It Is Time To Put Michael Myers To Rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I don't know why this film was re-titled "Halloween," because it should not be confused, nor should it, with the original 1978, John Carpenter masterpiece.  At the very least, it should have been called "Halloween-2018!"  Or even "Halloween--40 Years Later!"

                                   My personal choice, though, would have been "Granny Get Your Gun!"

                                   Not since Ethel Merman on stage, or Betty Hutton, on film, has there been one pistol packin' Mama, like Jamie Lee Curtis, as Laurie Strode.  Now a grandmother, her adult daughter is played by Judy Greer, so good as Miss Desjardin, in the recent "Carrie" movie, and a surprisingly ancient looking  Will Patton, as the sheriff.  There is even a cameo vocal, by original cast member P.J. Soles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     But don't mistake this film for art!  It is a hoot!

                                     The thing I wanted to learn from this film is--how did Laurie Strode, who was born Laurie Myers, come to be taken in by the Strodes???????  Parental abandonment?  Protection--thinking that hiding her with another family would keep her from Michael?

                                       Only I would question this.  What everyone else, I am sure, wants to know, is whether or not Michael Myers is really dead!

                                        My answer is--probably not!  And that is judging not only by the film's grosses, but how my neighborhood theater jettisoned the screening of "A Star Is Born" I wanted to see, for this hoot of a film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The best moments are Jamie and Michael going at each other.  I am glad, in the beginning, (a wonderfully staged scene, on a checkerboard floor, reminiscent of a macabre Lewis Carroll!) there is a glimpse of Michael Myers real face, showing, like Laurie, that he has aged!  Because, before I saw this, the trailer led me to ask--how come Laurie has aged, but not Michael?  Which would explain his "bogeyman" status, though they keep calling him a human in the film.  Personally, I think the doctor who wanted to study Michael, Dr. Sartain (Haluk Bilginer) is more deranged than Michael.  Doc is wacko; Michael just wants to do his thing!

                                        It is why Michael wants to do his thing that makes him dangerous.  He is a sexual psychopath.  He is neither straight, gay, nor bi!  He has a pathological hatred of sex, which started, as far this post is concerned, back on Halloween, 1978, when these impulses first kicked in, and he killed his tramp of a sister, Judith!  Sex disgusts him; in a sense, he is puritanical run rampant!!!!!!!!!!  An equal opportunity moralizer, who just happens to murder!  And that he murders the most hormonally charged among us--youth--proves my point.  Oh, he murders others who get in his way; no denying. But his main reason for killing is out of a pathological hatred of sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         With Laurie living in isolation, a replicated dollhouse in the place, it s clear the writing staff was also watching "Sharp Objects," and wanted to give a nod to it.  The conflagration at the end, which presumably kills Michael Myers, reminded me of the burning windmill at the close of Universal's 1931 "Frankenstein."

                                            It should be recalled--the monster there did not stay dead.  Much as I don't wish it, I don't think the screen has seen the last of Michael.  But I think Jamie is done!

                                            She is the reason to see the whole thing.  To coin a phrase, made famous by Pauline Kael, "Kiss! Kiss!  Bang!  Bang!"

This Is A First, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     With Elizabeth Strout's "Anything Is Possible," I now have done something I haven't, in my entire life.

                                         I read a book that I did not realize I had already read.

                                         Always, when I re-read a book, I have a special craving for it, or a need to revisit it, like I did this summer before viewing "Sharp Objects.'

                                           I never would have re-read "Anything Is Possible."  But I am happy to say, the book does hold up.

                                             Part of the reason lies in Strout's narrative technique, which is to interconnect characters and their stories.  As I hit certain details in this book--a man caught masturbating behind a barn, a sibling visit that turns sour, and results in the traumatized one having to be driven back to the security of the city, where she feels safe, and a sequence, which I cannot interpret as being real or hallucinatory, where a man of means goes backstage after a holiday performance of "A Christmas Carol." to retrieve the stuffed pony his granddaughter left, and converses with the embittered, gay actor, playing Scrooge, prior to the man's passing away--each struck me as familiar.  Had I read all this before?  Or was I just recalling things referenced in Strout' earlier books--"My Name Is Lucy Barton," and "Oliver Kitteridge"--which have a similar narrative flow?

                                                David kept telling me to check my book lists.  I was so mired in the book, fascinated both by the characters, the writing quality, and my own, personal mystery, that I could not be bothered, wanting to see things through, to the end.

                                                   Still, once done, I checked my lists, and--lo, and behold!-- I had read the book, in hardback; I recall taking it out of the library, last year in 2017!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Am I losing it, darlings?  Let's hope not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     But I am telling you--the book holds up!  So it is worth reading, even if you haven't already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Or, like me, if you have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those Faggy Warlocks Finally Got Theirs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I think I have a handle on why I am not enjoying this season of "American Horror Story" as much as I should.  The acting is gold standard, the set pieces fantastic, but all we get are little tangibles, not full out participation from folks I would like to see more of--like Stevie, Misty Day, and Constance Langdon.  Everything is one big tease.

