Darlings, Did You See Amy's Sedaris' Valentine's Day Show???????????????????

                               I am talking about the "Good Amy," of course, meaning Amy Sedaris, she all in pink, and with that hair!  Amy, tell us how you do it!  Imagine, a Valentine's Day Show, in late May!
That is just what was needed during this pandemic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Chassie was on and so were Patty Hogg and Lesbo.  But I found this show exceptionally moving, because Amy did some things that made me wish I had seen this 20 years ago.

                                  The MOST touching thing resonating with me, dolls, was when Amy was making the Valentine Sugar Cookies, and writing on them.  On one she wrote the word "Spinster," and boy, did that take me back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Twenty years earlier, I was living by myself.  I did it, but was never happy about it, always wanting to find someone, not sure it would ever happen.  Oh, there were attempts, hons, but I would rather not talk about those.  Same with Amy, I am sure.

                                        Meanwhile, everyone on the show is trying to find a match for Amy.  Including Amy, who looked pretty cute, next to guest star Michael Cera.

                                          What Amy was trying to convey throughout the show, and especially with that "Spinster" cookie was that, while it is great to find someone, being by yourself is OK, too.  Amy was providing a lesson in self-comfort, and while I am happily not alone anymore, the idea of say, transporting back to that point in time, scares me.

                                               But then I am not comfortable with a lot, these days.  As can be told from some of the posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all those anguished spinsters still out there, listen to Amy, not Tennessee Williams!

Don't end up like this!

As she was trying to show us!

And Now, Darlings, Something To Lift You Out Of Your Seats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Melba Moore won a TONY Award for her performance in the musical, "Purlie," when it was on Broadway, back in 1970.  Just as audiences, in 1981, at "Dreamgirls," would wait for Jennifer Holiday (who also won a TONY as Effie!) to get to "that song," ("And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going") so audiences in 1970 could not wait to hear Melba sing "I Got Love!" live!  It was on the radio all the time, back then!

                               I have always to do this number.  But me sing in Melba's key?  Hons, I was just  not born that way?  I can, however, get through the first verse!  And for a 65-year-old tenor, that is pretty good!

                                 Need an uplift????????????   Listen to Melba, here!

                                 When was the last time someone like this blew you away?????????????????

Now, We Do a 180 Degree Switch, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Especially with a week like this, we all need something to touch the heart and lift us out of our seats.  Let's start with the heart.

                              Remember little Sydney Lucas, as Young Allision in "Fun Home?"  Well, she's not little anymore, she is almost seventeen, but her voice and manner is still moving.  She has a future; she could be the next Celia Keenan-Bolger!  Here she is with Nicole D'Angelo, of EPIC Players, a theater company for people with autism, singing "Ring Of Keys," from "Fun Home."  Both are good, but just wait till you hear Sydney!

                                This will surely be her signature song, as sure as "Tomorrow" is still Andrea McCardle's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Listen, and be inspired, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't Listen To Anything THIS Bitch Says!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      My God, this week has just been filled with bitches, or maybe my Bitch Meter is creeping up.  I hope that is all it is, and not just my blood pressure!

                                      This is Charlotte St. Martin.  She is President of The Broadway League.  Lord, what a name!  How pretentious.  She is probably really Cherry Protsky from Corona, Queens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        She has the nerve to say that Broadway will open in January, to full houses, everyone seating to each other--and wearing masks?

                                          Char, dear, whom are you kidding?  Yes, Theater Queens live for theater, but the operative word here is LIVE, not theater.  What you are proposing is a death sentence, another outbreak, more deaths, less people to go to the theater, anyway!  And what is the point?

                                            And get this, Char, you and all these dumb Venture Capitalists.  Just  because theaters and businesses are open, does not mean people will immediately run and go.  The real nuts well!  But those more sensible are going to be lots more cautious rather than have you putting business and commerce before human life.  All for a few bucks?  Fuck you!

                                               I can speak for myself, and others may agree with me.  I am not going anywhere--subway, restaurant, theater, bookstore, whatever, until I feel completely comfortable!  And that may take awhile.  As Patti Lu Pone said, and I posted on here, she doesn't see Broadway coming back, till the end of 2021!  And I am with her!

                                                Meanwhile, what about actors, like Patti, on stage?  So you are willing to put them at risk, too?????????????????

