Girls, Where The Hell Is The Lamb???????????????????????

                                  You know the saying, dolls--"March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb."

                                   Well, forget about that!   It is supposed to rain today, and we have to travel into the city for a nosh with Uncle Ernest, which, I guess, will be this month's climactic event.

                                       And what an event!

                                      As far as lamb days, they were few and far between.  I could count them on the fingers of one hand, and not get to five!

                                       But the Bay Ridge St. Patrick's Day Parade went on, with our wonderful star, Seamus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He also celebrated his twelfth birthday this year, and is looking great for his age.

                                       You all met my new friend, Nicholas.  And I promise you, in posts to come, there will be news about he and Miss Kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         We went to the theater twice in one month, after what seemed a cultural drought.  I was especially disappointed by how the aptly named Fiasco Theatre Company handled the beloved "Merrily We Roll Along," but that was compensated by the fun, cuteness, full orchestra, and cast professionalism of David's birthday show, "The Prom."

                                            Amy Sedaris and Liza Minnelli celebrated birthdays, and we their fans saluted them.  And, mark my words, I may have discovered, already, the Book Of The Year in "Big Bang" by David Bowman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            All in all, not a bad March.  Can you believe we are already a quarter of the way through 2019??????????????????????

                                             As for April, I will return, even if I have to maneuver.  Though that should not be a problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              So, until, as Dionne Warwick says, we are just "April Fools," I will see you soon, and, rest assured, you are never forgotten or far from my regard!

                                               Cheers, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Just LOVE Miss Swan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  When it comes to spinsterhood, darlings, Miss Bunny Swan takes it to a new level.  And when it comes to portraying a Eurasian (or whatever she is) she outdoes even  Gale Sondergaard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I discovered her the other day, while searching for something on YouTube, and I watched the gay bar entry.  But the one you have to see, girls, is when she goes into the candy store!
Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    She is played by Alex Borstein, who, amazingly enough, does the voice of Lois Griffin on "Family Guy."  What talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   But Miss Swan is fun to watch, but I would not want to deal with her.

                                   Though, actually, she reminds me of someone I know!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Here are two Miss Swan entries--the gay bar visit, and a parody of the  movie "Black Swan."  You are going to love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Miss Swan is comic genius, darlings!  And I should know!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Want A Pair Of These!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not care if they are heels, I would learn to walk in them, just to wear this stunning footwear.  I bet ANNA would approve!!!!!!

"Alice In Wonderland" is one of my favorite books, and Disney's 1951 cartoon adaptation my favorite of all his animated films. So, it is no surprise these shoes should appeal to me directly.

Aren't these gorgeous?  I just cannot wait to wear them!

The perfect fashion item for Spring!  I will be the hit of the next tea party!

And, of course, the place to wear them is at Alice's Tea Cup, at 102 West 73rd Street!

See you there, darlings!

SVU's "Blackout" Should Have Been Called "Dancing With The Wolves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                   You will understand the play on words more, after reading the complete post.

                                    "Blackout," the last 'SVU' episode aired, was almost a standout job, thanks to the standout work of two guest stars--the always wonderful Callie Thorne, as DA Nikki Staines, and Titus Welliver as attorney Rob Miller.

                                       The beginning was typical.  A woman is raped at a prestigious party.  But the party turns out to be one for cops, and the victim is District Attorney, and prosecutor, Nikki Staines, played by Thorne with a passion that was going for the Emmy gold.  The viewer really felt her anger for what was done to her, and that it was most likely done by someone at the party, meaning a cop.

                                         However, the minute Titus Welliver enters the story as Rob Miller, I knew he was the culprit.  He just oozed corporate corruption out of every pore.  Rob is one of those workers who knows where all the bodies are buried, knows everyone's secrets, so he holds things over everyone, resorting to even murder, if threatened far enough.

                                           Thorne's and Welliver's acting stole the show.  As good as Ice-T, Kelli Giddish, and Peter Scanavino are, and were, they paled in this episode beside these two top notch guest stars.

                                             The episode's highlight--and, really the only reason to see the episode--was the climactic scene between Welliver, and Peter Gallagher, again on hand, to play Deputy Chief William Dobbs.  I like Gallagher's way of playing this character, with just the right amount of ambivalence, so one is never sure whose side he is on, at any time.

                                               The scene between he and Miller is staged at the Queens Museum, in the panoramic model of New York City, used so poetically in the film "Wonderstruck," while, here, coming off as sinister.

                                                 Dobbs, of course, is wearing the wire.  Miller, who fears no one because of his power, admits to having sex with Staines, saying it was consensual, even if she was drunk. He also slips to wanting her cell phone, to gain access to her secrets.  He alludes to the possibility of eliminating Staines by killing her, should the situation warrant it.

