"Beware Of Greeks Bearing Gifts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                          When I was a child, someone gave me a book called "Myths And Enchantment Tales."  It featured a blue background, with Pegasus, the winged horse, flying up into the sky.  It introduced me to the world of Greek mythology, which, in my younger years, fascinated me.  The illustrations were striking.

                                             "Circe," by Madeline Miller, has no illustrations, but, to this generation of say, junior high and up readers, it is a wonderful way of introducing them to classical mythology.  It even has a glossary in the back, explaining who's who.

                                                 After reading this, I have to read her earlier, "The Song Of Achilles."

                                                  The narrative, which is pretty much Circe herself telling her story, from birth, to disobedience, to exile, to her emergence as a witch, demonstrates that the quote alluded to in my headline, should have been in vogue back then, and may have stemmed from that time.

                                                    Long before Jackie married Aristotle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    And, if you are reading this blog and do not know who Jackie and Aristotle are/were, you are in serious trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Medea pops up in this book.  So does the monster Scylla--my favorite here!!!!!!!--and a woman with a scorpion's tail! Now, that is one bitch to avoid!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       What a bunch of bitches and pranksters those gods and goddesses were!  If you are old enough to remember "The Mighty Hercules" cartoons on TV, this book will blow your mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It gives a reality to mythology that other books, short of the actual texts of Homer and others, do not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         "Circe" is loads of fun, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            And. believe me, she would know how to handle Harvey Weinstein, and his ilk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the childhood book I was talking about.  Wish I could find a copy now!!!!!!!!!!

Do You Know If Jim Backus And Ethel Merman Had Starred In A Broadway Musical, They Would Have Sounded Pretty Much The Same????????

                                                       "Won't you turn me on,
                                                         Like the  neon,
                                                         That you see on,
                                                         Broadwayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                         BROADWAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                         It's great to be back, back, back, back,
                                                         On BROADWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                         --Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol,"
                                                         Music by Jule Styne,
                                                         Lyrics by Bob Merill


                                                       
                                                     
                                                                         

                                                       


                                                 This idea just occurred to me the other day.  Darlings, do you know it is not yet Halloween, and Christmas stuff is starting to appear in stores?   Along Fifth Avenue, in our neighborhood, the Christmas overhangs are out already.  Can't we get through one holiday, at least, before jumping to another?

                                                   Maybe "The Book Of Merman" was still in my head.  Because, when I started singing the opening number of "Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol," I realized how, given the lower vocal range, it sounded very much like Ethel Merman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Imagine if those two had appeared on stage in a Broadway musical. They would have drowned out the lyrics so much you could not distinguish them!  Talk having to listen to Harvey Fierstein for four hours; how about this?

                                                       Actually, Backus and Merman did appear together, but not musically, in the 1963 all-star film, "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!"  They did not sing, but to see what I mean, go back to this film. Ethel good naturedly parodies herself!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          Next time you see one or the other, imagine them together!!!!!!!!!

                                                          And how I want that Baby June outfit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, We Just LOVE Dennis Quaid's Esurance Commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Ever since he appeared on the scene, I was always hot for Dennis Quaid.  How about the movie "The Day After Tomorrow," back in 2004, where he and Jake Gyllenhaal play father and son?  Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Darlings, I am telling you, when Meg Ryan left him, I said, "Oh, Meg, you fool, what do you think you are doing? Can you get anything better?"

                                           I am sure it has not stopped Dennis, who, at my age, looks damn good.  I know I wished I looked as good as Dennis Quaid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Most commercials I discuss on here are annoying.  It is nice to talk about one I just LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Those Quaid Boys might have both gotten talent, but Dennis got the looks, and self discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              We love you, Dennis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Accredo" Was Crud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Last week's 'SVU' episode, "Accredo" was about some cult run by con man Arlo Beck, played by Sebastian Roche. Like so many of these abominable groups out there, they claim to empower women, but really send them back to being Stepford Wives.  Because, as shown here, it is all about meeting the male leader's needs--assistance, emotional, or sexual.

                                       I just loved right hand bitch, Lila Finch, played by Sarah Carter.  She thinks she has come a long way, but she really hasn't.  She's reduced to a gun moll, cleaning up after Beck, even killing would be deserters who come to their senses, like Vicky Parson, played by Lexi Lapp.  Now, there is a stage name, for you!

