We Are Now One Twelfth Through 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Well, I am glad.  January is my least favorite month.  The post holiday slump depresses me, and I don't really get int othe swing of things, till midway.  Which is ironic, because, had I not been a preemie, (born in November, 1954) this would have been my birthday month.  Which would make my beloved and I have had the same month of birth, so it would have been two birthdays with one stone?  Or is that one stone, with two birthdays???????????

                                 The Blizzard of 2016 is what we will all remember January for.  A lot of reading was done this month, and we are taking a theatrical pick-me-up this afternoon, which I will report on.

                                   It was a month of love and warmth with my beloved--may it continue--and many hot meals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, the next time I greet my girls, it will be February!  And a Leap Year one, at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Gone Is the Sense Of Enterprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                 I dreamed some dreams last night, girls, but they were more like the ones Fantine would have had during her decline, not before!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  In the first, I was being chased by a pedophile.  That is it,.  Pure and simple????????

                                   What is that about?  I can't wait to discuss this with my therapist, because I am way beyond the age of desirability for pedophiles.  They like their conquests pre-pubescent, not post menopausal!!!!!!!!!!!  And that's male menopause, darlings!!!!!!!!  Oh, yes, it exists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The second, more telling dream, had me, with my parents, visiting my Aunt Jane, in Linwood, where she did live, and which are my strongest memories of her, back in the Sixties.

                                    In the dream, I had some kind of pet.  It was supposed to be a dog, only it was about the size of a hamster, and when I wasn't looking for it, it was always clinging to the front of my shirt.

                                    So, it is morning, and I come down for breakfast.  The dream was in black and white.  The kitchen layout was the same, but the place was an embarrassing mess; something that was not a part of the real world of Aunt Jane.  There were all these coffee makers lying around, but only one that had been used, and barely had anything in it.  But, as filthy as the place was, I HAD to have my coffee.  I began bitching about it, forced to make coffee in  a dirty pot.  I was so addicted I would have drank the grinds.

                                     I poured new coffee into the machine.  I added water.  But just as I went to start things rolling, I saw something move inside.  It was either a mouse or a small rat.  I screamed, and ran out of the house.  It was Summer, I was wearing sandals, the sun was shining, the dream was now in color--like you know what!!!!!!!!--and I was walking to the Sunoco station, just off the turn to the street neat Aunt Jane's house, where I knew there would be coffee.

                                     It was then I awoke, screaming, as all I could picture was that rat in the coffee machine.  I ran out to the kitchen, where ours was sitting, waiting for me to make the coffee.

                                      I did, but I was so rattled by the dream, I made only enough for myself!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Aunt Jane, and David, forgive me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, If We're Going To Be Attacked, We Should All Look As Good As Grace Kelly In "Dial M For Murder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Darlings, if you thought Grace was something as Lisa Fremont, in "Rear Window,' climbing the fire escape to Raymond Burr's apartment, in that imitation Schiaparelli dress, wait till you see hear in "Dial M For Murder."  This princess was some tough cookie!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Grace plays Margo Wendice, married to washed up tennis pro, Tony Wendice, played by Ray Milland, and  living off of Grace's money.

                                When Anthony Dawson, as Captain Lesgate, aka Swann, enters the apartment, and attacks Grace from behind, choking her with a scarf wrapped around her neck--at least, it's a designer one!!!!!!!!--you should see the strength Grace forces to grab a pair of scissors from behind, and stab Swann!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!  Go, Grace!!!!!!!!!!!!  This princess is one tough cookie!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The story is contrived, but the colors lush.  Ray Milland is unusually suave, if a bit long in the tooth, and Hitchcock's cameo is ingenious.  But, it is Grace's show all the way!

                                       The real reason to see this overly contrived, stagey film--one of Hitchcock's lesser efforts, but hey, I would rather see second rate Hitchcock than Quentin Tarantino!!!!!!--is that red dress in beginning!!!!!!!!!!!  I want it!!!!!!!!!  We all do!!!!!!!!!!  It's what I am aiming for, when I leave the house for work, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I won't tell you how well I succeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Disintegration Of The World's Most Expensive Shower Curtain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  During my days of spinsterhood, I would liven things up by having, four times a year, what I called the Seasonal Changing Of The Shower Curtain.  It brought excitement into my then depressing life, and gave me a chance, like any self-respecting gay man, to decorate.  It also saved money on having to buy new shower curtains, since they were up for a specifically limited time.  They had no time to disintegrate.

                                    While in Queens--a time I speak of infrequently--I was so depressed I lost interest in a lot of things, so I gave this ritual up.  I got a clear plastic curtain, with green frogs on it.  I thought, at the time, plastic curtains were in style--many I knew at the time had them--and I liked the frogs, and thought about how, being alone, with no action, why the hell should I care being naked through cleat plastic?  Who was going to see me?  Not even Baby Gojira, who, in those days, was in the bedroom, keeping an ever watchful eye on my book collection, there.

                                      When my beloved and I moved to Bay Ridge, almost four years ago, we went to Gracious Home, up by Lincoln Center--where else, darlings????--because we wanted to create a special look for what has been termed our Fag Palace!!!!!!!!!!  And we found the perfect thing--a matching set of John Robshaw shower curtains, valued at $150 each.  We got three, because our tub's knobs and pipes are in the middle of the wall, not the side--just like in Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        We had the most elegant shower curtains around!!!!!!!!!  ANNA would have been impressed!

