Sister Sarah has her ways.  Like many evangelists, she is a true sexual hypocrite.  She preaches the Gospel by day, but by night goes trolling in search of men having sex, and kills them during the act, or has sex with them herself, and then does them in.

                                         "How dare you beget in front of me?" Sister says to one unlucky couple. By then, she has recruited Sister Penny, a pathetic, overweight lesbian, who has been disowned by her family, and has a strange compulsion to obey the Sister.  So Penny becomes her acolyte, luring men to their sexual destruction, as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             You gotta hand it to Sister Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!   What an act she has going, with
that outfit and those attitudes. Her renditions of "Shall We Gather By The River," and "Bringing In The Sheaves" is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               When she says, "Get your tambourine, Sister Penny, we are going out!," you had better pick up and go!  I cannot think of anyone more appropriate for this Halloween Bitch Of The Week.  

                                                 Congratulations, Sister Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







Happy Halloween, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                        No better months say "Farewell" with the bang that both October, and December (with New Years' Eve) do.  If only the other ten, could say the same.  Anyway, what better way to kick off Halloween, and wish all my girls a happy one, then a shot of Jamie Lloyd, the seven-year-old-niece of Michael Myers, who morphs into her child murdering uncle, when he ultimately dies, at the end of "Halloween 4???????"  Too bad Jamie did not go on to establish a franchise of her own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         As for plans today, nothing special.  Just a quiet evening at home, maybe some ghostly TV, (I am going to have Monsieur tape the "Bloody Mary" program, as it is on much too late for our bedtimes!!!!!!!!!!!!)  and then some relaxation.

                                            Then we segue into November, an important month in more ways than one, as shall be soon found out.

                                              But who knows what will happen on Halloween? Or if one of us will cook up
a witch's brew??????????

                                                Did you know, darlings, that my first Halloween costume memory, pre-school, was of a yellow and white clown???????  Just think, if I had wielded that butcher knife, things might have gone down very differently in Highland Park!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Fortunately, Catholicism, and "The Song Of Bernadette" took care of all that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  But I still woke up Monsieur this morning, playing "Monster Mash, and
"Monster Mash Party."

                                                   So, have a Happy Halloween, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Heh!  Heh!  Heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Now, Here Is Something Worth Getting Up For, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                               This is only one of many beautiful views I see each morning, when I do my morning walk.  After scaring you all this week, and with Halloween coming up tomorrow, I figure I better get in some lightness between the dark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Shore Road Park is huge.  I suppose I could walk here, if I had the time, but the place I go is right off 79th, into a circular area around what in the Summer must be a children's water fountain, which marks the halfway stretch of my walk!!!!!!!   And, as I said, I stare out at the waters of the bay, and, in my head, hear Judy Collins singing "Albatross."

                 
                                       Which is something I can share with you, darlings!  It was on the very first Judy
Collins album I ever bought, and one of her best--"Wildflowers!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                              



                                             

Girls, Here Is One Guaranteed Halloween Howler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                         Until yesterday, darlings, I had never heard of "Evil Come, Evil Go," which goes back to 1972!!!!!!!!!!!!  How did I manage to miss this?   The only star of any note in it is future male porn icon, Johnny Holmes, in the role of "Pool Player."  But the two stars, who bring the house down with this one, are Cleo O'Hara as Sister Sarah Jane Butler, and Sandra Henderson, as Sister Penny.

                                           The way the story goes, Sister Sarah Jane is a Christian evangelist from the Midwest (where else, dolls????????) who makes her way to Los Angeles, onetime City Of The Angels, which is just perfect for her agenda.  She also dresses like Baby Jane Hudson, to accentuate her innocence and virtue, I guess!!!!!!!  You see, Sister Sarah Jane hates men, and so, while singing on streets
by day, preaching the message of the Lord, with her accordion, she switches tactics once the sun goes down, when she becomes a man hater who trolls bars for men, picks them up, pretends to have sex with them, and then does them in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Not only is this offbeat film just perfect for Halloween, it is ideally tailored for anyone with sexual issues--lesbians, misogynists, or sex addicts, in general!!!!!!!!!  I can see this one being screened at Twelve Step conferences across the country!!!!!!!!!  Maybe it already has been!!!!!!!  And if not, then why not????????????

                                              Even preachers need acolytes, and Sister Jane finds one in Sister Penny, an overweight, lonely lesbian (let's not go there, loves!!!!!!!!!) who comes to Sister Sarah for help.  As she tells
Sarah, imploringly, "I have a strange compulsion to obey you!"

                                               The writers must have had a field day with this one, which is like a gender reversed parody of "Night Of The Hunter," stripped of any artistry whatsoever.  Here is Sister Sarah Jane, on her mission:   "Come heed my word!  I had a vision!  My name is Sarah Jane Butler
                           and I was sent by the Good Lord himself to rid the world of pleasurable
                           sex!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                 Imagine saying this in Los Angeles !   Try spouting this in Las Vegas!  The woman would have been Biblically stoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   How Sister Sarah Jane can steel herself to have sex with men, when she hates it so much is not just a mistake in the script, it is a clue to her psychological deviancy!!!!!!!!!  Which is why, when Penny comes along, she uses the lesbian to entice men, and then, while the men are engaged, she
bursts forward, with a knife, and spouts this howler: "How dare you beget in front of me!!!!!!!!"

