What A Lovely Way To Say Farewell To May!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                What a month it has been!  Arranging for, and now counting down to my colonoscopy---yes, my colonoscopy--celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the opening of "MAME" barely a month from Frankie Michaels' death, our Catskills excursion, the perfection of "She Loves Me," and the charm of that nice, young Andrew Keenan-Bolger in "Tuck Everlasting," my performance at Woodstock, kisses from Teresa, Cujo, Chloe and Missy, and the 50th Anniversary of my open heart surgery.  All in one month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, I am thrilled about these dresses girls!  The era of glamour, the fabrics, the textures!  My favorite is the one dead center, though I like the one to the right.  The third, though stylish, is just a bit too...tarty!!!!!!!!!!  And I am no tart, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    May was a lovely month. Halfway to another birthday. Everyone pray for my colonoscopy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       See you in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Onward, Career Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Yes, darlings, it is time for us Manhattan career gals to hoist up our girdles, once again, and head back to the slag heap, known as the office.  After transitioning from Bay Ridge to Hidden Ridge, in Monticello, and then back to Bay Ridge, I'm not sure where I am.

                                     Up in Monticello, we dined romantically be the water, at The Fat Ladies Cafe, with our friends, Eddie and Brian. Who, by the way, have a new addition to their home--a little shiatsu named Yofi, which means "beautiful" in Hebrew.  Our sleeping quarters, in a nearby apartment, was out of the set of "The Golden Girls," and the mattress was so hard--oh, my back!!!!!!!!!  It's like in "The Song Of Bernadette!!!!!!!!!!"  But it did not stop me from performing on the band stand in the field where Woodstock took place--and I sang "White Rabbit," to tumultuous applause.  Well, sort of.  The people striding the fence behind me all cheered!

                                       And the first night we heard a cat snarl, and I was waiting for the ghosts of the Barry Sisters to serenade us.

                                         So, that was our holiday, and here we are!  The clock is ticking down to the time of colonoscopy!  Oh, heaven help me!!!!!!!!!  Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira Just Wants Everyone To Have A Fun And Safe Memorial Day Weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 You know how lovable Gojira is, darlings!  No one likes a party, better than he, so Gojira wants everyone on here to make sure, including the sailors in town for Fleet Week, that they have a safe and fun time.

                                    Now, Gojira likes his Manhattans strong, but that does mean he wants to harm people. He wants those drinks to be so tasty, cool and refreshing, it makes one scream with pleasure!

                                      So, let us follow the advice of our lovable friend, and have a safe and fun holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       It should be a good day!  I saw Cujo this morning!  He sends his love to all!!!!!!!!

A Sad Farewell To Beth Howland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     When I got the news, last night, about the death of Beth Howland, I was in shock!

                                       First, she had died on December 31, 2015.  She did not want a fuss made, but only now is the news surfacing.

                                         Beth was an original.  Even if Vera on "Alice" and Amy in "Company" were the only things she ever did--they primarily were--it would have been enough to merit her iconic status.

                                            The first time I ever heard "Getting Married Today" was on the "Company" Original Broadway Cast LP.  I had never heard a song like it, and I could not imagine how anyone could sing it.  I have heard many renderings over the years--even practiced it, myself--but none touched Beth Howland's.

                                            Beth was Off-Broadway, in the Sixties musical, "Your Own Thing," a spoof of Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night." She was married to, and had a daughter by, Michael J. Pollard, by whom she had a daughter,   Later, she married "Murphy Brown" actor Charles Kimbrough, who, interestingly enough, had been one of her male costars in the original "Company."

                                              Too soon has Beth left us. Though she was 74 at the time of her death, she seemed eternally young, like Vera and Amy. There was a youthfulness about her that could not be tarnished.

                                                Alas, lung cancer did.

                                                But we have Beth preserved in memory, so she will live on in our hearts.

                                                 Here is Beth, with Steve Elmore and Teri Ralston, singing "Getting Married Today."  Farewell, Beth.  We shall miss you, another Legend Of The Musical Stage.

Can You Believe How NBC Hyped This Crap????????????????????

                              After the dramatic buildup from last week, I thought the finale of Season 17 on "Law And Order, SVU" would be explosive.  I was looking to see more of Brad Garrett's chilling portrayal of CO Munson, maybe explaining how and why he got that way.  I wanted to see him gunned down, I expected Barba to be taken out, I did know about Dodds, played by Andy Karl, so I basically expected, with Warren  Leight exiting the show, to see high drama, with the question being who is left to make the show continue.

                               Instead, I got......ho hum.

                                Benson, Benson, Benson. Maybe her guilt over Dodds will force her to re-examine herself, or sit in seclusion in her apartment, with the rain pouring outside, drinking and reading Joan Didion!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  We did not get enough of Brad Garrett, and we did not have the satisfaction of seeing this scum, whom he played well, by the way, get his comeuppance.

                                    If the whole Dodds thing seemed calculated, it is only because Andy Karl is committed to doing a Broadway musical---he is playing the Bill Murray role in a musical version of "Ground Hog Day."  Yes, its run is questionable, which is why I believe Dodds should have been saved, giving Karl an opening to come back, if he wants to.

                                     And speaking of coming back, when is the surprise entrance of Chris Meloni as Elliot Stabler going to take place?  We know it is inevitable. Even Meloni, though he may not want to admit it? And how about Isabel Gillies and the girls???????????