                                          Well, guess what, Gracious Home??????  After three years, the curtains, despite being lovingly care for, and washed, disintegrated!!!!!!!!!!  Four hundred and fifty dollars--gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine?  What is the world coning to???????  What kind of shoddy material did Robshaw use??????  Would Cecil Beaton have used such stuff????????  I doubt it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            So now, we have new, if not the most expensive, shower curtains.

                                             We should have listened to Diana Vreeland, who said, "Elegance is simplicity."

                                               And maybe John, or Gracious Home, should give us a refund!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Cannot Wait For "Evil Stepmothers" On Investigation Discovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                This should be the bitch fest of the season!  February is normally "sweeps month," so you know they are cooking up something special.  And, I have to admit, it seems I have been scrambling, of late, to find a Bitch Of The Week, so this show alone should afford me an endless supply of bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 I wonder if my bland winners of late--or this Winter--accounts for what I see as a drop in members among my girls??????????  Or is Eblog  just experiencing problems. Because my beloved was always up there, and he is not, as of now, and he still reads me faithfully.

                                  You know I love you all, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  You are gorgeous!  Even if we do not always agree!  Hey, it is a free thinking forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     So, come on back, girls, because when "Evil Stepmothers" starts up it is going to be Camp Central! What a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I may not be able to keep up with the supply of bitches!  But we will see!!!!!!!!!

Why Can't I Be Barbara Jean???????????????

                       Heaven knows, I have the voice, hons!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       But, seriously, I am not trying to assert gender here. It's not like "Miss Gentilbelle," where some sick fuck of a mother, who has a whitened mark where her wedding ring should have been was dissed by her husband, because she was repelled by the sex act, and then had the temerity to have a male child.  Which she makes into a little girl, by raising "Robert" as "Roberta."

                         Now, that is sick.

                         But, when "Nashville"--Altman's masterwork, I mean--came out, back in 1975, how I wanted to be Barbara Jean. Even the nervous breakdown and collapsing at the airport. But, most of all, I wanted to wear the hair, the ribbons, the white gown, and sing.  And I could still do that; what is there to stop me??????????

                         True, I never looked as good as Ronnee Blakley  back then, and these days I look more like Barbara Baxley, as Lady Pearl.

                            But I have always wanted to be Barbara Jean, and, in this age of gender rights, and specification, I see no reason I cannot be.

                              For the duration of a musical gig.

                               Here is Ronnee at her Barbara Jean best!  This is what I want to do!  Enjoy!

"He's In Love, With Kim! Kim's In Love With Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                       As any of my girls know, those words, and this photo, are from "The Telephone Hour" number, from "Bye, Bye, Birdie."  Beautiful, one may say, but what has this to do with the Bitch Of The Week.

                        This week's winner just happens to be from Texas.  Now, I know some have chided me on here about deriding Texas, but when you have homophobic groups committing hate crimes, and fathers, like the winner, Ronald Johnson, acting like an idiot, well, darlings, how can I help but not speak out.  I don't deride Texas; some of it is quite beautiful. Texas is dong it to itself.

                         You know what the divorced father did?  He confiscated his daughter's cell phone, and then would not give it back!  When his ex-wife had the police intervene,. he went up against their authority!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            What a bitch!  From the days of "Bye, Bye, Birdie" on, and even more especially today, how can anyone beyond puberty live without their social devices????????  I mean, what is next, putting her in stocks for village display???????????

                                Wait till daughter dear reaches the age of Kim from "Bye, Bye, Birdie!"  Ronald thinks he has troubles now, there are worse things coming down the pike!!!!!!!!!!

                                    She'll tell him she's "got a lot of living to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Have Colonoscopy Anxiety Disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       It all started with Peggy Lipton.

                                       I was going to do a post on the commercials she does with her daughter, Rashida Jones, in which both are comically brilliant.  Not to overlook that Peggy, who was once Julie Barnes on "The Mod Squad," and whom we all wanted to be at one time, is now 69!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you believe it, and looking that good!  So, I was ready to go!

                                        But then I read of her frightening experience. Thirteen years ago, when she was 56, she went to have what she thought was a routine colonoscopy--which meant she had drank that awful stuff--and then she found out there was a Stage III tumor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Peggy and Rashida got busy, Peggy did the chemo, and she got that junk right out of her system.  I suppose I should find this inspiring, and, to an extent, I do, but I am also frightened of the same thing happening to me.

                                            Because, this darlings, is the year of my colonoscopy!!!!!!!!!!  It will be my third; I plan to have it in May/Spring, and I just pray to Mary, Jacinta, Bernadette and everyone I get through it. Then my beloved goes next year.

                                              I have been told by the wise that it does save lives, so that is what this is all about, But losing control, due to anaesthesia is something I don't like, but I don't want to feel anything, either.  And then that disgusting stuff one has to drink--when is science going to improve on that?  And why don't they get busy, at it?????????????

                                               So, yes, dears, I have CAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Till it is over, there is klonopin and herbal tea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 What a pain in the ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Well, How The Hell Should I Know, Eunice????????????"

                            Are these people for real?  In the far, outlying reaches of what is called America, even though it is not New York, such people exist.  I am just glad I don't have to live near them.