                                       Vicky had the right idea, but was too naïve to successfully escape.  And this sets the stage for a LOOOOONG monologue by Olivia, where she declares Beck to be "the worst kind of predator."  Excuse me, hon, but you are way off. Beck and his cronies are full blown scum, but the worst of the WORST are those who prey on children!  But Mariska Hargitay just has to get her Emmy shot in per episode, so no one questions the accuracy of what she is really saying.  Writers, get your act together, or get this retired tuna off the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          The show was crud by being hypocritical.  It espoused female empowerment, by showing women who were anything but, while deluded into thinking they are.  Now that Beck is put away, they will have an even worse struggle than before.

                                           If I sound misogynistic, let me say I am really not.  But the luxurious falseness of this episode just stuck in my craw.  The show is still going down the tubes.

                                           Should it keep up like this, it will soon reach the sewers!

                                            Then, bye, bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, This Proves I Need To Read My Thomas Hardy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     There are five core books in the Thomas Hardy canon--"Tess Of The D'Ubervilles," "The Mayor Of Casterbridge," "Jude, The Obscure," "The Return Of The Native," and, lastly, "Far From The Madding Crowd."

                                       Somewhere, in one of my recent readings--I believe it was "We That Are Young," by Preti Taneja--is mentioned a sequence in "Far From The Madding Crowd," where sheep dogs direct their charges to their deaths off a cliff.

                                        This struck me as the height of incredulity.  It could not be.  Years ago, when I was 13, before having even touched a Hardy novel, I rushed to see the film version of "Far From The Madding Crowd," wherein the ravishing, long haired Julie Christie, whom all us burgeoning gay glam boys wished we looked like, played a character with the equally ravishing name of Bathsheba Everdene.  I also wanted to see it for the scenic Nicolas Roeg photography.  Even then, darlings, even then!

                                         So, I poked around, and here is the very sequence from the 1967 film.  I had completely blocked it out, maybe because of my love for animals, or maybe because I was whacked out from the short subject I viewed, prior to the showing of the film--some semi-documentary with the recurring image of a film crew hauling a taxidermed lion on a dolly, with the ersatz song, "King Of The Jungle," recurring on the soundtrack.

                                          No wonder this film went over my head.  Except for Julie Christie, who I wanted to look like, and the farm fire, the film's big set piece.

                                           But the photo shown proves the book I read was right, and I  need to read more Hardy.  I have read 'Tess', "The Mayor Of Casterbridge," and "The Return Of The Native"--my favorite!  I still have to read "Jude, The Obscure," and "Far From The Madding Crowd!"

                                             How much time do I need, darlings!  Even Dracula slept!

Here is the jacket cover from the film's original soundtrack album.  It pretty much replicates the movie poster!  Just look at Julie!  No wonder we all wanted to look like her!

I mean, wouldn't you?????????????

Where The Hell Is It, When We Need It?????????????????????????

                                                        This marks fifty years since 1968, a very good year for films.  And one of those films was "Funny Girl."

                                                          So, why have there not been any retrospective screenings?

                                                          Once upon a time, girls, film classics were revered and trotted out on anniversary occasions.  But, as the culture got techno, and hence more dumbed down, aesthetically, the anniversary screening went, to borrow from Samuel Butler (whom, I am sure, borrowed it from someone else!) "the way of all flesh."

                                                             With what I have written about on here recently, and with Lady Gaga being hailed and booed, depending on whom you talk to, for "A Star Is Born," the time for an engagement of "Funny Girl" could not be more apt.

                                                                 This was the film that brought out the gay in us burgeoning Baby Boomers.  It told us that we, too, could go somewhere, if we wanted it badly enough, no matter how ugly or miserable we thought we were.

                                                                   Come to think of it, adolescence is the perfect time to see this film.  The endings to both halves of the film are iconic and send an inspirational message needed, especially in today's times.

                                                                      And, of course, it will bring back those days, when I, like countless others, wanted to be BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                        So, can this film be trotted out, please?  It deserves remembrance, it is needed badly in this misanthropic age, and we all want to feel as carefree as BARBRA on those roller skates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                           This movie proves, that you, too, can be the "Greatest Star," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             Here are the iconic endings--"Don't Rain On My Parade," and "My Man!"  Take a look, and see what I mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugly Is, As Ugly Does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I have not yet seen "Can You Forgive Me?," in which Melissa McCarthy is being called Oscar bait for her serious, dramatic turn, as author/forger Lee Israel.  I look forward to seeing this film more than the average person, because, during her most active years, circumstances found Lee and I crossing paths, time and again.