                                                 You stupid fools!  Go live among filth, if you all feel so immune!

Meet Amy Cooper, Currently The Most Hated Woman In New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      And before we even get to the Amy situation, there are reasons to call her that!

                                     Girls, can you imagine what a show like "At Home With Amy Cooper" would be like? It would take place in a black, cavernous abyss, with screams of torture from people and animals on the soundtrack.  Light would be minimal, but you could see a black mass of humanity, which would be Amy, showing only her monstrous face, surrounded by S and M, torture equipment!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I mean, at least in the film "Fatal Attraction," when Glenn Close was depressed, lighting the lamp on and off, with two unused tickets to "Madame Butterfly" sitting there, at that point in the film, one could feel sorry for her.  She was just a mess of loneliness.

                                         Not so Amy.

                                         To start with, the one to feel sorry for is the poor dog.  Not only is it not on a leash, but the video shows her holding it by the collar; at one point, his front paws are off the ground, because of this, and in another, the dog is twisting and writhing, because he is choking!

                                         Amy, you fucking bitch!  You should have been arrested, then!

                                        Now, I have no issues with Chris Cooper, but let me say I care more about the dog than him!  But I have to say he was right, in pointing out the leash law, and I applaud him for keeping his cool throughout the whole thing.  Had Amy and I crossed paths, it would have been a different story!  Bitch to bitch!

                                          Amy had the right to call the police.  But the whole thing was so calculated.
If she had just said, "Look, I am in the Ramble, and a man is threatening my dog and I," well, OK. The police could come and sort things out.  But as soon as she mentioned the man was "Afro_American," the race card is played, making her not only an object of animal cruelty, but a racist.  How might it gone down had Chris Cooper been white?

                                           People I have discussed this with say both could have walked away.  They are right.  Chris Cooper was there to bird watch.  Amy was there to take her dog to a dog park, but once she discovered it was closed, she should have put the leash on the dog, and gone her merry way!

                                            Chris had a reason to be there.  Amy should have leashed the dog, and gone somewhere else.  And I think she should be charged.  What is the NYPD afraid of?

                                              Amy deserved to be fired from her job.  Now, clean up the garbage in Central Park.

                                              And both were in The Ramble!  THE RAMBLE?  What are two presumably straight folk doing in a locale known for being one of the city's top centers for gay male action?

                                              Or is that no longer the case?  Or does it only happen at night?  I have known about The Ramble since the Eighties, and you couldn't get me in there at night, anyway! Are you kidding?

                                                One last thing.  Amy keeps being referred to as a "Karen."  I have never heard this term before.  Karen, to me, has never been a bitch name.  There was Karen on the Mouseketeers, Celeste Holm as Karen in "All About Eve," Karen Killilea, whose mother wrote about her daughter coping with Cerebral Palsy, in the Fifties.  And, of course, there is Karen Valentine, who played perky, wholesome, Alice Johnson, on "Room 222."

                                                    When I think of bitch names, I think of Brandy, Tiffany, Ariel, Brittany, Paige, or Andrea.  To see what I mean check out the "Cold Case" episode "The Sleepover," and the 'SVU' episode, "MEAN."

                                               The situation raises many questions.  Was Amy a terror to work with at her job?  What is her past history?

                                                 All that can be confirmed is she is a bitch.  Who are a bit like serial killers.

                                                  They are not born.  They are made.

Bitches Just Crawlin' Out From The Woodwork, These Days, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Peter Manfredonia, Amy Cooper, (whom I will have more to say about, later!) but most lethal of all is Patricia Ripley are all this week's bitch candidates!  If you thought Thomas Ripley was something in the Patricia Highsmith novels, this Ripley has her beat.  She is the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Even Patricia Highsmith would stay away from her!

                                   Of course, this happened in Florida, which is fast becoming unofficial Headquarters Of The Mothers From Hell, what with Patricia, Casey Anthony, and geriatric round heels tramp, Alice Crimmins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   So, just what did Patricia do?  She murdered a child.  Here's the scoop!

                                    Patricia and her husband, Aldo, were parents of a nine-year-old boy, named Alejandro.  The child was autusitc, big for his age, and could not speak, so it was getting difficult for Patricia to handle them.  I get that.

                                    But, instead of looking for help for this unfortunate boy, she led him to a canal in the Dade County area, and pushed him in.  Fortunately, two men saw the struggling boy--it is not clear if they saw Patricia push him in--so they rescued him.