                              Now, remember when we were younger, and Saturday nights were fun???????  When Carol Burnett was on, I never missed an episode where they did "The Family," which featured Carol as Eunice Higgins, Harvey Korman, as her husband, Ed, and Vicki Lawrence, outstanding as Eunice's mother, Thelma Harper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              All kinds of guest stars dropped by!  I loved Betty White as Eunice's bitchy, but favored, sister, Ellen.  Ken Berry was on one, at least.  And so was Roddy McDowall, as a gay relative.  But I was young, then, what did I know?

                                And who could forget the brilliance of Tim Conway, as Mickey Hart??????????

                                 They can still be seen on YouTube.  I use it as a pick-me-up, every so often!

                                 Now, there was one thing about Eunice that cracked me up, so help me God.
   
                                  My mother had a very close friend named Edna, whom I used to call Aunt Edna, though we were not related.  Our families were close; she was like a second mother to me, and, awhile back, I did a post on here son, Marc, who is my age, and seems to have dropped out of sight.

                                   The very first time I saw Carol Burnett, as Eunice, I cried out, "Oh, my God!  She looks like Aunt Edna!"  Now, my mother might or might not have agreed with me, but she did implore me to "Never tell that to Edna!"  So, of course I did not!

                                      But, just like Fourth of July and New Years Eve, when I see Eunice, I think of Aunt Edna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Who was not a bit like Eunice, at all!

                                          But the ones who are should be pitied. They don't know how trapped their existences are.

                                           And that is what made these sketches so brilliant. They were played for comedy, but, if directed differently, they could come out like something out of William Inge.  Or "August:Osage County."

                                             But we just love Eunice and Mama, no matter what!  I would LOVE to play Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Wasn't Celia Keenan Bolger Nominated For "The Visit???????????" And When Is She Going To Do Another Horror Movie???????????????

                              This is a story that bears repeating.  Back last Summer, when my beloved and I went to see "The Visit," the best moment in the entire movie came during the opening credits, when a name flashed across the screen I had no reason to expect to see--Celia Keenan Bolger!!!!!!!!!!

                                I was astounded.  "Oh, my God!," I cried out, aloud.  "Celia Keenan Bolger!" To which someone else in the back responded, "Who's that?"

                                Well, Celia was just brilliant.  I am telling you, when she brought that home made blueberry cobbler, I am certain Celia made it herself. She is a very gifted actress>

                                  So, why no Oscar nomination for Celia for this film?  Not to mention Blythe Danner in "I'll See You In My Dreams."

                                     As long as the Academy is being blasted for prejudice, add to that list "Blond Haired Actresses From New York."  Hollywood and Gotham have hated each other for ages.  But to not recognize Celia and Blythe is criminal.

                                       Now, Celia, we know you have duties as a mother, and that child is going to college, so can't you do a little work to earn that, and please your fans, who are anxious to see you????????

                                         Meanwhile, we are all looking forward to seeing Andrew this Spring in "Tuck Everlasting!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, My God, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meet The Madoffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Yes, girls, that is none other than Blythe Danner, playing Ruth Madoff, in the forthcoming (when???????  I am so looking forward to this!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ABC miniseries, about the ponzi scheme couple.

                                   Of course, everyone knows Ruth was the brains of the whole operation, so casting one of America's most intelligent--and age appropriate--actresses as Ruth is a stroke of genius. Congrats to the casting director who nabbed this one. Give that guy a raise!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And Richard Dreyfuss as Bernie?  Perfect!  This should be both insightful, and a hoot, and you can bet I will discuss it with all of you. And don't those pearls look great on Blythe????????

                                      Ruth Madoff should be SO flattered!  You can bet she doesn't look as good as Blythe Danner!  And never did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, THIS Is Creative Advertising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I wouldn't know one hard cider from another, considering I don't drink the stuff.  But when I saw this drawing, I was stunned. That tree!  Dig that crazy "Wizard Of Oz" reference!!!!!!!!  It is certainly eye catching.

                           In fact, it was one of the highlights of yesterday, as we trudged through the damage done by what is being referred to as "Storm Jonas."  Why not Clothilde??????????

                            The real highlight was a balcony appearance by my beloved Cujo, who was just as regal, handsome, and affectionate, as one could hope.  Better than that Spawn Of Satan thing, who is staying in the house on 76th Street, and is just hankering to take a bite out of me!  Well, he won't get the chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               But this ad is so captivating, I would almost give the product a try!

                               It has more imagination than those Connie and Jack ads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are You All Right, Sister Camille?????????????????????

                          It was a Sunday that began like any other, darlings!  The voice clock had just chanted "Eight AM," and I rose out of bed, placing Baby Gojira before the radio, atop the fridge, so he could hear Sister Camille, and her message for the week.

                           He waited, and I waited.  Me, with my coffee, Baby Gojira with baited baby breath.  No smoke or fire fumes!  She is usually on around  8:35, but when the time came and went, I was stunned, and Baby Gojira was upset.  My beloved said something--the weather--must have prevented her from making her broadcast or transporting it.

                             I would hope the station would have made some kind of announcement, to those of us who await Sister's words, each Sunday morning.  The important thing is that Sister Camille is OK, so here is a fond wish for that, from Baby Gojira and myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Until next Sunday, Sister Camille!  You enrich our lives, and you were missed this morning!