                                       After Dodds got shot, it was all about him.  No more about the outcome of Musnon, his wife and children.  Nothing about the threats on Barba, and where that was all leading.
What bad wrtiing.

                                        And then that ending by the river, with Benson and Tucker walking Noah.  Noah looked like he wanted out of the show, and so, frankly, did Kelli Giddish in this episode.  At one point, I thought they were going to throw Noah in the river.  And when are the writers going to realize that the hot pair is Barba and Tucker. The former is pining for the latter.

                                           Hard to believe this show has been renewed for an eighteenth season!  Talk about beating a dead horse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Have mercy on us!!!!!!!!!!  Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is This Bitch A Woman, Or Some Sort Of Drag Thing????????????????

                                   Let's face it, when an attractive woman wears what is considered too much makeup, she gets labeled a tramp. But when a not so attractive, mannish looking woman does, she gets labeled a drag queen.

                                     Gertrude Baniszewski, this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, lived only sixty years on this earth, but she did enough damage, while living it.

                                       First, starting at 18, she went from one abusive relationship to another. She married John Baniszewski, who abused her, and gave her six children. By the time she divorced him, at the age of 34, with six kids in tow, she married Dennis Lee Wright, another abuser, and making her child total at seven. But there were not the Von Trapp Children, my dears. Oh, no!

                                         Gertrude's crowning moment of Bitch Glory came when, Lester and Betty Likens, who worked for a travelling carnival, asked Gertrude if she would look after their two daughters--Sylvia Marie, 16, and Jenny Faye--and she agreed. But, when the couple was late on a $20 payment, the girls were beaten.

                                            But that is not all.  Beginning August, 1965, Sylvia was tortured, beaten and thrown down the stairs by Gertrude and her older children, whom she encouraged to join in. Maybe they feared their mother, if they did not, or maybe they were bitches, themselves.  The Likens girls and Gertrude's girls accused each other of being prostitutes, with the result of Sylvia suffering abuse from not only the older boys in the neighborhood, but her sister, Jenny was forced to join in!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Sylvia was kept in the basement, and when her other sister, Diana Likens, came to visit, and Gertrude would not allow her to see Sylvia. Diana spied on the house, until she spotted Jenny, who told her she was not allowed to talk to her, and that Sylvia was abandoned and abused in the basement for being a prostitute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                On October 21, 1965, Sylvia was brought up from the basement and tied to a bed by siblings, John, Jr, Coy, and Stephanie.  Sylvia was forced to rape herself with a Coke bottle, and Gertrude wrote "I am a prostitute and proud of it," on her  chest.  This was the condition in which Sylvia died.  Once here body was found, the family and neighborhood kids were arrested.
Gertrude was imprisoned, but walked out of Dec 4, 1985, twenty years after Sylvia's murder. She should have received the death sentence!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Gertrude moved to Laurel, Iowa,  (!!!!!!!) where she changed her name to Nadine Van Fossan. But karma bit her in the ass; she died of lung cancer, at 60, on June 16, 1990.

                                                     What a bitch!!!!!!!!!! She deserved more than she got!  And what about those kids and neighbors????????  I hope they rot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Incidentally, one of today's famous bitches is back in the news. Casey Anthony's investigator has revealed a sexual relationship with her--that slut would go after anybody--saying she admitted to killing her daughter, Caylee. Not that I am surprised but why?
The Susan Smith motive--they were an "inconvenience?"  Haven't any of you tramps ever heard of birth control?????????

                                                             Even Myra Hindley had sense enough NOT to have children!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer McMahon Does Not Need The Supernatural For Her Books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Well, girls, I had never read it, until now, but I am glad I did.  "Promise Not To Tell" is the story of two women--one of whom is a deceased little girl.  That child, Delores Griswold, 11, carries this story, while Kate Cypher, in the present, moves it forward.  There is no need for the supernatural shenanigans that transpire toward the climax, because Del is so compelling a figure--think of Rebecca in Du Maurier's  novel, whom one never sees, but is THERE--she overwhelms the novel.  That is Del on the cover.  Remember the classmate I wrote about who haunts me to this day, Harriet Wearie???????  Well, Del could have very well been a stand in for Harriet.

                                      Dubbed by ridicule in life and myth after death as the Potato Girl, due to her white trash upbringing, Del becomes home friends with Kate when they are girls. Then she is murdered, in 1971. Thirty years later, Kate, now a nurse living in Seattle, who has had a strange upbringing herself---by a free loving hippie mother, living in a tent!!!!!!!--is still haunted by Del, especially now that she is back in town, and the killer was never found, nor the murder solved.

                                        It is, in the end, and I have to say I was stumped.  The killer turned out to be someone other than I had thought, and I did not see it coming.

                                         There is so much psychological complexity--bullying, secrecy, homosexuality--in this novel, one does not need to make Del into a literal ghost. That is what Jennifer McMahon does, and while it does not hurt proceedings, it is not necessary, One does not need to resort to melodrama, when there is compelling drama.  I sort of felt that too, about "The Night Sister," though I can justify it there with less difficulty.

