We All Have Days Like This, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       
                            Hopefully, for our sake, none so bad as poor Daisy, and especially poor Brittany Murphy. But when you feel you need any kind of relief, just what is one supposed to reach for?

                               Generally for me,  it is some kind of stimulant, whether caffeine--that nice combination of hot and buzz makes me mellow out--or a nice Margarita, with salt on the rim, which will cool one down, and sass you back up with the salt! Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!  I am becoming tempted already.

                                Getting time for my caffeine fix. Let's hope they have my chocolate chip muffin tops!

                                 Better than Valium, Daisy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye To The Cruelest Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                Actually, April, for being such, you were not too bad.  My father has reached the grand old age of 99 today, we got through without any major tragedies, and now we have the merry month of May to look forward to, signalling the arrival of Summer and June.  Even the rides at Coney Island are now open on the weekends.

                  And BARBRA STREISAND turned 72?????????  Will she ever stop????????  Bet my father beats her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    So, April, you were great! We saw "Bullets Over Broadway," went to two gay weddings, so who knows what is next for Monsieur and I down the aisle???????????/

                      Will March march?  No, but April May!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

No, Darlings, This Is Not One Of Cathy Mitchell's Dump Cakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           I would hardly serve White Trash fare like that, to the subject of this cake, namely my very own father.  That is right, today is actually the day my father reaches the ripe old age of 99.  That is exactly 36, 135 days, all of them pretty much clear headed. How many who reach this point can claim that?  Hell, how many do reach this point?

                             Well, my father has.  I don't know if it was clean living, marrying my mother, raising me, or a combination of all three, but it got him to a point few of us in life get to.

                                And we all know what comes after 99!!!!!!!!!!  At this point, I don't see any reason why that should be???????????????

                                 Guess I should be practicing "On The Twentieth Century" to sing at my father's forthcoming 100th Birthday Party!

                                    Happy Birthday, Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, Dears, I Finally Read It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Like I said, several posts back, I have been a gay interrupted for years.  Now that I have the book, I can say, honey, we ALL lived it!!!!!!!  Last night, I felt like Brittany Murphy eating Rotisserie chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              On one level, the movie is better; on another, the book. Take Kaysen's observations, which are first rate.  Book wise, these are the best part of "Girl, Interrupted," the most insightful, and yet they are not very dramatically exciting. Compared to the amount of screen time they get on film, Daisy hardly figures in the book, and same, in a sense, with Lisa.  What the filmmakers did, to make a palatable film, was to take a look at the more dramatic aspects of the text, and heighten them for cinematic purpose.  Visits to the ice cream parlor are mentioned, for example, but there is no confrontation with Bonnie Gilcrest and her mother, which was sheer genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And any of us girls will just love the way Lisa tells off everyone in her sight. Just like I want to do, right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But, is it as good as the movie??????????  No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Of course, if the movie had never been made, this would not have been known.  But anyone coming to "Girl, Interrupted" after 1999, cannot judge one, without evaluating the other.

                                    Both have their merits.  But the satisfactions delivered are distinctly different with each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The TONY Nominations Are In, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But This Is All That Matters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    Yes, girls, as far as I am concerned, as long as the two best performances on Broadway this Season--Jessie Mueller in "Beautiful", and Celia Keenan-Bolger as Laura in "The Glass Menagerie," as long as they and their shows win, that is all I give a rat's ass about!  I mean, when you think about it, what else of any worth was there on Broadway this season?????????????????


                      You can bet that, right up till they are handed their TONY'S, Celia and Jessie will get full press coverage from the Raving Queen. And, if anyone wants to take me on, well, as Angelina Jolie, as Lisa, said,.in "Girl, Interrupted," "I'm sick, Daisy. We all know THAT."  But, for those who challenge me, what does that make the  rest of you????????? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

                         In other words, you can't win here! Only Jessie and Celia can, and will!  I  can't wait to see them on TONY night, in their gowns, knowing I told you so, first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Congratulations to Jessie and Celia, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am Telling You, This Is Going To Be The Next White Trash Food Fad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                 
                                   Girls, not since I first saw the Edwards Creme Pie ads, has a commercial gotten me all excited.  When I saw Trash Cook Queen Cathy Mitchell and her Dump Desserts and Dump Dinner recipes, I knew we had had to a new culinary low, that I am just dying to try.  Of course, you have to realize these meals very probably are diarrhea inducing, so if you need to shit, or are having a colonscopy, or just need to regulate that system, Cathy Mitchell's Dump Meals could be more delicious than that awful concoction one drinks before a colonoscopy.

                                      Darlings, if you thought Hamburger Helper was low class (or its fish counterpart, Tuna Helper!!!!!!!!!!!!!) this will make it seem like haute cuisine.

                                       In fact, the whole process cannot be so accurately captured, without witnessing Cathy do it herself. Wait till you see her pour soda over a cake recipe.  A Diet soda for a guilt free dessert!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the women who are singing their praises are so slender, they don't look like they gain an ounce on this stuff.  Of course, being from the South and all, it does not say how many teeth they have.  In which case, this is the perfect thing to serve when you have food challenged guests over to dinner, like our Auntie Alvin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Just take a look, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Working late, you career gals?  Just come home, and dump and dump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Eat, and shit!

                                          What could be easier????????????????????????

                                             And I just LOVE Cathy Mitchell !!!!!!!!  I can't wait to hear more from her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should Today Be A National Gay Holiday? You Have To Get Brooklyn And Broadway In There, Too!!!!!!!!!! Trouble Is, If You Make Streisand A Holiday, Will Lady Gaga Be Far Behind????????????

