Darlings, Diamond Crystal Has Facets That Cling!!!!!!!

Girls, let me tell you, when one is on the go like I am--on the social circuit, darlings!!!!--you do a lot of eating out; from the high end to the middlebrow. One thing I have discovered is at the latter, vegetables are still cooked the June Cleaver way, which is to say they are cooked to death, till they re virtually mush, with no flavor!!!!! This accounts for this nation's high salt levels in people's diets, because to give this putridity any flavor you have to add salt. And the only salt to use is Diamond Crystal, the Uncommon Salt. You see, ordinary salt crystals slip and fall off, but Diamond Crystal has facets that cling, so it stays where you shake it!!!! And oh, girls, how we love things that cling--shake that booty, bitch, I am telling you!!!! How the days of salt have changed; do you remember Morton Salt, darlings???? "When it rains, it pours???" Well, the Morton Salt girl used to be a paragon of virtue, like me; now she has become a regular slut!!!!! I m ean, what is the world coming to?????

And the things one does for love!!!! Last night--after I cooked a fabulous meal the night before--Monsieur Davide drags me to see "I Love You, Philip Morris," starring one of my least favorite actors, Jim Carey. But for Monsieur I do this!!!! I have to say, it was not as bad as I thought, thanks to the enchanting looking and an enchanting performance from tje gifted Ewan MacGregor, along with support by Annie Golden, and Marylouise Burke!!!! But a little Carey goes too far with me; people like the slutty Morton Salt girl love him, but virgins like the 1950s Morton and me don't!!!! But we got through the film, and, believe me, the next excursion will be an artistic experience!!!!!!!

A special message to all my girls--today the Bergen Youth Orchestra concert honors Tyler Clementi!!!!! If you cannot get there, I am asking everyone to observe a half hour of silence from $PM, when the concert starts, till 4:30!!!! That's right, you vicious queens, see how long you can keep your mouth shut!!!! Duct tape!!!!!

And be a facet and cling to whatever gets you through, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!