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Thursday, July 7, 2022

Ever Had A Day Where You Felt Like This??????????????????????????


                                        That, of course, is Bette Davis, in her breakthrough role as Mildred, the venal waitress in the 1934 adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage." Here, she is about to die from tertiary syphilis, because she ended up doing more than waitressing.  It's a role I would love to play, but not in real life.



                                         But we've all had days when we have felt like Mildred, even without the STD.



                                        Reach for what comforts one most, I always say.



                                       But then, I thought, I am having a strange reading Summer. I had planned out a lot of things in advance, but have deviated so many times I seem, like Alice, to have lost my way.  So, I am just going with it.



                                         Which brings me to the next question--Should I re-read "Of Human Bondage?"  I read it first in college, and then at least fifteen years ago.  It is a rather depressing story.


                                              And that's when I came up with it.  The Depressive's Book List.



                                              Here are Ten Literary Works Guaranteed To Make You Depressed!


                                              1. ANYHING by Joan Didion!



                                              2. "The Bell Jar," by Sylvia Plath



                                              3. "Of Human Bondage," by W. Somerset Maugham



                                              4. "The Razor's Edge," by W. Somerset Maugham



                                             5.  "An American Tragedy," by Theodore Dreiser



                                              6. "Madame Bovary," by Gustav Flaubert



                                             7. "Anna Karenina," by Leo Tolstoy



                                             8. "The House Of Mirth," by Edith Wharton



                                            9. "Sophie's Choice," by William Styron



                                         10. "Looking For Mr. Goodbar," by Judith Rossner


                                       



  



                                               Anyone read individually will have you wanting to lock yourself in your bedroom.  Reading this entire list will place you in an institution.



                                               But, really, tell me, girls, should I re-read "Of Human Bondage?"







                                              

Darlings, No Parades Are Going To Just Pass ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                       That's right, girls. I may be singing "Don't Cry Out Loud" for vocal practice, but, hell, holding back on your feelings?  Not me, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Believing you had it all?  Or have it all?  I surely believe that one, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                          This song had bounced around for decades--it was written by Peter Allen (Liza's first hubby!) with lyrics by Carol Bayer Sager.  But it took Melissa Manchester's cover to make it a classic.  And no one does it like her.  I just looked, and I don't think BARBRA ever covered this.  That says a lot.  I mean, BARBRA gets her claws into just about everything.



                                             So, when that circus comes to town, darlings, you march with it!  And remember, we have it all--being exactly what we need!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                If you don't believe me, here is Melissa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     We can have it all, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Have Seen Oscar Statuettes That Were More Animated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                           Really, girls, the film should have been called "Escape Of The Puppet People," not "Attack."  The actors, full sized and not, were wooden and inanimate; even John Hoyt, as the mad puppeteer, David noted, gave a lackluster, one-note performance.  Quite the contrast to Robert H. Harris' mixture of pathos and evil in "How To Make A Monster," which I think the filmmakers here were going for but failed.
                                              But wait!  The surprise of the evening was that "Sventoonie" actually turned out to be better than "Svengoolie."  Audiences are catching on to this show, so instead of telling what film is to be deconstructed, clues are offered.  The one for this past week was "Organ Failure."  I thought it might be something having to do with body parts, like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," or "The Prowler," aka "Rosemary's Killer."  But lo and behold, it was "Carnival Of Souls."


                                                Girls, if you have just seen the deconstruction, you get a taste of what you are missing.  Candace Hilligoss--who made only one other film, 1963's "The Curse Of The Living Corpse"--plays a repressed, Midwestern spinster, who goes on a joy ride in a car with a group of rather butch looking lesbian girls.  Maybe she cannot make up her mind.  Actually, this is partially true, because the car goes off a bridge, into the water, but she seemingly emerges, muddy and dripping wet, as a survivor. She spends the rest of the film, wandering between reality and not, haunted by a pavilion--
                              Here it is, darlings!  Isn't if fascinating and beautiful, simultaneously?   This is where the titular event takes place, and every time I see it, I am reminded of Fellini and "Follies."  I am telling you, at some point, this will be turned into either a musical or a ballet.  

                                Mary (Candace Hilligoss) gets caught up in the carnival, where she is chased onto the beach and then.....well, you tell me.  You are all smart cookies, girls, I think you can figure this one out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   According to Sventoonie, this film influenced David Lynch and George Romero.  You can see that from the souls, and the characters of John Linden, the sleazy tenant, who is always putting the make on Mary, and who was played by Sidney Berger, then the head of the Drama Department, at the University Of Kansas.  Most of the film was shot in Lawrence, Kansas, on a budget of $33K, while the pavilion was shot at Saltair, just outside Salt Lake City, Utah, where Mary had gone to become a church organist.  The perfect spinster profession, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Then there is Frances Feist, as the landlady, Mrs. Thomas, another scene stealer.  With her looks, had she lived beyond her death in 1981 (she was born in 1930, so she died young) she would have been a shoo-in to appear in "Blue Velvet," in 1986, or "Mulholland Drive," in 2001.