Grace Coddington To Leave "VOGUE?????????" Is The World Coming To An End????????????????????????

                          This is the story of the month, darlings, and it knocked me for a loop!  Yesterday, thanks to one of my many sources, I learned that Grace Coddington, the Right Hand to Anna Wintour--ANNA!!!!!--is stepping down from her full-time position as Creative Director, at "VOGUE."

                            Now.  She will retain an office.  She will be in on several shoots and editorials during the year.  But, she is not going to be there every day to pacify ANNA, or comfort those who may be terrified of ANNA.  I am not.  I LOVE her!  Maybe I should apply for Grace's job!!!!!!!!!  Hey, ANNA, call me!  Wait till I show you the Baby Gojira fashion layout I have planned.

                            According to what I understand, Grace, who is 74, is doing this, so she can pursue other projects, most notably a fragrance line with Comme Des Garcons!!!!!!!!!!!!!   In most cases, this would be called retirement, but with Grace still retaining an office, I wonder if it is actually called "phasing out the older workers!"  And I say the word plural, because, with Grace a less visible presence, that is going to isolate ANNA more, so what's to stop Conde Nast honchos from trying to push her out??????????

                            I mean, IF--and I am only saying IF--ANNA were to go, it would be gently into that good night!  And, once gone, she would still be heard from.  How can this woman, who truly RUNS New York City, step down from her power perch???????????  How can so many of us, and our social scenes, cope with it?????????   I mean, I am not yet ready for the job!  I am just a humble blogger!  Well, a blogger, at least!!!!!!!!!!!

                          This is only January!  Who knows what is in store for "VOGUE" in the remaining eleven months????????????

                           Rest assured, if I manage to get a "VOGUE" office, you will hear all about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Let's start now, girls--SAVE ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Of My Favorite Musicals Celebrates Its 50th Anniversary This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               "MAME" opened at the Winter Garden on May 24, 1966.  Come that date this year, it will be half a century since....and Angela Lansbury, who was 41 then, is till alive now, at 91!!!!!!!!!!  Amazing!!!!!!!!!

                               Again, so why is no one acknowledging the durability of the classic.  I know Paper Mill did it, years back, with Christine Ebersole, and Kelly Bishop (as Vera Charles), but I have heard nothing about anything planned for New York.  Why can't ENCORES step in; "MAME" would be a sure fire money maker for them; even a "MAME" sing-along at 54 Below--which you know I would lead, darlings!!!!!!--could serve as some kind of acknowledgement.

                                Alas, with the Millennials thinking they are running things, nothing humane is valued--not history,  culture or endurance.  You would think this group had grown up on reading "Atlas Shrugged," but they were too busy texting their whole lives to open a book, even on Kindle!!!!!!!!!

                                  And one a thousand pages long?????????  Forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But I am not here to denigrate the Millennials; I can always do that another time.

                                  The point is, "MAME" needs to be acknowledged as a half century old musical theater classic, and if this blog is the only one to do it, then so be it!

                                    Happy 50th Anniversary, "MAME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     Here are Angela and Company doing "It's Today!"  Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If You Thought Your High School Experience Was Bad...Forget It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   When Daphne Du Maurier wrote her masterwork, "Rebecca," she challenged the reader by not giving its heroine the name.   Jessica Knoll, in her gripping novel, "Luckiest Girl Alive!" goes her one better--her heroine has a name I have to look up in order to spell it.

                                     Her name is Ani  FaNelli, which is short for TifAni. She is fourteen years old, and if you think I am going to spend the rest of this post writing out her name, forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       This girl's high school experiences make mine look tame.  But, as despicable as the treatment of her is, I have to wonder about the heroine's choices.  Going to a party,  where there is underage drinking, and you are the only girl, is not a good idea.

                                        But this decision, and another incident beyond anyone's control, informs her adult life, where she becomes highly successful in her career--straight out of Lauren Weisberger-- but not so successful in her personal relationship. And this forces her into one of the biggest decisions of her life.

                                        The surprises and betrayals keep coming fast and furious, in "Luckiest Girl Alive,."  I would never think of spoiling the pleasure of discovery, but, while Knoll seems to pile it on, her book is a compelling read, though not the study of psychosis I was expecting. It is an examination of one who has endured emotional damage, and gone beyond it!  An inspiration for all!!!!!!!!

                                         Of course, the book has been sold to the movies, so let us hope it is not ruined.  And let us hope Reese Witherspoon, who is producing, realizes she is too old to play TifAni.

                                          There. I wrote it one more time.  The title is a double edged sword--and so is the heroine's life.

                                           But in the end, she triumphs.  Endurance is the message Knoll's novel has for us all!!!!!!!!!!

A Cult Musical Celebrates Its 30th Anniversary, This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I knew "RAGS" was special the moment I first saw it, back in 1986!!!!!!!!  That cast, those songs!!!!!!!!!!  Judy Kuhn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I also knew it was too dark for a commercial Broadway run, but that Theater Queens, who always know, would give it an enduring life.

                                            I have seen two other productions of it in the intervening decades, and have been moved and transported, each time.  I have played the cast recording endlessly.

                                            And still no major revival!!!!!!!!!!!!  What about the reading Jessie Mueller did; surely "RAGS" is in her future????????  If she sang Rebecca, I am telling you, she would get another TONY Award.

