Darlings, I Am Worried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, we have GOT to talk! I just found out that the New York Times has released its list of the "100 Most Notable Books Of 2010," from which, of course, is culled the "Ten Best Books of 2010" list, and this leaves me cause for concern!!!!!!

First, of all, darlings--and this is a no-brainer--"Freedom" by Jonathan Franzen is on the list. It is a far gone conclusion that this will head the Ten Best list for fiction; this was clear, from its release date in August, when it instantly became apparent that "Freedom" was the Book Of The Year. I am not a bit worried about that, lambs!!!!!!

Another fabulous book on the list is Adam Ross' wonderfully nasty "Mr. Peanut," which plays as a brilliant dissection on American marriage (as does "Freedom") and a riff on serial killer thrillers. I am thrilled it made the 100, but it will not make the 10.

There are two titles on the 100 list that DO have me worried; one in particular. The lesser worry is "The Thousand Autumns Of Jacob De Zoet" by David Mitchell. This I was very excited about initially, as a new David Mitchell is always cause for rejoicing, and even though I was disappointed with this one, I am not sorry to have read it. But this work just did not live up to the brilliance of what has gone before with Mitchell. His latest was more a chore than a pleasure to read, and while I DID finish it, love, I know others who did not because they simply were not able. And THIS tops a list at all?????? I better not find it in the Top Ten!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, girls, I cannot believe that "Matterhorn--A Novel Of The Vietnam War" by Karl Marlantes gets on any list at all. I am SO sick and tired girls that every time some piece of tripe is written about the Viet Nam war, the heterosexual Times critics jump on the bandwagon of acclaim. Just for the record, darlings, I know Times book critic Bill Goldstein, who is so cute and gay (Ooops! Sorry, Bill!!!!!) and I will bet you tkts to Jackie Hoffman at Joe's Pub that he does NOT endorse this pretentious tripe. And how pretentious can you get with the title???? I mean, did Margaret Mitchell add "A Novel Of The Civil War" to the title of her novel, "Gone With The Wind???????????" Did Boris Pasternak subtitle "Doctor Zhivago" "A Novel Of The Russian Revolution????" Did these works need anything more to stand on their own????? Of course not; which is why they are still read today: I doubt as time intervenes Marlantes' book will be read at all, except by actual Viet Nam War participants, by whose language it is so clearly directed towards it becomes inaccessible to everyone else who tries to read it. Which is why I could not even get through a third of it. Plus it could not make up its mind what it wanted to be. Clearly, this was an autobiographic account of Marlantes' experiences, so why not market it as non-fiction, where it might have found a more appreciative readership, leaving room for more literary quality for us oh so caring Fiction readers????? Come on, dolls, wasn't Denis Johnson's "Tree Of Smoke" enough??????

I am telling you, if Marlantes' opus graces the Top Ten in Fiction, not only will I not read it, I may hold a massive protest rally at Three Lives in the name of social justice for us Fiction readers!!!!!! At least Toby can find his way into Julia Glass' texts; he is not going to go crawling through any of Marlantes' foxholes!!!!! And neither is anyone else at Three Lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See why I am worried, girls????? And don't get me started on that trio of critics and their Top Ten lists!!!!!!!! Do they think this is going to circumvent the ultimate one?????? Because if it is, honey the rally gets moved from Three Lives to the lobby of the Times building!!!!!!!

So let's lobby for better Fiction and makeup, girls!!!!!! Believe me, if I do not like the list, I have some titles you can read!!!!! Power to those who read Fiction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am signing off to read some right now, darlings!!!!!! Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!