                                        She also pulled a Susan Smith, saying, initially, the child was abducted!

                                       Did Patricia stop there?  Oh, no, she simply directed the poor dysfunctional boy, to another canal, which she drove to, tossed him in, he drowned, and she walked away.  The job was done!

                                          Have you ever heard anything more cruel and vicious, girls?????????????  All this woman had to do was call Child Services.

                                           Now, her hubby, Aldo, is sobbing, wanting his wife's name cleared.  Don't tell me he did not know what a bitch she was.  Don't tell me he did not know what she was planning to do, and, when she returned home later on Friday, May 22.  And don't tell me the husband should not be charged with his wife.  He is the one who is playing Susan Smith here, as the victim; the mother hasn't the sense to do that because she is a monster minus conscience.

                                              Poor Alejandro.  He deserved better.  May he get it from God in Heaven!

                                               As for you Patricia, your retribution is just beginning.

                                              You should be burnt at the stake on your nearest local beach, for being a witch!

                                                I have always said witch burnings should return!  This is a perfect
example why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Dense, Girls, But What A Worthy Read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Now that I have finished "Romola,"--a book I never thought I would get to--I have read all of George Eliot's books.  What on earth do I  do, now?

                                          While  thinking about that, I want to tell you that "Romola" is the ultimate historical-romantic read, and it sets an impossible gold standard both for its time, and ours.

                                              The time span is 17 years, from 1492--no, Columbus is not mentioned!!!!--to 1509.  Romola goes from being a timid little thing to having the strength and determination of Scarlett O'Hara!  The plot is straight out of opera, with all threads converging, and Eliot's descriptive details of Florence, Italy, while lengthy, are linguistically gorgeous, and add much to understanding the story taking place.  There is also a nod to the importance of libraries and archival work; I am telling you, "Romola" is crammed with so much, it has to be read slowly, to be savored, and then processed.

And did you know, back then, that peacock was a dining delicacy?   And it had to be served, just like this?  Whip up a delicious one tonight, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And read "Romola"  It will empower those who need it, and justify all who are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now That Amy Is Back, Wednesdays Give Us Something To Look Forward To!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Girls, did you see the opening episode of Amy's third season?

                                      She took a risk doing a show about women having babies, when, at 58, that ship has sailed, for her.  I know they say Sarah was 80. but what numerical scheme was in place, then?

                                         Amy looked fabulous in her colorful dress and that hair!!!!!!!!!!  Amy, honey, you have got to tell us where you get both.  At least, when things reopen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          I have a feeling this was shot before the pandemic!  We saw party girl Chassie Tucker, whom I just love, and my favorite, Patty Hogg, complete with her hubby, Lesbo.
Amy crammed so much into a half hour show--the whole process from discovery to delivery, a "Fatal Attraction" spoof that was spot on, Baby Yoga, and how to get that pre-baby figure back.   Which (and I include myself) would help even those of us without pre-baby figures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Throw into the mix not one but three guest stars--Laura Benanti, Jane Krakowski, and Justin Theroux!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I can't wait till next time!

                                               Maybe we will see Nutmeg, Ruth and Esther, and Liquor Lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Don't we all just love Amy?  You bet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time To Welcome Some More Girls, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Wow!  My follower indicator has jumped from 106 to 108!  If my posts help anyone during this time, I am glad of it.

                                  I want to introduce you to "Just Me" and "Leslie Tollefson.  Welcome to this blog, however you found your way here.  I can tell you, it is harder to write this, because I used to be a social butterfly, going to things all over town, and writing about them.  I haven't gone to anything in months.

                                    On June 14, my husband, David and I are going to watch Jessie Muller's concert online from Provincetown!  Jessie will be fabulous, and comfort to listen to that gorgeous voice, but LIVE is always better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       If I can up my technical skills, I am thinking of virtual tea and dainties, or maybe me singing a show song each day.  I always warm up vocally with "Frank Mills."  I can still do it.

                                         So, that's what some of you girls are in for!  Welcome our two newest, and, now, here is the blog's unofficial theme song!

                                           Enjoy!

Where Can I Get A REAL Milkshake, Girls????????????????????

