Girls, You Will Not Believe What We Had To Go Through Last Night!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you see that picture of Claudette, darlings??????? Do you see Claudette????
That is the iconic Claudette Colbert trying to hail a cab in the classic sequence from the Capra classic "It Happened One Night" 91934). Not for nothing, honey, did Claudette win that Oscar.

Well, that is what I was driven to do last night during a taxi ride with Monsieur Davide!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me backtrack.

Last night the Holiday Social Season officially kicked off with the Annual Gay and Lesbian Reading Group Christmas party!!!!! Held once more at Adam's palatial Upper West Side digs, and hosted by the fabulous Joel, who makes the world's greatest Mitais, the evening was a triumph for all, with Miss Kim, Julio (and his rotten book recommendations, though I love him for his reverence to Jennifer Jones)
and a host of others as yet undiscovered by yours truly. The drink flowed, the food was fabulous, a good time was had by all, and yes, girls, after three Mitais (at which point Monsieur insisted I stop) I was ready to do Judy At The Palace. I think I was doing "San Francisco" as he bundled me into my coat, and pushed me out the door.

So we hailed a cab, and started the trek downtown. Somewhere isn UsedCarLand, on Eleventh Avenue, the driver comes to a screeching halt--fortunately there is NO traffic; in fact, not a soul is in sight!!!!! I swear, I thought we were going to be robbed, murdered, or made the target of a terrorist attack. And this was no serial killer type-not smart enough--so it was out of my criminological league.

The guy gets out of the cab, stares at the front, says something about a headlight bulb being damaged, then we drive around this derelict and deserted (emphasis on the latter) nabe, trying to find someone to replace it. No luck, so the driver, dumps us in the middle of Nowhere, in the most Godforsaken place this side of Goat Alley in my hometown back in New Jersey!!!!! And you know I NEVER went in Goat Alley, and I certainly would Never have gone there after dark. It was not fit for respectable people!!!!!!!!!!

THAT is when I decided to take some action, because I was not going to stand for this crap much longer. Poor Monsieur, he was trying to be brave, but I could tell he was worried too. And not just because, with three Mitais in my system, I was high spirited and vivacious!!!!!!!!

So I stepped off from the curb, along Eleventh Avenue in Trashland, and in best Claudette fashion, hoisted up a pants leg to reveal a gam!!!! And let me tell you, darlings, in THIS town, with the Gay populace what it is, this works as well as it did for Claudette. Our cab driver came to a screeching halt, when he saw my leg, but, honey, let me tell you, I had no intention of letting him paw my panties!!!!!!!!
Monsieur would have had a fit; not to mention I love him (Monsieur), additionally so I just wanted to get us BOTH the Hell outta there!!!!!!!!!!! And I did, and off we went!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine???? A night of socialite partying descending to this squalid level????? No wonder I woke up in a fog this morning, voice slurred, too lacking in cognizance to get an advance tkt to "Black Swan." Well, what are you gonna do?????

But I am telling you, girls, in a crisis, you can always fall back on Claudette!!!!!!! Claudette showed us what to do, and I am telling, you, honey, it WORKED!!!!!!!!!

Make sure your gams are shaved, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!