                                                  Just as Miller suspects Dobbs of wearing a wire,  Olivia and Company barge in and arrest Miller.  Reference to some memo regarding Olivia is mentioned as a threat by Miller, and Dobbs admits he kept one copy, which he gives to Olivia, and the episode ends with her reading it, while the viewer has no idea what it says!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Will it ever be revealed???????

                                                  But before Miller is taken away, he delivers a beautifully written monologue that could be used by future acting students.  It involves the difference between wolves and lambs, hence my play on words.

                                                  Miller explains how his father was a store keeper, of the old variety. And he was a lamb.  Once a week, mobsters or whomever would come and clean him out.  One visit, he could not cough up the money, and so the gangsters took his sister, whom, I guess, worked in the store, into the back, and presumably raped her.  Understandably horrible.  Miller resents his father for doing nothing about it, and I do too, except I understand, had he intervened, perhaps they all would have been killed.

                                                   What happened to his sister was horrible, and nothing more is mentioned of how she recovered, or whether or not she did.  But after this story, he delivers a chilling line--

             "That's when I decided to run with the wolves."

                What a grade A bastard!  Haul him off and let the inmates have a go at him!

                 But a great performance by Welliver.

                 As usual, in this scene, Olivia delivers the final line--"No one helps the wolf, when it is bleeding."

                  Could the writers please help this woman to keep her mouth shut???????????

                  So, check this one out for two top flight--so seldom seen these days--guest performances!!!!!!!!!!!

Do You Know The Defintion Of A Donut, Darlings????????????????????????????

                         This post is not only for all of you, my dear readers, but for my beloved David.

                          In just two weeks, he ate three donuts this month!  Three!

                          I have always liked donuts, since I was a kid, and am not adverse to eating them.  These days, I am lucky if I have one donut a year.  Donuts are just not on my food radar.

                           As for David, well that is it for him this year, concerning donuts.  One might be OK.
But three???????????????

                            Why am I so down on donuts?  Do you know the definition of a donut, dears?

                             I will tell you, right now!

                             A donut is a bullet to the heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            That is right, girls!  Even Baby Gojira, and Chloe agree with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Again, I am not saying one donut a year will hurt you.

                             But constant consumption is not good for anyone.  Except donut sellers!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Remember--A donut is a bullet to the heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Have a good day, dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"They Recognize You At Once; Hello, Deborah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     By now, girls, you have seen those awful Betfair Online Casino ads, emanating from, of course, New Jersey!!!!!!!!!!!!  As I have said, all the women dealers are prostitutes, and dress like them.

                                     But their victims are so dumb!  Especially this Afro American woman, named Deborah, who delivers the post's titled line.  Deborah, honey what is wrong with you and your life?  This is all you can think of to do, gambling on a computer laptop?

                                       Hon, expand that Afro, become an activist, and read Black Literature, like "The Autobiography Of Malcom X," or the collected works of Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, and Angela Davis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Girl, what's wrong with you?  If you live in New Jersey, that is part of the problem, right there!  If you continue gambling with these ho's, they will suck the financial blood from your veins--or bank account. And if you can't pay, someone will come and kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Or, and this might be worse, you could end up living in Camden, or in The Bronx, like the folk in Adrian Nicole LeBlanc's book, "Random Family."

                                         Girls, when you see "Deborah" on that ad, you are looking at one of the dumbest women in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Shut down this whole Betfair operation at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             At least "Deborah" shows some semblance of class!  More than can be said for the others shown, who vary from prostitutes to drug dealers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         

"The Less Than Perfect Daughter" Has A More Imperfect Mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I don't know why, girls, but I am on this cycle of old TV social issue movies, especially those about child abuse.  Now, as some of you on here know, I did not have the greatest adolescence, but no one abused me!!!!!!!!!!!  I would not have allowed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   When  it comes to TV Mothers From Hell, none can surpass De Ann Mears, as Alice Curtis, in 1976's "The Loneliest Runner."  That film was based on a portion of Michael Landon's autobiography, and Alice was based on his own mother, Peggy.

                                      In real life, the father walked out on them.  Peggy doted on Michael's sister, so, while he went his own way to success, the two clung to each other in some symbiotic relationship, straight out of Tennessee Williams.  I hope Landon did not give them a cent from his success, but my guess is he was too compassionate for that.

                                        As for Alice, she should have been belted in the face, and thrown out, with her cheap, housewife clothes, into the street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Which brings us to Jenny O'Hara as Irene Harmon.  Jenny, as an actress, does a good job, but four minutes into the story she becomes an object of viewer hate.

                                            She is emotionally abusive to her daughter.  She is so disgusted with what she made of her life--having Melissa (Robyn Lively; any relation to Blake?), a husband who walks out on her, and a live in guy named Jack (Ernie Lively; Robyn's father?) whose patience is put to the test, because he can't stand the mother's treatment of the daughter, either.

