Darlings, What About MY Shoow???????? And In MY Condition!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, it is officially the Holiday Season, and with it come traditions unique to each and every one of us!!!!! One of mine, darlings, is the Annual Post Birthday, Pre-Christmas Cold, which I am nursing right now!!!!!!! This is certainly cramping MY style, dolls! I have been ordered bedrest by Monsieur Davide, who says I must NOT go gallivanting about this eve???? But how can I be the Raving Queen, and report to all my girls about the fabulousness that is out there, if I don't get out and about????? Nevertheless, I WILL heed Monsieur's advice tonight, in light of all the social obligations I have coming up in the weeks ahead!!!!!!!

Last night, though, found us both out and about at the Public Theater and Joe's Pub, where the wonderful Jackie Hoffman did her hilarious show, "Jackie Five-OH!!!!!" celebrating not only her life, and career, but all of us who can relate to her--and we DO!!!!!! From dissing her current show, "The Addams Family" (where she plays Grandmama, the Blossom Rock role!), Queen Latifah, and the hazards of trying to make it in this town when you are older and not exactly gorgeous (which is something I KNOW about, loves, except I AM young and gorgeous!!!!!!!!!), the evening was a blast, capped by the presentation of a 50 candled cake for Jackie and an audience serenade. But would you believe none of us got a piece????? And after the overpriced drinks and munchies (albeit tasty) the fed us prior???? I have to tell you, I was a REAL bitch yesterday, because I was in Stage One of this cold, so I was not sure if I wanted to sit through this thing at all!!!! It says alot about Jackie and her talent that she was not only able to engage me-and in MY condition!!!!--but take me out of myself for awhile; no small feat, that. But, dammit, why could we not have some cake???? We had no desert, and it certainly isn't like I want a piece of Jackie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am telling you, I had to be carried out, bundled into the cab, and up the stairs to get home, because of MY CONDITION!!!!!!!!! Nevertheless, I DID make one cogent suggestion to Monsieur--that Jackie's show be followed by MINE!!!!!!!!! That is right, darlings!!!!!! Just think--a full does of The Raving Queen onstage, with me dressed in a stunning all pink suit, complete with matching pink glasses, talking live with my fans on all things Girl and Gay, just like I do here!!!!!! I am a bit concerned my wardrobe might confuse some with Elton John and the Pinball Wizard, but, honey, let me tell you, that buzzard has flown the coop!!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine it, darlings!!!!!!!! It would be fabulous, I am telling you, FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

So NOW I am waiting for the Public Theatre, Joe's Pub, Fran Drescher and her dog Esther, AND "Saturday Night Live" to call me. Please, MERYL, put in a good word for me!!!!!!!!!!!

Catch me when you can, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!