                                                     But, my favorite line of all comes when Sarah Jane has located the man she wants to be the next victim. Calling out to Sister Penny she intones--"Get your tambourine, Sister Penny! We're going out!"

                                                       You can't beat trash like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Are Sarah Jane and Penny stopped?  And how?  Does the whole thing culminate in a big lesbian blood bath????????  Or even male blood bath????????  I wish I could tell you, lambs, but this is as much as I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           "Evil Come, Evil Go" sounds like a movie made for an evening of twisted Halloween delights!  It would go great on a double bill with Ruth Roman starring in "The Baby!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                               Like the ad says, "No one is safe from the Preacher Woman," darlings!!!!!!!   This movie will never promote women to the priesthood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                                                     If only I could show you a scene from this classic, darlings!
The scene with Sister Sarah Jane playing her accordion on the street, while trilling "Shall We Gather At The River," is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                                             




Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Another Halloween Goodie, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                       When I was a child, there was a poster, a very lurid one, which, of course I tried to draw, of a poster for a movie I had never heard of called, "Daughter Of Horror."  Years later, when I saw the 1958 trash classic, "The Blob" (with Steve McQueen!!!!!!!!!   And Aneta Corsaut, before she played Helen Crump on "The Andy Griffith Show!!!!!!") there was a sequence where the blob was creeping into a movie theater, on a Friday night, of course,  filled with teenagers, watching this chilling, image-filled film about demons from Hell.  When the terror was upon them, and they fled outside, the marquee clearly showed what they had been watching--"Daughter Of Horror."

                                         Also known as "Dementia," this film runs a mere 56 minutes, but seems longer. It has no dialogue, but a narration, delivered in a chilling voice, supposedly by a pre-Johnny Carson Ed McMahon!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am telling you, you have got to see it, to believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                  It is interesting this film has come to my mind, having just recently read Marisha Pessl's brilliant novel, "Night Film."  Because "Dementia"/"Daughter Of Horror," (which ever title you prefer, girls!!!!!!) made by director John Parker, in 1955 is very much like one of Stanislas Cordova's films.
And, like I said of Pessl's book, it is a torturous journey into the psychological Hell of the human mind, in this case, here, a woman.

                                                   I have to wonder if Pessl, in writing her book, ever saw this film.  Because she ought to have.  And if anyone out there has any idea of making a movie out of "Night Film," this is pretty much how it should look, visually.

                                 But I am saving the best for last, darlings!  This is the moment seen in "The Blob," when you hear the narrator pull out all the stops when it comes to purple prose!  Here--

                                   "Now all the images of horror, the demons of your mind,
                                    crowd in on you to destroy you."

                                Two more days till Halloween, kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Girls, I Simply Cannot Wait For "Bloody Mary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                               When I first saw and heard the ads for the Halloween program "Bloody Mary," on ID, (Investigation Discovery) darlings, I thought someone was ripping off the 1992 movie, "Candyman."  You know, with Virginia Madsen, before she supposedly became a "serious" actress just 12 years later, and 9 years ago, with "Sideways."

                                  After looking into all this, I realized "Candyman: was ripping off "Bloody Mary." Or, more likely, expanding on its own version of it.

                                   According to a legend, within a darkened, or candlelit room, usually a bathroom, you are to stand in front of the mirror, and chant "Bloody Mary" a minimum of three times.  After which, something paranormal is supposed to happen, like an evil woman's face appearing in the mirror, or behind you, to allegedly scare you, or tell you your future.  I have enough trouble just getting through the day; I don't need to know the future. I have always gone by Doris Day, anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Now, the program on Investigation Discovery promises "true life accounts of murderous Marys."  Sounds fascinating, but I wonder how many there are?  The only one I am aware of is child murderess, Mary Bell, who killed two boys in England, back in 1968.  Who else could there be?  I guess we will have to wait, and find out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Personally, I always enjoyed Bloody Mary best as a drink!

                                     I also think what you see does not relate to how many times you say "Bloody Mary," but how many Bloody Marys  you actually drink, on Halloween night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, have one for me, loves!  Sweet visions, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Monday, October 28, 2013

Darlings, This Was No "Eight Cousins" By Louisa May Alcott!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                           And I thought I had trouble with some of my cousins!  Or, at least, one, in particular!!!!!!!!!  Consider poor Yi Lin Zhuo, whose entire family--a wife and four children--were massacred at the hands of 25 -year-old cousin, Mindgong Chen, who had been taken in, illegally, by the family in 2004.  Over the past nine years, he had attempted a series of jobs--one as far away as Chicago, but they did not just work out. What first might have been bad luck became indicative of personality issues, because, in between jobs, the petulant Chen would sit and home, and stew in the juices of his own resentment and jealousy, which boiled over into bloody violence, at the apartment, on 57th Street in Sunset Park.