                                           The mother so wants for the daughter not to make the mistakes she did that she vetoes any talent or interest her daughter may have.  She belittles her constantly, calling her stupid and dumb.  Melissa has this free spirit friend, Liz, probably a year older, whom her mother sees as a bad influence.  The mother turns out to be right, but not before Melissa makes that discovery for herself, after she walks in selling drugs...or herself??????????  Maybe both?????????????

                                              At least Melissa was allowed to make this discovery from herself.  And, she made the sensible choice--she got Liz out of her life, fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                This was an "ABC Afterschool Special." from 1991--remember those?
It ends on an affirmative note, as they all do, but I don't think things will be comfortable for Melissa  until she goes away to college.

                                                   Meanwhile, someone should drug this mother--or all parents of this type--with tranquilizers.

                                                    Ignorance, in some cases, is an excuse.  But projecting your own mistakes onto your child is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Irene Harmon is some piece of work!  She and the witch from "Snow White" could share an afternoon tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do Not Judge This Book By Its Cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Do not get me wrong, darlings, Donna Everhart has written a compelling first novel.  The reader just has to know what he or she is in for,  While the cover, and some reviews, recall Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Lives Of Bees" this is not the sort of sweet story that book was.

                                         Set mostly in Alabama, the story is Southern, but not Gothic.  Dixie Dupree is a child with a creative imagination, and the resilience of a pre-pubescent Scarlett O' Hara.  She has to be.

                                           She has an older brother, A. J,  Their parents' marriage is falling apart.  Dixie, at 11,  wants to know and understand what is going on, but her mother's response is often abusive, and her father's passive and drunk.  They do not understand the tragic circumstances leading up to her parents' marriage, resulting in Dixie's wanting to understand, but being undermined by the adults around her.

                                           When the father suffers a tragic accident, Uncle Ray, the mother's brother, from New Hampshire, where they were raised, comes to live with them and help out.  He does more damage than good, as he slowly begins to move in on Dixie.  That's right.  You heard me.  And as Raymond weaves his web of friendship, trust, abuse, and threats, Dixie does her best to fight him off--making her atypical--but falls into the fear of not telling anyone for fear of harm or disbelief.

                                              It is when the family makes a trip to New Hampshire that the truth slowly unravels, and the surviving family is given a chance to heel.  Dixie is resilient, but will need help!  Uncle Ray gets his, but not enough, as far as I am concerned.

                                                Donna Everhart writes a compelling tale of the consequences of hiding from the truth, of the dynamics of child sexual abuse between abuser and abused, and what to watch out for.  There is a surprise twist at the very end, though part of it I suspected.

                                                   This novel held me chair bound.  To be sure, it is not Flannery O'Connor, or Carson McCullers--what is?--but Donna Everhart presented a family saga I could not tear away from.  She scores on her first try; so much so, I want to read her second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      Best of luck to you, Donna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         

Happy Birthday, Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   One of the first things I do, on here, each morning, before I start writing, is checking sites like IMDB or Playbill.  The film site I always check for people's birthdays, many of whom I do not even know, and, God forbid, they should forget  the Centennial Birthday of Jennifer Jones, which was March 2 of this year.  Most folk, these days, probably have no idea of who she is, or was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, imagine my surprise, when I discovered that today is the birthday of one we all love....Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Amy turns 58 today!  Can you believe it?  She does not look over 35!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Happy Birthday, Amy!  Today, have someone--like Chassie--craft for you, and bake you a cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And celebrate with Ruth, Esther, and Artemis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        No wonder Amy did an Anniversary show this week!   Hers was coming up!

                                        Many Happy Returns, Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Trash Bitch Makes Mama Rose Seem Like Mary Poppins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Since a lot of running around to doctors was done yesterday, by both of us, this means it is time for Belated Bitch Of The Week. And Machelle Hobson, of Arizona, is the winner.

                                       Even as a stage mother, she is some kind of failure.  Mama Rose got her daughters into vaudeville, top flight burlesque, and Broadway.  The best this piece of trash can do is.....You Tube?

                                        It seems there was a channel, and show called "Fantastic Adventures," featuring the Hobson children.  However, it is not clear if all of the children were hers.  Two of her adult sons, Ryan and Lackey, were arrested for abuse, but it was the biological daughter, an adult, who informed police of the abuse.

                                       The abuse was directed at the smaller children, who, when failing to perform, and flubbing lines, were immersed in ice baths, sprayed with pepper spray, and locked in closets for days, without food or bathroom breaks.