                                             Why hasn't ENCORES done it???????  Don't they know how it would sell???????   And especially in this year!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               "RAGS" seems to the musical everyone loves, but no one wants to do. Why?????????

                                                To not honor this show in New York City, on its 30th Anniversary, is a crime as large as not honoring the 75th Anniversary of "The Wizard Of Oz!!!!!!!!!!!" Which I have not forgotten, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  So, please, someone this year give "RAGS" its due!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Meanwhile, here is the gold standard--the title song, albeit abbreviated--from the 1987 TONY Awards!  The show as nominated for Best Musical, but, alas, closed by then, and it was the year of "Les Miserables!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                    And I agree--had Judy Kuhn been nominated for "RAGS," instead of "Les Miserables," she would have won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"How Do You Solve A Problem, Like" Uncle Ernest??????????????????

                             Girls, it has taken me a week to process what happened at the birthday lunch, last Sunday, for my beloved, with Uncle Ernest.  Which was held--where else??????--at the Second Avenue Deli?????????????

                              Now, I jut love Uncle Ernest, but the fact is, he is a wounded bird!!!!!!!!!  At close to 85, he still thinks about scoring with chicks, and having a sex life--both my beloved and I are used to this--but we were not prepared, this time, for what we did hear!

                             Uncle Ernest is a vehicular menace!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Last February 25, he was in a car accident.  Both of us were aware of this, but we were not aware of how bad it actually was.  He told us he got confused on a road that was out of his comfort zone, resulting in him running into a car on the side, which injured the driver enough to send him to the hospital in an ambulance, and then he side swiped a truck!  But, wait, dears, it gets better.  Uncle Ernest just kept on going--he left the scene of an accident!!!!!!!!--and now he is going to be sued--by the guy, the insurance company, or whatever.  Plus, although he did not get a scratch, Uncle Ernest's own car had to be repaired, to the tune of eight thousand dollars!!!!!!!!!!!

                               How many girls on here think Uncle Ernest should stop driving???? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

                               But trying to reason with Uncle Ernest is worse than Carol Burnett as Eunice, trying to reason with Vicki Lawrence as her mother, Thelma Harper!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The man is richer than Midas!  And he won't pay for our wedding!  Because, he thinks, since we're still working, we are richer than he!!!!!!!!!!  He does not realize how difficult it is being a career girl, in this age!

                               "Do you think your sight, or your hearing had anything to do with the accident?" my beloved asked.  Like, duh!!!!!!!!!!!!  But Uncle Ernest maintained it was his "mental condition," which I wondered about for a few days, eventually concluding he meant his sense of confusion over being out of his comfort zone!  To which I wanted to ask him, "Then why did you go out of it??????"

                                 I think it is time to talk to Uncle Ernest about the Jewish Nursing Home, overlooking the boardwalk and ocean, at Coney Island!!!!!!!!!!   But this guy is coy; I see the twinkle in his eye when he manipulates us, thinking he is fooling us, when I have his number!!!!!!!!  I know when he is playing us for fools, refusing to admit anything is wrong, or that he does not need such care!

                                  I mean, he needs a makeover!  I would be embarrassed to take him to Sally Hershberger, because his hair was askew, his eyebrows needed trimming., and he under dressed, in a shabby button down shirt. True,  he had a winter coat, and he was clean, but as Time marches on, who knows??????????

                                   So, next month we have another birthday luncheon with Uncle Ernest, celebrating his birthday!!!!!!!!!   I can't wait to see what he pulls next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I just hope he doesn't hurt or kill anyone, included!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Stay tuned, girls; you might see us all on the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

This Is The Hair Hot Spot For This Year, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Aside from where Blythe Danner gets her hair done in Manhattan--a location I have been trying to find for years, not only so I can go and get my hair done there, but maybe bump into Blythe!!!!!!--the salon of the moment is Sally Hershberger.  Of course, with two salons in the city, THE one to go to is on the Upper East Side--where else?????-- 17 East 71st Street, to be exact!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Do they take men?  If they have sense, they should!  Gay men just eat this stuff up, and we all want to look our best, especially with Valentine's Day coming up!

                             Now, it is true, you can still get a hair appointment with Ariette at Bergdorf's; I mean, it is still socially acceptable, and you can show yourself about town. But Sally Heshberger has become IN, so, for social status in this town--and don't we all want that??????--I think is very important that you all march yourselves over to 17 East 71st Street.

                             I cannot wait to see what they can do with MY hair! And you may see Blythe and I. just chatting it up!  Like real girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Cannot Believe "Blue Velvet" Turns 30 This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I have not seen "Blue Velvet" in ten years--on the big screen, of course, where it belongs, at the Film Forum, on its then 20th Anniversary. Now, we are at 30. How the time goes.

                                      Ten years ago, it was as fresh as the first time I saw it, back in the day, up in the second floor of what was then still The Waverly.  It certainly connected with my impressions of the underbelly of small town America, where I grew up, and I swear, to this day, because of those glasses, the actress playing Aunt Barbara, Frances Bay (a somewhat known character actress) looked just like my maternal grandmother, who lived with us, and whom we called Nana.

                                         It was like watching what might have happened to me, had I spent the rest of my life in Highland Park, New Jersey. Lord, loves, have mercy on us all!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          But David Lynch tapped into the suburban zeitgeist at exactly the right time.  And, should there be a 30th Anniversary showing--and there had damn well better be--I am sure the film will hold up beautifully!