                                            Jealousy is a prime motive for murder. But for this kind of jealousy to have exacerbated into murder indicates deep psychological problems on Chen's part. Who knows, maybe that is why he came to America. Maybe his family could not deal with him, so they sent him to relatives who could, and tried.  Some even accused him of laziness. I know how that can hurt, as, when young, I got the same thing from my relatives.  But I never killed anyone.  Though I have nursed some resentments over the years!!!!!!

                                            I have heard of "Kissing Cousins," but this is going way too far!  I hope justice is meted out to Chen, whether that means prison, a mental institution, or both. It would be interesting to get a glimpse into his socio-psychological history.   And, yes, darlings, you can bet "Law And Order SVU" will cook up an episode, based on this. After that terrible Anthony Weiner redux, they are desperate for a good one, and, if they write this one well, they could score a hit!  Especially if they bring back B.D. Wong!  Maybe make him related to the killer!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              To think--while Monsieur and I were home relaxing, this was taking place just eighteen blocks from where we live!  Brooklyn's Chinatown is not known for violence, which makes it all the more shocking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                It will take more than Dim Sum to fix Mngdong Chen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Girls, I Hope Our Beloved Cujo Is All Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  You know, darlings, that by now, our walk to the subway each morning involves going up 77th Street in Bay Ridge, to the subway stop there.  We pass, en route, a terraced house, atop which often resides our friend, a lovable boxer, whom Monsieur affectionately dubbed "Cujo," and to which Cujo, now with equal affection, responds to us, whenever we call him. Last week, one day, he was indoors, and, when I called him, I heard a bark from within!

                                     Well, this morning, I was worried. Cujo was not out on his terrace; no surprise, there, as it was cold.  We called, but no avail,.  But then, when we stood outside the gated driveway, where there was only one car, Cujo came up to the gate, and greeted us, but he looked so sad, so forlorn.  We told him we love him, and he looked at me, pleading, like he was trying to tell me something, and expecting me to understand.

                                       I certainly hope Cujo is not ill, or that he is not being mistreated. He has never seemed so, prior to this morning.  If something is wrong with Cujo, and nothing is being done about it, I am telling you, I am thinking of either dognapping or adoption. I would love to have big, lovable Cujo sleep at the foot of our bed.  I know he would be an expensive pet, but we love him!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         So, I hope those owners on 77th Street continue to take good care of Cujo!

                                          Or, one day, Cujo may just up and fly the coop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Now, Here Is The Movie, For A Very Twisted Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                              Now, girls, let me warn you, this has nothing to do with Cropsy, the disfigured caretaker at the center of the 1981, cult horror film, "The Burning."    This film is actually a documentary surrounding the Urban Legend of the figure who haunts the grounds of the abandoned mental institution on Staten Island, known as Willowbrook.  It is a meditation on evil lurking on the grounds, how Cropsey, and his legend, has been used for generations to punish little children, and how that legend became all too real when , in 1987, Jennifer Schweiger, a 12-year-old girl with Down's Syndrome, mysteriously vanished.  Soon, other children began vanishing, and the mystery and horror of both Cropsey and Willowbrook, became all too real.

                                              But, darlings, the other horror at the center of it all is.....Staten Island itself!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Imagine growing up there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Imagine LIVING there!!!!!!!!!!  Not even Jersey  could top this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                I mean, you have got to see for yourselves, darlings, Donna Cutugno, well-intentioned organizer, founder and spokesperson for the organization, Friends Of Jennifer, but, oh, honeys she is SO Lonnnnnnnnnn  Gilsand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh moy Gawwwwwwwwwd!!!!!!!!!   You have got to hear the accent to believe it!  Clearly Staten Island lacks a shortage of Speech Pathologists, but, then, why are they needed, since the other horror to this film is that many people never get off this island, because they would rather live here than anywhere else!  Like those Japanese, on that island, in "Ringu!!!!!"  They would rather remain there, instead of seeing the outside world!!!!!!!  Even going across the river to Manhattan, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 It is all so twisted!  Added to which, it is all REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, for this Halloween, I cannot think of a more twisted movie to watch than the documentary "Cropsey," first released to theaters in 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  I am telling you, it would elicit a reaction from the corpse of Mrs. Bates!!!!!!!!!!!!!









Darlings, I Am Telling You, THIS Is The Halloween Costume For This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                  No, girls, this is not me being decked out for Halloween!   I have enough trouble with my own costume, which is simply being myself.  But, mark my words, if you want to be the hit of your Halloween party this year, you have to go as Maleficent, the Evil Fairy (who, of course all gay men either think they are, or dream of being!!!!!!!!!) from Disney's 1959 classic, "Sleeping Beauty."  The only thing scarier would be having a group dress up as the giant dragon Maleficent turns into, at the end of the film.  Sort of like a nightmare version of Caroline, The Cow, from "Gypsy!"  And scarier than Mama Rose!!!!!!!!

                                   But Maleficent is a gay man and costumer's dream--make-up, glamour, props (if you REALLY want to be a hit, darlings, go with a live, trained raven perched on yours shoulder! I am sure they can be found!!!!!!!!!).

