Gojira Wishes All My Girls A Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!

                                   Gojira is such a fun loving reptile, darlings, he just loves to celebrate ALL the holidays!  So, here  he is, wishing everyone a joyous Easter by dispensing Peeps to children in need!!!!!!!!!
What a humanitarian!  Better than that Mothra, I can tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Now, I know what you are thinking--with those teeth, Gojira could rip apart those Peeps in seconds!  But he is on his way to give them to those more in need,!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am sure Sister Camille would be very impressed with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      So, a Happy Easter to you all, from Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The Easter Bunny is not the only one who visits, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, This Is The Day That Mary Magdalene Carried Spices To The Tomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Happy Easter, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   This day is about different things for different people.  For some, it is chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, and multi-colored eggs.  For others, it is watching "The Ten Commandments," or some such film.

                                     But when it comes right down to it, what Easter is about is Mary Magdalene carrying spices to the tomb, to anoint the body of Jesus.  Which is how the Gospel opens--"At dawn, on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb."  That's right, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!  She may not have known how to love Him, but she knew the importance of anointing the Body with spices.

                                      Of course, as we all know, she found the rock rolled away, and ran to tell the Disciples, "The Lord has been taken from the tomb!"  It is debatable what she wore, so, when you see that scene, darlings, in "The Greatest Story Ever Told, " with Carroll Baker running from the tomb, the "Hallelujah Chorus" on the soundtrack, dressed in a bright, red, Dorothy Lamour-type sarong, I would be just a bit suspicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Not to forget the Resurrection, loves--after all, this is what Easter is for--but I think it is high time Mary Magdalene got her due!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Happy Easter, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And don't ask any of this to Yvonne Elliman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When 60-Year-Old Men Dress Like East Village Hipsters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Girls, you would not believe the day I had, yesterday, though it did turn out to be a Good Friday!  I survived my dental appointment, where I was told no cavities--nothing!!!!!!!!--which means I am outta there for the next six months!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then I hurried back to Brooklyn, where I did some errands, took a blood test, and popped into Our Lady Of Angels Church, where they were just getting ready for a Good Friday Service.  I couldn't stay for that, so home I went to rest, then Monsieur came home, and we went to the only place we could go during this period--the Lighthouse Cafe!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              We love the Lighthouse, but on Fridays, at least this Lenten ones, where one is not supposed to eat meat, you can get a standard order of Fish Cakes and Spaghetti there!!!!!!!!!!!  Which I did, and it was superb!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Sitting behind us, in this booth facing the window, was this guy and his entourage, and how (or where?????) they happened in to this Bay Ridge neighborhood eatery, is beyond me, because they were not from Bay Ridge. Hell, I am not even sure if they were from this planet.

                                                   The leader of the entourage was this guy, who had to be at least 60, dressed in hipster gear that barely fit him, and that he was at least 40 years too old far. He wore sunglasses the whole time, which told me either he was on drugs, or he thought he was Jack Nicholson.  I think the latter, because this guy talked his blowhard accomplishments (much of which, I am sure, were products of his imagination) as an artist, yakking about the people he knows, how he is so "on the scene," (oh, Puh-Leeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!!) until I just wanted to scream out "Get over yourself!"  I was actually uttering some pretty bitchy comments, which Monsieur was trying to get me to keep down, but this guy was so egocentric, I don't think he would have cared what I said, because it would have gone over his head.  Like certain Julliard adjunct instructors I could mention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      This guy was a trip!  When he left, he said farewell to the staff, as though they should have been honored to have him there.  The Lighthouse staff is one of the warmest and friendliest I know, but I could tell they were not singularly impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!   And the atmosphere became much more restful, once he and his crowd left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

                                                         Pauline Kael, the late, great film critic, once said, "Boobs on the make always try to impress with their high level of seriousness."  I wish Pauline had been there to see this guy in action!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wonder what Time Warp they went back to, after they left?????????????

                                                           It just goes to prove, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not all the nutcases are in Manhattan!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They can turn up anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             Just stay out of MY neighborhood, though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Scumbag Prick, But An Emmy Caliber Performance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   David Marciano is a fine actor, who has been kicking around the business for awhile.
But his performance as cameraman Dick Purcell on the recent 'SVU' episode, entitled "Legitimate Rape," ( a riff on Missouri Senator Todd Akin's (a Republican, of course!) remark that a woman cannot get pregnant if it is a "legitimate rape!!!!!") was compelling enough to make me want to put me hand through the screen, and strangle the guy.  When I felt this rage coming over me, I had to keep reminding myself of what a fine job Marciano, as an actor, was doing!

                                     There was one bit of contrivance, which I objected to.  This cameraman also turned out to have a Law Degree from Fordham, though he never took the bar.  That would make an interesting story right there!  Why go to all that trouble, effort, and expense, if all you are going to do is be a news cameraman--not that that is any disgrace, but , compared to an attorney?????

                                          The answer lie with Marciano's character, Dick Purcell. He is a master manipulator, and he took that degree, so he could manipulate people in his life.  Like news anchor Avery Jordan, played by "The Walking Dead's" Lauren Cohan, in an interesting performance.  I was on the fence about Avery from the beginning; it sounded, initially like she had been leading Purcell on, he took the message wrong, and voila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              But when the guy turns out to be a sleazy stalker, and a law grad, who uses Avery's words against her (their personal conversations, during work lulls, about her wanting to have a child, etc.) I knew Avery was telling the truth, and dealing with a scumbag. And the way Marciano used his face to deliver the most authentic looks of smug superciliousness I have seen says much about his acting, and his character requiring little dialogue.

