Oh, My God!!!!! Darlings, She Goes Absloutely Batshit On Stage!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, yesterday we were lucky enough to get through the crowds, and see "Black Swan" on its opening weekend; no small feat, this, in a city where every queen, balletophile, and YES, lesbian, will flock to see this chronicle of artistic ambiguity, where Natalie Portman, living with the Mother From Hell, Barbara Hershey (or is she?) who looks like Hell, goes stark, raving bonkers--or does she?????

The fact is, nothing you see in this film is as you see it. Or is it? That is the challenge the film poses, which, in addition to the most gorgeous editing, cinematography and art direction seen this year, is going to have everyone flocking to repeat viewings to figure out for themselves just what the Hell is going on.

Let me tell you, I was so riveted to the screen, I did not even notice the illegal extra seating the theater provided for patrons they oversold seats, too. A fire hazard, yes!!!! But this film was so compelling, I don't think the audience would have left if flames had shot out of the screen. I didn't even notice Monsieur Davide, who saw the film with me, remove his glasses, to protect himself from motion sickness. But I CAN tell my more sensitive girls to watch out for the big lesbian scene, during which I almost screamed!!!!! I mean, when Mila Kunis....I simply CANNOT describe it.

Natalie Portman gives the performance of her career. But what has happened to Barbara Hershey???? Is she just uglied up for the part, or is this what Time has done to her???? If the latter is true, I am warning all my girls NOW--keep slathering on that cold cream!!!! Vincent Cassel is pure sleaze, and then there is Winona Ryder as faded ballet Queen Beth---I am telling you, she is great, BUT I have GOT to get a new agent!!!! I so wanted to be seen for this film, and I am telling you, the Winona role is MY role!!!!! This film is like an incorporation of my childhood!!!!! Or at least the one I told myself I wanted!!!!!!!!

But, honeys, I want you all to go out and see this film!!!! Not only will you go batshit over it, it will celar all the bats out of YOUR belfires!!!!!!

And it will send us all back to the dance barre, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!