                                                   I have a confession to make.  I am always jonesing for a milkshake, and the pandemic has really driven me wild!  So, on our Anniversary on May 8, since we could not go out to dinner, David brought home a vanilla milkshake from CARVEL.  We shared it, so I only had half.  But that was not the problem.

                                                    The best shakes I recall--from Diary Queen and the Mister Softee trucks--were not thick.  Oh, they were thicker than milk, but they were made for the consumer to drink them.  Ever since McDonald's came along, shake makers seem to think thicker is better.  Well it is not.  Trying to suck it out through a straw will exhaust one, and it is no fun eating a shake with a spoon.

                                                        I shouldn't even be talking about this, because I am a diabetic!
But that half shake was the first one I have had in 9 years!  Do I have to wait another 9 years?
Do I have to start sampling franchises, which will spike my sugar up?  What do I do?

                                                           I am sure Baskin Robbins isn't any better.  Their ice cream always tasted cheap, to me!

                                                             And when it comes to ice cream, I do not like cheap!

Let's Ask ANNA--How Do You Keep Your Singnature Hair Style, During This Pandemic, And How About Some Designer Masks?????????????

                                          I have no doubt ANNA is working furiously from home.

                                          But what about that hair?  Does Sally Hershberger herself come to the apartment and do the job?  And how is the mask thing handled?

                                            Speaking of masks, here are some designers I want--

                                             1. Imitation Schiaparelli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                             2. Balenciaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                             3. Christian Dior and La Croix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I want to walk out of my apartment looking like Baroness Pauline De Rothschild!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                So, ANNA, how about it!  Us girls want to know!

Sally, I know I am not ANNA, but could you make a house call?????????????  Unless my hair grows to your length, which I doubt, I won't know what to do.

I will to start wearing head coverings, like Little Edie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

54 Years Ago Tonight, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Happy Anniversary to "MAME," the favorite musical of my childhood.  And why not?  It was about a little boy around my age, who had a wealthy aunt living in New York City, which even then I wanted to go to, only he gets to do it, and has the most fantastic adventures, let alone sing one of the best show scores ever!

                                    I actually saw Angela Lansbury in a revival of the show, back in 1983.  Jane Connell was on hand, as Gooch, but the rest were not up to the originals.  But the orchestra on the Overture, oh, my God...……….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     The cast album is blaring right now, as I write this,   If ever I  could go back on time, this is one of the things I would go back to.

                                        Theater Queens of all ages should know "MAME."  The Original, not Lucille Ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Don't even think about that one!

So, Happy Birthday to "MAM E!"  You don't see shows, or marquees like this, anymore!

I was not able to find the Overture, but here are Jane Connell and Frankie Michaels (still the theater's youngest TONY Award Winner!!!) in the opening number, St. Bridget!  Is there a more perfect opening?  Imagine being in that first night audience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to think, Angela Lansbury is the only one of them still living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take A Look At Some REAL White Trash, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     These two have long been overdue for The Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, and today they get the prize.  This is Gregory McMichael and his son, Travis. who, some months back, were found to have hunted down Ahmed Arbery and shot him in cold blood, thinking he was a robber.  My only question to these two Bozos is, what were they doing in that neighborhood?  It looked too affluent for them; no "L'il Abner" type shacks barely standing, with the Confederate flag out front, which is just what I would expect from these two.

                                       Hell, I used to walk through all the neighborhoods of my home town, and no one took a shot at me!  Why didn't they just leave the guy alone?  Because they are White Trash, and bigoted, and even if it had turned out he, or his relations owned one of these houses, he still would have been shot at.  As for that shot of Arbery at the construction site, well, maybe he was just cooling down, after running a bit.

                                          These two dicks are headed for prison, and I hope both get cornholed.

                                           Addendum-- William "Roddie" Bryan, Jr., who filmed the incident, was arrested and charged with murder.  Of course, he should have intervened to stop, or try, but I am not sure he should be charged with murder.  To charge him as a moron--which he is--might be a legal precedent, but I propose a law on the books where people could be charged for being morons!

                                             Meanwhile, Daddy and Bubba will soon be pigs in the porker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Understand Why Some Readers Love It, But.....................

                                            I first read this twenty years ago, when a supervisor then at my work place recommended it to me.  I did not understand all the fuss.