                                        Intolerable!  Smack this bitch across the face!  You can bet these kids will never want to set foot in show biz again,  And I don't blame them!  Not even Neely had it this bad!!!!!!!!!!!  But, as for Patty Duke and The Rosses, that is another story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          She also beat them with wire hangers, a cue taken from "The Joan Crawford Book Of Child Rearing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                          Child actors have it tough. Amateurs have it worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           This bitch's show biz career is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Hopefully, the children will be taken from her.

                                            And she leaves this stinkin' show.....to jail....with NO dignity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Even In The Heat Of Florida, Or Louisiana, Where It Is Supposed To Be Set, Blythe's Hair Remains Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  How does she do it, girls?  I have been trying to find out, for years!

                                                  I vaguely recall when this film was first aired on HBO, back in 1990, but I had never seen it till recently.  Before "The Boys Of St. Vincent," in 1991, "Primal Fear," in 1996, and "Spotlight," in 2015, this film tackled sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, early on.  And it is, even for this time, disturbing and creepy.

                                                   Blythe and Keith Carradine are a nice Catholic couple, Peter and Emmeline Guitry, with three children, Robbie (Michael Faustino), Justine (TONY Winner Daisy Eagan, from "The Secret Garden," and Sabine (Crystal McKellar).

                                                   When I saw Bob Gunton, ten years after "Evita," was cast as Monsignor Beauvais, I thought he would be the villain of the piece.  But that turns out to be Father Frank Aubert, played disturbingly by the gifted actor David Stratharin.

                                                       The drama is fierce, with Blythe fiercely protective, her husband in doubt until he is certain, and Stratharin just creeping along.  And how young, almost 30 years now, they all seemed, then!!!!!!!!!!  Guess we all did, dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         What this film does best is lay out the dynamics for church child abuse. It shows how these sickos go after the victims, and how parents, fearful for their children, should watch out for such specifics to avoid the Guitrys' situation.

                                                            Michael Faustino, as Robbie, plays the perfect victim, sensitive, withdrawn, vulnerable, and with an inordinate desire to please everyone--school, his parents, his siblings, etc.  The film opens with his First Communion, but then when Father Auber shows up, and announces to the family he wants to train Robbie to be an altar boy, I said "Uh-oh!"  And I was right!
Robbie may not be the brightest; unlike the others, he is slow to catch on, and gets bullied for it.  Aubert champions him, asking the Guitrys permission to take Robbie and the boys on a camping trip, and to have him stay over Saturday nights at the rectory before Mass.  Say, what?  I would question this right away, but the Guitrys are portrayed as Catholics with no reason to distrust this priest, and the Church.  They have no reason not to--at this point.

                                                               But the audience sees what is going on.  In a disturbingly shadow light sequence on the camping trip, Aubert is shown consoling a sleepless Robbie by getting into bed with him--but he undresses first.  The creepiest scene, for me, was in the confessional, when the priest asks Robbie to come into his section--unheard of.  Were I that kid, I would have asked "Why?"  Believe me, it is not part of the sacrament.  And with that open door, hand beckoning, and a vulnerable Robbie walking in, the point is made.

                                                                Things get more graphic when Robbie experiences rectal bleeding, which is attributed to a tear from diet.  Really?  The first person Robbie blurts out his secret to is Justine--he talks about the priest playing with his "pee pee."  The Guitrys are made aware, but don't know what to think,  Then other families come forward, with similar claims by their boys.  But where one might think there is unity, there is derision.  The other families are bought off by a sum of $200K each from the Church, and the Guitrys fight it, becoming outcasts and mavericks.  I rooted for them!

                                                                   In an impressive performance, veteran Jack Warden plays attorney Claude Fortier, who defends Robbie.  But there is a grueling scene where he gives the boy an idea of cross examination, and he breaks down, especially when  stating how the priest, in the child's words, forced him into oral and anal sex.

                                                                      I found the movie's end uncertain.  Gunton, as the Monsignor, comes around, and has Aubert gone and arrested.  Robbie takes the stand to tell the truth, and the film blacks out, but I still doubted whether he had enough strength to tell the truth.

                                                                         So, the outcome I did not find quite satisfactory.  There is also the question of Dylan Baker's character of Father Delambre--good actor, fine performance--who definitely had a history of abusing boys, and may have done so in tandem with Aubert, as he is seen burning pictures of he and Aubert together.  So, he is still on the premises, so where does that leave this church?  And why wasn't he dealt with?????????????

                                                                             But this was probably a pioneering production for its time, on dealing with this issue alone, and, in terms of its time,  it succeeded.

                                                                              The sunnier days of "Going My Way," and "The Bells Of St. Mary" are gone forever.  But I don't think it was this film, good as it is, that signaled the death knell.

                                                                                It was a little film, back in 1973, that also caused a big fuss.