                                                 The contrivance came when the arrogant Purcell dismisses on the spot, the great Roger Kressler (the equally great Ned Eisenberg, who here is beginning to show his age!!!!!!!!) and decides to represent himself.  His idea of cross examining Avery amounts to interpersonal rape of a sort--right on the courtroom stand!  This guy is filth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    And that juror with the cross!  The minute I saw her, I knew there was going to be trouble; she must have been time traveled in from the Spanish Inquisition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Because of her, and her buying into Akins' argument, espoused by a doctor in this episode, the juror found Purcell Not Guilty of rape, but Guilty of stalking!  Then the guy has the nerve to sue for custody of his child, and is awarded visitation rights?????????  What is wrong with the Justice System, darlings????????????  When rapists get more rights than their victims?????????  A bit of male sexism, perhaps????????????????

                                                         Well, good for Olivia, (Mariska Hargitay!!!!!!!) who spirits Avery and Theo (the child) to some place where she can never be extradited!!!!!!!!!!!!  Leaving Purcell in the Interrogation Room, where I hope he is hauled from, off to a cell, for the rest of his life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           But kudos to David Marciano for a bravura performance!!!!!!!!!!!
Seldom has anyone this bad been so GOOD, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            Like when the show USED to be good all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Holy Saturday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               When I was young, girls--yes, dears, I actually WAS!!!!--this was the night for decisions--which movie to stay up late and watch; the choices being either "Easter Parade" on Channel 2, or "The Song Of Bernadette," on Channel 7!!!!!!!!!!  Well, as history proves, you all know my choice, girls!!!!!!!!!

                                As TV evolved, and these options were eliminated by the expansion of cable, and the availability of DVDs, it became more of a question of what does one do,  or is supposed to, on Holy Saturday????????????

                                 There isn't much you can do.  A church visit, for prayer, meditation, or the Stations Of The Cross, is always beneficial, whether or not you attend the Easter Vigil Saturday night.  Personally, I like my Easter service on Easter itself!

                                    Some of us, like yours truly, have to work today!!!!!!!!  Can you believe it?????????
What about religious freedom?  Better yet, what about me planning ahead, and requesting it??????????

                                     Poor Holy Saturday!  It just gets lost between Good Friday, and Easter Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!  Those who believe just...wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And absolutely no "Night Fever" THIS Saturday, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Good Friday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Heaven Help Me!!!!!!!!!!!!  Mary!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sister Camille!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Not only is it Good Friday--already, can you believe it????--but I have to go to the dentist!  Talk about a penitential, Purgatorial experience!!!!!!!!!!!  Armed with anti-biotics, I will march in there, and have my teeth cleaned, which, last time, took only 45 minutes, but seemed like hours.

                           Then, since I actually have the day off, it is into some church--St. Patrick's, perhaps????--where I will ponder about another Good Friday!  And not just that meatless Fridays now come to an end!!!!!!!!!!!

                            For those who have to work today, darlings, think about this day, and what it means to you individually.  Think about Pope Francis, who is going media world wide, with the Stations Of The Cross, today at 4PM (New York time!!!!).  Has that ever been done before!!!!!!!!!!

                            Or pull out that old vinyl recording of "Jesus Christ Superstat!," and give it a listen.  But today--NO dancing, during the King Herod number!!!!!!!!!

                             Hallelujah, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Book Should Have Been Fun......But NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Before getting into "The Middlesteins," darlings, let me say once again--you cannot judge a book by its cover. The jacket design is colorful and engaging, (and kudos to the designer) so I was expecting something fun and intriguing, along the lines of "Where'd You Go, Bernadette?"  And I was intrigued by how it would deal with the obesity issue, since Edie, its central character, struggles with it.

                                                My anticipation was furthered by a blurb on the front from Jonathan Franzen, extolling the merits of Jami Attenberg's novel.  I settled back, and began to read.

                                                  Now, dolls,  I got through it, but all I can say is, thank God the book was a short 275 pages, and even then I was in a hurry for things to be wrapped up.  "The Middlesteins" seems to be all over the place as to what it wants to do--channel Philip Roth, concoct a Jewish version of "The Corrections"--but I am here to say it succeeds at neither.

                                                     Edie, the obese woman in question, is the most engaging character. Her daughter-in-law, Rochelle, is a real bitch, who I wanted someone to smack.  When Rochelle and her adolescent daughter, Robin, go at it, in true mother-daughter fashion, I thought Rochelle got exactly what she deserved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       The buzz on this book was slight, and  I did not notice it popping up on any lists last year, when it first appeared. If people are waiting for lists this year, I would not wait for "The Middlesteins" to be on any of them. .  At times amusing, but never truly funny, without the linguistic skill of Franzen or Roth, (even Roth at his worst!!!!!!!!!) my reaction upon finishing this was an elongated "Blah!!!!!!!!!"

                                                         Spare yourselves, girls!!!!!!!!!!!  And give me "Middlemarch" ANY day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Bitch Is Hard To Beat, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I originally had two contenders for this week, darlings, but when I thought it over, the heinous act this week's winner, De'Marquise Elkins, only 17 years of age, did, trounces all else.

                                            On March 11 of this year, in Brunswick, Georgia, Elkins, and his 15-year-old accomplice, Dominique Lang, walked up to Sherry West, pushing her baby, Antonio Santiago, only 13 months, let me tell you, and proceeded to say they were going to rob her.