                                            This was Jennifer McMahon's debut novel, back in 2007. How the hell did I miss it????????  Well, don't you, girls!    To think there are at least four other books I have yet to read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               If I get through my colonoscopy--June 6, it will either be a Jennifer McMahon or Jane Austen Summer.  The way I read, probably both, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome To Fleet Week, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         "Anchors Aweigh, my boy! Anchors Aweigh!"

                                         Fleet Week is upon us once again, darlings!  Even as I write, the most lovable of all reptiles, Gojira, wearing his sailor hat, is at dockside, greeting the arriving sailors, offering handshakes and hugs.

                                          Gojira and I want to share the same message to all of you.  Do your patriotic duty, and invite a sailor home, for a home cooked meal.  After all, they have been at sea for a long time, and who wouldn't want to have such company present?????????  Uhm-hmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

                                            So honor our sailors with a meal, and maybe more.  It's only one week a year, girls, but it does so much for American morale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Watch out for those visible pantie lines...on the sailors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Nothing Beats Seeing "She Love Me....." With Someone You Actually Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          The show is perfection no matter what, but seeing it with someone one truly loves, as I did, yesterday afternoon, is a special treat.

                            I have to admit I had been worried about this production--would it work, what about Laura Benanti, etc.--well, I am here to tell you, it is just wonderful.

                             If you are like me, girls, you have a special relationship to this show.  When I was young and single, I played it with hopefulness for finding the same.  When I reached my thirties, even forties, I would use it as a pity party for what I did not have. But it beat watching "Fatal Attraction" or re-reading "Looking For Mr. Goodbar," as I did at my lowest points....and on Valentine's Day, yet!!!!!!!

                            So, seeing this classic show with my beloved--who had never seen it on stage, though we have often listened to the Original Cast Album--made this "She Loves Me" extra special.

                             This was the best revival of a work I have seen since Celia Keenan-Bolger's "The Glass Menagerie."  As soon as those strings commenced, at the opening, I swooned, and when Laura Benanti, as Amalia, hit the final note on "No More Candy," I knew this show was going to work.

                                          There is not a more perfectly assembled and performing company working on the Broadway stage right now.  And the sets are breathtaking. As the curtain came up, the audience applauded ecstatically. But the quieted down whenever someone would sing the gorgeous Bock-Harnick score, one of the most romantic written for Broadway. When Laura Benanti sang "Dear, Friend," oh, my God, darlings, I just sobbed. She was achingly heartbreaking.

                                            Everything you have heard about Jane Krakowski as Ilona is true....and then some.  Seeing it confirmed is no less dazzling, and, while we know Jane has worked hard, she makes it all seem effortless.

                                              Byron Jennings is the most noticeable and moving Mr. Maraczeck I have ever seen.  There is not a false move in the entire undertaking...and how often does that happen girls.

                                                For those romantics and musical theater lovers, this is the show to see.
For those who want to know why those of us love musical theater so much, see this and you will have your answer.  Oh, and couple of gentlemen--Zachary Levi and Gavin Creel (who should have been TONY nominated) are not bad either.  Neither is Nicholas Barasch as Arpad, the always reliable Peter Bartlett as the waiter, Tom McGowan, replacing Michael McGrath as Sipos ( and what happened there????????? we would all like to know)--round out things superbly. It's not just the women who are showcased here; everyone, down to the Ensemble, is.

                                                   This production transported me to theatrical realms.  I floated like a cloud to the rafters, and had to be scraped down at the end, in such a state of delirious musical theater ecstasy was I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Screw that ecstasy on the street!  Get it at Studio 54, and Rondabout's "She Loves Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                         The high will last longer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has Jennifer McMahon Written A Feminine Version of "The Other??????????????"

                                      I began thinking that, when I neared the climax of this book.  I may have to reveal some details, darlings, so, if I reach a point where i think you should stop reading, I will, as always warn you.

                                       "The Night Sister" is  deep ion McMahon territory-- rural Vermont, and the converging of past and present.  The Slater Sister, Rose and Sylvie, live in the past; their parents own the Tower Of London, which turns out to be more like its British namesake than one might think.  A generation later, in the present, Amy, Rose Slaters' daughter, discovers something unpleasant about her family, causing her to sever her friendship with Margot and Piper, sisters in the present day, and leading, in a way, to Amy's untimely adult demise.

                                         And here is where you should stop reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Where it gets like "The Other" is when the reader, as I did, starts to wonder if the secrets are supernatural or mental illness.  I have to confess, near the climax, when granddaughter Lou and grandmother Rose are together, I thought the grandmother was going to destroy them both, and save the child, as Ada had intended to do with Niles, in "The Other."  Instead, McMahon is more ambiguous, leaving all kinds of doors open; whether they are opened or not, remains to be seen.

                                         I cannot wait to read more Jennifer McMahon, darlings!!!!!!!!  She presses all my right buttons, and she will press to yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         But don't let it traumatize, you girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Remember How, Back In The Nineties, We All Wanted To Look Like Mary-Louise Parker?????????????????

                                Oh, my God, girls!  How I wanted to dress like her, wear my hair like her!  I mean, she embodied feminine perfection!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  And she still does!  Look at that hair!  I want to take a hair care course, with her, just to learn how to get gorgeous hair like that.  I  am sure genetics have something to do with it.

                                  Since first seeing her in "Longtime Companion," Mary-Louise Parker embodies characters many of us, myself included, connect to and with.  Like the girl running madly for the New York bus, at the start of "Longtime Companion."  Or Ruth, whom we all wish we could be, in "Fried Green Tomatoes."  Or the mathematician who could not comprehend her own genius, in "Proof."