                                Today that Old Girl, who was once a "Funny Girl"--Barbra Streisand--hits the age of 72!!!!!!!!!  Are she and Brolin still together?  I think so, though, from what I understand, it looks like she is now scarfing down ice cream, while he trolls the Sunset Strip.  Hell, he's better looking than she is now; he should not have much trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Of course, she is a Major Gay Icon, which makes the question of her birthday being a National Gay Holiday a valid one.  Forget Lady Gaga for a minute; Liza would want to get her two cents in!!!!!!!!  Not to mention Madonna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I wish BARBRA the happiest of birthdays.  I wish her the best, even though I know she will never hit those notes in "The Music That Makes Me Dance," like she did on the "Funny Girl" cast album, now 50 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hell, who could?   Don't even mention me, dolls; let's see how I am holding up, at 72!!!!!!!!!!!!   Which is lesser time than I care to think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     But Happy Birthday, BARBRA!  After all, gay men who need you are the luckiest "People" in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Is Gay Ice Cream So Accessible In Brooklyn, But You Have To Go All the Way To Bayonne, NJ, For These Edwards Creme Pies????????????????

                                  Honestly, I have known people who were from Bayonne, and none were proud of the fact, or ever had anything good to say about it!!!!!!!!!! So. how come it turns out to be the only place in the Metropolitan Area, where you can buy these Edwards Creme Pies that came being advertised nightly on TV????????   It all reminds me of the early days--the very early days--of Dr. Pepper, and Krispy Kreme Donuts, when only in the South could one gorge on such things. And I spent lots more time in the South, especially when younger.  I am less likely to go there, than I am to go to Bayonne, NJ, even though it is closer????????  I mean , I was in Jersey City once, and that was scary enough!!!!!!!  But Bayonne?   Wasn't that where the sleazy rooming house, where Joesph Cotten, as Uncle Charlie, is first seen, holed up, in Hitchcock's "Shadow Of A Doubt?"  Probably lives in the same building at that Nasty Hostess up at Demarchelier!!!!!!!!!!  So, I have no good reason to go to Bayonne, just for a lousy creme pie?????????  And it probably isn't as succulent and luscious, as it looks on TV!   The camera does do wonders, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     However, if any of you are brave enough to venture forth, do let me know!  And bring back the Chocolate Creme with the drizzle, and the Custard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Not Just Women Who Are "Fatal Attractions," Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Poor Glenn Close. Twenty seven years, after playing Alex Forrest in "Fatal Attraction," she is still looked at as some pariah, who helped define the notion that women on the make are avaricious and dangerous.

                         But a murder case that happened almost ten years ago--on October 25, 2004--in affluent Nantucket--and that made national coverage, from People to New York Magazines, should serve as a reminder that not all predators are female.

                          Poor Beth Lochtefeld!!!!  She was like a lot of us--bright, successful, in everything but love. In fact, she was so successful as an architectural entrepreneur,  she amassed enough cash to be able to flee from the so-called "rat race" to peaceful Nantucket, settle down in a cozy cottage by the sea, and live a  community active life, known and beloved to all.

                             At a friend's party, around Spring 2004, she was introduced by a friend to someone thought to be perfect for Beth.  His name was Thomas Toolan. The third, no less.  He was 37, to her 44, boyishly handsome but seemingly romantically mature, a Wall Street Banker--the package was perfect.

                               Too perfect.  In fact, it had cracks in it, that eventually became apparent to Beth. Like a history of drinking and drugs he tried to conceal.  And other girl friends, who dropped him, for being violent or creepy.

                                It turned out Beth began slowly seeing these aberrations, too. She told her father, she told her friends, she told everyone she knew.  And she came to the conclusion that she had to tell Toolan she could no longer be in a relationship with him.

                                  For the past six months, the two had enjoyed a long distance courtship between Toolan's tony Upper West Side pad, and Beth's elegant New England enclave.  To talk about the breakup, Beth decided to go to Toolan's.  Who is to say this was right, or wrong?  Or that if he had gone to Beth, it would have turned out differently?  My guess is if Toolan had gone there, what happened would have taken place sooner.

                                    Because, in New York, when Toolan was told by Beth that they were finished--and she did it as graciously as one could--Toolan, in true psycho fashion, flipped out, to the point of keeping her prisoner in his apartment.  She had to wait until the early morning hours, when he was fast asleep, drunk and passed out, before she could leave. She left around 3AM, and caught an early flight back to Nantucket, on October 23, 2004.  The next day, on the 24th, Beth packed up what belongings of Toolan's remained in her place, and graciously mailed them to him.  She told the postal worker who helped her she could no longer remain in a relationship with a boyfriend who was "psycho."  Unfortunately, she had no idea how dangerously psycho he was.

                                   Toolan would not accept the rejection. He tried flying to Nantucket on the 24th, but was detained for carrying a knife on board.  He made it to the island the next day, rented a car, bought a boating knife at a fishing supply store, and went to see Beth.  By 1 PM, knowing she was supposed to be pick up her nephew, a neighbor came by--and discovered Beth hand been murdered.

                                      It did not take cops long to track Toolan down on a DUI in Rhode Island. Eventually, he was convicted of Beth's murder, and is serving a Life Without Parole sentence.  I would like to smack him across the face.

                                        So, Tom Toolan, you are the winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.  I don't understand how the two families of the victim and killer can have such an amicable relationship; they must have the patience of saints.  But I don't, so I consign you to the Hell you made for yourself.

                                          "Fatal Attraction" works both ways, darlings.  Just make sure not to get caught in its trap!

It's Like The Better Stephen King Crossing Paths With The More Brilliant Shirley Jackson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             One thing Stewart O'Nan cannot be accused of, girls, is being a literary lightweight.  Having read "The Circus Fire," "Songs For The Missing," and now "The Night Country," I can attest he is not afraid to venture into darker realms.  Where this book stands out is a touch of the supernatural is added, so that the book becomes, in addition to a ghost story, a meditation on Life, Death, Survival, and which, if any, are better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                On Halloween, the year before, in a small, New England-ish town called Avon, a group of teenagers, speeding, crashed into a tree.  Four of those kids were killed--one (Tim) survived unharmed, while another, Kyle, suffered irreparable mental and physical damage.