                                               I guess she resisted, or reacted negatively (I mean, who wouldn't???) but the teens persisted.  Then one of them--Elkins, I imagine--threatened to kill her baby if she did not turn over any money!!!!!!!!  Before you could blink, this scum walked up to this innocent baby, in his carriage, pointed a gun at him, and shot directly into his face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Sherry got shot, too, but she lived.  The sad thing is she will have to live with this trauma the rest of her life.  The good thing is, she may be able to help put these two behind bars for Life, where they belong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Because they are both minors, they cannot get the Death penalty, which, in the case of Elkins, is especially unfortunate.  Even if he rots in prison for 60 years, that is 60 years more than Antonio got.  But watch out!  A guy who murdered an infant???????  He may not last long in prison!!!!!!!!! And good riddance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        The first thing I asked myself was, were these two high??????  I am certain the robbery motive was drug related. But to pull a gun on an infant--if he was high, it's no excuse, but it explains, by eliminating clear thinking, a cause for this heinous act.  If. on the other hand, they weren't, then this is just Pure Evil, in which case get Elkins behind bars, because he will certainly kill again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         This scum is one of the worst Bitches I have ever designated this title to!!!!!!!!!  With not even a third of the year gone, he is already looking good for the year's Top Spot!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Take his picture, darlings, and use it as a dart board!!!!!!!!  It will be good catharsis in the wake of what he did to Baby Antonio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              May the soul of this truly innocent be granted justice for he and his  mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               And may this Bitch Of The Week get no peace, for what he did!!!!!!!!!!!.

                                                       

Laudy, Laudy!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's Maundy Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Can you believe we are  near the end of another Holy Week????????????

                             According to the Palm Sunday service I recently attended, this is the day on which Lent ends.  Could have fooled me; who thought it was Easter!!!!!!!!!!  But, does that mean those who gave up stuff for Lent can go back now????????  Is this day the end of the 40 day cycle?????  I don't know; I still think it is Easter!!!!!!!!!!!  That's how I was raised, and that is how I feel, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             The word Maundy has something to do with cleanliness.  Lots of hand washing at the Last Supper, I can tell!!!!!!!!  But when did Mary Magdalene do her famous foot washing with her hair???????  That's what I want to know!!!!!!!!  Who am I supposed to ask, Yvonne Ellimann???????????

                              So, a Happy Maundy (or Holy) Thursday to one an all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And watch out for that swinging incense at tonight's evening service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Look at all my trials and tribulations, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talk About Spy Wednesday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                This is filmmaker Harmony Korine, known for such Independent Film gems as "Kids" and "Gummo" (the last which I am still dying to see, because of the scene of the little boy with the rabbit ears!!!!).  It is almost fitting that this story breaks on Spy Wednesday, and it calls into question about not only everything about Korine, but the career of James Franco, as well!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Let me explain.  Recently, Mr. Korine was scheduled to be a guest on "The David Letterman Show," primarily to promote "Spring Breakers," a movie he had just made, with James Franco.
Well, it seems Letterman had another guest for that evening. Someone by the name of Meryl Streep.  That is right, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  We are talking about the Divine MERYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Letterman obviously understood the divinity of his guest star, so he went up to the dressing room, to greet her, welcome her, put her at her ease--as if MERYL needed to be put at ease!!!!!!! Though it shows, at least, Letterman knows what he is doing.  Well, he knocks on the door, and gets no answer.  Then, he walks in....and MERYL is not there!  On a table is her purse, and caught red handed, his other guest, Harmony Korine, is rifling through--get this, darlings--her purse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        There is so much wrong with this!  Rifling through anyone's purse--mine, girls!!!!!!!!-- would be wrong, but to go through MERYL STREEP's??????????????  Letteman wisely and promptly gave Korine the heave-ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           No comment has been heard from Miss Streep, which speaks of her class and graciousness.  If it had been Anna Wintour's purse, Korine would be floating in the Hudson, by now!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             But it is not nice to mess with MERYL STREEP, as, in some way, Mr. Korine will find out!!!!!!!!!!!  Starting with this blog post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               And how about James Franco?????????  Talented actor, but, oh boy!!!!!!!!
With his NYU shenanigans, and now on 'Letterman'--he defended, actually defended, Korine!!!!!!!!!--he is asking for trouble!  Franco is an actor skilled enough to be able to work with MERYL STREEP; I have always thought that!!!!!!!!!!!! But, after this, do you even think he stands a chance?????????

                                                 James, honey, I am telling you--your career is COOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Spy Wednesday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             After a lovely--and hilarious--Passover Seder last night, we come to Spy Wednesday, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  No, this is not a day of legalized voyeurism!!!!!!!!!!!  It is the day Jesus was spied on, though I was never sure by whom.  Some images show Judas kissing him, but I always thought that took place tomorrow night in Gethsemane!!!!!!!!!!!   But, then, I am not the most reliable in these matters!

                              I WILL have a story for you, later, that, nasty as it is, is just perfect for this day!

                              Is there a way to celebrate Spy Wednesday, dolls?  I am not sure, but my advice to you today is--keep your eyes and hands to yourselves!!!!!!!!!!

                               And make sure those nails are polished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               

Let Us Be Inspired, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Well, I am convinced, girls, now I have to convince you!
                           
                                            Can you believe it is Spring, and we still have the Winter doldrums??????  Feeling blah, tired, run down!!!!!!!  Oh, honey, let me tell you!   Well, I have a potential solution.

                                              If you Google "'Chorus Line' Warm Up." you can see, and hear, Baayork Lee--Miss Connie Wong, herself, loves!!!!!!--explain, and demonstrate some of the moves, of the 45 minute warm up that each performer in this show undergoes, in order to perform it every night.

