Once Again, "Sventoonie" Upstages "Svengoolie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                         Last Saturday's broadcast of 1970's "Count Yorga, Vampire," was really not appropriate for the Saturday before Halloween, when a real gem, not this crap, should have been shown.

                           From the start, this film has problems. Like the title.  It is referred to as "Count Yorga, Vampire," whereas the credits bill it as "The Loves Of Count Iorga."  This is just like branding Mario Bava's 1960 masterpiece, "Black Sunday" as "The Mask Of Satan."  Isn't the first title better?

                          For those who care, this film did have its fair number of bosoms, so much so that it should have borrowed the title of John Guare's 1979 play, "Bosoms And Neglect."  Even the ending was stupid, because what about the redheaded vampire still running around somewhere.  And the way Robert Quarry played the title role, it was clear he was channeling Christopher Lee, whom the filmmakers probably wanted to get.  Either they could not afford Lee, or the actor read the script, and knew when to avoid a piece of crap.  But the femmes made it femme fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         "Sventoonie" and company, like Trevor, Blob E. Blob, even Diane, made for better entertainment with what turned out to be a surprise hour special.  Sventoonie is gaining in popularity, girls, and I wouldn't be surprised if Svengoolie retires, Sventoonie will take over for him.

                                           The concept was to inject a little Halloween horror into Christmas--I mean, everyone is galloping to the holiday season, so why not?--by showing the rather tame, but campy 1964 "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians."  Can you spot Pia Zadora?  This was supposedly made out on Long Island in a large airplane hangar, with many New York actors working on Broadway in Manhattan.  The little boy playing Billy was in "Oliver!" at the time, so all these actors had to finish by a certain time, and cab back to the city to make their 8PM curtains.  It must not have been an easy shoot, but the results are hilarious--kidnappings, bizarre decor and color, outrageous costumes, all ably deconstructed by Sventoonie.  To hell with 'Count Yorga' THIS was the real entertainment.

                                            Svengoolie better get his act together, before he is replaced.  I will notify you of the next presentation by Saturday.

                                               Hope your Halloween was ghostly and ghoulish.