                                    Both Tim and Brooks, the police officer first on the scene, are consumed by guilt. And so, on the First Anniversary of the Tragic Event--the following Halloween--forces convene. The spirits of Danielle, Marco, and Toe appear to watch over the town and its inhabitants on that day.  Will Tim's survivor guilt drive him to kill both he and Tim, the way he feels they should have died, last year? And how are the parents of both the deceased and the remaining effected?  The book gets a little "Final Destination-ish," at this  point.  What will Brooks do to ease the guilt he feels at having been unable to save everyone?  And what, if anything, can the Spirits of the Departed do, and what is it like, hypothetically, to be one?

                                      O'Nan touches on all these issues, as he weaves a spell of almost philosophical mysticism over a narrative, that, in lesser hands, would simply have the urban legendry of a Sixties teenage death song.  That he goes well beyond this makes "The Night Country" unsettling, and not so easy to shake, once the last page is turned.

                                          For O'Nan and macabre devotees, it is not to be missed!

                                          You'll be sure to watch your speedometer, next time you drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Learned Yesterday Why It Is Not Always A Good Thing To Stay Home, When Sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    What an Easter weekend of affliction.  It must have been the Catholic in me, wanting to suffer!
On Good Friday, the day I went to see "Gojira," at the Film Forum, I woke with a headache I was not sure was sinus or migraine.  I am convinced it was sinus, because I made it onto the subway train, with no physical discomfort, and, once I began reading my book, the headache disappeared. As it did, while I watched the artistic masterpiece, "Gojira."

                         But trouble was a  brewing.  I had heard this was supposed to be a bad season for allergy sufferers, and on Saturday, I got a full dose.  I began to itch, broke out in hives, and by the time I was on the train to the city--I had to work that day--my lips had blown up to a size both Barbara Hershey or Angelina Jolie would have envied. Accept they felt swollen--like when you have medicated with Novocaine.  And they itched.  Plus I was so self conscious about my appearance, I wanted to hide in the Valley Of The Lepers, like Martha Scott and Cathy O'Donnell in "Ben-Hur."  So I made it through the day, knocked out on Benadryl, which made me so looped, it was a wonder I could do anything.

                           Then came Easter Sunday.  With such exhaustion, there was no early morning reenactment of Mary Magdalene carrying spices to the tomb, to anoint the Body Of Jesus, as we were headed to the theater that afternoon, there was little time to squeeze in 'Bernadette.'  Disaster struck later that morning. I made my weekly phone call to my father--who, in 8 days, will turn 99, and is healthier than most of my girls and I!!!!!!!!!!   I had just finished talking, put the phone down, when some kind of sinus fluid shifted, dripped--and there went my voice! Forget singing Fantine; I could barely speak.  And, wouldn't you know, that afternoon at the theater, I run into practically everyone I know--even my dentist!!!!-- and I could not speak a word!

                            Meanwhile, Monsieur was having his own allergy/cold issues, in the form of a nasty cough, that, last I heard, had gotten less nasty. But, he is going to take the Delsym I bought for us, (I have a feeling I will be needing it, too, as I have a tickle!!!!!!!!!!!) even if I have to pull him back by what hair he has, and pour the contents down his throat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So "Sweeney Todd," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              With no such remedy yesterday,  we both stayed home, where I discovered too much ID can be too much. So, at one point, we switched to--are you ready??????--"The Lawrence Welk Show," which I recall on Saturday nights during the Sixties, and which my paternal and maternal grandmothers just LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    There was so much ever loving goodness during the Easter show, with wholesome smiles, and white, capped teeth, it is a wonder I did not vomit or go into a diabetic coma.  To think  the show we watched was from 1979!!!!!!!!!!!  I did not know Welk was still doing his show, by then!  And he lived to the ripe old age of 89, dying in 1992.

                                        No wonder I tossed and turned all night. I am almost glad to be back at work. So, be careful what you wish for, darlings!  Daytime TV is a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Not to worry!  We capped the evening off with "Judge Judy," and will have a a relatively normal night, this evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Lord, have Mercy, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Do You Know What I Would Do, If Someone Did That To Me? I Would Kill Him! I Would Not Hesitate! I Would Stab Him 78 Times...With A Butcher Knife! I Would Chop Off His Fingers! I Would Gouge His Eyes Out! I Swear To God!......But That's Me!!!!!!!!!!!"

                    By the time she made "Primal Fear," in 1996 (that was 18 years ago, girls; can you believe it?????) Laura Linney had come a long way from playing Mary Ann Singleton in "Tales Of The City."  Her hard boiled performance as prosecuting attorney Janet Venable was one of many performance highlights, which also included Edward Norton, in his Oscar nominated debut as Aaron Stampler, Frances McDormand, as Molly, the psychiatrist, (whose interview scene with Norton is one of the high points of the film) not to mention some nice bits from John Mahoney, Andre Braugher, Maura Tierney, and, in the role of Archbishop Rushman, who triggers all the action, character actor Stanley Anderson, who had made a name for himself, by then, in a series of TV ads for Shop Rite stores, as the Shop Rite Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    With all this talent, it was amazing Richard Gere could hold his own, with this ensemble!!!!!!!!!!!  But he does.  The final scene between him and Norton is brilliant, but the one between Norton and Linney, not only for how superbly it is done, but for the experience it engendered in me, will remain, for me, the most memorable aspect of the film. Let's see if I can find it for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Here it is!  Now, let's talk about it!