                                               Now, I am certainly not facing this challenge--I would need a year of INTENSE physical training before I would even set foot on stage to dance one movement of ACL--but , after what I saw on YouTube, I thought--why not adapt Baayork's techniques to a more limited time frame--say 5 to 15 minutes, depending on one's age and limitations, and see what happens??????????

                                                  Baayork talks about toning and strength, so, at the very least, one should get that.  And it should help one sleep better--though not as well, as if you had just done "A Chorus Line."

                                                    And who knows?  Maybe, after a year, say of doing Baayork warm ups, we can move up to 45 minutes, and then who knows????????   Might I be the next Cassie, darlings??????
Or Sheila?????????  Hell, I'll even do Val!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      So, tomorrow, which happens to be Spy Wednesday, we begin!

                                                       'A five, six, seven, eight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, With All The Talk About Gay Marriage These Days, Let's Talk About Weddings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Or, at least, one wedding specifically, darlings--MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Now, you have heard how I want the ceremony and the reception at The Pierre, and whenever all this takes place, I certainly want all my girls to be there!  And you have heard me say many times how the gown has GOT to be designed by Vera Wang!!!!!!!!!!!!  Are you getting that, Vera???????  You want to start measuring now!??????????????????

                                            It was only recently, what with Passover upon us, and references to bar and bat mitzvahs, that I heard of  chocolate fountains.  They are often popular at these events, especially with children, as ounces of chocolate (is it recyclable, I wonder?) just cascades downwards, while guests either suck it up (tasteless!) pour it into  cups, on fruit, or whatever, and....indulge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              The minute I heard about this, I just KNEW I had to have one at my wedding.  Guess I am just a child, at heart.  Which leads me to another thing--the design of the hall floor.
Many of you, I am sure, thought I would opt for a duplication of the Twister game board--a white background, with multi-colored dots!  That is not a bad idea, but I have one, even better!!!!!!!!!  Are you ready???????????????????

                                             That is right, darlings!  A Candy Land game board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              The entire ceremony would be an interactive Candy Land game, with guests moving to take their seats, according to multi-colored cards.  The bride and groom, once everyone was seated, would march down the aisle, unaided by cards, stopping until we reached the candy house with the pink roof, where the ceremony would be performed.  After that, we would scoot over to the other side of the room, where a more traditional dining setting would await, complete with that chocolate fountain!!!!!!

                                                I am telling you, girls, it would be the Talk Of The Town!!!!!!! Hell, maybe even after I post this, it already will be!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Weddings are personal matters, loves, and you better believe mine will be that, and up front!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Be extra nice to me--bring me an expensive gift!--if you want to catch my bouquet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Passover, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Last night may have been the First Night, girls, but tonight is when we whoop it up at the home of Monsieur's glamorous friend, Ellen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, may your Seder be the best, and bountiful, insuring the best for the year to come!  Even Gojira will wear his special yarmulke (worn otherwise only in Hollywood!!!!) in honor of the evening!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  And neither one of us is going near that Gefelte fish, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  Nor that Vida Herring, in Cream Sauce, or in Wine!  I just can't get that stuff down!  And horseradish--argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Monsieur made a perfect Passover meal last eve--brisket, mushrooms (yummy!), potatoes, carrots, in a delicious gravy sauce.  With matzoh and matzoh ball soup to go with it!  Talks about passing over, into the Promised Land!

                                    That's right; that is what is celebrated.  Time to sing "Get Happy!", or watch "The Ten Commandments!"  At least, the Parting Of The Red Sea sequence!

                                     This is the holiday that makes me feel just like Yvonne De Carlo, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, There Is Something Wrong With The Way "Annie" Is Being Advertised!!!!!!!!!!

                                Darlings, after almost 30 years of living and being gay in New York, I don't think I can be called a prude.  There is always the question of good taste, and what I have to wonder about, of late, is some of the ads for the musical "Annie" I am seeing in subway stations of late.

                                 When this revival (which I will not see, save for a free ticket, simply because I had the good fortune of having been old enough to have seen Andrea McArdle, Dorothy Loudon  And Company in the 1977 Original!!!!!!!!!!) first opened, the advertising was tasteful and understated--the way it should be for this show.  The familiar black background, equally familiar "Annie" lettering, a picture of the comic book character to the right, with one reviewer proclaiming it to be "an extraordinary evening."  Really?, I thought. I am telling you, I was so enticed by this, initially, I might have eventually bought a ticket and gone, had the ad lasted.

                                    Alas, it didn't.  Instead, it has been replaced by two alternates, which I find a bit questionable in taste.

                                      The above photo may seem innocuous enough, but against this image, in the ad is emblazoned, in caps, "GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!" When you look at this image, and this wording, taking it all in, the so-called innocent "Annie" orphans come off just one step removed from the dance hall girls (ahem!) in "Sweet Charity!"

                                         And that is not all!  There is this other, even more disturbing ad, that features Oliver Warbucks with a very "Come hither" look on his face.  The ad reads, "WHO"S YOUR DADDY?", and, I am telling you the connotations are unmistakable.  For "Annie????????"  What in hell are the advertisers thinking? Who is the show's press agent, because they either need to represent another show fast, or pull the ads off of this one!!!!!!!!!!!  What kind of audience do they want to attract--busloads of pedophiles???????????   Just what we need!!!!!!!!!!!!  Don't we have enough already????????????

                                           I am surprised no one has objected yet!  And if I were one of the mothers of the orphan girls, I would say something!!!!!!!!!!!  Maybe I am the only one bothered by all this!!!!!!!!!!  And I am not exactly Mary Poppins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            What ever happened to, "The sun will come out tomorrow????????"