                                             Time and age can change things--in my case, they sure did--so while I did not love the book, I saw its literary value.  The problem is with me, I like straight driven, linear, narrative novels.  I don't like gimmicks or techniques.  One reviewer called this "the best anti-novel since Nabokov's 'Pale Fire,' " and while I long to read that, now I know what I am in for.  And, by the way, there are a  lot of references to Nabokov, "Lolita," and Humbert.

                                               "Falubert's Parrot" is less a novel, and more the fictional meanderings of a pretentious British academic named Geoffrey Braithwaite, who muses on his life and marriage, as well as Flaubert's life, the creation and fuss over "Madame Bovary," and the short story "Un Coeur Simple," from which the novel's title is derived.

                                                  What the book made me want to do most is re-read "Madame Bovary>"  I don't have a copy on hand, so I will have to settle for Madame Da Farge!  Don't you just love her?

                                                     Recommended for literary types, but even they may find its technique a bit gimmicky and pretentious.

                                                       But, then  Julian Barnes is a mixed bag.  Some of his works have been simply wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          Alas...……………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Favorite Broadway Photo Of Mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Two days ago, Ethel Merman opened in "Gypsy," at the Broadway Theatre!
Can you believe that was 61 years ago, darlings?  I was all of four years old, and believe me I could have sat through it, back then, except I would have wanted to jump up on that stage, and play Baby June.

                                       This is the burlesque Christmas tree at Minsky's in the burlesque part of the show, in Act Two.  It is my greatest wish that some future production of "Gypsy"--whenever that may be--recreates this moment, as none of the others, unfortunately have, though I do not know why.

                                          As for "Gypsy," I have seen every Broadway Rose, save for Merman, and Linda Lavin.  But, then, her replacement run for Tyne lasted only a week!

                                           Love this tree, girls!  Its theatricality and color cheer me up every time!

We Have A New Reader, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Now, I do not know who it is, but the follower indicator recently jumped from 105 to106, so I just want to say welcome to said individual.  I have no idea how you found your way here, but I am glad you did.  Hope this blog entertains and informs you, and, as I tell all my girls, it goes great with coffee, which is always by my, when I write.

                                      So, welcome to our newest reader, stay safe, and here is this blog's unofficial theme song!

How Come These Two Never Played "Grey Gardens?"

                                    I have always loved Carol and Vicki as Eunice and Mama--I so want to play Mama--and I crack up over Eunice's hair and outfit, which reminds me of a late friend of my late mother's.  During this anxious time, when I have needed a pick me up, I tune in to some of these sketches on You Tube, and they never cease to crack me up.

                                     My three favorites are--"Teacher's Dilemma," with Maggie Smith
                                                                            "Home For The Holidays," with Alan Alda in a role I
                                                                                have actually lived!

                                                                              "The Attic--" where Eunice and sibling Ellen (Betty
                                                                                   White) really go at it!

                                     My favorite line is from Mama in "Teacher's Dilemma," when she says to Eunice, "To this very day, Anne Marie Bittner's mother will not speak to me!"  That takes me back to my home town of Highland Park, New Jersey,  where, believe me, there were plenty of Anne Marie Bittners, female and male!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The whole "Grey Gardens" thing popped into my mind, just this morning.  Wouldn't Vicki be great as Big Edie, and Carol as Little Edie?  They did so many great film spoofs on the show, I cannot believe they did not try this!   They could still do it now, even older.  As for the musical, it would be interesting to see how these two, who do have musical experience, handle it.

                                           Carol and Vicki as the Two Edies?  Why did no one think of it before?

Some Of The Most Satisfying Fiction I Have Read This Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Believe it or not, girls, I got this book from Patti Lu Pone!  Not personally; if one logs onto her website, and see links, there is a list of book recommendations by Patti, and I commend her, because, in addition to being a consummate artist, she is quite a reader, one after my own heart!

                                      Of course, as a Theater Queen I would love to have a show discussion with Patti, but I think Patti would have more fun with a book discussion.  I mean, how many times can she be asked how many times the lamb pooped on stage each night in "Gypsy?"  I bet Laura Benanti knows!

                                      I had never heard of this novel or Wallace Stegner till I got onto Patti's site.

                                      I bought the book right away, but it has been sitting in my pile for ages.  One thing this pandemic has done that is good is force me to read books I thought I never would get to.
And here I found a gem.