                         When I first saw this, back in 1996, I was recovering from a herniated disc.  I had had some physical therapy, so I had reached a point where I could sit at movies, in the very back--usually those dual seats for the handicapped--in case, of pain, I had to suddenly stand up, due to pain.

                             That did not happen, during "Primal Fear," but something else did.  The only time in my life I can honestly say I mentally dissociated.  What was going on, with me, then, I wonder?

                               The first time out, of course, and, having never read the novel, I had no idea what was coming.  But something, at that moment, channeled Norton's character into myself, because, when he looked up at Laura Linney, saying, "Where do you think you are going?," then rising from his seat to attack her, yelling "Fuck you, lady!," I automatically stood up in my aisle, and yelled right at the screen--"Get her! Get her! Bitch! Cunt!"  To this day, I have no idea why I was not  attacked by audience members or booted out of the theater, except, as I recall, the minute Norton began to lift in his seat, the audience sensed what was about to happen, and began screaming at the top of their lungs.  By the time I joined the fray, one could barely hear the dialogue on screen, in the theater.

                                  Since then, I have seen "Primal Fear" many times, and it has never elicited that response in me.  My friend Tom,  (who may not remember) the cherub, was with me in 1996, when this happened, and for a long time he did not forget it.  I believe he was genuinely shocked.

                                     Guess we all have our dark sides, darlings!!!!!!!!!  But make sure yours is Devil's Food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These 'Bullets' Are Blanks, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       The dancing hot dogs are adorable--and ingenious.  Marin Mazzie belts out songs suggesting that, in just a few years she will be ready to take on something like "Mame."  And Karen Ziemba, in Act Two, delivers a rendition of "A New Day Coming" that recalls Ethel Merman's debut in "Girl Crazy." back in the 1930's.  These, plus the first act finale, with throngs of dancing chorines, costumed like leggy porters, in a number that recalls "On The Atchison, Topeka, And The Santa Fe," from "The Harvey Girls," and "On The Twentieth Century," are the highlights of "Bullets Over Broadway."  But it is not a hit, because too much of it is predictable, been seen before, and, basically, is lacking in "pizazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                      With its theater setting, I suppose the idea of trying to musicalize this Woody Allen film was inevitable.  The idea of using period songs is inspired, but the way the songs are placed, and who they are given to, does not always work.  I mean, ending the show on,"Yes, We Have No Bananas?"  Couldn't they come up with something better??????????  When the curtain fell, I said, "That is the ending?"

                         Nick Cordero, as Cheech, the very literate Mob Member, is one of the best performances of the evening.  I was looking forward to seeing Zach Braff (who, I believe, had a hand in writing this) onstage, but whatever luster he brought to his film and TV appearances was lacking. He is cute enough, yes, but he does nothing with it.  And poor Betsy Wolfe. After being a superb Rosa Bud in the recent "Mystery Of Edwin Drood," (with Jessie Mueller as Helena Landless!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to be handed the thankless role of Ellen Shayne, Braff's wife!  Sure, she sings great, but who cares?  She has no character to play!

                           I remember the movie being funnier and tighter.  And, let's face it, darlings, Susan Stroman is not the Savior of Musical Theater.  She is not Michael Bennett, Jerome Robbins, or Bob Fosse.  Not even Tommy Tune.  Her work here is predictable, almost hack-like; when the dancers dance like a miniature glockenspiel in their ensemble number, it is visually arresting for about a minute, then you realize there is no spontaneity or innovation behind it. Hey, Julie Taymor, you better make room for Susan on the Island Of Lost Directors, because, I think, if Susan keeps dishing this kitsch out, she will end up there.  I never thought I would be saying this, but, having recently seen the revival of "Pippin," I would venture that Diane Paulus MIGHT have a future--a future Susan was once thought to have, but, honey, her boat has sailed.

                          "Bullets Over Broadway" is entertaining, colorful, impressively produced.  It is just not exciting. Maybe if I were a 10-year-old seeing my first Broadway show, I would be impressed, but, girls, as we know on here, that ship has sailed too, and I am not one to be had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             'Bullets' shoots nothing but blanks, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Frog Music"......Ribbit, Ribbit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       "Frog Music," Emma Donoghue's latest novel, was not at all what I had hoped for, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  After "Room" being so compelling, and her earlier "Slammerkin" so haunting, I expected "Frog Music" to sweep me off my feet!  With its 19th Century San Francisco setting, prostitution, and the whole basis for it being a real life unsolved murder, there was much for me to anticipate.  I was hardly expecting the Novel Of The Year, but maybe the Novel Of The Season.  Alas, alas.

                                          Because she insists on writing in a non-linear style, going back and forth in time, randomly, it takes awhile for the reader to establish the situation Donoghue is trying to set up.  This is one reason why "Frog Music" did not grab me, until the last third of the book, when I had everything in place, and could get a handle on where it all was going.  But it should not take that long to get there, and the novel is not that long, at well under 500 pages.

                                             Consequently, I was kept at a distance--from story and characters.  There are any number of gorgeous passages and historical detail that demonstrates Donoghue has not lost her skill as a writer; what she seems to have lost here is a way of structuring her work that would draw the reader in quicker--as need be.  As a follower of Donoghue's work, I could afford to be patient and understanding--that, and the fact that there is hardly a book I do NOT finish---but others out there may not be as patient as I.

                                                 "Frog Music" is strictly for Donoghue devotees, who will even come away slightly disappointed. Her next work had better catch fire, otherwise she might find herself in the position of being a written who has been written out, or written off--by readers refusing to read any more of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Easter, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

               I guess our Easter is going to turn out to be a very non-traditional one, darlings!  "The Ten Commandments" was on last night, and, while we planned to watch "The Song Of Bernadette," we could not pass up Channel 13's rather bizarre airing of "The Bad Seed," which stood the test of time--a long time since I saw it--and then some!  Love that 50's decor!