Darlings, Not All The "Cinderellas" In The Audience, Yesterday, Were Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   What a Palm Sunday, lambs!  From the Passion, to the Prince!!!!!!!!!

                                    There was more swooning at yesterday's performance of "Rodgers And Hammerstein's Cinderella" than I have seen in recent memory. The minute the Overture struck up
the song "Ten Minutes Ago," I was not the only one to swoon. And when Lauren Osncs (SO perfect as Cinderella) and Santino Fontana, as the Prince, render this bauble vocally, the swooning and sighing during the number outdid Southerners at a Christan revivalist meeting!!!!!!!!!  And with good reason!  This song is so simple, so lovely, and so musically compelling, who wouldn't swoon????????  Those who didn't are either deaf, or have no soul. Or maybe they just cannot tell the difference between REAL music, as opposed to "Spring Awakening" crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The sets and costumes were also to die for!  When the curtain went up on the Ball Scene, it elicited gasps, like the Ascot scene in "My Fair Lady."  And, with the dancers a swirl of colors, beneath a center stage clock ticking ever closer to midnight, this show has more visual definition than anything I have seen staged, since the recent revival of "Follies." And that was almost two years ago.

                                        And, like I said, while there were plenty of mothers and daughters in the audience, for whom I can see this directed, there were plenty of Theater Queens, kings, and an occasional one-eyed jack!!!!!!!!!  Who swooned as much as the females in the audience; you better believe it, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Hey, it is "Cinderella!!!!!!!!!!" What's not to like?????????????????

                                         Which is now where I am forced to introduce the name Douglas Carter Beane!
This glib and talented playwright is fine with his own material, but when asked to work on others', does he sell out big time!  Talk about kissing theatrical ass!!!!!!!!!!  If he were told to give "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf" a happy ending, as long as he got paid, he would do it!!!!!!!!!!!!   Even if Albee objected!!!!!!!! Now, those are two egos I would like to see clash--Albee is at least a certified genius, and has the credentials to prove it. Mr. Beane's credentials, impressive they may be, nevertheless demonstrate  that he is nothing more than a successful workingman's writer.  No small accomplishment, that, and I credit him for it, but he is no genius, like Albee. Though I get the impression he thinks he is.

                                            His changes don't hurt the show.  I even like empowering Cinderella more; she may be stuck "In Her Own Little Corner," but she is no Fantine, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              However--

                                               Eliminating the King and Queen, replacing them with a regent for the Prince, who is a counterpoint to the Stepmother for Cinderella, just does not work, no matter how well Peter Bartlett (one of our best working actors!!!!!!!!) plays the role, or how breathtaking his costumes are!  Harriet Harris plays the Stepmother for all it is worth; like Laura and Santino, she nails her character.  But I have a problem with the arch villains not getting their comeuppance at the end!  This is a fairy tale, for God's sake!!!!!!!!  Even Miss Hannigan gets dragged off, screaming, at the end of "Annie!"   This forgiveness thing "Cinderella" does I get why she does it, but, let me tell you, darlings, the way this bitch treated her, if I had been Cinderella I would have a lot of trouble forgiving Madame!!!!!!!!  But that's just ME, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  How about what has been done to the Stepsisters??????? They have been stripped of their authenticity, by having one of them have a social conscience, fall in love with a revolutionary (who does she think she is???? Julie Christie as Lara in "Doctor Zhivago?") which takes away from one of the score's best songs--the "Stepsisters' Lament" is now sung by only one sibling, backed up by Ladies of the Court. It does not work this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the compassionate  sister ends up being treated as badly by her OWN MOTHER as Cinderella!!!!!!!!!!!!   What is going on here?????????????

                                                     And yet this bitch gets no comeuppance!  Just "Ha! Ha! I'm sorry, and the wedding is beautiful!"  Well, it is; opulently so, in fact! But that Stepmother should never have been invited!
Nor her other, daughter, Charlotte!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       But, like I said, these are quibbles!  Once the lights go down and this show begins to work the magic it still has, you will "never come down to Earth again!"

                                                        Oh, my God!  How about Victoria Clark, as the Fairy Godmother, with the most gorgeous looking gown, who sings like a dream and flies through the air?????????  If any cast member should be cited for doing the "Impossible," it is she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Yes, my dears, "the world is full of zanies and fools/Who don't believe in sensible rules/Who don't believe what sensible people say!"

                                                             Which is why I say--Thank God for US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Palm Sunday, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            "Worthy Is The Lamb....." and all that!

                              Can you believe we have made it to Palm Sunday--another!!!!--already????????????
And Holy Week and Passover at once!  And I have to take on both!  Plus--the worst--a visit to the dentist on....Good Friday!!!!!!!!!!!  Hope this is a positive omen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Despite our getting to bed late last eve--1AM; very unusual for us, darlings!!!!-- I was up in time to hear Sister Camille on 1010 WINS.  She said, as Lent winds down, instead of giving up, we should think about taking on--like tending to those we know who are wounded birds!!!!!!!!!!!  But, with two weeks gone by into his reign, and no mention of Pope Francis, I am getting the silent, yet eloquent impression, that Sister Camille is none too happy with the selection of the present Pontiff!  Even the congregation at my church last week were divided; when polled on what they thought, there was tumultuous applause  from one  section of the room; luke warm claps from the other.