                                                                                 It was called "The Exorcist!"

Slow, And Creepy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I had never heard of Sarah Moss, or "Ghost Wall," but when  Miriam, at Three Lives, recommended it, I knew it was worth reading.

                                        And it was.  At a 130 pages, one could almost call this a novella, but one that starts out slowly, but builds to a heightened atmosphere of creepiness, with an explosive dramatic climax.

                                        Imagine, the novel starts off having me think we are in the same territory as Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery."  Then the reader veers into "Lord Of The Flies" territory, as well as M. Night Shyamalan's "The Village."  There is even just a hint of Valeria Luiselli's "Lost Children Archive" thrown in.

                                           I loved it.  The slow pace creates tension, rather than boredom, and then things come apart and explode,  I loved all 130 pages of this novel.

                                           Everyone knows a book can't be judged by its cover. Nor should it be judged by its length.

                                            And "Ghost Wall" proves this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Up To My Expectations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          There was much to anticipate, for a reader, such as I, who loved Ottessa Moshfegh's chilling first novel, "Eileen."  Though this recent work received mixed reviews, when it came out, it earned a place on "The New York Times 100 Most Notable Books List."  But it did not turn out to be at all what I was expecting.

                                             Just from the cover, I was expecting a different time period--say of a Grecian era.  Instead, I get the tale of a nameless (this gimmick of the nameless narrator has got to stop; no one worked it as well as Daphne Du Maurier in "Rebecca," and that is where it should have ended!) narrator, an Upper East Side woman, Columbia graduate, art gallery worker, wealthy parents--you know, the whole package--who suffers ennui, and decides to spend a year of her life sleeping.  The cocktail mixtures she uses to put her into this state would amaze a pharmacist, let alone the  reader, that she would survive.  Next to her kvetching, is her friend Reva, whose problems start from hailing from Long Island, and, like all desperate suburbanites who come to New York (and I was one!) want desperately to assume the cosmopolitan persona they have invented for themselves.  At least, she is not checking out.  Having recently come off the depressing "When All Is Said," I was afraid the heroine was going to take the same path, but when she emerges from her year, it really does not look like she has anything to show for it.  What a bummer!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The novel is only 288 pages. It starts out promisingly, but conveys the ennui of its characters so well, the reader feels their pain, and by more than halfway through, the book becomes a tedious slog, which I wish could have ended earlier.

                                                 Skip this one, dolls.  If you want to read Moshfegh at her best, read "Eileen."  It has better character and narrative development.

                                                  Her current novel is one big snooze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Did You See Amy's 15th Show Anniversary Last Night??????????????????

                               Darlings, it was so much fun.  Amy at her colorful best, with a plethora of guest stars, including a hilariously funny comic turn by Susan Sarandon!  Who would have thought she could do comedy?  Oh, I know she was in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," but that was 45 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The only one I was disappointed not to see was Nutmeg!  But Patty Hogg, her husband, Leslie, and Ronnie Vino, the wine lady, dropped by.  And Artemis, Ruth, and Esther, from the woods!!!!!!!!!!  I have never seen Esther more personable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                The opening and closing featured a chorus of Amy regulars singing a rewritten version of "If They Could See Me Now," from "Sweet Charity!"  It was clever, and wonderful, but I was taken by surprised when the fellow on the right end turned out to be Cole Escola, who, in drag, plays Chassie Tucker!!!!!!!!!  Who phoned in her congrats to Amy, as she was in prison!  I could tell Cole was Chassie, when the camera zeroed in on his eyes, but. I have to say, he is better looking, as Chassie.

                                  A real man, who can pass as a woman!  And Amy's show was a real charmer, last night!  If you have a chance to see it, dolls, don't miss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once Again, Seamus Was The Star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Yesterday was the Bay Ridge St. Patrick's Day Parade, and, as usual, Seamus, everyone's favorite Bay Ridge Labradoodle, was the star.  Seamus was at the top of his game yesterday, dressed in his customary finery, but riding in a very noticeably stunning red car.  He turned to the side, where we--David, our neighbor, Jennifer, our friend Judy, and myself--were standing, and flashed his great, big, loving Seamus grin at us!  I was so happy; it was like he was telling me not to worry, things would be OK, and he looked just great.

                                     I am telling you, despite all the talent assembled, nothing topped this moment.  The cheers for Seamus matched that of a Manhattan ticker tape parade!  And deservedly show!

                                       It would not be St. Pat's without Seamus, and it was so nice having him there to greet everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         A Happy St. Pat's to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Love to you and yours, Seamus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All Of The Period Charm Of The Hoboken Train Station Is Being Destroyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                What an appalling thing to discover, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  And if our Saturday trip had not been screwed up, we never would have discovered this.