                 Today, we are headed into the city, and a matinee of "Bullets Over Broadway," the musical of the Woody Allen film.  It should be fun, leaving us time to squeeze in 'Bernadette' tonight!  Will we see Cujo and the Girls???? Hope so, so we can wish them a Happy Easter!

                   And let's hope my allergies improve, because this season has been something!  So, have a blessed Easter, darlings, and remember, as Sister Camille said this morning, to look for God in what is around you!

                    Alleluia, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still The Biggest, And Greatest, Star Of Them All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            A celebrity strewn audience--including yours truly, the Raving Queen, actor  and teacher Austin Pendelton, Cujo, Pete The Pigeon, and those two lovable Pekingese, Victoria and Stinky--were on hand for the packed house premiere at the Film Forum, celebrating the now 60th Anniversary of the Ishiro Honda artistic masterpiece, "Gojira."

                              When the star made his celebrated, operatic entrance, from atop the hill, the audience erupted into applause.  There were however, a few nuts in the house--someone grumbling about Mothra, which caused me to hear Gojira, who was sitting in the back, with sunglasses, growl a little.  He also got disturbed when some anti-Japanese zealot applauded every time buildings smashed down on the Japanese people.

                                 There were even children in the audience, seeing this for the first time, and I think they were frightened. Fortunately, Gojira was on hand, afterwards, making a personal appearance in the lobby, comforting the frightened, the saddened, (like me, who cries every time Dr. Serizawa sacrifices himself, and then when Gojira rises above the water to give his final, aria-like, roar!!!!!!!!!!) to remind us it was just a movie, and he was going for the artistic gold.  Which he has earned, because time has not dimmed the power of his film.  From the storm on Odo Island, when he first comes on land, to the Tokyo night life he seeks out, to the female reporters arguing with the politicians, to the Wagnerian underwater finale, every minute of this film is pure artistic pleasure!

                                  We love you, Gojira!  And we love Baby Gojira!  There were none being sold at this engagement, so we have a real treasure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    We will have a tenth birthday party for him, later this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What A Dilemma We Have, This Evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Can you believe it, girls???????  Some programmer, over at WNET, 13, in New York, has some sick sense of humor!  Tonight happens to be Holy Saturday night, when most people watch something like "Ben-Hur," or "The Robe," "The Ten Commandments," "The Song Of Bernadette," or even "Easter Parade."   But what is 13 showing tonight--that 50's camp classic, "The Bad Seed!"

                            You know I love it, girls!  After all, I have played Rhoda!  But, really for Holy Saturday night.  There is not even a reference of any sort to this holiday in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              The only thing Rhoda cares about, regarding holidays, is the presents she receives on them!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                What can I do?  There is only one answer, girls--"The Song Of Bernadette" must win out?????????   How else could I live with myself?  I have enough non-saintly points stacked against me, as it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And it's not like I have never seen "The Bad Seed" before!  I own it on DVD!

                                   So, tonight, it is 'Bernadette.'  Capped off, perhaps, by an Edwards Creme Pie?????????????

Happy Holy Saturday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              One thing you have to say in favor of Holy Saturday, darlings--it is the one day during all this ordeal that Jesus got any rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Today, we remember the most Solemn Saturday of the year, a time for meditation and reflection,  A time to rest before the Resurrection, which happens at dawn tomorrow, and who knows, I may attempt to reenact.

                                 The best I can wish you all, girls, is a peaceful and restful Holy Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Alleluia, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That Bonnie Gilcrest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        I just can't stop writing about "Girl, Interrupted," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  Layer upon layer, there is always something to say about this film, and today the focus is on that nasty thing, Bonnie Gilcrest, on the right, daughter of bitch Barbara Gilcrest, played by Mary Kay Place, on the left, in the famous ice cream parlor scene.

                      You can see from this photo what a pair of sour bitches these are.  And that Bonnie--"Oh, I'm going to Wellesley.  I'm doing well. Strong in art. And I'm going to the Sorbonne, next summer!"

                        Yeah, yeah, Bonnie, you bitch!  Boast of what Daddy and Mommy's money bought you!  What you don't know, girls, if you have not seen the entire film, is that Bonnie really wanted to go to Radcliffe, but she was pushed by her bitch mother to go to Wellesley, which was her alma mater!  Bet Babs got in the way she got her husband--doling out those rim jobs she so nastily accuses poor Susanna (Winona Ryder) of giving, unable to accept the fact that her husband is a total sleaze, and unable to leave him because she doesn't want to lose the life style she acquired by simply lying on her back!

                          You have to feel sorry for Bonnie!  To come from this background!  She should take a look at her mother, because that is exactly how she is going to end up--an embittered bitch, for all the good Wellesley might do!

                              Let's face it, girls, any of us having gone through school have known variations on Bonnie and her Mom.  Like that Randi Kleiner, from "Stage Door,"(the documentary film about the theater camp) whose mother practically shoved her into Cornell, because it  was  all about what "my Randi"--her daughter--could do to make Mrs. Kleiner look good!  Wonder what loony bin Randi is in?  She had to have reached the breaking point with her mother, by now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Guess times don't change!  I was so glad when Brittany Murphy, as Daisy Randone (it was her last day in the hospital, so they went to celebrate at the ice cream parlor!!!!!!!!!) shoved the cone out of Bonnie's hand, yelling, "Get that  thing out of my face--asshole!"

                                 Too bad she didn't smash it into  her face!

                                  But Bonnie will get hers, not to worry, darlings!  People like she always do!  And you can even tell that from the photo, which is so revealing!