                                     Let's face it, it stands to reason the creators of Maleficent at Disney were gay themselves.  Not only is the costume iconic, but the whole thing starts over Maleficent being royally pissed that she was NOT invited to a party!!!!!!!!!! How much more gay can you get????????

                                      Guess no one told Uncle Walt!!!!!!!  Either that, or he was too busy with anti-Semitism, informing for J. Edgar Hoover, or staring at Annette Funicello's tits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I wish I had the time, assistants, and artistry to dress as Maleficent for Halloween!!!!!  But I don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Maybe I could go as Hayley Mills, in "Pollyanna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"





Sunday, October 27, 2013

Poor Paula Zahn!!!!!!!!!!! Can She Be Just Unceremoniously Dumped??????????????????

                                               As you know, girls, for lo these many Sundays, it has been of crucial importance we are home by 10 PM, to watch "On The Case, With Paula Zahn."  Just recently, a new show, "A Stranger In My Home," has been occupying its spot.  I have not really seen a segment, but it deals with people who, for various reasons, have taken into their homes people they do not know very well--and the consequences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Suddenly, it occurred to me--Where is Paula????? Has she, just, been dumped?????????

                                              Usually, on ID, when a series is ending, they make a big deal about it, publicizing, the "Season Finale."  There was nothing like that, with Paula!  One week, she was there, then suddenly she was gone!  Like the Wicked Witch Of The West, in Munchkinland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                How dare they diss Paula???????  True, she isn't Aphrodite Jones, but she tried her best!  And her hair and outfits were improving, believe me!!!!!!!   Yes, her delivery was over earnest, but that is just part of being Paula, but the cases she covered were interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               So, why toss her out, like yesterday's garbage??????????  And, instead of the ersatz "A Stranger In My Home," why not put Aphrodite in this choice Sunday spot????????  That could make up, a bit, for Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Us devotees of Paula demand an answer!  I think the next "On The Case, With Paula Zahn" should examine....Paula Zahn and I.D.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Stay tuned here, darlings, for future developments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Long As We're Taking A Ride To Hell, Let Me Remind You, Darlings--Halloween Is Coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                              Girls, I am telling you, reading Marisha Pessl's "Night Film" has really done a number on me!  Last night, I dreamed I was searching in occult and voodoo shops for three films--one known, the other two fictitious--"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Eating Earl Live," (fictional) and "Deliberation Of Cats," (fictional) which dealt with cats being killed.

                                See, what this book did?????

                                But it also reminded me that Halloween is just DAYS away, so I want to wish you the most TWISTED one ever.  Like with little Mike Myers, in his clown suit, butcher knife in hand, at the start of the original "Halloween," or Jamie Lloyd, at the close of "Halloween 4."   It's not your Granny's Halloween, anymore, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Heh, Heh, Heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I'll be back, later in the week, to wish you more Halloween fun, and alert you to what plans are afoot here.  And, honeys, do I have some ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Enough to make Donald Pleasance scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Girls, Could This Be The Book Of The Year?????????????????????

                                         
                                              Imagine, darlings, those black-and-white, Gothic looking, opening and closing shots of "Citizen Kane," expanded to full length, and then reconstructed as a horror film.  That is what it  is like, visually and verbally, reading Marisha Pessl's new novel, "Night Film," her first since the wildly successful "Special Topics In Calamity Physics," which introduced her to us literati, back in 2006.  Authors of second novels often suffer from "sophomore slump," (like Zadie Smith, though her breakthrough book, "White Teeth," was largely forgettable; she did not hit her stride till "On Beauty," and even Donna Tartt!!!!!!!) so, why should Miss Pessl be any different?????  Well she is; in fact, she goes herself even one better.  Premature statements are often rash, but, then I was a premature baby, and we preemies often do not hesitate to throw caution to the wind.  So, I will do so, by uttering the following declaration--

                                              Marisha Pessl's "Night Film" is the "Citizen Kane" of post modern literature!  Like the Welles film, it examines a renowned public figure, and the people and places surrounding him.  Its trappings are dark and Gothic, with sexual aberrations, the occult, and trappings of "Rebecca" thrown in.  And, like Susan Alexander in 'Kane', Ashley Cordova (the filmmaker's daughter) here is the story's most fascinating and enigmatic character.  It is the search for truth regarding Ashley that forms the narrative structure of Pessl's story.

                                               Years from now, when this book has been remaindered, and all but forgotten, except by literary purists like myself, who will hunt for used copies at The Strand, (if that still exists!!!) the New York Review Books Classics will rediscover it, reprint it, and the sensation will be repeated all over again--like a film loop! That is the highest praise I can offer this book.

                                                 I can hear some of  you girls saying, "But, you haven't really told us what the book is about."  The answer is simple, darlings--I can't.  To do so would rob you of the pleasure of reading and discovering the novel's virtues and excesses for yourselves.  I can tell you that "Night Film" is a terrifying, intellectually stimulating journey into the dark, psychological Hell of the human mind.  And just as Cordova's films will play  tricks on the viewer, so Pessl's book does on the reader.  The reader, in effect, is being tortured, like the Cordovites in the story.  And I loved every minute of it!

