So Long, August!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Well, girls, that's it for this month!  Just think...the Reunion....the Woodstock Anniversary...Roberta....not to mention the tenth (I can't believe it has been THAT many years) year of the births of my great -nephew and niece, Will and Fiona!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you imagine??????????????

                                 So, where are we now, darlings?  Two thirds through 2013, and, with "ber" months to follow, a plethora of cultural and literary events!  Like the return of Donna Tartt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  It was a memorable Summer, girls, thanks to all of you, and my beloved Monsieur!
Who knows what the last third will bring????????  My birthday falls in that period, darlings!!!!!!!!  Hint! Hint!  Wink! Wink!

                                   And to you especially Dizzy Queens, don't look at this pic, and think of walking into the ocean, like James Mason,as Norman Maine, in "A Star Is Born!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    Farewell to you all in August, darlings!!!!!!!!!  Like the song says--

                                     "See you in September!"

Girls, This Is No Mama Michelle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Well, actually she is, but not in looks or anything else is she any Michelle Phillips.  Just when you think it can't get worse, it does.  While Gemma Killeen still gets First Prize for evil, Mama Michelle is not that far behind!

                                   She was a sexual sadist!  She and her boy friend, James Daveggio teamed up, rigged their minivan for torture, and would pick up girls and sadistically abuse them.  One, Vanessa Lei  Samson, 22, they killed, and left on the road for dead!  But the corker of all was when Michelle allowed James to have sex with her 13-year-old daughter!!!!!!  And she watched, and took pleasure in it!

                                    Now, the explanation for all this is that they were high on meth, and their addictions fueled all this sadism!  But I don't think so!  It takes more than drugs to create this kind of sickness, and I would love to know more about Michelle and James' backgrounds!!!!!!!!!!!  You can bet there was some kind of abuse and sickness in their upbringings.

                                     It would be so easy to say these two read "The Monsters On The Moors," and were trying to pattern themselves after Ian Brady and Myra Hindley.  But I don't think these two were literate enough for "Good Night, Moon;" and, if they were, they would have bypassed it for "Mein Kampf!!!!!!!!"   However, as you can see, Michelle has no sense of style, and at the very, VERY least, Myra Hindley, and, even Ian Brady, did!  Not that that excuses those sickos, not for one second, I can tell you!  But Michelle and James hadn't such style; they were just Poor White Trash!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     And, now, both are on Death Row; it's  a wonder they have not been executed yet!  Get rid of these pieces of garbage; cremate them and sweep them out to dry!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      As for Michelle's daughter, I hope she spat in her mother's face, and bitch slapped James!!!!!!!!  Castrate him, with a pair of tongs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   But, at least, got some psychotherapy, so she
can move on from these two!

                                      On "Deadly Women" last night, Candace De Long, who coined the phrase, "If a psychopath is not manipulating someone....they;re not having any fun," said, of all the female killers she has professionally studied, Michelle is one of  the worst.  She is in the Top Ten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         The only makeover that will cure this bitch is a permanent wave....with 500 volts of electricity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"On A Picnic Morning, Without A Warning," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Girls, can you believe we have come to Labor Day Weekend?  The time when, on the evening of such, ABC-TV, back in my day used to annually air "Picnic" on the 11:30 PM Movie?  No wonder Susan Strasberg looks so glum; not only have those days gone, but when your sister is Kim Novak, in a stunning, diaphanous, pink gown, what chance has a girl got?  And poor Susan has been gone from us for 15 years now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But, honestly, where has the Summer gone?  While we technically have three more weeks left, let's face it, after this weekend, this is The End!  Amusements shut down, schools open, and the long, hard Winter sets in!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I have said this before, and say it again; it bears repeating.  Even with school an ever more distant experience for some of us, Summer is still the fastest going season of all!  It just flies!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      So, I want to wish all my girls a fantastic Labor Day Weekend!  Do that "Moonglow " dance yourselves, dolls!

                                        But, girls, for those who are single, if a Hal Carter walks into your lives, first check out his stock options!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have The Times Really "A' Changed," Darlings????????????????