                                   But let us not be divided on Palm Sunday.  Whether finishing up fasting for Lent, or dining on horseradish for Passover, let us make this week a celebration of joy!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    And pray, darlings, that I survive the dentist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Let Me Tell You, When You Read "Villette," You Live "Villette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                         Here is something to ponder, girls--if you think "Jane Eyre" is  the be all and end all of Charlotte Bronte, then you have not read "Villette."  Sure, "Jane Eyre" is the  better known, the more "entertaining, and fun to read," and, let's face it, not so difficult,  book,  but "Villette" is "Jane Eyre," taken to a mature, advanced level.

                                        To be sure, it has all those Charlotte Bronte elements--a penniless woman of fortitude (Lucy Snowe) who ventures out into the world, not so much seeking her fortune, as eking out a living, a girls' school, a gaggle of girl students, vindictive bitches, mysterious men, the ghost of a nun--even a mysteriously deformed child called "the Cretin," who appears all too briefly (I wish Charlotte had done more with her!!!!) but is far more sympathetic and forgivable than Bertha Rochester, from "Jane Eyre."

                                         Paulina Mary, as a child, borders on being as annoying as Adele in "Jane Eyre," but, fortunately, she matures.  Unlike Ginevra Fanshawe, the novel's narcissistic bitch, and this book's counterpart to Rosamond Vincy, of George Eliot's "Middlemarch."  Even Lucy here reminds me of Dorothea Brooke from that other, even more brilliant, novel (which you have GOT to read, girls!!!!!!!!!)

                                           Interestingly, the great Virginia Woolf sounded off on both novels.  She said "Villette" is "Bronte's finest novel," and I have to agree.  Its sense of characterization and language reveal a heightened sense of development as a writer, especially if you read it after "Jane Eyre."

                                             Virginia also said, of "Middlemarch," that it was "the first Victorian novel written for grown up people."  She has a point, though I, personally, must give that designation to Charlotte's sister, Emily's, masterpiece, "Wuthering Heights."

                                               By the time "Villette" was written and published, all the Bronte siblings had died.  That left Control Queen Charlotte in charge, which saddened her, in an emotional sense, but must have pleased her, from a publication one.

                                                I mean, just think if Emily (who was the most BRILLIANT of the Brontes, despite what bullshit Charlotte told to Elizabeth Gaskell!!!!!!!!!) might have remarked, upon reading "Villette"--

                  "That bitch! (referring to her sister!) She wrote a book almost as good as mine!!!!!!!!!!!"

Girls, You Will Not Believe How My Day Started!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             
                                                    It was a coffee nightmare, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Here it was, a REAL weekend--you know, one where I actually have a Saturday off!!!!!--and I was in that euphoric state between sleep and wakefulness, when I had the most terrifying dream!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     It was a combination of the past and present.  We were visiting my sister, but not in the house she lives in, a combination of all the houses she has lived in.  My father and mother were there.  So were my nephew Jonathan, his wife, Mandy,and their two children, Fiona and Alexander.

                                                     Well, the house is stirring from its slumber, and I fully awaken, get out of bed......and there is no smell of coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!  My anxiety level instantly goes up!!!!  I get to the kitchen--and the coffee maker looks like it has been dismantled, with coffee falling all over the counter.  Apparently, it had been filled, but when the apparatus broke, it spread out all over the counter.

                                                      "No Coffee!" I screamed, at the top pf my lungs!!!! And the house came running.

                                                         Also in this dream, mysteriously, was my cousin, Maureen Hearn, whom I have not seen in almost 20 years.  With every good intention in the world, thinking it would placate me, she held up a powdered mix in front of me, asking if I would like her to make me a Mocha Latte Explosion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           "Not from a mix!" I wailed, and then began my non-stop mantra--
"Where the fuck is my coffee???????????"

                                                              I began banging the counter repeatedly, and saying this over and over.  My sister looked exasperated, my parents tried to get me to stop, my father tried to grab my arms, and pin them behind me, but I bit him, (just a scratch, girls!!!!!!!!!) Jon and Mandy ran out the door, (claiming they were going to the store to get coffee, though I had to wonder if they were not just escaping from all this!!!!!!!!!)  while their two children, Fiona and Alexander, joined me in my mantra, screaming "Where the fuck is my coffee?"  Fiona banged her hands on the couch seats, Alexander banged his fists against one of the walls!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             Gojira was so terrified--Gojira! Can you imagine????--when I told him of this dream, he ran into his cabana, locked himself in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He has since come out.

                                                               Because, happily, loves, it was only a dream!!!!!!!!!
One I awakened from, went to the kitchen, made a pot (the dream caused me to make more!!!!) of coffee, and came out here, to write this blog, where a steaming cup. which I am sipping from, is happily beside me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                 Good to the last drop, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  But make sure you get that all important FIRST drop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clench That Rose, Rise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Darlings, I swear, until I saw "Going My Way" as a child, I did not know Rise Stevens from anything!!!!!!!!!!!   I have to wonder how many gay little boys became Vicious Opera queens, due to her appearance in this film, where Father Chuck O'Malley (Bing Crosby,in his Oscaar-winning role) takes a bunch of white (this was the 1940's, after all, girls!!!!!!) street toughs to the opera to see her perform "Carmen," her signature role.

                                        It's a wonder I did not become one of those Opera Queens!!!!!!!!!  I was so impressed by her voice, and the way she swayed those hips, I can't believe I did not try and imitate this. But I was more seduced by Crosby's sound, with "Swinging On A Star," which proved, in retrospect, I was headed toward the Path of Musical Theater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Still those "Carmen" sequences with Rise are some of the best moments in "Going My Way."  Even my parents knew who she was; when she came on screen, they recognized her instantly!!!!!!!!!!