                                           Le plus ca change, le plus meme chose, darlings!

                                           For your musical pleasure, here is Bobby Vinton's classic rendition!

                                            And Isabella Rossellini's unforgettable rendering, in the film!

Darlings, This Is The New Place To Be Seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            With Winter fixing to really set in--dig out the Henry James or the Brontes--even The Raving Queen cannot be in multiple places at once.  That is why, like Eve Harrington, I have my "Indian scouts" searching for me, so I can report to you on the latest.

                             And Locanda Verde, located at 377 Greenwich Street, is the latest place to be seen.

                              I mean, you simply cannot show yourself in civilized society, unless you have dined here.  I am most anxious to--not only do they serve all three meals, but their cuisine is exotic--things like Sheep's Milk Ricotta,  Marinated Beets, and Linguine Neri.  Not to mention that, at breakfast, they have Lemon Ricotta Pancakes.  Are they as good as Sarabeth's??????  Only dining at either  place will tell.

                               I think workplaces--certainly mine--should have some staff meetings at here or Sarabeth. After the exquisite food, and sloshed down with wine and coffee, folks will be ready to agree with anything, or tolerate any colleague.

                                Why don't more companies get smart???????????

                                  My beloved and I plan to dine here soon!  I mean, I cannot afford NOT to be seen here, darlings!!!!!!!!  Hope to see you there--oh, hello ANNA!!!!!!!!--and rest assured there will be a full report!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Mangia, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Want This To Be Me, When The Ziegfeld Movie Theatre Comes Down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              No date has been set, and it is not exactly going to be demolished, but, within a few weeks, the doors will close on the Ziegfeld Theatre.

                               To think it first opened in 1969.  Depending on what time of year it opened, I was either finishing eighth grade, or starting high school.  And you know how long ago that was, dolls!!!!!

                                The first movie I remembering seeing there was Liza Minnelli in "Cabaret." An auspicious start for a burgeoning gay youth destined to end up in New York.

                                 Though I never dreamed this day would come. My God, it is right out of "Follies."

                                    Because, darlings, in time, the theater will be demolished,  This idea of turning it into a ballroom, or whatever--I wouldn't put it pass them to make it some trashy buffet place!!!!!!--is not going to fly forever, and with that a choice land spot, the building will come down.

                                     So, look to me to recreate this moment when it does.

                                      Alas, no musical will come of it! Lightning does not strike twice!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Most Fun Filled 1956 60th Anniversary Film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Anyone who has been on here long enough does not have to ask who these two are. They, of course, are Nancy Kelly and Patty McCormack, in their signature roles as that dynamic mother and daughter duo in "The Bad Seed!!!!!!'  Which, since it was released in 1956, turns 60 this year, and is the campiest yet!

                            It is too bad that Dorothy Malone's campy turn as toreador pants clad, dancing on record covers to bongo drums character of May Lee in "Written On The Wind" beat out Patty McCormack for the Oscar. Any other year, I would have gone with Malone; you can't beat her for camp!  But Patty is not only over the top nasty, she set the standard for child sociopaths in drama. Without Rhoda Penmark, there would be no Alice Manning.

                           "The Bad Seed" stands the gold standard, the ground breaker for all evil child stories!  Next to Patty's antics are Nancy Kelly's!  Oh, my God!  When she practically drools clinging over the chair, "Oh, God help me! God help me!," it is too much.  My mother and I could have played it on Broadway!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then when she clings to a post in her house and cries, like a lamenting Medea, "Why couldn't I have just died in the orchard, and end the agony???????"  And nothing beats when she pounds her own uterus as she cries out about "That evil woman!  My mother!!!!!"  And how about when she smashes her hands on the table, as Leroy dies!  It is a wonder she did not break any bones!

                              This film has it cornered for high handed hysteria!!!!!!!!!!!!  To think when we were young, we actually thought it was shocking!  So did 1956 audiences!!!!!!!!!!!  Now, while the truth of it is real, its dramatic execution is such a camp hoot that among film mavens, gay or not, it makes for a riotous, popcorn filled evening!

                                 Sixty years of "The Bad Seed" can only be congratulated by a wish for sixty more!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Rock on, Rhoda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Archetypal Bitch!!!!!!!!!!! But, Hey, They Have Their Place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Last night's "Law And Order, SVU" episode, "A Misunderstanding," was the usual dramatic mess the show has been, ever since Chris Meloni bowed out, and they have pumping up Olivia to be the Sanctimonious Queen she seems to think she is, but really is not.  Indeed, she demonstrated all that on the show last night, but what really made this show was Olivia Birkelund's performance as Ellen Roberts, good enough to be named Bitch Of The Week.

                          Ellen just loves her perfect son, Chris, even if he is a conformist sex pig, who took advantage of a 15-year-old girl--who may have not said "No!," but clearly said, "Don't!" and "Slow down!," which amount to the same thing--and will do anything, even turn on one of her own sex, to make sure her son's chances of getting into Stanford are realized.