                                 Saturday, March 23, after several delays, David and I were both well enough to make our trek out to Morris Plains, to see our friends, Lynda and Marilyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     We followed our usual trek, until we reached Penn Station.  It seemed, at first, like the train we needed was cancelled, but, then, David saw a sign, directing us to go back to the PATH at 34th Street, take it to the Hoboken Station, and it would leave from there.  Allegedly, this was just for that day, due to some Amtrak accident/derailment, the night before, which, interestingly enough, we never heard about, on the news.  So, we had to backtrack, and take the train to the Hoboken station, but when we got there, and though we made the train, I was appalled by what I saw.

                                       This station had an antiquated period charm, where people would visit it just to gaze on its period beauty. I am sure it was used in many films, but the two I remember best were "Funny Girl," in 1968, and "Julie And Julia," in 2009--oh, my God!  That is already ten years ago!!!!!!!

                                         I used to know the exact spot where BARBRA stood, and did the opening section of "Don't Rain On My Parade," with Anne Francis, in tow, as Georgia James!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I would, on occasional visits, go there, and do it myself!  I am sure other Theater Queens did the same thing.  Surely, I could not have been the only one!

                                           Alas, that spot is now gone, so there is no where, no mark or indicator, of where this celebrated film sequence took place!  A plaque, at least!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            But, no, the whole thing is being dissembled, and what will be in its place but some dumb, charmless futuristic looking thing, along the lines of The Vessel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               To hell with that, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Hey, BARBRA!  Here I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meet My New Friend, Nicholas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Nicholas holds court at Apple Tree Natural Market, on 7613 Third Avenue in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.  Now, I am allergic to cats, but I never fail to give Nicholas an affectionate part or scratch under his chin or behind his ears.   He is very relaxed, and deigns to accept all the attention, but be aware, he is doing you a favor.  He is probably the store's silent partner.

                             Last month, Nicholas began sharing the back space with Paws Truly owner, Deidre Butler, and everyone's favorite canine, Seamus.  He has had some adjustment problems, but things seem to be looking up.

                              But Nicholas, for all his docility, has a wild thing going.  At the back, near Paws Truly, is a door, leading to the yard, adjoining the house behind it.  From there, emerges a feline fatale, known as Miss Kitty, who not only pursues Nicholas romantically--while he plays hard to get, with just a flick of his tail--but sneaks to the back bathroom, where Nicholas' food and litter box is kept.  She steals his food!  Hmmm...."Cigarette holder/She wigs me/Over her shoulder/ She digs me/ Out cattin'/That Satin Doll."

                               Miss Kitty is some Satin Doll, I am telling you!  She is trying to ensnare Nicholas, even while she is out cattin' with the other males in the neighborhood.  I love Nicholas!  He deserves better than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Nevertheless, as things progress, I will keep you posted.  This may emerge into a new column called "The Further Adventures Of Nicholas And Miss Kitty!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    Imagine, a feline serial!  Just like Dickens did, with "Nicholas Nickelby."

                                     I love you, Nicholas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Disappointing Trash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               When I saw the cover of this book, advertising it as " 'Single White Female' on steroids," I thought I had found the perfect read.  Since my last book, "When All Is Said," was so disturbingly depressing, I thought a trash thriller, and a real good one, from the sound of things, would be the perfect antidote.

                                   It wasn't.

                                   Yes, the novel actually references the movie "Single White Female."  It also deals with two girls, rooming in a Chicago apartment. When one of them vanishes, Quinn, the roommate, goes on a search for Esther.  Meanwhile, in a small town in Michigan, a mysterious young woman, called "Pearl", surfaces.

                                    These two plot threads turn out to be connected.  But, the book is overwritten, and annoyingly so, by two narrative voices, Quinn and Alex.  I did not like Alex's chapters; I just found him stupid and annoying.  He almost asked for what he got.  The reader has to keep going back and forth between them, until things come together in the last fifty pages.  And when it does, my reaction was just a big, "Ho hum!"

                                      Compared to the recent "The Couple Next Door," this was not worthy of publication.  I hope a movie is not made of this.  It is not nearly as clever as, say, "A Simple Favor."

                                       I cannot speak for the author's other work, but my advice to thriller fans is to cross this one off your list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Cheaper thrills can come from Janis Joplin, with Big Brother And The Holding Company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!          

Happy Bitch, Not So Happy NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                There is a charitable organization called "Survivors Of The Shield."  Its cause is wonderful--to provide financial comfort to the families of NYPD officers slain while on duty.

                                 Lorraine Shanley, aged 68, was the treasurer of this group.  But, for seven years, this bitch, who is this week's winner of The Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, has been living high off the hog.  She has pocketed an estimated $410K for herself, spending it on private school tuition for her grandchildren, dental expenses, legal fees to get a son out of trouble--great family, right??????--not to mention designer clothes, make-up, nail and hair treatments.