                                            At 99, almost 100 (which she would have reached on June 11--darn!!!!!!!!) Rise has gone to that Dressing Room In The Sky, waiting for her cue, to clench that rose, and sing before the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a marvelous sound the Celestial Divinities are in for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               So, the next time you watch "Going My Way," in between getting all teary and misty eyed over Barry Fitzgerald and the "Too-Ra-Loo-Ra" ending. take notice of Rise!!!!!!!!!  She was one of the first to bring opera to the minions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  And bred an entire generation of Vicious Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No More Wild Days For Harry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Sweeties, I am almost embarrassed to say I have never seen the 1972 film, "Deep Throat."  I don't mean to equate it with something like "The Ring Cycle," but, like the Wagner work, it is something I have always missed and feel I should experience before leaving this planet.  Though I think I can survive without it.

                                          Still, it was groundbreaking at the time.  Linda Lovelace, who made the movie and the phrase, a household word, died in 2,002, and now Harry Reems, the film's male lead, has left us.

                                            What is it with these iconic 70s porno stars???????? They do these films, showing, literally, everything they have got, then they get old, and retreat to the suburbs.  What is going on here??????????  Linda Lovelace ended up as a Long Island housewife, and some sort of churchgoing mom!!!!!!!!!!  Some might call that a miracle!!!!!!!!!!  I call it phony baloney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Sure, you get outta the biz when you begin to age, and things begin to..um...droop, but to diss your historic making past is hypocritical.  One doesn't have to go around proclaiming to the world one was in a porno classic (if one was!!!!!!!), but, if the subject comes up, don't  be afraid to admit it!!!!!!!!!!  Let's face it, Reems and Lovelace's mothers probably saw the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    How about Marilyn Chambers?  Almost the same thing!!!  Becomes iconic through "Behind The Green Door" (which, I believe, Reems was also in!!!!!!!!) then tries to go mainstream, from everything to a pop singer and a Vice Presidential candidate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       At 65, Harry lived the longest.  His path included real estate, marriage, even some New York stage work.  And to think his appearance in 'Throat' was akin to that of Shirley MacLaine in "The Pajama Game"--Reems was the film's lighting man; on the day of the shoot, the originally cast leading man did not show up, Harry stepped in, and the rest is history.  Just like Shirley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Which just goes to show, darlings, no matter what field, it pays to be an understudy!!!!!!!!!!!  You just never know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, What If I Were Vincente Minnelli??????????

                                 Just in case some of you out there may not know, the famous scenes in "Valley Of The Dolls," when Neely 0'Hara catches her husband, Ted Casablanca, with his "arms around that English actor, and their tongues down each other's throats," and then in their pool with contract player Carmen Carver, were inspired by Judy Garland, in real life coming home from a hard day at MGM, and finding Vincente locked in consequence with their pool cleaner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Now, as you know, gay men the world over want to be BARBRA, some even want to be LIZA, but who on earth would want to be Vincente Minnelli????????????

                                     And you have to wonder--as gay as all get out as Vincente was (despite him being one of the homeliest men in Hollywood!!!!!!!!) --how did he manage to make it with Judy Garland???????
A turkey baster, perhaps?????????   I am sure that trick was tried back in those days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        But, when it came to texture, design and art, who wouldn't want to be Vincente Minnelli???????   When it comes to gay films of quality and perfection, "Gigi" has to be at the top of the list!!!!!!!!!  It's what we all want,.darlings--to wear gorgeous Cecil Beaton gowns, being waited on by  the likes of Louis Jourdan, and drinking champagne, while singing about it!!!!!!!  Who could ask for anything more????????  The argument could be stated that the "Gigi" fantasies of gay men evolved into the Gay Party Circuit!  And it would not have been possible without Vincente Minnelli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Of course, when it comes to screen perfection, there isn't a frame of  the entire film of "Meet Me In St. Louis" one could quibble over.  If I were Vincente, darlings, the only thing I would have changed (you know this was coming, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is that I would have cast myself as Tootie, so I could do the famous Christmas/Snowmen scene!!!!!!!!!!!  Not that Margaret O'Brien was anything less than brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But how I have always wanted to play it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Vincente, of course, started out as a window dresser and stage designer.
I was lucky if I could nail together stage sets. Which I sometimes did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 If only I had been better at drawing, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Day Of Remembrance, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 You may recall, darlings, my posting an "In Memoriam" several days back for a lovely and loving woman named Beatrice Friedman, who died six months after her 100th birthday, on March 18!!!!!!!!!

                                    Well, yesterday, on a cold, clouded, snowy early afternoon, almost as somber as the above, Bea was laid to rest.

                                        It was my pleasure and privilege to be part of this group, thanks to my beloved Monsieur, for whom I was there to show my love for Bea and for him, as I guided him through this difficult transition.

                                          The ceremony was short, stark, and haunting. And, when it was done, we all returned to our respective homes, glad but emotionally drained.

                                            May the starkness of that scene yesterday dissipate as Spring comes forth, flowers bloom, the sun shines longer, and Bea's resting place becomes what her presence on Earth was--a place of warmth!!!!!!!!!!!!  It will happen, darlings, I promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              But what a day!  Then the Bridgeview Diner (where the service was so spotty, I thought we were going to have another Delemarchier incident!!!!!)  did not serve Meat Lasagna!!!!!!!!!  What would Liza say????????????????????

                                                 I should have stuck with Moo Shu Pork, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Ask You, Have You Heard Of This Guy???????