                                        "Angle Of Repose" is two stories in one.  In 1970, Lyman Ward, a retired history professor, confined to a wheel chair with a debilitating bone disease that leaves him paralyzed, talks into a tape recorder, and with a student assistant, delves into files that records that unearth the story of his grandfather, Oliver Ward, whom he always worshipped, while laying bare some not so pleasant truths about him, their marriage, his grandmother's accomplishments, and her failings.

                                         For all of its 632 pages--which I just raced through, I was enthralled.  A book has not gotten me this excited in awhile, and that is saying something, darlings. So, I want you all to order a copy online--bookstores are not open, so that is what one must do--and you will be in for a thrilling and memorable reading experience.  I knew that whatever I followed it up with, would be a tough act to follow!

                                            So read "Angle Of Repose."  It is a MUST!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            And thanks, Patti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do NOT Go To The Beach, This Memorial Day Weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    OK, girls, here is the thing!

                                    All my life, the period from Memorial to Labor Day have always been the most magical 80 plus days of the year.  This year, that magic is going to have to be man made, and I have some ideas.

                                      But first, let me say, while Govs. Cuomo and Murphy, along with Dr. Barbot, have been the sanest to listen to, I have to wonder about Murphy's decision to open up the beaches.


                                       Hon, are you crazy?

                                       And, people, if you go you are even crazier!

                                       Just look at this picture!  That is what you will get!  Whatever is open will be mobbed, and possibly more pandemonium, like at the Cape Cod Polar Cave Ice Cream Parlor, because people will use frustration as an excuse to throw all caution to the winds.  Which means more COVID19 spiking, and how about the children, now?  Children are so seduced by amusement parks; I was at that age, so they will just go running anywhere they please.

                                        And here is something else.  It's not going to be like other summers.  Beach capacity will be limited, and enforced, so will masks, and social distancing, and the rides and arcades are going to remain closed.   So, darlings, what is the point of even going?

                                         But some will.  And with all the talk about the virus returning in the Fall, look no further than here.

                                          Decisions like opening beaches, and disregard for rules, will cause another spike in the pandemic!

                                          However, there is a remedy to all this.  You can have the beach experience in your house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, let me tell you, you can have your own beach experience at home.  You can be a "Beach Bunny, Catchin' Rays!"  Here is how to do it.

For the rays, pull up all the shades in your living room, so the sunlight comes pouring in.

Next, put on your favorite, and most fetching bikini!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Third, get some props--a plastic palm tree, a Summer umbrella and beach chairs!

Make sure there are plenty of cool drinks on hand, because, for sure, girls, you are going to want to drink!  Alcohol or not, who cares, as long as it is cool and refreshing??????????????

Lastly turn on whatever music device you use, and swing and sway to Connie Francis, singing "Where The Boys Are!"

Here is Connie to sing it for you!

So, who needs to go to the beach!

Keep your sanity, and your health, as well as those of others!

Is Donald Trump Getting Too Easy And Breezy, With His "Cover Girl?????????????????????"

                                      I steer away from writing about Trump, not only because he is not that interesting to me, but because, others, such as Steven Colbert, and Colin Jost and Michael Che, are doing a far better job than I ever could.

                                        When he was just a businessman, and even on "The Apprentice," I could ignore him.  I never watched the show, and what do I know, or care about business?

                                            Once he became President, in 2016, and was front and center, he was pretty hard to miss.

                                              I always steered clear, till, recently, when something came to me.

                                               This is the standard Trump gaze.  He never smiles, or seems happy, even if he is.  When I first saw how red his face was, and that he was in his seventies, I thought he looked apoplectic.  I thought any minute he was going to have a heart attack or a stroke, and I am amazed the it has not happened.

                                                  But, then I got to thinking.  His look is not due to health, but to make-up!  That's right, girls!  This homophobe is using easy, breezy Cover Girl.  The trouble is he is using too much of it!

                                                   Poor Melania!  I feel sorry for her!  She knows the score, when it comes to make-up, so one would think he would take some pointers from her!  I know I would!
And I  bet she has given some, but he is too dumb to listen!

                                                      So, go on looking like a jackass!

                                                       And for those readers who criticize me about writing about someone being "White Trash," well, just look here!  Donald Trump is proof positive that one does not have to be poor, to be considered White Trash!