                                                   In any other year, "Night Film" would indisputably get my vote for Book Of The Year.  It may still win, but there is the matter of that recently published Donna Tartt novel, to be read.  As soon as that is done, darlings, I will make my decision, and let you know. Because it definitely comes down to either of these two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   "Night Film" is not for the faint of heart.  There are some among my acquaintance--including my beloved!!!!--whom I would advise not to read it. I can tell you that the ending is rather Wellesian, reminiscent of a once proposed project of his--a film version of Joseph Conrad's "Heart Of Darkness."  Which should give one a general idea of the book's overall sensibility.  It is the darkest, most brilliant book I have read this year--to date!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Whether it remains so, only time will tell!

                                                    Readers, enter at your own risk!!!!!!!!!!  For the ride of your lives!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K., He's Not Shakespreare!!!! But, Why Kick Him Off The Team??? The Answer Is Simple--It's High School!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                The truth tellers are always the first to be criticized, as I can tell you, from years of experience, darlings!!!!!

                                 Nick Andre, of Rittman, Ohio, is not a poet, and he knows it.  But, from the storm of criticism he kicked up in his community, he comes off as the most shocking literary figure, since Grace Metalious wrote "Peyton Place."

                                And what brought this on?  A poem he wrote, based on his experience, called "Stupid."   Here it is"

                                                         "Stupid
                                                          Losing season,
                                                          Favoritism,
                                                          Nonstop passes from best friend to best friend.
                                                          Continuously doing what doesn't work,
                                                          The inability to separate being a father and a coach.
                                                          Dropped passes,
                                                          But yet still the 'superstar,'
                                                          Yeah, right.
                                                          Where's my scholarship?
                                                          I can drop passes,
                                                          Run backwards,
                                                          Miss tackles,
                                                          And be afraid to take a hit.
                                                         That's the top line Div. 1 material right there.
                                                         If that's what they wanted,
                                                         They definitely got it.
                                                         This whole town will be glad when he is gone.
                                                         For anyone who doesn't understand what I am saying?
                                                         AKRON'S SCREWED.
                                                         --Nick Andre

                                     As a literary figure, darlings, I have to say--for a high school jock, that is pretty good poetic structure!  At least, he has a sense of such!

                                      But the furor is more about the content. It seems Nick was criticizing the special favors the coach gives his son, and maybe some of the other players, at the expense of someone like himself, who has as much to offer, but lacks parental, social, or economic advantages.

                                      I think what got him thrown off the team was that he was not just criticizing the coach, the son, and team practices.  He was criticizing high school culture in general, where, if your family is not wealthy, or prominent, or on the faculty,  or yourself especially popular, you don't get plum roles  in plays, elected to the National Honor Society, and go about generally unengaged, with only yourself to rely on.

                                       Sounds about right, Nick.  Sounds like my high school experience, as well as those of countless others.

                                        So, good for you, Nick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Instead, he was suspended for several days, (a decision where the length of time was reversed, so he is back in school, and on the team, though God knows what will happen now.  Hey, Nick, have you seen "Carrie?") and accused of harassment and bullying, in his poem!!!!!! Oh, come on NOW!!!!!!!!!!  Who, outside of the folk at the school, will know who Nick is talking about, let alone care?

                                         The coach, son, and favored teammates will know it is them, with egg on their faces.  But the administrators, and board members know that the entire culture, in a wider sense, is being targeted (and rightly so!!!), and God forbid the sanctity of the socially discriminating status quo should not be preserved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          I don't know.  Sounds like the suburbs, to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Now, you see, darlings, why the Sherwood sisters just HAD to leave "OHIO!!!!!!!!!!!"
                                                     
                                                         
                                                     

Friday, October 25, 2013

Girls, Will Avonte Oquendo Become His Generation's Etan Patz??????? And What Excuse Is There, If He Does?????????


                                        The correct answer, darlings, is that there is no excuse.  Also that things have not been learned from past cases.

                                          Ever since this story broke, the media has been all over it, with the community, law enforcement, even helicopters, getting into the act.  Whether or not Avonte is alive now is a matter of opinion, and it saddens me to contemplate what that opinion might be.  But the inexcusable thing is searchers seem to be casting too wide a net.  They should, instead, look within their own back yard. Some one in that
neighborhood has, or has had, Avonte, or knows something about someone who does.

                                           Look at the data. Etan Patz, Leiby Kletsky, and, more recently, Ariel Castro and his Ohio House of Horrors.  All within the confines of local neighborhoods.

                                            What I also want to know is what prompted Avonte to walk out of his Long Island City school, the day he vanished, and why?   Was he lured?  Was someone at school bothering him, and he had to get awa???????. And why is none of this being looked into???????????????????

                                                I am telling you, the scum that most likely did this  to Avonte lives in the Oquenco's neighborhood.  If the police are too stupid to turn this locale inside and out, then they are as culpable as Avonte's perpetrator.