                                    I related to them all, because of Mary-Louise.  And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

                                     Miss Ruth was a lady, and so is Mary-Louise. Though, it would appear, like Idgie and myself, she has a wild side.  But she also has familial and community loyalty.  What a great gift.

                                        Even more, in addition to her acting talent, is, being, a true Daughter Of The South, she is a Survivor.  Like Scarlett.  She has been through things that would have challenged Scarlett, and I am inspired and encouraged by her getting through them.  As if her experiences, which she shares in her book, "Dear Mr. You," which I cannot wait to read,  tells me I can get through things, too.

                                           I cannot wait to see Mary-Louise in her next endeavor!!!!!!!!!!
               
                                            But what is the secret of that hair??????????????????????

Sick Psycho Bitch Convicted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            It was like one of the suspense novels I read. On Memorial Day Weekend, 1991, Michelle Lodzinski, then a 24-year-old single mom, went to a carnival at the John F. Kennedy Park in Sayreville. She claims he was abducted, that she went to get a soda, turned her back, and her five-year-old son, Timmy Wiltsey, disappeared. Police searched, but they, and everyone else was suspicious. But, when Timmy's body turned up, badly decomposed, eleven months later at the Raritan Center, an industrial park in Edison.  I think he was found in a drainage ditch.

                            Sayreville and Edison. All white trash communities of New Jersey. And Lodzinksi had been from South Amboy, another place of trash.

                               This bitch took her child to some hidden part of the carnival, and strangled him to death.  The reason--"because he was a burden."

                                 Fuck you, bitch!  This makes you the winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award,  As well as the fact it took 25 years to haul your sorry ass off to jail, where you will rot for the remainder of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As her own brother said, Timmy has finally gotten justice.

                                    To think this piece of garbage bagged Jersey for Port St. Lucie, Florida, with some snookered husband, and two children, now 12 and 14.  Bet you kept your past quiet, Michelle, so now you ruined this family, as well.

                                       You should not be allowed near people.  You should spend your prison time, in the hole, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I mean, it's not like your'e attractive or have social engagements.  Hookers working the streets have more class than you!  They don't kill children, simply because they cannot stand being a mother!

                                           I remember when this happened, being a former Jersey resident, myself.  I knew she was guilty, and this was three years before Susan Smith set the gold standard for bad mothering.

                                             So, Michelle, this accolade of Bitch Of The Week is your last.  Hope your fellow inmates tear your hair out,  or tear you pieces.

                                                And when they do--and they will!!!!!!!!!--think about what you inflicted on your own child, Timmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Apology To My Readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I am not sure who is wrong here, but it could very well be me, so let me apologize outright, to save myself from anxiety, of which I have more than enough.

                                     It looks like the ridiculous "Feud" project, concocted by Ryan Murphy, is taking fruition.  I still don't know whether I will be playing Gina Gillespie, but it seems like I got the casting wrong.

                                       In the first post, I said Jessica Lange would play Bette Davis, and Susan Sarandon Joan Crawford. It is actually the reverse. Which is even more ridiculous.

                                        Making an effort, I can see Sarandon as either. But Lange as Crawford?  Come on; she is not cut out for it!  Jessica is subtle and understated--two things Crawford was not.  I can even see how she could made over into Davis, but Crawford????????  No way!

                                          So, it looks like this is going to even more awful than first imagined.

                                           Meanwhile,  let's find out what Doggie Downer Olivia is in for on 'SVU' tonight!

                                           Talk to you tomorrow, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember When Burgeoning, Baby Boomer Gays, Would Attempt To Replicate This Pose???????????????????

                             Believe it or not, darlings, thoughts of "Sweet Charity" came up, while I was doing some research on Mary-Louise Parker.    I was looking at one of the few lighthearted clips of an early film of hers--"Longtime Companion, " involving the scene where the young man, thinking he is alone in his apartment, puts on the album of "Dreamgirls," and lip syncing to it, until his boyfriend walks in.

                               Of course, when "Dreamgirls" was first out, I did, this, too--and still do, sometimes. But it took me back to 1966, and this record cover of "Sweet Charity," which all us burgeoning and I am sure even more out gay men, back then, would try and replicate, themselves.

                                 Darlings, it was so much fun.  I used to find a long tank undershirt, the kind I wore as a child, dress in my undies, grab one of my mother's purses, and do this pose in the mirror, and wherever, in order to try and become "Sweet Charity."  Even though I had not heard the score yet, the cover was enough.  Of course, once I heard "Hey, Big Spender," all bets were off.

                                    I still attempt to do this every so often. But the years have dragged on.  It's not like it was, when I was young.

                                   
                                   Now, here is that number done by a bunch of guys!  See how well it works?

                                    You know they all imitated Gwen, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome Another Reader To This Hallowed Spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I want to welcome Sammi Leigh to this blog, and hope you enjoy days and days of my brand of the bizarre, over coffee; this blog goes great with coffee.  I speak for myself, because when I am home I have a cup beside me while writing.

                                   I am always curious what particular set of circumstances draws or drew readers here, but I am grateful to you all.   There is a lot coming up in the months ahead, so stay tuned; it may not be a laugh riot, but it will be SOMETHING.