                                   Which is why we love Angelina as Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He Arrives At The Film Forum, On Good Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         The ad should say, "Gojira," but what can you do about these stupid Americans?????

                          I plan to be there for the premiere showing of the 60th Anniversary of the film, just as I was ten years (already???) ago, for the 50th!  How time and Life have changed--for the better!  I would love to bring little Baby Gojira, whom I bought there ten years ago, but this treasure is not about to get kidnapped by kaiju mavens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, I understand Gojira, Cujo, Pete The Pigeon, and, possibly (schedule permitting!!!!) Sister Camille D'Arienzo, will be on hand, making personal appearances, and helping Gojira as he kisses the children, lets them slide down his back, and sign autographs!!!!!!!!!!!

                         It is an event not to be missed!  In fact, I have to get ready for it right now!

                         See you all, at the Film Forum, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Coming Up, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I am, of course, talking about the annual screening of "The Song Of Bernadette, which has been a tradition in this house for over 30 years!!!!!!!!!!!  This outtake photo from the film is such a beautiful shot I decided to use it!

                              Tradition dictates that we start airing on Easter Sunday, at 1PM.  But, because we have tickets, which we got unexpectedly, to a Sunday matinee of the musical, "Bullets Over Broadway," the only time to screen 'Bernadette' will be tomorrow evening; I imagine around 8PM.  So, think of me  at that hour, darlings, with a box of tissues in one hand, a rosary in the other, as I suffer and empathize with Bernadette, while admiring the stunning (and Oscar winning) Arthur Miller (not the playwright!!!!!!!!) cinematography, and Jennifer Jones, in her stunning Academy Award winning performance, in the lead role.

                              It never fails to move me, which is why it is my Easter movie! What ever does it for you, darlings, enjoy!

                              Even if it's that Warner Bros, cartoon, where Bugs Bunny sings, "Here's the Easter Rabbit, hooray!  Happy Easter Rabbit, hooray!!!!!!!!!!!"
                           

Happy Good Friday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Well, we have finally arrives at the Big One--Good Friday!  Today, in addition to making a visit, I am dashing off to the Film Forum to see the original artistic masterpiece, "Gojira," by Ishiro Honda, starring everyone's favorite, lovable reptile!  I knew I will cry real tears at the Wagnerian underwater operatic finale, and Dr. Serizawa will still do it for me!

                                I may then pay a visit to Three Lives, which is a shrine of a different kind.  And I will do a church visit, I promise!

                                Fast and abstain, girls!

                                To think "Gojira" turns 60!  Just like I will seven months from today!!!!  Can you believe it????????????

                                 However you remember this day, and what Jesus did for us, make sure it is good for you, and be good to yourselves, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Alleluia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Tragedy Of Brittany Murphy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     During "Girl Interrupted," when Angelina was not blowing everyone else off screen, Brittany Murphy was.

                       I remember seeing Brittany on stage during the 198 revival, at Roundabout, of Arthur Miller's "A View From The Bridge."  She played Catherine, the niece, and I could see she was someone to reckon with.  I thought the same thing when I saw here play another mental patient, Elisabeth Burrows, with Michael Douglas, in the 2001 thriller, "Don't Say A Word."  This was an actress who had a big future ahead of her.

                        The tragedy was, like the character of Daisy Randone, in "Girl, Interrupted," Brittany's life was cut short.  She died, at the age of 32, on December 20, 2009, and it is still not clear, at least to me, if her death was natural or suicide.

                            Daisy is the film's most tragic character. She is needy, dependent, possessive overweight, obsessive when it comes to food and her bodily functions, anally retaining herself for days, seeks on some level to be a child forever, but with a terrible price--since then, she has been sexually abused by her father, (presumably having raised her as a single parent) who gives her everything she wants. And, to a certain degree, as Lisa says when she confronts Daisy, she likes it.

                             The consequences of that confrontation, (which I will try and get on here)

 are chilling and consequential.  After seeing this, I certainly never will be able to hear Skeeter Davis' 1962 song, "End Of The World" in quite the same way. And neither will you.

                 Take a look at Brittany in these scenes. And see what a real talent was lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Angelina Won That Oscar, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              It wasn't just that she was playing a mental patient.  It wasn't just that she is Jon Voight's daughter.  In "Girl, Interrupted," Angelina Jolie, as Lisa Rowe, blows everyone else off the screen.

                              You have all heard on here how I identify with Lisa, though I am not in a mental institution. Let us hope that is one life experience I am spared. And thanks to my lovely Monsieur, it looks like it.

                                  But Lisa is the most symbolic character in the film, and the counterpart to Susanna , in relation to the time the story takes place, which is 1967, when things are about to change.  Susanna represents what needs to change, while Lisa represents how that change will impact society after its full force has been felt. Which Lisa gives her fellow inmates a chance to experience and feel.

                                   The sadness of Lisa is that for every brave thing she does, there is fear behind it. Fear that she will become like everyone else, like Susanna, which is why she keeps pushing the envelope.

                                      When Lisa is hauled off early in the film (which I hope to show you, as it will give an excellent demonstration of why Angelina earned her trophy!!!!!!!!!) it is as much about defiance and fear.

                                         Lisa is all about trying to control the fear, while harnessing that defiance, so it can be used in constructive ways.

                                           So, watch this, and see why Angelina won.

                                           And, I swear, if anyone tries to mess with me, they will get their ass kicked!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Go, Angelina!  Go, Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Just Call Me, "Gay, Interrupted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Well, girls, I finally saw it, "Girl, Interrupted," that lovely 199 film starring Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Clea DuVall (as Georgina), Brittany Murphy, in her unforgettable performance as Daisy Randone, Whoopi Goldberg, as Val,  Mary Kay Place, as the bitch, Mrs. Barbara  Gilcrest, and KaDee Strickland, as daughter Bonnie Gilcrest, a young Jared Leto as sort of boyfriend Tyler, Jeffrey Tambor, as Dr. Potts, Vanessa Redgrave (before she became everybody's favorite hag!!!!!!!!!!) as Dr.Wick, and Bruce Altman as sleaze Professor Gilcrest.  I mean, who knew this film had such a huge and distinguished cast??????????