A Whole Community Of Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It was the Friday before Mother's Day--so that would have been May 8, and the owner, Mark Lawrence, decided to open up for the weekend.  Whether this was wise or not is to be debated elsewhere, because he had set up specific rules and guidelines for customers still in the midst of the pandemic!.  For one thing, all customer orders had to be phoned in, one hour in advance.  Makes sense to me.

                               Now, remember, this is Cape Cod, which Patti Page, back in 1957, sang that one was sure to fall in love with.  Well, now that has been eradicated.

                                Because no one heeded Lawrence's guidelines!  Customers stormed the place, like it was the Bastille, shouting, yelling cursing, demanding, from entitlement, their ice cream, harassing one of the employees, a teenaged girl, so much, she quit.  But, to her credit, she stuck out her shift!  Lawrence said she was one of his best workers.  And now has started a Go Fund Page for her, as she was working there, to save for school  Good for him!

                                  As for these customers, collectively they are the winners of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!  And mark my words, this will happen again and again, as businesses try and open up.

                                   This pandemic is showing both the best and worst in people.

                                    I fear we have more of a problem with the worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Here is Patti, singing of what Cape Cod SHOULD be!  May it soothe some stressed out nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Movie Once Had A Better Title!!!!!!!!!!!! But It Still Would Not Have Saved It From Being Crummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                "Monster From The Ocean Floor," was made in my birth year, 1954.  It is recognized as the first film to be produced by Roger Corman, which explains a lot.  He had a great title for the film--"It Stalked The Ocean Floor,"--but the fly by night company that released this, Palo Alto, thought it was too "artsy."  Big deal for them, because what other films did this company make?

                                  Now, I love the sound of the title, but when closely examined, I had to ask myself whether it made any sense?  Things are stalking the ocean floor ever minute, even  as I write this.  However, none of them come up on land to bother us, so what would be the point of the film?
We have enough happening to us on land, today, as it is!

                                  So, if something is simply stalking the ocean floor, and not coming up, how can it harm anybody?  So, I have to confess, I think the film company was right!

                                   Now, the released title, "Monster From The Ocean Floor," promises chills and thrills.  I mean, look at the poster!  This should have been a terror fest, but it was shown on "Chiller Theatre" periodically during my Sixties childhood, and it paled beside something like "The Monster Of Piedras Blancas."  Or "The Hideous Sun Demon."

Now, take a look at this shot.  From my memory, this is all that is seen of the monster.  Some kind of one eyed octopus popping up, and looking toward land.  Sure, there were victims, but how did they get killed, if this is as close as the creature they came?  Maybe they were killed in the water, like Chrissy, in the frightening opening of 1975's "JAWS!"  That certainly is a possibility.

To think, in just two years, Corman would create his star-making monster, "Cucumbo," in 1956's "It Conquered The World."  To this day, no AIP creation, outside of Sandra Harrison's monster make-up in 1957's "Blood Of Dracula," has equaled him (ie; Cucumbo).

So maybe it is good the original title was not used.  While the words promise much, they do not make sense.  But, then neither does this movie!

However, with a less enticing title, perhaps the audience will feel less cheated!

Since We Are All Being Forced To Live, Like Jane Austen, Why Don't We Just BECOME Jane Austen?????????????

                                  I thought this would be the perfect piece, after "The Bostonians."

                                  Like in the days of Jane Austen, our living rooms have become our home.   So, why not add to the festivity, by wearing a Jane Austen gown?  Not one for a ball, but something simple and plain, which Jane might wear on an ordinary day, when she would be writing.

                                    I wish I had Mammy, like Scarlett, or some assistant, to go online, and find me a Jane Austen type dress pattern that I could wear.  Then my social isolation would be complete, because it would finally have the style, which was so prevalent in Jane's era.

                                     I don't expect it would make me write, like Jane--who could?--but it would add the elegance of gracious living to getting through these hard times!

                                      Any ideas, darlings????????????????

                                      Start designing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, If You Have Not Read "The Bostonians," You Simply MUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Oh, my God, darlings!

                                    I first read "The Bostonians," back around 1984, after having seen the movie,
with Vanessa Redgrave (how did they make her so ugly?) as Olive Chnacellor, Christopher Reeve, as a perfectly handsome Basil Ransom, even if he was out of his acting comfort zone, and the pig snouted Madeline Potter, who was not nearly pretty enough for the role of Verena Tarrant.