                                  Still, it was great to see a reappearance by Papa Legba, played marvelously by Lance Reddick.  While I love Emma Roberts' bitchiness as Madison, well, it's all she can do, so why is she getting so much overplay this season?  Let's see more of Billie Lourd, who, clad in angel wings, and looking mythological, is clear indication the writing staff has taken note of "Sharp Objects," and was channeling Amma Crellin.

                                    As for Adina Porter, as Dinah,  the voodoo priestess, portrayed by the wonderful Adina Porter, " You go, girl!"  I don't practice voodoo; it was never my calling, darlings, but I do know if I did I would at least charge $100K to summon Papa Legba, if not other sundry favors.

                                     Those faggy warlocks, Ariel (Jon Jon Briones), Baldwin (B.D. Wong), plus Kathy Bates as Miriam Mead get theirs, in a beautiful Felliniesque sequence, just like in "Coven," with Myrtle Snow's death, recalling "Juliet Of The Spirits."  It was smart of Cordelia to bring Myrtle back, because Frances' line delivery livens things up.

                                       I also want more of Evan Peters, naked or not.  I also think, with John Henry (Cheyenne Jackson) being brought back, there is going to be a tug of war between he and Mallory over who is the next Supreme.  It sure as hell will NOT be Diana Ross!  That bitch, hons, is through!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I LOVED the return of Jamie Brewer an Nan!  What a sweet bitch she has turned into!!!!!!!  I guess Hell taught her a lot!

                                           All these vignettes are great, in and of themselves. But with the season to end within the next month, I still have no idea where it is going.  Still, it is wonderfully entertaining, and not the colossal mistake "Roanoke" was.  Even "Cult" was better.

                                             And Joan--Joan Collins!  How about the riff on her own performance with a killer Santa, in "Tales From The Crypt?"  I have got to go and look at that again.  The season is coming for holiday horror very soon, and it is time to think about getting ready for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I am unofficially on Team Witch!  I want to join the Coven.

                                               Myrtle and I could design some brilliant haute couture!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the wonderful Lance Reddick, as Papa Legba!  Papa, don't preach!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, You Have GOT To Hear This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 As a Baby Boomer, dolls, I know more than most, that Bob Dylan wrote, "The Times, They Are A' Changin'."  These days, I feel it would be more like "The Times They Do A' Scare Me."

                                  Well, let me offer up some hope.  And also a testament to enduring artistry.

                                   Barbara Cook has not been with us for over a year, having died, on August 8, 2017.  "The Grass Harp," which had a short run, back in 1971, at the Martin Beck Theatre, was her last "book show" on Broadway.  From photos, then, it appeared she was adding on the weight which would plague her the rest of her days.  And after this show that she seemingly vanished, re-emerging, and reinventing her career, at that now historic Carnegie Hall concert, in 1975, which has been preserved on recorded form.

                                      As has "The Grass Harp."

                                      The other day, I was thinking of a song she sings in the show, called "Chain Of Love."  It should have been one of her signature numbers.  Barbara's voice is gorgeous to be sure, but the song is a moving tribute to positive thinking, and appreciating the beauty around you.  In the song, spinster Dolly Talbo (Cook's character) muses that even if she has never been in love, conventionally, with all the beautiful things surrounding her in this world, then she has always been in love the whole time.

                                        The beauty of this sentiment is matched by Cook's voice.

                                         And the song offers a hopeful message for these troubled times!

                                         Get out the hankies, girls!  Enjoy, and reflect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Highly Artistic Commercial, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               I know I am famous, on here, for voicing annoyance over TV commercials I dislike, though, lately, I have been writing about those that, surprisingly, impress me.

                                One of these is the ad for Hendrick's Gin.  Now, I could care less about gin; I mean, I don't think I have ever consumed it, but the commercial is an artistic gem--a multicolored animated spectacle of surreal images, incorporating, Jules Verne, Georges Melies, and the books of  Brian Selznick.

                                  You just have to see it.  It is SO brilliant!

                                   Kudos to the advertising team that thought this one up!  It restores my faith in a profession I felt, like so many others of a creative nature, was going down the tubes.

Maybe this fellow (ie; the Moon!) could do with a spot of Hendrick's Gin!!!!!!!!!!

This Week Probably Clocks Up The Greatest Amount Of Bitches Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Now, darlings, for all who are gay and/or love tearjerkers, few things top Barbara Stanwyck as "Stella Dallas," back in 1937.  The final scene is happy and heartbreaking, but who can forget, earlier, the scene where Laurel (Anne Shirley) awaits her birthday party guests, and--due to class differences, exhibited by her mother--no one shows up.