                              The other thing to note is that, while it was made in the Nineties, it takes place three decades earlier, in the Sixties, when things were just about to turn. But not enough for Sussana Kaysen and her friends, who were still living under the era when the prescribed program for women went like this--
wife, elementary school teacher, nurse, secretary, librarian (still a stereotype today), and, if you went to college, it did not matter what you majored  in, really, so long as you got your MRS degree. As far back as the fall of 1973, during my freshman year at Seton Hall University, I can recall this one girl I met in my Math For Liberal Arts Students class--Judy Rothrock, pretty, petite, doe eyed, a real finishing school type--whom you could tell just by looking at that she was there for one reason only--to land a husband.  I understand the more astute straight guys on campus avoided her. I wonder what became not only of her, but of these type of women????????  Did the marriages last??????????  And do these types still abound on campuses today???????

                            I am surprised no one having seen this film has come up to me, and said I am Georgina, (Clea DuVall) not because I am a pathological liar (I am not) but due to my life long obsession with the movie "The Wizard Of Oz," which I share with Georgina.  I see myself more, as Lisa ,(Angelina Jolie) because, the older I get, the less I am willing to suffer fools gladly.  I have come close to being hospitalized myself, so I hope the day never comes, where I am hauled off, like Angelina.  And I have known others who were.

                              So the film resonates.  From this time forth, I will never be able to hear Skeeter Davis' song from 1962, "End Of The World," which was prompted by her father's death, and is used tragically in reference to the character Daisy Randone, whose tragedy here, in a macabre way, mirrors aspects of that of the actress who played her, the enormously talented Brittany Murphy.

                                  I cried real tears at the end of this film.  For films dealing with mental illness issues, I would put this one up there with "Splendor In The Grass."

                                   It is more than a female 'Cuckoo's Nest,' darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Which is why I cannot decide to fly East or West!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Want One Of These So Damn Much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            For the past several weeks, darlings, I have been seeing, advertised on TV, these things called "Edwards' Creme Pies."  They come in all sorts of flavors--banana, coconut custard, or custard, I am sure--but the one they keep emphasizing the most is the chocolate.

                              Imagine this photo magnified. They do that on TV, girls, with the syrup drizzling down the slice. Then, they have this incredibly slender woman biting into a slice, and eating its melting goodness, as if to say, even if you eat the whole thing, you can still be as slender as the woman!!!!!!!!!  Bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I know, in real life, the pie cannot look this good, or succulent.  But I would like to give it a try!!!!!!!!!!  Just where am I supposed to get these?  I have looked at various stores in my neighborhood in Bay Ridge; not a trace! If they advertise them in the NYC area, why the hell don't they sell them here, so those of us who want to, can try them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   What an appetizing Easter gift, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, not to worry, I will not consume this during the annual screening of "The Song Of Bernadette," which is coming up.

                                      I just can't stop obsessing about this pie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Send me some chocolate goodness, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Bitch Is Not Just A Top Contender For This Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Frazier Glenn Miller, the 73-year-old, White Supremacist, ex-KKK leader, and vehement anti-Semite---the one who, just recently, shot down some folks at several Jewish centers in Kansas City,Missouri--is not just looking good for this week.  The year 2014 is not yet at the halfway point, and he could very well run off with Bitch Of The Year, but only time will tell.

                             At present, I have to wonder several things?  How calculated was this to do something like this  not only during Passover, but on Palm Sunday, the start of Holy Week. Cover all your hate  targets, Frank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And what is the matter with this guy; can't he even tell a Jew from a Christian???? Just because someone is on a Jewish residence does not have to mean they are of that faith.

                                   I would love to hear Joan Rivers on this!  He can't even kill whom he is supposed to??????????

                                    Of course, the sad, and disturbing, thing, is that to him it really does not matter whom he kills, so long as he does.  All equality hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Even more disturbing, the mayor of a Missouri town, Dan Clevenger, of Marionville, "kind of agree with him," as well as neighbors of Miller, who consider him "friendly and generous."

                                       Is this America? And what the fuck is wrong with it????????????

                                       Stick these people on an island, and leave them there, to stew in their own racist juices. Then, when there is no one else to hate, they can turn upon themselves, and kill each other off!

                                         But lock this week's bitch up in prison!!!!!!!!  Pronto, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Maundy Thursday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          "Maundy, Maundy/Can't trust that day,".......oops, that is "Monday, Monday" by The Mamas and The Papas. Guess things just come naturally to me, I guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But today is Maundy Thursday, more popularly known as Holy Thursday, the night the whole Jesus drama--the Last Supper, Gethsemane, and everything, took place.  I prefer the phrase Maundy, though, but, as so many of my girls on here will ask, what in the world does it mean?????

                               The word actually meas washing the feet of the poor, which you know Jesus did, and Mary Magdalene herself did for him. So, what does this mean in today's parlance??????

                                  It means today your feet should be fresh and scrubbed. Cut those toenails, before the grow out and in, so you can be ready, by Easter Sunday.  Go get a pedicure and a polish!  Think of how great you will feel afterward!

                                    Tonight also marks the End of Lent. But you still have to fast and abstain from meat, on Good Friday!  So, polish those feet well, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       See you at Elizabeth Arden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Was Such A Cute Idea, Girls, But It Did Not Quite Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          The economy must have been  bad on Odo Island, in the Seventies, darlings, because, when I bought home the film "Godzilla's Revenge," from 1971, what seemed  might have been a charming excursion into fantasy, recalling "The Wizard Of Oz," in a bizarre way, turned out to be incredibly boring for its entire 70 agonizing minute length.