                                     To welcome Sammi, I am going to use what I dub this blog's unofficial theme song-- Deborah Harry, singing "Call  Me!"

                                       Welcome, Sammi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Has Ryan Murphy Lost His Mind????????????

                              I guess Ryan Murphy is determined to be the William Castle of his generation, with his combination of camp and horror.  Trouble is, he forgets Castle made some classics, like "House On Haunted Hill," and the masterpiece classic, "Rosemary's Baby," (though most of its success belongs to Roman Polanski!!!!!!!!) and while some of Murphy's work on "American Horror has had classic moments, only "Coven" holds together, for me.

                                I had no idea he had done "The People VS. O.J. Simpson.  I mean, I just LOVED Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark!!!!!!!!!  But, then I just LOVE Marcia Clark!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 But now, he is going to do--"Feud!"  It should be logo-ed with an explanation point.  At first I thought it might a collage of feuds--Bette and Joan, Joan and Olivia, the Kardashians, but Ryan has gone really crass this time. He is going do the Bette-Joan brouhaha surrounding the filming of "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?"  Which means, that whomever is playing Bette and Joan, is going to have to recreate certain key scenes from the Aldrich film.

                                   For this endeavor he has enlisted Jessica Lange (Bette) and Susan Sarandon (Joan).   Are you kidding me?  Even with make-up and all, how the hell is either going to morph into either?  Remember my post with the photo of Sarah Paulson, made up to look like Jane and Blanche?  Now, THAT would have worked!  And too bad Anne Bancroft is gone--for so many reasons--because, on the basis of "The Turning Point," she and Shirley MacLaine would have been perfect!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Hey, Ryan, did you ever think of Faye Dunaway?  Or how about Jennifer Jason Leigh as Bette, and someone her age for Joan?

                                      Jessica Lange and Susan Saradon?  You have GOT to be kidding me!

                                       But, wait, dolls; it does get better--Stanley Tucci as the hottest looking Jack Warner ever to be seen; you can bet Warner never looked as good as Tucci. Alfired Molina as Robert Aldrich, and, get this, Judy Davis as Hedda Hopper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Can you believe it?  I am telling you, hons, this is going to be SO awful; the camp riot of the season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           So, Ryan, I am begging you--can I be seen for it??????  I want to play Gina Gillespie, who played the child, Blanche, and delivers the line that has almost become my personal mantra--"I won't forget.  You BET I won't forget."

                                             You better believe it, Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, The Places We Can Go With Auntie Alvin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              On Sunday, my beloved and I piled into Auntie Alvin's car, and whizzed off on an adventure.  As we began speeding down Ridge Blvd., we saw the woman, whom we refer to as "Joan," being code for Bay Ridge's version of Joan Didion, walk out of her building, cigarette in hand.  I almost shouted out for Joan to come with us; what a jaunt that would have been!  And what a wild couple Auntie Alvin and Joan would make!!!!!!!!!!!

                                We traveled to Staten Island, which I don't mean to disparage, but honestly, after what I endured, what can I do?  At Auntie Alvin's request, we dined at the Hibachi Grill And Supreme Buffet.  Now, I am not a buffet person; an exception being The Court Of Two Sisters. But that is in New Orleans, so what do you expect?

                                  A lot of horns tooted at us--I wonder why???--and Auntie Alvin got confused a couple of times. But it was the experience I had at the above place that has soured me altogether on buffets, and Staten Island, in general.

                                    I mean, what is wrong with these people? Do they have ***t for brains?  The buffet was overwhelming; not just Asian, but everything--Italian, meat, chicken, you name it.  That didn't bother me; I just  picked. But, when I came to the desert bar, there was a yummy assortment of fruit, which is a nice light way to polish off a meal.  I had my taste buds set for the honey dew--until this fat guy standing over it, next to me, with the tongs right in front of them, ignored the utensil and stuck his hand into the honey dew, grabbed a bunch, and put it on his plate.

                                     I walked away.  That finished it for me.  Then I encountered my beloved, who informed me we would never come back here, because the food and clientele were so low end. When I told him what had happened with me, that cemented it.  I went home that evening, certain I was going to get some kind of food poisoning, because who knows what else this guy, or others there, had touched?

                                        Which is why I hate buffets and salad bars.  But the trip was not a total lost. We stopped at a Rite-Aid, where my beloved found items not available in our neighborhood, then we went to a Barnes And Noble, where I immediately found two books it would have been hard to find in Manhattan these days--"Promise Not To Tell," by Jennifer McMahon (to be discussed later), and the Fannie Flagg classic, "Fred Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe."  You know we will discuss that one, dolls!

                                           We persevered and we survived.  No food poisoning, and Paula Zahn put us to sleep.

                                              Honestly, darlings, I cannot blame Staten Island for all this. But, if there, avoid this eatery under all circumstances!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   

Look What I Got To Inspire Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I guess I won't get "Fried Green Tomatoes" off my mind, till I actually fry some up!  Meanwhile, once I discovered this T-shirt online, I just HAD to have it!   I may not be able to become a Great Lady, like Miss Ruth--whom Mary Louise Parker was just perfection as!!!!!!-- but I have this now to inspire me!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I wonder if Mary Louise Parker would approve?  Or gets a commission from this????????  She should, for all her fine work!