                                                                               

                                But wait!  Take a look at these pictures. The one in color is Mariclare Costello in her famous rising from the water scene, in John Hancock's 1971 debut, "Let's Scare Jessica To Death," which starred Zohra Lampert as Jessica, but Mariclare stole the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Looked at together, there is no question "Carnival Of Souls" influenced "Let's Scare Jessica To Death."


                                  Girls, if you liked the deconstruction, you would love the entire film.  It scared me at the age of twelve.  Too real for me, then, I suppose.


                                    And next week, just to tempt you, do not miss the 1957 classic 'The Deadly Mantis."  It has one of the greatest film posters of all time, which I would like on one of our walls.  It is a hoot, darlings!  Wait till you see it go for the Washington Monument!  Too bad it doesn't pay a visit to D.C. today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      I tell you this in advance, because David and I will be unable to view it in real time.  We are seeing "The Music Man" this Saturday (I will give you girls a full report!) and then dinner afterwards, so we will watch the movie at another time.


                                       Look out for "The Deadly Mantis!"


                                       "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                                 

                                                                           

Wednesday, July 6, 2022

I Do Not Care What Jennifer Aniston Says, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do NOT Ingest Collagen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                             First of all, even if mixed with juice and coffee, what the hell does it make them taste like?  Collagen is said to be good for the skin, darlings, but, hons, I have been astringing and moisturizing all my life, and the results are almost Jennifer Jones, (and I wear panties!) like, so I think my skin is in pretty good shape without ingesting an unknown substance.



                                                 Really, it is funny how people hop aboard these health trends, while ignoring scientific facts, like the efficacy of the Covid vaccination.  I am not talking about Aniston here; I am sure she is on board with everything, but there are some Jennifers I know who don't take heed.



                                                   I want all my girls to stay safe and healthy, so I can report all ongoing news from here.  So keep slathering on the make-up cream, sunscreen, or whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                     Listen to The Raving Queen, dolls, and not some commercial shiller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Want A "Deadly Mantis" Doll And Playset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                        Forget "The Beginning Of The End," darlings, everyone here is getting all psyched up for "Svengoolie's" Saturday night showing of one of my favorite monster movies, 1957's "The Deadly Mantis."  As soon as I heard it was to be shown, I made sure David makes a tape of it, as we are seeing "The Music Man" on Saturday, and, with dinner, may not be home in time for the start.



                                            But just look at the doll.  The real thing!  And the playset.  I wonder what it comes with?  It almost does not matter, because the box cover replicates the movie's famous poster, one of the greatest ever designed, especially with the ominous words, "This Was The Day That Engulfed The World In Terror!"  Hey, that could apply to today.  A deadly mantis would be a piece of cake, compared to the Deadly Demise Of Democracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                 Whatever, the movie is campy fun, with TV's "Peter Gunn, Craig Stevens (husband to future "Follies" star and TONY winner, Alexis Smith) in the lead.  But the cheesy mantis effects steal the show!!!!!!!!!



                                                  David is putting up a fuss about the doll and playset!  Come on, girls, tell him I should have each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                     Even my therapist said so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Monday, July 4, 2022

Baby Gojira Sends Everyone Love And Happiness For This Fourth Of July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                      Even as I sit writing this, Baby Gojira is standing by my side, ably making sure I get this all down right.   The first thing we both listened to this morning was George Gershwin's "Rhapsody In Blue."  Isn't that just perfect?????????????????????



                                         And later, the two of us will do Little Edie's Fourth Of July Sparkler Dance, from "Grey Gardens."  Baby Gojira does not miss a thing, when it comes to holiday celebrations.

                                    But wait!  Gojira wants to get in on the fun, too!  So, here he roars everyone a very Happy Fourth Of July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                     Sparkle, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dexter Enjoys A Quiet, Contemplative Vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                         Our lovable friend, Dexter, is vacationing in Connecticut, and he looks he is enjoying some relaxation away from the city.  He deserves it, too, so we are very happy for Dexter.



                                            You see, darlings, dogs (I am not sure about cats!) are bothered by the noise of the fireworks on this evening. So, Dexter has gone off to somewhere so he can avoid all that.  I am sure it was his idea, and I am sure he is the one who got himself there.  Dexter is a very handsome and resourceful dog.  As well as the sweetest, most affectionate dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                Happy July 4th to Dexter in Connecticut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!