                                       I mean, darlings, what do I know? But, when one is the Raving Queen, and discovers something that apparently others, or a segment of the populace out there, has known about, it is time to reveal.  So, here is how I came to discover Greg Scarnici!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         First off, can you believe he is from Jamaica, Queens???????  Where????????  Because, let me tell you, I have been out in Jamaica from time to time (remember I DID live in Queens for awhile, a time which I am increasingly coming to block out!!!!!!!!!) and nothing as promising as this ever walked the streets there!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not even close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Do they even have an Italian section??????????

                                          I happened upon Greg when I was on YouTube watching Christine Pedi (whom you have heard about on here, loves) doing her Liza Minnelli impersonations.  They actually give me comfort and inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Somewhere, off to the right, where the other selections are, I noticed some kind of parody with Greg.  It had to do with straight men seeking gay tricks--or so I thought.  Anyway, Greg is some kind of writer, parodist, filmmaker and performance artist--an all-around Renaissance man.  He obviously has a mind!  And his package is not bad, either!!!!!!!!!  No, girls, I do not know if he is single, but, if anyone can find out it is I, so as soon as I do, I will relay the info on here, to those of you who may have the hots for Greg.

                                              I have to admit he is not bad to look at.  And he is talented.  However, one of his projects made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                I can't believe I am only learning this, after nine years, but,apparently, back in 2004, Greg and some cohorts did a parody of the immensely popular comedy show, "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," entitled "Straight Plan For The Gay Man."  It was about a group of guys who are--now get this--doing to makeovers with gay men, so that they can pass for straight.

                                                  Back in the 70s, when homophobia was rampant (as I can attest!!) this series might have been public serving.  Even at its time, it was dated and passe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    But, more to the point, it is downright IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    The first thing necessary would be to devoid the average gay man of TASTE!!!!!!!!!!   This simply cannot be done!  Gay men are born with taste in their testosterone, which is why they come out ahead on sophistication and artistic/fashion sense!!!!!!!!!  It was like God decreed some part of the populace had to have aesthetics, AND keep the population growth down, so Gay men were decreed such!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       The next step would be to make certain, shall we say, "effete," Gay men more masculine. Sweeties, let me tell you a story!!!!!!!!! You just cannot tell!!!!!!!!!!!!  Back in the 80's, one Sunday afternoon, I got all duded up, and went to the famous Sunday Brunch at the Spike Bar on the West Side Highway.  Now, I don't think the Spike is there, anymore: that whole West Side Highway era has passed, though I believe the Eagle is still around there, and God forbid if you ever have to go to the bathroom there, because, from what I hear tell, it is always otherwise occupied!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wonder who is paying whom????????  Or maybe Greg Kelly, the more women are on to him, drops in there surreptitiously, just to get his rocks off??????????  I wouldn't be surprised!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           The point is, when things were in vogue, and I went, you would not believe what I saw.  The brunch was actually tasty, despite it being served in the grungiest atmosphere, this side of Julius' Bar, on Waverly Place!!!!!!!!!!!! But these big, muscular guys!!!!!!!!!!  A bunch of petunias, discussing crochet and needlework!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, this 2004 show thought it would "straighten" gay men??????  I'd like to see them try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               Apparently, the audience held my opinion, because this series (on Comedy Central) lasted for only 3--yes, darlings, 3!!!!!!!!! -- episodes!!!!!!!!!!  And not that Greg advocates such nonsense at all; wait till you see "Sex In Drag," where he spoofs, in drag, Madonna's book of that title--"SEX!"

                                                                 So, girls, take a look at Greg!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know you will want to!!!!!!!!!!  And, Greg, if you are out there, take a look at this blog!  I mean, like Christine/Liza says to "Lady Gaga"--"We should cut a record--a single!"  And if you are doing something LIVE, like in town, darling, do let me know, so I can tell my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   The things one can (ahem!) pick up!!!!!!!!!!!  Don't say I don't keep all of my girls, informed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                      Kisses for the Weekend, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like The Song In "Chicago" Says, "She Had It Coming!!!!!!!!!!"

                             Just look at this, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you believe how nasty that Mothra is being to our beloved Gojira?????????  Mothra has had what I am about to do coming for a LONG time--so this week it is time to give her the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              That slant-eyed, flying Miss, Mothra!!!!!!!!!!!  Thinks she's so powerful, living on Infant Island, being waited on hand and foot by two tiny girls, who beat each other out for the lead in "Memoirs Of A Geisha!"  Back in 1962, when Mothra ("Mosura" in Japan!!!!!!!) made her screen debut, she thought she was the hottest thing to come flying out of Toho since Rodan!!!!!!!!!  Even Rodan has more class than Mothra!!!!!!!!!  And Gojira agrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Mothra is so lazy she has to be coaxed out of her egg from within a rock by an old native man with Dementia!!!!!!!!!!!   Here, Gojira has been an international star, darlings, for almost a decade, then Mothra appears, thinking she is Hot Stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!  Hey, Mothra, I got news for you--if it wasn't for Gojira paving the way, you would never have seen the lights of the camera!!!!!!!!  You should be damned grateful to him, because, if you don't watch out, you are going to be deported from Infant Island to Monster Island, where the unemployed Toho creations await their turns between gigs!!!!!!!!!  Only Mothra and Gojira get their own personal islands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Pick on someone your own size, you big, flying moth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Someday, Gojira is going to hurl a giant moth ball at you, which will have you reeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Because he IS the Greatest (not to mention BIGGEST) Star!  You don't see BARBRA messing with him, do you????????????????

                                   So, quit flapping your wings, you big flying bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!  You may be Bitch Of The Week, but Gojira is always first as the Star In  Our Hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Go fry an egg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!