                                           Is indelible ink still around?  Because if I am ever wearing this, and cross paths with Mary Louise, I want this shirt signed.  Or maybe my copy of Fannie Flagg's book. That would be easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Now, if only I could cook, and run a business as skillfully as Miss Ruth!!!!!!!!!!!

A Happy Birthday To Andrew Keenan-Bolger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I swear, girls, I don't hope I lose my gay card!  What with all the talk on Friday of Fatima, and Mrs. Voorhees, I had forgotten that May 13 is also the birthday of Bea Arthur.  And I read something that on that day, one is supposed to listen to her singing "Don't Rain On My Parade????"  The things a girls still can learn.  Does such a recording exist??? Because THIS I have got to hear!

                                Just one more thing, darlings.  On Friday, while doing some banking, who should I bump into, but our own neiighborhood drag queen, Miss Gloria Gloryhole!  The outfits are hers; the name is mine!  I hadn't seen Gloria for over a year--in Bay Ridge, no less!--and wondered what in the world had become of her.  She must have been on some round the world gig or cruise, but she was fine and dandy, just struttin' her stuff, fit to please!!!!!!!!!!!  Welcome back, Gloria!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But today is all about wishing a Happy Birthday to that Toast Of Broadway, Andrew Keenan-Bolger.  I will not reveal his age, but suffice it to say he can go the youth route for a long time to come!  Now, if 'Tuck' is dark today, I wish Mr. Keenan-Bolger all he would want for on a day that is not only his birthday, but free from work!  I know the value of a day off, believe me, darlings!!!!!!!!!!

                                    So, whatever it is--sleep, mimosas, boys popping out of cakes, go for it, Andrew!  And have a great day!

                                     Which reminds me of something I had wanted to get in during my 'Tuck' posting.  One thing Mr. KB can do amazingly is dance.  He doesn't get praised enough for it, but after seeing him in 'Tuck' and "Newsies," I am telling you, he could do "A Chorus Line" tonight.  In fact, I see a revival in his future.

                                         No, not "Gypsy."  That has been almost done to death. But, if one is going to continually revive shows, how about Andrew in 'How To Succeed?'  Not that Daniel Radcliffe was a loss--he wasn't--but his musical theater roots are still being planted.  His acting and dancing were superb--the latter a surprise---but he needs to work on the vocal strength of his singing voice.  Andrew's musical roots, on the other hand, are as solid as that tree on stage in the show, and he projects the energy of ten horny truckers at a highway rest-stop!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           But he is all charm and tenderness on stage. Which would make him perfect for the Loesser show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Anyway, Happy Birthday, Andrew!  Continued success, and more!!!!!!!!!!!

This Commercial Is A Hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Face it, darlings, it takes a Raving Queen to spot this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Have you seen the Stanley Steemer commercial, with the service worker, and Kyle? Kyle is as cute as all get out, and so is "Mr. Steemer," as the tyke calls him.  But the more I watch this commercial, the more I am convinced of one thing.

                                   Kyle has the hots for Mr. Steemer!  Look how he runs around excitedly, and calls out, "Goodbye, Mr. Steemer."

                                   Yes, girls, I believe Kyle is the symbol of burgeoning gay youth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Here is what his parents should watch out for.

                                      1. While riding in the car, does Kyle wave to all the truckers and firefighters?  I did!

                                       2. He exchanges his animal mobile for pictures of Justin Bieber!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        3. He is fascinated by the cooking recipes and dress designs in Mom's mags!

                                         4. He plays the cast album of "American Psycho" so loudly, it drives his parents
                                             crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          5. By the time he is grown, Madonna will be a cultural antique, but he will
                                              understand her cultural impact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           6. When Kyle hits puberty, no  more visits with "Mr. Steemer."

                                            7. Kyle will start asking for"Milk" as a movie, not a beverage.

                                             8. He will try make-up and dress like Mom during prepubescence!

                                             9. He will have read "Valley Of The Dolls" by sixth grade.

                                           10. From the shitload of money he makes from these commercials,
                                                  Kyle will enroll in a college with an excellent Theater Department!

                              See how much one can pick up from a commercial?

                               One thing you can't fault Kyle for is good taste!  Mr. Steemer IS hot!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               You're on you way, Kyle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                See for yourselves, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How About Those Life Alert Commercials, Dolls??????????????

                                         This is not the photo I wanted to post, but it comes the closest to what I want to express.  Now, everybody, no matter how old or young, has falling accidents, so I don't mind if Life Alert uses a few slightly robust folk in their commercials.  But, first, let's get someone who can do some decent line readings!!!!!!!!!!  It's not like I am asking for MERYL here, but come on; it's an acting gig, put some effort into it!

                                           There is only one who does, and that is the photo I wanted to find.  To voice over accompaniment, a chubby blond haired woman, in her late sixties or early seventies, is flat on the floor, supposedly screaming silently.  She is conveying emotion, all right, but it is the wrong kind! God forgive me, but every time I see the woman in this add, I think she is having an orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            I mean, some might need Life Alert, after having one, but to look as though in the throes of one does the product a disservice.  Is Life Alert even aware of how foolish this looks?  The woman looks like she is auditioning for Molly Bloom in a Theater For The Deaf Production of "Ulysses."
And from how she looks on film, I would give her the part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Get your act together!  Or get your actors to convey the right ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Not like that guy you finally got rid of, who made it sound he was sorry Life Alert saved his mother-n-law's life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Do You Know What Today Also Is??????????????