                              The best things in this film were, of course, Godzilla, (whom I always refer to as Gojira!!!!!!!!) his cute, prepubescent male offspring, here called Minilla,  but is known to all of us at home as Baby Gojira, who, as he got slightly older, became more Gojira looking, and, as I can tell you, his voice changed.  And then there was Gamera's colored, punk looking hair style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The little boy cast in the central role was one of the pudgiest kids.  I bet today he is a Sumo wrestler.  In the story, he is being bullied by his classmates, and has 'Oz' like dreams of going to Monster Island, where he meets Gojira and his son.  It seems the son is having the same problems as the boy; all the monsters pick on him, and Gojira wants his Baby to fight his own battles and stand up for himself, which is the lesson that the little boy ultimately learns from Baby Gojira and Gojira.

                                 This film was directed by Ishiro Honda, who directed the original, 1954 artistic masterpiece, "Gojira," and, seventeen years later, all I can say is he must have been facing a mortgage foreclosure to do this film.  Gojira won't even talk about it today, and Baby Gojira, who comforted me while I watched it, turned away, in embarrassment. I cannot say I blame him.

                                   If you like the franchise, you cannot afford to ignore it.  If you respect Gojira as an artistic artiste, you had best steer clear of this lesser effort.

                                   After all, you would not want him staring at you through your window, giving you a gigantic wink, now, would you???????????  He has been known to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Spy Wednesday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     This picture is called "The Kiss Of Spy Wednesday," but, as a confused Catholic, I am not sure if this took place today, or tomorrow.  I want to say the latter.

                       Some things I am not confused about.  Like, when it comes to Easter, that means Mary Magdalene carrying spices to the tomb in the morning, to anoint the body of Jesus, and, in the afternoon, Jennifer Jones, in "The Song Of Bernadette."  Those are givens.

                          When Judas kissed Jesus, that was David McCallum smooching Max Von Sydow, in "The Greatest Story Ever Told" (1965).  But anyone Catholic knows that Judas hanged himself; the film has, if I recall, McCallum throwing himself into a funereal pyre, and the Holy Land is stood in for by Monument Valley in Utah.  No wonder us Catholics get confused.  Stick to Jennifer Jones, is what I say!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But, really, everyone knows today is Spy Wednesday, but, honestly, just what are you supposed to do on it?  Or are you supposed to do anything????????  That has never been explained.

                                You know what I say?  Go home, and rest!  Rest for the next three days coming up. Did you know that Lent actually ends on Holy Thursday?   I never knew that till I hit my Fifties!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Remember, Good Friday is a day of fast and abstinence.  No meat, and no fun.

                                   But have that Easter outfit ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Donna Tartt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Girls, have you heard?  The latest word on the literary scene is that Donna Tartt has won this year's Pulitzer Prize For Fiction, for her 700 plus page opus, "The Goldfinch."  This will certainly bring new readers to Miss Tartt's work, though I have something to say about all this.

                             I bought "The Goldfinch" on the day of publication.   I tore through it. I enjoyed it.  But it did not come near to being "The Secret History," which is when, as a Donna Tartt fan, I have to come face to face with the acceptance that she will never write its like again.

                               That does not mean I will stop reading Donna Tartt.  As long as she publishes, I am there.  I do feel, however, that the prize is as much for the endurance of her work, "The Secret History," as a literary classic, as for the novel at hand.

                                   When her first novel appeared, and Donna was Flavor Of The Moment, I am not sure that novel was nominated for the Pulitzer.  Now, here is a chance to honor Donna on all counts.

                                       And she is certainly deserving of it all. Who knows; I may just reread "The Goldfinch" again.

                                       Mama Tay raised daughter Donna just fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye, Bye, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See You Next Season?????????????????????

                          You gotta hand it to Paula Zahn, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  For her seasonal wrap up, we did stay awake. She wore a shiny blue dress that looked like it was making its TV debut, and she was actually a teenysy weensy more animated--though some of her speeches were still delivered in what I still call that Diane Dykeman schoolgirl earnestnesss.

                              The story she covered was a compelling one.  Tom and Irene Kennedy.  Theirs was a loving marriage, and I think they came to each other after each had ended one.   Irene was 75, when she was killed by Martin Guy, a 44-year-old sicko, on December1, 1998 in Bird Park, near their home at Walpole. Massachusetts, where the Kennedys would do a morning walk.

                                  Irene was a little more in shape than her hubby, so at one point, they would deviate, and he would do a shorter wallk, and she a longer.  She always met him at the car within 15 minutes of his return, but, on that day, when more than 20 minutes went by, he knew something was wrong.  Sure enough--somewhere along her route, Irene was randomly ambushed, murdered, and sexually assaulted. She had also been stabbed 32 times, and strangled. Clearly, a case of overkill.

                                      Guy was a compulsive killer, rapist and sicko.  He was serving a life term for another killing, when he was convicted of Irene Kennedy.  And what's tragic, he had been targeting another woman who walked through the park, and had intended to kill her. But, when she did not show that day, and Irene did, compulsion and opportunity took over. Irene Kennedy was truly the ultimate unfortunate in being in the wrong place, at the wrong time!

                                        Which make Guy's action all the more heinous!  But this was certainly a compelling story, which managed to override Paula's dour delivery.

                                            Hey, I have a great idea for Guy's punishment. During his days, force him to stay awake watching episode after episode of Paula's shows.  That should drive him insane!

                                              Meanwhile, what of Paula?  Will she return to ID?  Or will end up, as some have predicted, on the Home Shopping Network??????????????????

                                                We'll find out next season, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!