                                        Teddy Bollinger, pictured above, is this column's version of Laurel Dallas.  His story does have a happier ending, though.

                                          Teddy invited 32 of his classmates, and their parents--which adds up, approximately to 96 people--to his sixth birthday party, at Peter Piper Pizza restaurant, in Tuscon, Arizona.  Teddy must have been excited and ready, as were his parents, who planned the whole thing.

                                             As can be seen from the picture of Teddy, above, like Laurel, no one showed up for his party!  It may be his party, and he can cry if he wants to, (I mean, "You'd cry, too, if it happened to you?") but why should he have to?

                                              Consequently, we have a record 90 plus winners of The Raving Queen's Bitch Of The Week Award.  Those unidentified (and are now probably too ashamed to admit it; what excuses could they give?) classmates and their parents, who dissed Teddy and his parents on the day of the party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Two sets of families did decline, with excusable explanations. But what about the rest?  With not even an explanation?  What is wrong with these people?  If I were Teddy's parents, I would remove him from the school pronto!  If this had been back in the days of "The Bad Seed," Miss Fern would never have tolerated this. And if Teddy had been a very different kid, well...all of a sudden those classmates would disappear mysteriously.

                                                   But Teddy is a sweet child, and his story has a nice ending.  His birthday, which was October 3, was a washout. But when this hit the media, word got to the Phoenix Suns Basketball Team, and they invited Teddy to celebrate his birthday with them, inviting  he, and I presume, his family, to their game, in town, against the Los Angeles Lakers.

                                                   For Teddy, it was like a dream come true, better than what he could have imagined.  It was nice to see this child get a compensation beyond his dreams that was so deserving.

                                                     Alas, I was a different kind of kid.  For me, Celeste Holm would have had to fly in as the Fairy Godmother, sing "Impossible!," and whisk me off to Manhattan, shop at Lord And Taylor's, then to Serendipity, and a Broadway show!

                                                       But that's me!

                                                        To those no show bitches, I say what kind of people are you?  What is wrong with you?  And what do you think this is teaching your children?

                                                           I would hold them all accountable!

                                                            Teddy, you just hold your head high, and walk past these social morons, like Audrey Hepburn did, at the close of "The Children's Hour."  It would be the classiest "Fuck you!" you could ever give!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is a pivotal shot of Anne Shirley, as Laurel Dallas, getting ready for that ill-fated party.  Thank God Teddy's story had a happier outcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Ensemble Cast Is The REAL Reason For Seeing "What They Had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  Like the song says, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick," but, over time, those gimmicks have changed.

                                   When I was a child, the gimmick was that "elderly" actresses like Bette, Joan and Olivia, played psychotic women.  What fun!  Now, the level of "elderly" has been raised higher, and the gimmick now is Alzheimer's.  Both Julie Christie and Julianne Moore have had their turn.  And now--the reason I went--Blythe Danner!  Which makes me wonder, when will MERYL jump on the band wagon?  A friend of mine posed, when she gets to play Sandra Day O' Connor.  I wouldn't be at all surprised.

                                    "What They Had" is based on Elizabeth Chomko's experience of her grandmother's sixteen year battle with Alzheimer's.  She has assembled the perfect cast, who are so assured in their roles, one wonders how much direction they required.  Even Michael Shannon, who does his usual Michael Shannon thing, (and who does it better?) somehow offers another standout performance.  Hilary Swank has improved with age; a little filling out has suited her, especially about the face.  Taissa Farmiga takes a break from AHS to play the rebellious daughter, though exhibits much compassion for her grandmother's situation, sometimes when others are thinking elsewhere, and I found her performance (Taissa) here very touching.   But the two most heartbreaking performances come from Blythe and Robert Forster, who are husband and wife, but at opposite ends of the line--she is declining into Alzheimer's, while he has to watch.

                                      The work of all, especially the last two, is reason enough to see the film.  Blythe and Forster play their roles with great understatement, and the acting choices she makes are subtle enough to indicate what is being gone through, without making it unbearable by shoving it in the viewer's face.

                                        The film actually takes a hopeful approach, and ends on what, at best is as hopeful a note as can be found, but there is no escaping that this is a tale that has been told before, will be told again, and, so, has much predictability.  If the Fifties Golden Age Of Television Drama were still in vogue today, this would be the kind of material written, and product turned out.

                                          You could say this is what one gets on the Lifetime Channel.  True, but the film is way too good for that venue, and elevated by a superb cast, all of whom, especially Blythe and Robert Forster, merit Oscar nominations.

                                             I was so afraid to see this film, because of the subject, and because of my age.  Were I in my twenties, I would feel nothing to fear; now, in my sixties, it is a very different scenario.

                                             Blythe and company make it worth your while.

                                              And, damn, I still want to know who does her hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!