                                 I am telling you, this is the Friday The 13th to end them all!  Because it is also May 13, 2016, which happens to be--are you ready?????--the 99th Anniversary of the initial apparition of Our Lady Of Fatima, to Lucia dos Santos, and her cousins, Jacinta and Francisco Marto!

                                 We all know how holy these children were, especially Jacinta, and all she endured.  But to think it has been 99 years!  You know what comes after 99???????  I  bet hotels in the area are booked already, and I understand that, next year, Jacinta and Francisco are to be canonized as saints, and I think some kind of miracle akin to the sun, will happen!!!!!!!!!  In fact, I'd keep my eyes skyward today, just in case!

                                   Bet Sister Camille will be over there, next year!!!!!!!!!!!!  If ever Earth has a divine emissary now, it is she!!!!!!!!!!  I will keep you posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    So, one does  not just camp it up, on this day!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Let's have a little reverence, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Know What Day It Is, Girls????????????????

                                     Yes, my dears, here we are, facing another Friday The 13th, and you know what means!  I have my TV all cued up for Mrs. Voorhees and Company; next to Betsy Palmer, Jeannine Taylor, as Marcie, steals the show.  I love her Kate Hepburn impersonation.

                                     This is the day we all go around, saying "Kill her, Mommy!  Kill her!"  I was thinking; this day should be celebrated!  Just as they have Krampus parades in Europe, we should have Mrs. Voorhees and Jason parades each time this day roles around, especially in New York, and San Francisco!!!!!!!  I mean, Greenwich Village??????????  Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       So, Happy Friday The 13th, however you celebrate it!  Lets take a look at the brilliant Betsy again!  How I miss her!!!!!!!!

Did The Idea Of The Dominatrix Originate With This Literary Classic?????????????????????

                                      I have to wonder, darlings, just as I had to wonder if all the projections of male sexuality, and their interactions with women, were projections of H. Rider Haggard's own mind.  I believe they were; the man does not strike me as gay, but terribly repressed, and scared to death of women.  I wonder what kind of upbringing he had????????????

                                        Since I was a child, I had heard about "SHE", or as she is called in the novel, "She-who-must-be-obeyed!"  Uh huh!!!!!!! This bitch never met me, so let's not talk about who obeys who, darlings.  From the supposedly brilliant 1935 film--which I am certain uses some of "King Kong's" sets, as it was shot on the RKO lot, to the campy version of the Sixties, with a scantily clad Ursula Andress, in the only pathetically defining role of her career, "SHE" has been out there.  But I had never read it, nor had I read "King Solomon's Mines."

                                        Think of the 'Inidiana Jones" movies.  Think of Jules Verne.  This is the terrain "SHE" traffics in, though I have to say, Haggard is not as compelling a writer as Verne.  His ideas, and storytelling skill is, but his prose style comes off as a bit stodgy, much like the male characters in the book.

                                         I won't say I had a difficult time reading "SHE," but, considering the genre, it was more a labor than I had anticipated.  I kept hearkening back to "The Mysterious Island," of "Journey To The Center Of The Earth," none of which was as belabored as this.

                                          As for "SHE" herself, she is some sly piece.  Wait till you find out her secret; I am telling you, girls, this is a lesson in make-up and beauty treatment validation.  If you do not pay attention to your appearance, look what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I am glad I read "SHE," --hey "Fifty Shades of Grey" is a direct descendant!!!!!!--and I do want to read more of Haggard, but after reading this, I would not want to be "SHE" for anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             I've got my own Kingdom--excuse me, Queendom!!!!!--to run, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

This Bitch Couldn't Pull Off Her Scheme, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Just because I was ill, ad had to see a doctor, darlings--I am OK!!!!!!!--does not mean I neglect my duties on here.  I knew yesterday was Bitch Of The Week, but I had no time in the morning yesterday, which is when I do much of my writing, so here I am today, with Belated Bitch Of The Week.

                                 Now, a few days ago I caught a rebroadcast of the 1994 "Law And Order" episode, "Golden Years," which targets elder abuse and greed.  An elderly woman was starved to death, and died, by her granddaughter, who looked after her--yeah, right!!!!!!!!!!!!--because she needed a large amount of money for her law school tuition--so why not hasten Granny's departure?????????????

                                  This granddaughter was no Red Riding Hood!  Her name was Laurie Bauer, and she was wonderfully played by Julie Dretzin.  And she is the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                                    Laurie was a real piece of work, but I have to wonder about her mother, Eileen Bauer, played by Frederica Meister.  This was her own mother; why did she toss all the responsibility onto Laura????????  From the scenes I saw, it wasn't like she was living some Blythe Danner lifestyle!!!!!!!  Shouldn't she have been more vigilant about her mother's care???????????  Damn right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Now, since Laurie was the kind of sick, sociopathic individual, would you want her as a lawyer?  Assuming her record didn't surface, because she would have been disbarred.  But she was too narcissistic to think of practical matters.

                                       I don't know how much money she needed, but let me tell you, Laurie, if you pulled off this scheme in 2016, whatever amount Granny had in 1994, would barely cover a semester of your precious l;aw school.