                                      What a difference 36 years can make.  On a second reading, this is one of the best sexual comedy of manners, if not the best.  And only I, darlings, would associate this with "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?," which shall eventually be explained.

                                          Olive Chancellor, without Henry James--oh, the language, the sentences, the breadth and depth of his prose, and the wit of his sentences, which makes for another reason to read the book--saying a word, is literature's most repressed lesbian.  I am telling you, Stephen in Radclyfffe Hall's "The Well Of Loneliness," does not even come close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Olive is smitten with this little martinet named Verena Tarrant.  She is a pubescent lass, who should be pretty, like a young Kate Winslet, and, with her parents as her
jailers, performs these loquacious speeches, as she is somehow gifted with this talent.  Here is where the 'Baby Jane' thing comes into play--the Tarrants knowingly and willingly exploit their daughter, because when Olive offers money to take Verena off their hands, so she can live with her, offering financial recompense for this, the parents jump at the chance.

                                            Poor Verena.  You have to feel sorry for her, darlings!  She is being torn apart in all directions by her parents and Olive.  Then along comes a young Southern man, Basil Ransom, who sort of awakens Verena to her sexuality, and begins to have her question the merit of what she is actually doing.

                                              The situation is both comic and tragic.  This poor girl is allowed to have no real identity, yet four people are tearing her apart to find the right one to suit themselves, not her.

                                                Only Henry James could write it.  And his last sentence is a real stinger; it defines the solution perfectly.  When I closed the book, I said, "He's right!"

                                                   So, girls, get out your lace tablecloths, your tea pot, cozy, cup and saucer, milk, lemon or sugar, and curl up with this deliciously acerbic take on sexual empowerment, and what defines the sexes.  It is one of James' forgotten books, but it deserves to be remembered, and re-examined.

                                                   Because, darlings, it is a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Happy Mother's Day to all those out there, and to those, like mine, who are at rest and peace.

                                   Oh, there are all kinds of mothers, darlings!  There is Joan Crawford sacrificing herself for her vicious daughter, in "Mildred Pierce," Barbara Stanwyck doing the same for her sweet daughter in 1937's Stella Dallas, and Joan, as a former mental patient, again stepping in for a wretched daughter, at the climax of 1964's "Strait-Jacket."  Lucy Harbin!  We LOVE that crazy bitch!

                                      And how about Betsy Palmer, as Mrs. Voorhees, in 1980's "Friday The 13th?"
Who could forget those teeth, and her delightful mantra, "Kill her, Mommy, kill her!"?

                                       But, I am telling you, the mother of them all to salute today is Margaret Wycherly, in her chilling performance as Ma Jarrett, in 1949's "White Heat."  Oedipal complex and all, she is the one, not Cagney, who has the balls in this household, especially when he goes nuts, upon hearing of her death, in the prison cafeteria.  But she did help him reach "the top of the world," as Cagney proves in the famous climax.

                                           No doubt, she was based on the real Kate "Ma Barker," who had a whole crop or criminal kids!  And ran them, as a gang!

                                          One thing I gotta say for Ma Jarrett.  She was not a child killer.

                                           Not like the worst of all, Susan Smith!  Pure White Trash, who thought she could move up, but couldn't.  She had a cute husband, then, two cute boys who would have inherited their father's looks, and she was not bad looking, herself, then.  But she went and murdered those babies in 1994. so she is the Worst Mother Of All.  Now she is a fat piece of garbage in prison.

                                             So, Happy Mother's Day to all the REAL mothers out there!

                                             Domesticity just would not be the same!

                                              Even with gay men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Now, girls, let me explain.  We--David and I--have not one--but two anniversaries.  The first is January 10, 2017, when we were married,  That is the picture being shown here.

                                 The other anniversary is today, because, at the now defunct Riviera Café in the West Village, this is where we met for the first time,

                                   It was a Saturday, and I had to work.  I had my rainbow umbrella, because I always carried it as a homage to "The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg," and, since David had not yet met me, it would stand out.

                                  It sure did.  The meeting went something like above, and we have seldom been apart, since.  Which is how we both want it.

                                   Ten years ago today, darlings!  Can you believe it?  Who would have thought I would now be 65, retired from my job, and living in New York, during a pandemic?

                                     I thank God every day, for my David, and I am so happy!

                                    Let's start the countdown to twenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!