                                                 Hell, call me and Aphrodite Jones!  We will get at the truth, darlings!!!!! Even if it means turning a neighborhood inside out!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   And, of course, you know "Law And Order SVU" will do an episode, suggested by it. Hell, the cops on there will probably do a better job than the real ones.  If Avonte is still not found when the episode airs, it would be interesting to see what theoretical solution is developed!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Hey, Raymond Kelly--you and your dumb ass lackies get off your moneyed asses and go find this kid, so his family can have closure!

                                                        Otherwise, as far as I am concerned, his blood is as much on your hands, as the killer's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             


Darlings, Can You Believe It Has Actually Been Thirty Eight Years???????????


                               "A Chorus Line" had its first public performance, a preview, at the Public Theatre, on April 16, 1975.  It opened there, to the critics and public, on May 21, then moved uptown on Broadway, on July 25, 1975, playing at the Shubert Theatre, for the next fifteen years.  Three months to the day, from the Broadway transfer, I got to see what the fuss was all about, accompanied by my father.  It was a memorable day for us both.

                               I had been anxious to see this show since word got out.  At that time, I was so naive, at
age 20, that my parameters of New York City, back then, were confined from Port Authority, from where I
arrived and departed, to Lincoln Center.  Nothing further uptown, or down.  Had I tried to get to the Public
on my own, back then, I might have ended up in Bedford Stuy, Brooklyn.  Today, the very idea makes me laugh.  Not so, back then.

                                The day I went in to get the tickets, my father gave me some money, and told me to get him one, too.  This was interesting, for "A Chorus Line," at that time, was the most expensive ticket on Broadway, a whopping--are you ready, girls????--$15!!!!!!!!!!!  Try going to a movie in Manhattan on that, today!  It is not easy.

                                Our tickets were for the matinee, on Saturday, October 25.  How could I have known it was to be a turning point in both our lives?

                                 It was my first awareness of seeing something I knew instantly was groundbreaking, and would go on to make history.  Especially, when the dancers turned to face the audience, that first time,  and the house went wild!!!!!!!!!

                                  Donna McKechnie upped my dance interest considerably that day by  giving what I still feel to be the greatest performance on the musical stage.  I had never seen anyone dance like this before, and haven't since.  I certainly wanted to be Donna, but knew I could never dance like that...ever!  Even my morning walk is like a dancer workout for me!  But Donna inspires me.  My father, now 98, is probably the only person his age, who knows who Donna McKechnie is, thanks to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    There was a tension in the air, watching Sammy Williams do the Paul monologue.  It wasn't just the brilliance of his performance, or one of the first times (which it was) that homosexuality was being dealt with, on a commercial Broadway stage.  It was the secret I was carrying--that that week, at college, I had had my first sexual experience--and, darlings, it was not with a woman!!!!!!!!  Oh, come on; would you expect it to be????????  But--did it show?  Would my father know???????  I kept wondering about all this through this portion of the show.

                                     And the show solidified my goal to get to New York, where I knew I had to be, to live--what ever life that turned out to be!  And here I am, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It took me several years from
this date, and a great deal of heartbreak, to get here, but I did, and have not regretted it since!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What else could I have done?????????

                                       So, every day, on this date, I remember this event, which changed my life in so many ways, and cemented, for my father and I, an experience we both remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                           Now, some of you out there may be wondering--what was it like, to see this show, with its now Legendary Original Cast????????  Well, darlings, I can now give you a taste!  Here are Donna, Kelly, Sammy, and Company doing the opening number on the 1976 TONY Awards Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            And get out those dancing shoes, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Girls, Who Would Have Thought Our Introduction To Shakespeare Would Have Come From "The Little Rascals?????"


                            For those of a certain generation--mine--raised on morning or afternoon TV reruns of "The Little Rascals," this was our introduction to Shakespeare.  First, there was book carrying, Bard spouting, bespectacled Waldo, doing the academic nerd thing, often quoting the Avon playwright.

                              But it was the 1936 short, "Pay As You Exit," that really cemented it all!  As you can see, producer Spanky is presenting a matinee of "Romeo And Juliet," the first time I, seeing this at age 6, had ever heard of the piece.  Imagine when I read it years later, discovering what liberties the Rascals had taken!!!!!!!!  But they worked.

                              The highlight was this. Leading man Alfalfa had a craving for scallions, and Darla, playing Juliet, could not stand doing those intimate scenes with him, and walked off!!!!!!!  Who could blame her?????  The role is then taken over, during the balcony scene, when, up pops Buckwheat, in drag, with his signature, "Here ah is!!!!!!!!!"  Everyone loved Buckwheat as Juliet, the audience gets its money;s worth and they do, indeed, pay as you exit!!!!!!!!!!!

                              A short scene in this figured prominently in my life.  Early on, when Darla is still playing Juliet, Spanky, as Capulet, catches the two lovers.  He says to her, "Daughter, go to your room."  To Alfalfa, he says, "Romeo, prepare to die!"