                                        Poor Eileen Bauer.  If Laurie had gotten away with this, she would have much to fear from her own daughter.  You don't think Laurie would pull the plug on her, if needed?  She wouldn't even blink an eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         This young, deadly bitch is right where she belongs!  What ever made Laurie think she could become a lawyer???????????

                                          She was simply following in the tradition of Sante Kimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First, We Lose Patty Duke!!!!!!!!!! Now, We Lose Her "Father!!!!!!!!!!"

                                More people referred to character actor William Schallert as "Patty Duke's father" than knew his actual name.  His face was familiar, turning up everywhere before and after the show, but it was the teenage situation comedy which gave him a name.

                                 On May 8, he died. at the age of 93. His wife, Leah Waggner, died last year, which may have hastened things. No cause of death was given, but, darlings, he was 93, and that is OLD!!!!!!!!!  Though I am feeling increasingly old as these icons of my generation depart.

                                  Mr. Schallert died in Pacific Palisades, CA. He is survived by four sons, and seven grandchildren. He will be missed by all who knew him personally, and only through TV appearances.

                                   Jean Byron passed away ten years ago, in 2006, at the age of 80. She, of course, was Patty's "mother," Natalie Lane.

                                   If I were Eddie Appelgate (Richard) or Paul O'Keefe (Ross Lane) I would be very nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let Me Tell You, Gojira Is Pretty Miffed, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Poor, lovable Gojira!  Seems like he is getting tossed aside, like Paula Zahn.  He doesn't deserve that, and he is fire breathing mad!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't blame him one bit.

                            He is particularly mad at Warner Bros. execs.  They have decided to cut back the release dates of his upcoming two films.   "Godzilla 2," which was to have been released this Summer, has been set back till 2019!!!!!!!!!!!   "Godzilla Vs. King Kong," which he did not want to make, until an injunction was brought in, and he was threatened with co-starring with Mothra, has been postponed till 2020!  This second film was only agreed to, so he could donate his salary to Sister Camille, and the Sisters Of Mercy!!!!!!!!!!

                             I talked with Gojira, and he was plenty riled.  "After sixty plus years of being the BIGGEST star in Hollywood, and all my humanitarian work, this is how they treat me???????  Discarding me for things like 'Green Lantern,' and 'Transformers?'  Who gives a rat's ass about fucking Green Lantern??????  I apologize for cussing, boys and girls, you know I love you all, but I am plenty miffed.  If Hollywood thought BARBRA was difficult, wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Rumor has it Gojira is going out West, peek in at some Warner Bros. board meetings, and let out some roars. He may even singe the room with some fire breath!!!!!!!!!!!

                                If I worked for Warner Bros., I would either leave now, or get an earlier release date for these films!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But don't worry, Gojira!  Even if these films will get released, they will tank at the box office!

                                   You are the one who draws the crowds in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You God, Mary, Bernadette, Jacinta, And Others For The Past 50 Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           I might not have had them, had this operation not been available at the time. As my mother always said, my body would have given out around age 14.  I would have missed it all!!!!!!!!!!

                            Anyway, half a century ago today, I was 11 years old, in the fifth grade, and stretched out on a gurney at New York Hospital, Cornell Medical Center, knocked out with gas--not pleasant--and hauled into the operating room for open heart surgery.  I had been born premature, hadd a hole in the lower left ventricle, and this had to be corrected before puberty--which I did not even know about, then!

                              I did know, then, that "MAME" was getting set to open on Broadway, and I would much rather have been Frankie Michaels, then.  Except, here I am, and Frankie, poor thing, is gone.

                                What was the worst thing about the experience  For several days--maybe a week--around the clock, I had to have antibiotic injections.  Now, like most kids, I hated needles; I would react much differently, now.  But these injections would be into my legs, and the needle did not hurt, but when the medicine went into the bloodstream, the pain, for me, then, was almost unbearable.  But, then I was only 11.

                                       I remember my pediatric cardiologist was Dr. Mary Ellen Engel, who died years ago, at the age of 86.  And the surgeon was a short guy named Frank Rado.  Dr. Engel, was a pioneer in a little known field, and at a time when women were not accepted in medicine. She must have had a tough road to travel.

                                    I missed 34 days of school because of this; it is a wonder I was promoted.  And once I got home, classmates came to visit and brought gifts.  Which I highly appreciated, and recall to this day.

                                      To think that half a century has passed.  I am now 61, and while there were some rough patches, it has been worth it.  Today, I am sure kids facing the procedure I did had an easier time of it than I did, back then.

                                       At least, that is my hope for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      That, and many years ahead for my beloved and myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Corporation T-Shirt, Stupid Bloody Tuesday, Boy, You Were A Naughty Boy, You Let Your Knickers Down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            OK, OK, I cribbed some of the Beatles lyrics for my own, but, I swear, girls, this is how I think I first heard "I Am The Walrus."  So, why would I be writing about this now?

                              Well, let's face it, it reflects the political times. Because we know the "Corporation T-Shirt" who "Lets His Knickers Down" refers to none other than Donald Trump!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 So, is "I Am The Walrus" a foreshadowing for Fascism??????????  I don't think it was when first written, but the way things have turned out lately, it looks like it could be!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Still, darlings, I prefer my Beatles the way they were intended--whimsical and lyrical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Here's the song!  Make up your minds, for yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!