Darlings, You Can't Beat The Arts For Bitchiness!!!!!!!!!

Girls, from "All About Eve," through "Valley Of The Dolls," and even "The Turning Point"--all Raving Queen "musts," darlings!!!!-- nothing tops bitchiness in the arts. With more people wanting to grab onto the ever elusive possession called Fame, it is almost an inevitability. But there is bitchiness, and then some, and this week's winner not only stands out, but, loves, how timely, when you consider the recent release of Darren Aronofsky's "Black Swan," with Natalie Portman!!!!!!!!!!

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week award is New York Times Dance Critic, Alistair Macaulay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And let me tell you, this distinction comes during a week ripe with bitches, what with that loving Madoff family, and Thora Birch and her father!!!!! But you cannot beat Mr. Macaulay!!!!!!!!

Here's the scoop, girls--Everything is NOT beautiful at the ballet. At least backstage at the NYCB, which is performing its annual cash cow "The Nutcracker." But while visions of sugar plums should be dancing in company members' heads, visions of malevolence towards Macaulay are filtering through instead, and, girls, I agree with them.

In reviewing a recent performance, this allleged dancd crtic deemed Jennifer Ringer, dancing the coveted Sugar Plum Fairy role as the Sugar "Plump" Fairy, insisting she looked as though she had eaten too many sugar plums. And her Prince came in for some snide comments, too!!!!!!!! Now, darlings, as you know, no one has more respect for the wealthy and well endowed, especially when it comes to looks, and I can tell you this Fairy and Cavalier have nothing wrong with them. I mean, have you seen his basket????? The sample is ample. girls; let me assure you!!!!!!!!

You have to ask--how long has it been since Macaulay hit the barre????????? If ever????????? And you know I mean the dance bar, darlings, not the corner one!!!!! Looks to me like he spends a little too much time at the latter!!!!!!! Looks to me like he has come on to some corps boys, and they rejected him????? Can you blame them????????? And he is one to talk about BODY issues, when the issue of HIS body, starting with his face, is that it is just plain ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Clive Barnes was corpulent, but he never went after dancers this way!!!!!!! He knew better!!!!!!! This guy should be made to dance "The Red Shoes" ballet on pointe, with a ballet master flaying him with a whip!!!!!!!!! Or maybe he would enjoy that!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Raving Queen has not had so much fun with a BOTW since Sarah Pauley as Anne Gillette!!!!!! But I am telling you, things cannot be all sunshine over at "The Nutcracker!" Mr. Macaulay had better watch his steps, or else he will find his nuts get cracked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I won't do that, darlings!!!!!!!!! I leave that to more castrating bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a Bitchfest, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!