                                        Or is History repeating itself, girls????????  With the potential for outbreak of war in Syria--which I think is a mistake, darlings--and protests already in the streets, has the Aquairian Age returned??????  When it comes right down to it, did it ever really go away??????????

                                          War is scary under any prospect.  With today's technological advancements that were not around during the Sixties, with nuclear holocaust more of a possibility, my fear is that, as we move into this more Strangelovian  Age, things become more, well...Strangelovian......with Dick Cheney, or his like riding bronco on the bomb, to a fare thee well as the World explodes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Oh, well, "We'll meet again............."

                                             But, please, darlings, not too soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Have Finally Figured Christine Out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 "Everyone hates me, --yes, yes!
                                                  Being the Mayoress, yes.
                                                  All of the peasants
                                                  Throw rocks in my presence,
                                                   Which causes me nervous distress, yes!
                                                    Oooh, Oooooooooh, Oooh, Oooh,
                                                         Oooooooooh!

                                                    Me and my town, battered about.
                                                    Everyone in it would like to get out.
                                                    But me and my town,
                                                    We just wanna be loved."
                                                       --Stephen Sondheim, "Me And My Town,"
                                                     "Anyone Can Whistle" (1964)
                                   
                                       Who would have thought Musical Theater would provide the answer?   But, then, doesn't it always, sometimes, darlings?  With "Anyone Can Whistle" curiously on my mind this week, as I thought over the score, I thought about Christine Quinn.

                                           Let's face it, things can't be too lovey dovey over at Quinn Campaign Headquarters these days!!!!!!!!!  About as upbeat as spending a Forties, wartime summer, in Bergen Belsen!!!!!!!!!

                                             Woe to those working now for Christine. But woe to us more, if she gets elected!!!!!!  Because, do you know what she is really doing, girls??????????

                                               She is auditioning for the role of Cora Hoover Hooper!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Cora, of course, is the corrupt, villainous Mayor at the heart of "Anyone Can
Whistle."  She was portrayed originally by the great Angela Lansbury, for whom this was her first venture onto the musical stage.

                                                Thanks to Cora and the show, girls, I have Christine figured out now!  It is not too difficult to imagine her going home, kicking off her heels, belting back a few brewskies, putting on the
Original Cast Album  of the show, and singing and dancing her way across the room to "Me and My Town."  I am not saying it is talented, or pretty....it just IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  If Christine is elected Mayor, do you know what will happen, loves????? Not only will this become her town, she will BECOME CORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   I would much rather have Angela Lansbury, herself, as Mayor.  Maybe she will be my write-in candidate.  As for Christine/Cora, as the character says in the show---

                                                     "Dry, boys, dry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We Want Tovah!!!!!!!!!!! We Want Tovah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       On September 22, darlings, Andrea Martin, will play the final performance of  her TONY Award-winning role of Berthe in "Pippin," moving on to start work on a Canadian comedy series, called "Working The Engels."  I wish Andrea the best, but I have something I want to say directly, right now, to the producers and businessmen involved with this production--

                                          "You smug little men, with your smug little schemes!
                                            You forgot one thing!
                                             The rest of the world isn't all like you!
                                              There are heroes in the world, Princes and heroes
                                                  in the world!
                                               And one of them will save us, wait and see,
                                                   Wait and see.................."
                                                 ---Stephen Sondheim, "There Won't Be Trumpets,"
                                                       "Anyone Can Whistle" (1964)

                                            Why?  Well, according to what I have read, a replacement is going to be announced at a later time. What the hell are they taking about?  They have already found their replacement!
I am talking, of course, about Tovah Feldshuh, who filled in for Andrea during her vacation.  Which I kind
of thought was a warm up exercise to her taking on the role permanently, only I did not expect this to happen so soon! So, what are these jerks pulling????????????