                               Something about that latter line stayed with me, and sparked my burgeoning theatricality.  Because, days later, my family was over at my grandmother's house. My father and I were in the kitchen; he was seated at the table, I was standing, and we got into some kind of argument.  Having just seen "Pay As You Exit" several days before, I instantly knew what to do. I went to the pantry nearby, came out with a stick broom, but raised like a sword, aimed it at my father, lunged, and said, like Spanky, "Prepare to die!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  My father was so taken aback, I don't think he knew what to do!  He certainly was not prepared for this, though this incident paved the way for the years that followed.  To this day, when  I think of this episode, and incident, I laugh uproariously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Guess I was just a Little Rascal, myself, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Who Would Have Thought So Many Widow's Walks, Darlings???????????



                                                 "The lady comes to the gate
                                                   Dressed in lavender and leather
                                                   Looking north to the sea she finds the weather fine

                                                   She hears the steeple bells
                                                   Ringing through the orchard all the way from town
                                                   She watches seagulls fly
                                                   Silver on the ocean stitching through the waves
                                                   The edges of the sky."
                                                   ----"Albatross," Judy Collins





                                 Having now gotten accustomed to my morning excursions, girls, I delight in taking a look at what is all around me. The route I take is very scenic, thanks to the steps and beautiful houses, which, along with my beloved Monsieur, make me eternally grateful I am back in Bay Ridge.  The route I take is very scenic, between the houses, the steps, and the bay view along Shore Road, which can be seen, even from the park, where I walk the circle.

                                   Many of the homes along Shore Road, overlooking the bay, are old and lovely.  So, it should not have come as a surprise to me, to discover so many of the houses are designed, whether for usage or simply ornamentation, with widow's walks.

                                       Some of these houses were built in another era, when Shore Road was even more deserted than it sometimes seems at this time of morning, which must have been a time when widow's walks were needed.  A widow's walk is a railed rooftop platform area, very pretty, but designed for wives of seafarers of an earlier time, to keep an eye both on the impending arrival of their husbands from the sea, or,
in the case of a horrible storm, the fate of those husbands--hence the term.  The wife of a seafarer, like that of a policeman today, always lives under the specter that widowhood might come a' calling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I know, I know, the whole thing is so Sena Jeter Naslund.  The widow's walk is referenced in her much hyped, at the time (1999--Good God, is it really fourteen years????), and overrated novel, "Ahab's Wife," which references the widow's walk, and attempts a "Moby Dick" redux by concentrating on the least memorable aspect of the Melville novel--the title character of Nauslund's novel, who is mentioned, dismissively, in a single sentence.  Like building gold out of string, as in "Rumpelstiltskin."

                                       And both "Moby Dick" and "Rumpelstiltskin" are superior literary works!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But I love seeing the widow's walks when I go by in the morning.  When I reach the bay, I stop, look out and stare,  In my head, I hear Judy Collins, singing "Albatross."

                                         Don't go walking 'cause you're a widow, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     




This "October Surprise" Had Little Surprise To Offer, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                              Actually, the month itself, so far, has offered more surprises, what with a visit upstate to Cousin Phyllis, the impending visit of my father, sister and cousin, Brian, to our apartment on Saturday, not to mention yesterday being the official day that the Swallows leave Capistrano, not returning until next St. Joseph's Day, March 19, 2014.  Which will be here, before you know it.

                                And just one week from today is Halloween!  I still have to pick a movie out, let alone a costume!!!!!!!!!!!


                                 But poor "Law And Order SVU."  The fifteenth season started so strongly, but now it seems to have come grinding to a crashing halt.  I did not even bother to watch the episode with Munch retiring; I really did not care.  "October Surprise" was almost the same, a limp re-telling of the Anthony Weiner story, which was not really all that interesting, to begin with.

                                   What made the episode watchable was Raul Esparza's performance as ADA Barba.  I was more fascinated by the tale of class warfare being told than anything else.  Barba, Alex, the Mayoral candidate, and his henchman, Eddie, grew up together in the Bronx.  One went into politics, the other into Ivy League law, while Eddie stayed in the nabe, alternating between small jobs and petty crime.  Like people
from my town, who remain in Goat Alley all their lives.  The only way they get to see the President streets is by doing yard work, or house cleaning for those who own them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      So, this dynamic, sparked by Esparza's sizzling performance, was the only thing holding this rather predictable story together for me.  Even Olivia, and the usually wonderful Kelli Giddish, as Rollins, did not seem too enthused by the script; I have never seen Giddish yet walk through a performance, but  she seemed to last night!

                                       Of course, the whole thing came down to Esparza being loyal to his roots, or himself!  Some might call his attitude selling out.  And I have known some sellouts in my life, whom I despise.
The things I could tell you!  Oh, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          I don't think Barba sold out. When you have escaped from a less than memorable past, one you wanted to escape from, in the first place, you do all in your power to survive, so that you do not fall back there. Believe me, I know!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, I had a lot of sympathy for Barba.

                                            But, I did not like the scriptwriters' playing around with his character, trying to make it seem like he is heterosexual!!!!!!!!!! Come on, now!!!!!!!!!!!!   What was with all this snuggling, hugging and nuzzling of Alex's wife. This is more than fag hag stuff, I can tell you!  Who do the writers think
they are kidding??????? Even the most right winged viewers know Esparza's character is gay!!!!!!!  If the writers had some guts, they would write a story relating the case of a slain gay, that touches upon Esparza's integrity and socio-political standing, as a gay man!!!!!!!!!!  Let's see if they dare!!!!!!!!!  Don't make me laugh!!!!!!!

