Girls, Just When You Thought TV Could NOT Get Any Worse!!!!!!

So, darlings, after Monsieur and I got home from our elegant soirees we were both desperate for some e entertainment!!!!! We just missed the start of "The Wizard Of Oz" by ten minutes; and, darlings, I will not watch THAT film unless seen from the beginning!!!! I mean, the first time the Lion roars!!!!!!

But there was nothing on last night, darlings,--no "Law And Order SVU," no "Cops," not even a nice serial killer!!!!. When what should we discover but "Girls Who Are With Boys Who Like Boys!!!'

Honey, I thought I had seen it all with "The A-List New York," but this has it beat by miles!!!!!! First, the title is misleading--it should be called "FAG HAG"!!!!!! Because that is what it is about--Fag Hags!!!!!!

Take Ravi and Rosebud!!!!! First, what kind of girl allows herself to be called that????? Where is her self-respect!!!!! That is for a drag queen, not a Mary Anne "Tales From The City" wannabe!!!!! And Ravi--honey, this is SAbu trying to be gay, but not very good at it!!!! Get a loincloth, bitch!!!! Sabu may have been straight, but he knew what to do!!!!! Conflicted????? I could tell by the end of this segment he was going to go back to his parents in India, age into a fat snake charmer, and live on dal the rest of his life!!!!! Gag me with a spoon!!!!
Gag him with a thick dick--maybe it would help!!!!!!

Then there was David and Elisa, the two fashionista wannabes!!!! Well, at least they were better than the party last night!!!!! It seems she runs some coutre place that David manages. This is not so bad in itself, except that David gives HER grief about her body, suggests they go running, and Mr. Great Body, with that spare tire on him, crashes his ciscus after about ten paces, sits down to have a smoke--yeah, great for a runner--while Miss Running Novice outdoes him by leaps and bounds!!!!!!! Not to mention the one armed tattoo look is just SO ugly, who does he think he is kidding????? And who does he think he is going to have a gay relationship with???? But you know, these two maybe deserve each other, though I can tell you, as soon as she finds someone she will dump him like a hot potato, and send him back to the tattoo parlor pronto!!!! Bet he gets off on the PAIN!!!!!
He needs GMSA at the Center!!!! Bet you never thought of that, huh, David?????

Next, we have Crystal and Nathan, the Black couple. She is obviously going for the Michelle Obama Fashion Award, and sees herself as a prize Black bitch!!!!
She needs to read some Toni Morrison, though I don't think she could intellectualize a Tyler Perry movie!!!! And Nathan--all he does is scream about how he wants a baby by the time he is 35, when he is 34, and the nelliest Black queen I have seen in ages. Not to mention he was Uncle Tom-ing Crystal all over the place; sugar, if you want to feel demeaned, why don't you just move to the deep South where they still degrade Negroes?????? These two were degrading to watch!!!!!!!

However, I am saving the worst for last--Joel Derfner, and Sarah Rose!!!! She is some Upper East Side aspirant, who is absolutely NOT going to make it, because not only can you see she is no Blythe Danner, but I just know if I said Spence or Brearley to her, she wouldn't have the faintest clue!!!!!

As for Mr. Derfner-- you know, NOW I can understand the ones out there who are offended and dislike Julie Powell!!!!! I still ADORE Miss Powell, but my non-adoration of Derfner compares to that of Julie's detractors.

For starters, that red hair is not even natural!!!!! It is like what Mammy says of Belle Wattling in "GWTW"--"I ain't never seen hair that color vefo' in mah life!!!!" Listen, Belle is a classier act than this guy!!!!! Who claims to have a degree in linguistics from Harvard???? Have their standards sunk this low???? I guess, even Goat Alley could trash get in, now!!!!! Which, when you remove Defner's SO faux gay look, is probably what he is!!!!!! His greatest achievement, according to him, is that his boyfriend/partner is a doctor and a top!!!!! Well, he may be an MD, but from the looks of things the only thing THIS doc looks to have topped is the weight scale!!!! But I could not believe it when Derfner comes out with him being a published author--he wrote the book "Swish," which, of course, I, with my eye on the literary pulse in this town, has known about, and is going to have to now read!!!!! Let me tell you, I bet he does not write as well as Lauren weisberger, who is no Austen, but can at least parse a sentence; Derfner comes off like he cannot parse his ass!!!! Lauren at least has the most fabulous hair, which is what gets her published; Joel's hair is....ick!!!!!!!!!!!

But quelle catastrophe!!!! For who should tell m e that tghey bought this book and read it, but Monsieur himself!!!!! And now we cannot even find it in the apartment! I bet an evil Lesbian took it!!!!! Added to which Derfner claims to have been a steps aerobics instructor, a call boy--everything that requires a gay man to have looks and a body, which, believe me, NEITHER does he have!!!!!

He also claims to be the Gayest Man Ever!!!! And a musical theater composer; damned if I know any of his shows or ever will!!!! Hey, Joel, can you write me a showstopper????? But he is NOT the Gayest Man Ever, because, if you are reading this blog, darlings, then you know tha I, The Raving Queen, is that, and I am hereby casting down the gauntlet of challenge to Mr. Derfner, and telling him to meet me at the next SPLASH Show Night we can agree on, and, bitch, I will show you what gay is!!!!! Bet he does not even know who Donna McKechnie is!!!!!!!!

It just goes to show girls, for every piece of crap out there, a trap door opens for another!!!! Stick with me, darlings, so you do not fall through!!!!!