                                  And--most infuriating of all--on Barbra Streisand tickets!  What an offense to BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!  If I were Babs, I would go after this woman, myself.

                                  Of course, she comes from Staten Island!  What is the deal over there?  As I have written, before, in my home town the White Trash area was called Goat Alley.  It seems, to me, Staten Island is one big Goat Alley.  Most of it is made up of landfills made of garbage and shit!!!!!!!!!!!   And then there is this kind of behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Again, this woman is the reason Salem had the Witchcraft trials!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  She may look good, now, for 68, but that won't matter once she gets to prison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And Lorraine, hon, make no mistake about it--you ARE going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 'SVU' Episode, Aired March 14th, Was Twisted, But Contrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Let me say I do not know what is happening to 'SVU.'  They are getting lazy in the production department, and it seems like now we are getting shows every other week, rather than every week.

                                       "Missing" was aired on March 14.  Now, last night's episode, "Blackout" was aired in weekly fashion, but now the following, entitled, "Dearly Beloved," is not until April 4.

                                          Which is bad for us viewers who enjoy the show--including Baby Gojira, who gets very excited!!!!--but good for me, as a writer, who catch myself up with these shows.

                                            Here is the thing about "Missing,"--there was recently an item in the news about human remains found in a back yard in Astoria.  'SVU' ran with this, practically before it hit the media.

                                            The whole thing started with the abduction of a sweet little girl named Bailey (Violet McGraw), who was being raised by two gay daddies (Sean McDermott and Ryan Castro).  I was certain they were going to go with some homophobic nut, or group, who did not believe children should be raised by same sex parents.  Makes sense to me.  But the plot was far more disturbing and insidious.

                                              Remember Chloe Webb, from the 1986 film, "Sid And Nancy?"  My God, that was 33 years ago. She played both a tragic and evil mother named Rowan Mauer.  Rowan lived in Queens, with her husband, who was an alcoholic loser, and walked out on her.  But not before having a child, named Emerson, and, during an argument when she and hubby were at the top of the stairs, and Emerson behind him, the child managed to fall down the stairs, and break his neck.  I think both parents should have been charged with murder by negligence, and that is what they thought would happen to them.  So, Emerson is buried by Rowan, in the back yard, and forgotten.  All this happened seventeen years before Bailey's kidnapping.

                                                As time went by, Rowan mourned for her child.  She notices two children in the neighborhood, Diane Brown, 10, and her brother, Kevin.  She stalks them, thinking how awful it is the kids are not supervised by their mother, or any parent.  What she does not realize is that the mother is in no position to watch these kids, and Diane, at 10, is having to assume the adult surrogate role, because their mother is horribly dying of cancer.  On an available opportunity, when Diane is away from Kevin for a moment, Rowan abducts the six-year-old from the park, and he becomes another of the city's unsolved missing cases for 17 years.

                                                  In the present, Bailey is able to describe her kidnapper.  This leads them to Rowan's home, where they find human remains in the garden.  It turns out the real Emerson is buried in the yard, and the missing Kevin Brown has been raised all these years, by Rowan, who has him now believing he is Emerson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Yet, Emerson/Kevin has solid memories of his sister being his maternal figure, and loving him, even comforting him in bed, so he would go to sleep.  This is definitely PTSD.  He kidnaps Bailey, not out of sex--though, technically, she is age inappropriate, and this would label him a pedophile--but out of a renewal of childhood comfort, with his sister.  Bailey is not sexually assaulted, he just wants to cuddle with her.

                                                     Rowan knows all this is wrong, but goes out of her way to protect him, as she does not want to lose another child.  When she is interrogated, she snaps, "Every woman deserves a child of her own!," to which Olivia rightly retaliates, "No one has the right to take another woman's child."

                                                       The saddest moment was at the end.  It looks like Rowan loses both children, and she is off to jail.  But Diane and Kevin have a chance to reunite as siblings, of what is left of their family. But, after seventeen years of her brother missing, which she has come to accept as death, Diane cannot take the recent happenings, and walks away.  Olivia tries to leave hope that she may change her mind, but I think Diane was a cold hearted bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         The acting, especially by Chloe Webb, overcame the story's contrivances.  But that Diane Brown, what a bitch!

                                                            Soon, she will have to come to live with everlasting regret.

                                                            She will know something of the way Rowan feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Spring Has Finally Arrived.....But Are You Kidding??????????????

                                      Yesterday, girls, was March 21st, which meant not only the First Day Of Spring, but also the return of Proserpina to her mother, Demeter, to visit Earth for the next six months!