                           Let us consider Ellen's back story for a moment.  I mean, just look at that hair.  That limp, dyed blonde look, the hardness of the skin; this is no Stepford Wife, but one who wants to be, and is a town or two removed from it.  Ellen wanted to be First Tier, but she can never except the fact that she and her no-right-to-be-arrogant hubby, Dennis Roberts (excellently played by John Hickcock) will never be Top Tier, even if they send their son to private school, and it is breaking their bank, as sure as Connie Stevens broke hers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           This woman is a piece of work.  "I know girls!  I know how they lie!," she says at one point to Olivia, Rita Calhoun (Elizabeth Marvel) and the victim, Abby Stewart.  Why, you bitch?Because you were a lying thing yourself?  And what lie did you use to trap hubby into your semi-Stepford marriage??????? Oh, this woman did not fool me, for a second.

                             And, then, the scene in the bathroom. "Oh, I'm just here to wash my hands," she humbly says, before grabbing Abby and accusing her as the reason Stanford has asked their son to withdraw his application.  Someone should take away her hair dye.

                               This is the type of woman you see in Manhattan all the time. The ones who are just struggling to be Top Tier, even though they will never make it.  She needs a hair appointment fast, but she will never get one with Ariette, or at Sally Hershberger!!!!!!!!!!  She needs a plastic surgeon, too!
Just like all those women my beloved and I saw at the Actors Temple benefit, way back, who looked like they were all cloned out of the same makeover factory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But the Ellen Roberts of the world cannot accept themselves as less than perfect.
Their bitchiness comes from knowing they belong, and should have stayed, in the distinctly Middle Class suburban enclave they hailed from, and get their clothes off the rack at K-Mart, by designers like Jacqueline Smith, or Kate Hudson, because they could never cut it with Caroline Herrera, or Diane Von Furstenberg!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And their frustration over this makes them bitches!

                                      Does Ellen ever stop to think how she would react, had Chris been a daughter?  Would she still throw the girl over for the boy?  Oh no, not at all!  This is not about social honesty; this is about hypocrisy; the mother knows exactly what her son is, too, and shame on her for not doing something about it!  Well, wait till he gets raped in prison; she will sing a different tune, then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Barbara Stanwyck in "Stella Dallas" had more integrity and class than this bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't think the episode's conclusion gave her a good enough lesson, but let me tell you, girls, Life will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Trouble always comes home to roost for bitches, and this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, Ellen Roberts, is no exception!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Shall We Dance," Darlings???????????????????

                       Another 1956 film turns 60 this year, one of the best film versions of a Rodgers And Hammerstein musical.  I am talking about "The King And I," with Yul Brynner and Deborah Kerr.

                          The sumptuousness of this production would be enriched on a large screen, where it deserves to have a showing, in this milestone year.  The costumes are iconic, the score perfection, and the two leads give definitive performances, and Brynner won an Oscar for his.

                           It, like "The Ten Commandments," was nominated for Best Picture of 1956, along with "Around The World In Eighty Days," which won, and, sadly, has not held up with the passage of time.  No one will be celebrating its anniversary this year.  How about "Giant??????????"

                            And stay tuned, for the biggest 1956 Anniversary of all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Here are Yul and Deborah, doing "Shall We Dance?" A showstopper, even on film!
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Can Be Said About The Film That Has Not Been Said In My Other Posts???????????????

                         Well, there are a couple of things.  First, the story is told leisurely, and the mood and performances are all brilliantly understated. So, if screaming histrionics is what one is looking for, this is not it.

                          The understatement works better because it forces the viewer to pay attention to details and foreshadowing. And both are at the heart of the film version of "Every Secret Thing."

                           One minor character from the book is eliminated, which does not hurt matters any. Much of the dialogue comes from the book, itself.

                             Except--and I will not say much--watch out for the final shot. It takes everything that has been seen, and turns it on its head.

                               I wonder how readers of the book, true Lippman devotees, who saw it, felt.  At first, having read it, I was not sure, but after processing it, I think it is just perfect. And confirms audience's worst fears.

                               It is Alice's show all the way.  I don't know what Danielle MacDonald has done, following this, or plans on doing, but, on the basis of her work here, she should go places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Grace Slick famously said, "Go ask Alice!"  This is one Alice you don't ask about anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can You Believe It?????????????? David Lynch Is 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Another birthday that makes me feel old!

                               To think the maestro behind such masterworks "Mulholland Drive," "Twin Peaks," and, of course, "Blue Velvet"--which also celebrates its 30th Anniversary this year, too!!!!!!!!!--has reached this age.  It just does not seem possible.

                                 David Lynch is a genius. But he would not have reached iconic status, had it not been for "Blue Velvet."  When I saw that film, for the first time, I saw, in Lumberton, my own home town of Highland Park, New Jersey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like Kyle MacLachlan, as Jeffrey Beaumont, I was always looking for the seamy underbelly, but, unlike Jeffrey, I was not that naive. I knew all the town's secrets, and where the bodies were buried!  And I still do!  So, watch out, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  At this time of my still young life, I had such a crush on David Lynch.  I wanted to work with him so badly, and would have done anything.  Even pop naked out of the bushes, like Isabella Rossellini, though I think Isabella looked better.  Thirty years later, I wouldn't dare do that scene!!!!!!!!!!!!  Things have not held up as well as "Blue Velvet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    But Happy Birthday, David, on this milestone!   I bet you will have Blue Velvet cake to celebrate--yes, dears, there is such a thing, no matter how disgusting it sounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Let us hear from you, David!  Being 70 is no excuse to stop making films!!!!!!!!!!