                                   I did not "know" her.  I was on her periphery.

                                   This was due in two ways--to my then working at the New York Public Library For The Performing Arts, and forays to Julius' bar, which Lee, I discovered, frequented.

                                    Let's start with Lee.  She was unattractive, inside and out.  I never dealt with her publicly, as she used the Theater Research Collection more than any other space at LPA, (as a retired employee, I feel I can use this acronym freely) and people I knew who did, dreaded it whenever Lee walked in.

                                    Just the maniacal look in her eyes says "Stay the fuck away from me!"  If there was any member of the public during my working years who could have scared me, it was Lee Israel.

                                      Speaking for myself, now, let me say, that, long before she was caught, long before she wrote the memoir that is the basis for the current film, I was on to Lee; I suspected what she was doing.  I am sure I was not the only one who did, so when she made headlines as a criminal, what surprised me was her stealing from other places--Columbia, Yale, Princeton, even the Library Of Congress.  I think she did it there, too.  It was amazing how she got away with this.  As one of the FBI men who arrested her suggested, she was so brilliant at what she did, you could  almost admire her for it.

                                        But not quite.

                                        Desperation drove her to crime, but don't think of Lee as some latter day Fantine.  Lee was not someone who would welcome compassion from anyone, nor did she want it.  She wanted to do what she did, and be left alone.  If she had not been caught, she would have gone on, until her death, in early 2014, ripping off archive after archive.

                                           As stated, I have not seen the film.  But I have some problems with it  already, based on clips I have seen.

                                            This is such a dark and dour tale, the only one next to Lee who could have written it, would have been Joan Didion.  It should have been shot in black and white, giving it a semi-documentary style.

                                               The problem I see with this film is that it is not dark enough.  Lee was one of the sad and lonely in New York, an embittered miscreant with talent, but not enough to get her where she wanted--at least in an honest way. When McCarthy is serious and dour, there is a look in her eyes, and manerism in her posture, where Lee comes through.  But when she is with this character, Jack Hock (whom I don't believe existed) she comes off as her (McCarthy's) comedic self, and the telephone booth scene suggests a redo of "The World Of Henry Orient."  That fun filled, joyous feeling, was not part of Lee Israel's world.

                                                And I know this, because of my forays into Julius' bar.  You see, it was (and still is) right across the street from Three Lives Bookstore, on Waverly Place and West 10th Street, which was, and still is, my home away from home.  When in that area, and I needed to take a leak, I would stop in to Julius', and, to justify myself, order a coke, sit in the back, observe, read, and write.  These were also my spinster years, too, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Let me tell you, Julius' did, and still looks, like a stage set to perform "The Iceman Cometh."  And its clientele--elderly queens,  over aged, down on their luck hustlers, would have made the perfect cast.  Well, one day, I walked in, and who is sitting at one of the front benches, regaling a group of these hard luckers, but Lee Israel.  She never smiled; the closest she came to being ingratiating was a sarcastic snarl or sneer.  Which is why the joviality in some of the film clips I have seen bothered me.  This should be a dark, disturbing film.  I mean, if they are trying to pander to the mainstream, forget it.  Even the way it seems to have been lightened, this film does not stand much of a chance outside NYC, or other big, urban places, like San Francisco, or NOLA. So, why not go ahead and make it the depressing story it is; not a feel good film.  This is NOT "Moonstruck," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      I recall the first time I spotted her, my jaw dropped.  I knew who this woman was, and what she did.  I wanted to call her out, on the spot.  What the hell was she doing here, anyway?  I guess she needed to be regaled by anyone, even those low enough on the social chain to tolerate her.  Like when Vincent Price, in "Theater Of Blood" took on the meths, as his acolytes.

                                                    I am sure Lee would agree with me.  But, also, the needy and greedy person she was would love the attention she would be getting were she still here.  I have no doubt she would trot herself out for every press junket or promotional premiere screening.

                                                     Time for me to move on to other topics.  So, I will end this by saying a couple of things--

                                                       Greetings to all former colleagues at LPA!  Especially those who might remember Lee!

                                                         Congratulations, Lee!  You got what you wanted.  Or did you?

                                                        And lastly, for those interested in scouting this film's locations; for those obsessed with film locations of any kind, if you visit Julius' and have to use the bathroom, do NOT touch anything!

                                                         You might catch something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!