Darlings, We Had An Artistic Experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, when you are The Raving Queen, weekends are never dull. Mine started mildly enough with a nice weekday wind down evening at Monsieur Davide's, whose culinary skill is on a par with Rachel Ray and certainly outdoes that dyed haired floozy sow named Martha Stewart!!!!!! Let me tell you right now, what hair Monsieur Davide DOES have is all natural!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Saturday, we managed to squeeze through the day without any Grotesque Creature sightings, but the evening--oh, darlings!!!!!! We saw the Matthew Bourne "Swan Lake" at City Center, and I am telling you, girls, everything was beautiful at the ballet!!!!!!!!! You better believe right after I was raising my arms and stretching. I am sure the spirit of Donna McKechnie (who could still outdance even everyone in this marvelous company) was with me, and things do improve with age, or perceptions do, because I actually thought this was better the second time around. I had seen it first on Broadway back in 1998, but Monsieur Davide had not, and who am I to deny anyone, let alone my charming compadre an artistic experience??????????????????

And it was a thrilling artistic experience. From the Freudian ersatz 'Nutcracker' type opening, to the cemetery-like scene where the "Dracula" theme is used, to the pan-like swans dancing and stretching in ways that Donna would bave been proud of--girls, I am telling you, I wanted to fly away!!!!! And we sat right up front, which means there was so much light spill from the stage I felt like I should have been in my blocked place. Not to mention the sight of all those gorgeous bodily swans glistening with sweat--oh, my I feel faint!!!! Get me my smelling salts, loves!!! I may have the vapors!!!!!! But it was such a magical evening, and Monsieur Davide LOVED it, which made me happy!!!!! I pirouetted, arms extended, right out of City Center and home with Monsieur Davide!!!!!!!!!!!

i was EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED from this experience, what with the time change and all. But, girls, you are not going to believe what comes next!!!!! Sunday was very relaxing, which meant an 'SVU' marathon!!!!!!!!!! Honey, with my coffee, and Monsieur Davide and THIS, what could be better. But do you know what he had the temerity to do?????? Right before the start of this episode--they had just found a body, and I had not even seen the guest stars--he turns off the television!!!!!!!!!!
Did you hear me???????????? That's right, darlings--turned off MY television, MY 'SVU.' Listen, when I am watching this, it is serious business; I am on the beat with Elliot and Olivia, because I learn with them how to deal with all kinds of scum, which believe me in my REAL NYC life I certainly do!!!!!!!!! It was beyond pall, I want you to know!!!!!!!!!! Instant coffee, handing me dishes, Jennifer Jones is one thing--but turning off MY 'SVU'?????????? True, it did get us out of the house for a breather, and a nice romantic meal, but, believe me, when we got back, it was down to business. Especially the last two hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They saved the best for last, girls, presenting the two episodes featuring Tracy Pollan (Michael Fox's wife) in her award-winning, iconic portrayal of victim turned vigilante Harper Anderson!!!!!!!!!!!! I just LOVE Harper, and she is MY role model!!!!!!! Her picture is now on my cubicle, you better believe it.

Tracy as Harper takes you through the bureaucracy and heartbreak of being a victim!!!! The final scene, with her speech about her mother, would have done Meryl Streep proud!!!!!!! I know all about the bureaucracy and heartbreak of being the victim!!!!!!! You better believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then comes Part 2, and watch out!!!!!!!!!! Tracy as Harper shows us that if the system fails you, you do SOMETHING about it!!!!!!!!!! And you had better make sure you are as glamorous as can be while doing it???????? Have I not been saying that, all along, on here, darlings!!!!!!!!! Well, now we have Tracy and Harper to light us the way!!!!!!!!!!!

I can tell you, during her waitress gigs, I am sure no patron EVER sent back a meal served to them by Harper!!!!! They would not DARE!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE when she serves cocktails to the cops!!!!!!!!! I LOVE when she smashes Cleary's car dashboard!!!!!!!!! And I just LOVE the little smile on her face at the end, when they ask who shot whom??????????? Harper sure don't miss when she aims her gun!!!!!!! You go, girl!!!!!!!!! And you go, too, darlings!!!!!! Take a ballistics class.

If this were not emotionally jolting enough, the TV Guide onscreen goes on the fritz, so we cannot switch to "The Golden Glrls!" Quelle catastrophe!!!!!!!!!!! But THEN comes a loud knock on Monsieur Davide's apartment door--at 11:01 PM!!!! More knocks, then a voice yelling, "Police!" What is this, are we now LIVING "Law and Order????" You bet I am ready to step in as Harper; even the house robe I had on was similar to hers in her very opening scene. We opened the door, and would you believe New York's finest could not send over some hot cops?????? OK, I know not all cops are Chris Meloni, but when you are going to a gay household, girls, you better send someone appropriate. Instead, we get these Lee J. Cobb/Peter Falk wannabes, in "Columbo"-like coats, asking us if we heard anything, because supposedly there was an attempted robbery on the street out front, a scream was heard, and someone called 911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, let me tell you, we heard nothing, and I think a hell of a lot more is going on here than what we were told. Three detectives for this assignment?????? To an apartment building considerably smaller and less populated than mine???????????? There is something up--maybe attempted murder or rape--and The Raving Queen is going to be on the beat, investigating, till I find something out I can report back to my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was SO unnerved after this, it took me awhile to go to sleep. No problem for Monsieur Davide, who conked out on cue!!!!!!!!! But what am I supposed to do?????????? I mean, I will wash a few dishes, I will pick up, but I mean, give up 'SVU?' I can almost tolerate frayed panties--and that is ALL I am saying, loves, because a lady never talks about what happens with her panties--but to turn off 'SVU'??????

I know Monsieur Davide's intentions were the best; they always are, which is why I cannot be mad at him. And I am NOT an addict!!!!!!!!! But, honestly, I think he knows that I cannot do without my 'SVU'. I intend to see every single episode filmed, and I am not stopping now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, loves, it was quite a weekend!!!!!!!!!!! If the marathons stop, so be it, there is plenty more to do!!!!!!! But till such time, I have GOT to be there!!!!!!!!

But take a cue from Harper, loves!!!!!!!!!! Seek ye your justice!!!!!!!!!!
And look your best while doing so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till next time, girls!!!!!!!!!!