                                            The only real surprise offered in "October Surprise" is that Barba's first name is
Raphael, or "Raffy," as he is nicknamed!  Big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Come on, guys, you better do better than that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Bitch, You Don't Know The First Thing About Being A Princess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   As I promised, earlier this week, girls, this is the day Little Miss Rachael Sacks get hers.  She is this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of the Week Award, and, while I am not sure if she will make Bitch Of The Year, come the end, she definitely merits a spot in the Top Ten!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     But, first, I just want to say--remember that TV Commercial for "Levi's Real Jewish Rye?'  Where "you didn't have to be Jewish," to like it?  Well, dolls, the same holds true for Princesses; who says you have to be Jewish????????  One of my most enduring friends, Angie, has referred to me, for decades, as a CAP--Catholic American Prince!

                                      I don't know about that. But I do know a couple of things about Rachael that downplays the entire story she is trying to present to the world, at large!

                                      She is pursuing a Writing Degree, at the New School.  What's wrong, hon? Daddy's money could not buy you into the Ivy League?????  Or you did not have the brains to get in?  And if you were really talented, you would have gotten into the University Of  Iowa, or the University Of California, Irvine, which are two of the best writing programs in the country!  Or how about Bennington College, the alma mater of Brett Easton Ellis and Donna Tartt?????????  Guess you just couldn't cut it, Rachael, not even with Daddy's money!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      As for that West Village apartment, I knew that neighborhood, long before you were conceived.   I don't care how great you think it is, it looks like a walk up to me, and who the hell wants that?????????

                                      You hail from Bethesda, Maryland, and you say you ate McDonald's as a kid on the weekends???????  You know something?   You look it!  The way you dress is so out of touch with high end living in this town that Anna Wintour  (whom I am sure you do not know who that is!!!!!!!)  would dismiss you on the spot, just as MERYL  did Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada."  And bragging about getting a Mulberry purse, at 70 per cent off?  If you were really rich, hon, that per cent reduction would not matter!!!!!!!!! And Mulberry?  How second rate!!!!! What's wrong with Prada, Louis Vuiton, or Christian Lacroix??????????

                                       Oh, yeah, and real smart, writing about your masturbatory exploits.  Honey, the likes of Philip Roth,  Gail Parent, (author of "Sheila Levine Is Dead, And Living In New York") and Erica Jong , got there before you. It is all so Seventies passe!!!!!!!!!!  How do you expect to land a financially adequate boy friend????????????????

                                        Of course you're young, dear, so you don't stop to think about the future. Like that a diet of  Diet Cokes, Skittles and sweet cakes will eventually morph you into an ugly, fat slob, which you are just pounds away from being, since you are already a little chunky right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It shows already!!!!!!!!!!!  You think you will own this town???????  It is going to eat you alive, and eventually send your whiny little ass scurrying back to Bethesda, or what ever suburban enclave you imprison yourself into.

                                         No, Rachael, I wouldn't be you, for all the money in your Daddy's bank account.
You are SO nouveau, darling--money, but NO taste!  And that is something you cannot trounce me on!!!!!!!!!  I am, after all the Raving Queen.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         And I can be a bit of a bitch, myself, dear!  So, just watch out that our paths do not cross on a city street.  Because I just may haul off, and slap you across your bitch face!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Congratulations on being named Bitch Of The Week, Rachael!!!!!!!! It is the last
noteworthy distinction you will EVER get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             How's that, girls?????????????????????

                                       


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

It Must Have Been "Moonset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                               Notice, girls, I said "Moonset, and not "Moonglow!!!!!!!!!"

                               Ever since, several weeks back, now, starting my half hour exercise walk, early each morning, something I see in the sky at this time always gives me such comfort--the moon going down.  I love this time of day, when the sunlight and the moon can be seen, simultaneously.  And anyone who tries to tell you that the moon is not some sort of Mistress Of Our Emotions hasn't a clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Even poets have noticed this comfort. Clement Clarke Moore, in his classic Christmas poem, "A Visit From St. Nicholas" (more commonly known, as "The Night Before Christmas") cites, "The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, Gave the luster of midday to objects below."  I learned that phrase early, when I was a child. Back then, when we were going home from, say, my grandmother's, I loved seeing the moon high in the black sky, especially in Winter.  It was comforting, and I liked the way it seemed to follow me home, as though watching over all.  I still have those moon feelings, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Do I dance like a witch in it???????  Hardly, though, maybe if some of the weight comes off, who knows??????????

                                    When I started this exercise walking, I was in agony for days!  I could not say the merit in it at all. But, now, as I have been doing it, my legs are getting stronger, and I seem a tad less tired and winded, which will hopefully dwindle further, I look forward now to my walk each morning--my body being stimulated from exercise, and the beauty of that setting moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        La Bella Luna, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!