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Of course I am being facetious, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somewhere between her Oscar winning turn as Diana Christensen in "Network," in 1976, and her camp turn as Joan Crawford in 1981's "Mommie Dearest," Faye lost her way, turning into a camp composite of these characters. And now, after her recent stunt, she solidly qualifies as this week's winner of The Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.
The world of Jacqueline Susann is alive and well with stories like this.
Here is how it goes.
About fifteen years ago, Off-Broadway, Kate Mulgrew performed Matthew Lombardo's vanity production, playing a very convincing Katherine Hepburn. It went no further than that. Which is fine. Because neither did Lombardo who is, obviously some over aged Italian Mama's Boy in New Jersey, writing vanity pieces because he knows his mother will endorse each and every one, Nice, huh?????????????????
Someone not very bright got the idea to revive this clunker, and cast Faye Dunaway in it. Now, logically that makes sense, but the truth is, Faye needed the work. The last thing I saw her in, darlings, was the 2017 trash horror film, "The Bye Bye Man," in which her highlight is burning up on camera, like Miss Havisham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, a girl has to work.
"Tea At Five" was all set for Broadway. It was previewing at the Huntington Theatre in Boston from June 24 through July 10, and, on the latter date, all hell broke.
It was something of a culmination. Dunaway would show up late for rehearsals, would not allow either the playwright or director to look at her, during them, and was horrid to the crew. She also hates anything white, and once reprimanded a car company for sending a white limousine, stalling for time, while she waited for a black one to drive her.
July 10 was the last straw. Crew members, while trying to fit a wig on Faye, were physically abused, and slapped. Equity was complained to, with the staff asking if someone of Dunaway's unhinged status is fit for the stage. Staff members feared a hostile work environment, and felt concerned for their safety.
So, Faye is a bitch! And the winner of this week's award.
But I have a word for Faye. Because she has never dealt with me!
Faye, Dear,
I am the lovable kid from vaudeville who became a star, and a
monster. That is right, I am Neely O'Hara, and I act like her.
I don't have to live by the stinking rules set down for ordinary
people, because I am NOT ordinary.
If you dared to slap me, Faye, I would have slapped you
right back! Someone on that show should have given you
the good belt in the mouth you deserved, and then fired you.
You whore! Doing the bedroom scene in "Network" so
over the top, William Holden claimed to have lost his
professional virginity.
You better run, you 78-year-old dried out old cunt!
You will never work again!
That, dears, is how you deal with the likes of Faye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have had plenty of practice, dolls!
Yes, it's a rotten story!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 comments:
OMG, I was *so* hoping you'd seen the front page stories this morning, and would name Faye your BOTW!
WTF is wrong with that woman? In the annals of Hollywood, I really can't think of another star that was this over the top self destructive and rude. Yes, some lost their way thru booze or drugs, but their flameout was tragic and not entirely of their own making. They also didn't intentionally abuse or hurt people along the way. I mean, Judy Garland was an utter drain on everyone she knew toward the end, neediness personified, to the point people unplugged their phones or staged illness to avoid her- but even she in her drug-addled fog wasn't a hellspawn bitch out to claw everyone's throat.
Faye has been transparently, obnoxiously EVIL for the past 20 years or more. Nasty, rude and abusive to everyone she works with (or who works directly for her). Sociopathic, unreasnable, unjustified diva demands. Seriously, Faye, get a friggin clue: NO ONE has given a rats ass about you as either star or actress since 1981. You simultaneously cemented your legacy and buried your career with "Mommie Dearest" - after that you regressed to the status Jessica Lange had after King Kong, and never recovered. You have a name aging irrelevant audiences still recognize- and thats IT.
So stop acting like that belligerent cow Mariah Carey or smugly entitled Beyonce: they get away with obnoxious because they still sell product, honey. You, OTOH, would be lucky to have a show run more than four weeks on Broadway. The last respectable role you had was in the dreadful "Twilight Of The Golds" in 1996 (and even in that, you couldn't let go of your inappropriate Mommie Dearest bad acting tics). You made an excellent course correction with "Barfly" and "The Handmaids Tale" in the late '80s, but then it all fell apart.
Get it together soon, lady: maybe ingratiate yourself with a remake of "Whales Of August" with Betty White. Screw around much longer, and you'll go out like Bette Davis in "The Wicked Stepmother" (three minute cameo, then you're replaced for the remainder of the movie by a far younger B actress who is also never heard from again).
This was too good to resist.
I know Faye has been difficult, but
this is way over the top. Well, her
career is vanishing fast, so only
those of us of a certain age will
even remember who she was, and that
one time she was a good actress!
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