Theater Queens, Get Ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            For tradition's sake, it should be done at the St. James Theatre.

                            Even though I saw Pearl Bailey do the show at the Minskoff, and Carol Chaning, back in 1978, at the Lunt Fontanne, with Lee Roy Reams as Cornelius.  Just recently, Reams did the role of Dolly Levi in Florida, and how much do you want to bet he channeled Carol?????????

                              Because, for fifty two years now, even though the role has been done by a galaxy of actresses, (you have got to hear Martha Raye do "I Put My Hand In;" the fastest delivery next to Beth Howland doing "Getting Married Today!!!!!!!!") Carol Channing still owns the role of Dolly Gallagher Levi.  And while Bette will put a fresh take on the classic role, I cannot believe Channing is allowing this to happen.  I did not think this would happen, as long as she is alive.  I fully expect, at some point, to see Channing, now close to 92, if not that now, coming down those historic Harmonia Gardens stairs, in the title number, on a walker!!!!!!!!!!!  I kid you not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Meanwhile, Bette is eagerly awaited, with baited breath!  But this may not happen till 2017!!!!!!!!!!! Now, that would be something. Bette doing 'Dolly' and the Centennial of Fatima!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                The sun would really fall out of the sky, then, dolls!

                                 Get ready to book those tickets!!!!!!!!!!!  Because, once they go on sale, they will be sought after so much,,"Hamilton" will be left in the dust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Will the "Spring Awakening" crowd be able to handle this????????

                                     And how much will those tickets cost, anyway???????????????

                                     Inquiring minds want to know, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Film Is Having A 60th Anniversary, This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             "Oh, Moses, Moses, you wonderful, Wonderful,
                                                  WONDERFUL fool!"--Anne Baxter, as Nefretiri,
                                                in "The Ten Commandments" (1956)



                                Look at this poster, girls!  Its detailed artwork points to the epic quality of the film.  Where do you see this kind of poster art any more?

                                 And where do you see films like "The Ten Commandments" anymore?  Reverent and religious in its visual tone, once the actors--everyone from Charlton Heston, to Yvonne, De Carlo, to Anne Baxter, to Debra Paget, to Martha Scott, to Edward G. Robinson, and John Derek, as Joshua, with the hottest chest in Biblical film history--start opening their mouths, this film becomes a camp fest.  Twice as long as "Valley Of The Dolls" (and sometimes even seeming three times that!!!!!!!!!!) "The Ten Commandments has commanded screens and TVs for six decades.  It is a film of excess, of many excesses, and they deserve to be remembered in a big screen showing!  Let's hope we can count on it, darlings!

                                I am telling you, when the parting of the Red Sea comes on the screen, I have to restrain myself from getting up in my seat, and singing the Judy Garland classic, "Get Happy!!!!!!!!!!!"  Hey, why not start a new tradition, loves????????????

                                Remember--

                                                     "So, it is written. So, it shall be done!"

                              Myself, I always related to Miriam, writhing before the Golden Calf!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you know that was the late Olive Deering???????????????

You Have GOT To Read It, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 When I first heard about this book and film, and its basic plot, I wondered if Alex Marwood's "The Wicked Girls" was influenced by it.  Lippman wrote the book in 2003, or 2004, and Wicker's novel came along, eight years later.  So, anything is possible, though, considering its British setting, I feel Wicker's book was influenced more by the James Bulger case, whose twenty third anniversary--oh, my God!!!!!!!!!--is coming up, next month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  What happens in Lippman's story is this.

                                   Alice Manning and Ronnie Fuller, both aged 11 ,and forced into a summer friendship by Alice's mother, attend another girl's birthday party. This is the popular group, whom Alice so much wants to be a part of, but her chances are ruined, when, in a dispute, Ronnie slaps the birthday girl's mother, across the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I say, "Good for you, Ronnie!" The bitch deserved it!!!!!!!!!!!  I wish I could tell you the adults I wanted to slap back then, and the contemporaries I want to slap now!!!!!!!!!

                                     The girls are banished from the party. Wandering home, they pass a Victorian style house, where a baby carriage is sitting, alone on a porch.  The girls look, and there is a baby inside. Thinking the child abandoned, they--Ronnie? Alice?--take the baby, confining her to a house in the woods. But something happens. Three days later, a rookie cop finds the child dead--who just happens to be the granddaughter of the town's prominent Black judge.

                                   Alice and Ronnie are in hot water, convicted, and sent to Juvie for seven years. Now, eighteen, they are released to their families, still living in town, advised not to see each other.
Ronnie gets a job in a local bagel shop, while Alice walks about town. But why????????/

                                     And then another child goes missing, after only two weeks...............

                                      What is great about this novel is that surrounding the mystery are woven all kinds of social issues--class distinctions in small town America, mother and daughter dynamics, the consequences thereof, and the importance of who to believe or not,when one is telling the truth. And the damage that can be done, when secrets are kept.  Not to mention bullying.

                                         I literally devoured the book. My beloved was in another room, while I read, and, at one point, I cried out, with exclamation, "Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!"  I can't tell you why, but it was enough to rouse him into the room, to see what was up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Laura Lippman was a name I had seen in book stores for years. The issue of child sociopathy is what drew me to this book.  But her writing is strong, and could draw me to others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             You will never forget Ronnie, and, especially, Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Sometime, BFF's are not a good thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!