                                       Pluto, God of the Underworld, must have been royally pissed or upset yesterday, because, with all the wind and rain, he did not let Proserpina go, easily.  Could there have been trouble in Paradise????????????????????

                                         Between this, and the Swallows, darling, Winter 2019 is now History!!!!!!!!!!!  And thank God, for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          So, let us welcome Spring, as we await blue skies, and those flowers!!!!!!!!!!

                                           As for Pluto, you still have Ceres, your canine companion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What The Hell???????????? Basketball Over Amy??????????????????

                                   The day had gone well, and the evening better.  After a lovely dinner with our neighbor, Jennifer, David and I realized it was 10PM, and that meant time for "At Home With Amy Sedaris."  We couldn't wait.  But, when we tuned in to Channel 35, where Amy's show is aired, imagine our chagrin--anger!!!!!!!!--to see a basketball game of some sort had pre-empted Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Which is funny, because I had a vague recollection, as Amy was previewing her next show, after last week's, that the air date said March 26.  Why not the 19th??????????

                                        Well, we found out, but good!  Channel 35 has some nerve depriving us of Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I hope station execs get a scary visit from Nutmeg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broadway Needs A Pooper Scooper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   This shit, darlings, is literally, the kind that cannot be made up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    It started at a casting call for the musical "Magic Mike," at the Pearl Studios, on 500 Eighth Avenue, in Manhattan.  A woman stepped in something, back on February 26, and, after exclaiming, "Oh, shit!," discovered that was, literally, what she had stepped into!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Someone is defecating in some of Broadway's best known rehearsal studios. It happened,  again, on March 6, at the Ripley-Grier space, not far from the Pearl.

                                       The question is who, and why????????????????????

                                        The why is easier.  There is some contention, among Equity actors, with whom I agree, that too many touring companies use non-union actors.  Now, I have nothing against non-union actors; after all, everyone who goes into theater starts out that way. But once the Equity card is earned, that should matter, only it seems less so these days.

                                           So, someone is using this to make a statement.  I think going to Equity administrators, and talking it out, would be better, but, to be sure, this method has caught the media buzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              I am telling you, I am now afraid to walk into a rehearsal studio!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The question is who?  My first suspicion was Lauren Ambrose, who did such a crappy job in "My Fair Lady," and feels disgruntled that Broadway did not welcome her with opens arms. It did, however, and I speak for myself, here, welcome her departure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 I am convinced this is done by some vulgar, straight man, who has a beef with Equity, or maybe not being seen for "Magic Mike."  I want to know who this guy is, and I hope he is caught soon.  This goes way beyond being a publicity stunt for a show not yet up and running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   For his punishment, he should be given an Equity Pooper Scooper, and made to clean up all the shit all over Manhattan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Especially his own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Oh--one final word!  I was not able to get them on here, but catch the two brilliant video spoofs of this incident.  The first parodies 'SVU' calling it 'SPU--"Special Pooping Unit."  The one who plays Olivia perfectly nails Mariska Hargitay's  non- acting dourness.
The second, featuring the cast of the wonderful musical "The Prom" sets the whole thing to music, based on a number from "Into The Woods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Priceless, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Of The Most Depressing Reads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       A woman who works in my local bookstore gave me a copy of this, suggesting I might enjoy it.  It is certainly well written, but somewhere along the way, I saw where this was going.  I hoped I was wrong, but sadly, I was right.  And if anyone is interested in reading this book, stop reading this post right here.

                                           "When All Is Said" uses a "Ulysses" type structure--an evening in the life of a man drinking in his neighborhood bar, musing on his life.  There has been some tragedy--what Irish novel wouldn't have some?--in his life, but, save for the death of his wife, he cannot get past it.
I get it.  But he has a successful son in the States, who, with a wife and children, love him dearly.  Maurice Hannigan, for that is the man's name, is reaching that point where he may not be able to care for himself.  A nursing home looms, and, to be sure, his son and family will find him a comfortable, not abusive, place.

                                               He will have none of it. So, leaving a tape recording to his son, he descends the stairs to the honeymoon suite in the hotel he now owns, and takes his life.

                                                 So, the entire novel amounts to a suicide note.

                                                  I am at an age where most in my early life have left.  I am so grateful to have my David.  But this book got under my skin, and not in a good way.  I have fears of loneliness and isolation; this book triggered them all.  I am now reading a piece of fun trash to get the taste of this book out of my mouth.

                                                  And I also happen to be of Irish descent!

                                                  I cannot say the book is bad, or that Griffin is a bad writer.  She is not.
But if you don't have the emotional constitution for this type of material, stay away.  Had I known what I was in for, at the start, I might not have read it, in the first place.

                                                    And, yet, it is being touted as "the next great Irish novel."

                                                   Can't the Irish write anything that is not morose?????????????????