                                               Now, to be fair, I have not talked to Tovah, so I do not know what is on
her plate.  Maybe she has other commitments.  Maybe she does not want to take on a long run.  Hey, darlings, it IS her call!!!!!!!!!!!  But those of us who love her would just relish seeing her in this role, doing those acrobatics, while belting out "No Time At All."  Which you know damn well, she can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Another thing these show biz yokels should stop to consider is box-office."Pippin" has been doing well for a variety of reasons, one of whom happens to be Andrea!  I am speaking for myself, here, if Tovah goes in, I am there--and I had never planned on seeing this production, largely because I saw the 1972 Bob Fosse original, and what could top that, plus my aesthetically inclined aversion to director Diane Paulus.  But Tovah??????   I would see "Pippin" for her!  Hell, if Paulus directed
Samuel Beckett's "Happy Days" with Tovah, I would probably see it!

                                                  So, what do these rubes think they are doing?  Get on the ball, and sign
Tovah at once!  You guarantee a built in audience right there, and more for "Pippin's:" box-office coffers!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Only idiots would think otherwise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



 

Girls, I Am Telling You, This Is One Of The Most Evil Bitches On Here!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            The picture is just perfect, darlings, because the sweeter the look, the more evil lurking behind it. And Gemma Killeen is EVIL!!!!!!!!!  Not only is she the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award, she also wins the Susan Smith Motherhood Award.  She and Susan are two peas in a pod, and, when I saw this dramatized the other night on "Deadly Women," I knew I had not only found this week's winner, but possibly the most upsetting crime since the murder of Jamie Bulger.

                                             Gemma was a girl who liked to party.  She parties her way into the arms of Eddie Wetere, who knocked her up, and she gave birth to an adorable boy, nicknamed Kayden.  The sweetest little thing you could hope to see.  I am not sure if Eddie and Gemma got married, but they tried coexisting as parents, but the more motherhood imposed its responsibilities, the more Gemma wanted to
party. Not unlike that similarly inclined skank from Florida, named Casey Anthony!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Eddie was willing to take on parental duties, and so was Gemma's mother.  But not all the time; Gemma, as Mom told her, had to realize motherhood was a 24/7 job.  Well, that just did not go down well with Miss Gemma, and finally she reached her boiling point, where she did something so heinous, I would like to see the same thing done to her.

                                                  On November 25, 2010 Gemma drove with Kayden to Hillary's Boat Harbor (This was all in the area surrounding Perth, Australia.) . She removed Kayden from the car, took him down to the rocky embankment, where the tide was coming in, and left him there.  This poor sweet child had no idea what or why this was being done to him, and, inevitably, he drowned.  Then, Gemma dashed back to another site, and, when it was too late, called for help, saying, not unlike Susan Smith, that Kayden had been kidnapped.  Yeah, right.  When the child's body was found floating, obviously drowned in the water, it did not take long to figure out who did it.  Gemma claimed she never intended to harm Kayden--she just wanted to get Eddie's attention, and jump start their on again, off again, relationship.  Yeah, jump start it to termination!  You think Eddie will go near you now, you sick bitch???????????????

                                                      Gemma was tried, found guilty, and given Life, with a minimum of 13 years.  But don't worry; when that time is reached, I don't think Gemma will be going anywhere.  You think people will want her paroled?  You think, even if she were issued a new identity, people won't forget, and track her down?  Don't kid yourself. Who knows; maybe Gemma is getting the rough treatment from some of the female inmates.  Why don't they do a re-enactment of "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson?  Gemma made an innocent child suffer, and two families as well, she deserves to suffer, too.

                                                         And who knows, she may be.  I love how, in the wrap-up, profi

ler Candace De Long, whom we all know and love, said there is a special place in Hell, reserved for Gemma.  But not even Satan wants her there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          You have to be BAD to be rejected by Satan!  Which makes Gemma not only perfect for Bitch Of The Week, but one of the most evil figures on here!

                                                             She and Casey Anthony should be the main course at the next Hell
Holiday Barbecue, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                As for Kayden, my wish is he was scooped up caressingly by loving angels, who have taken him to a place where he will be perpetually loved.  Your mother may not have loved you, Kayden, but there are plenty on Earth who do, and mourn your passing!

                                                                  Mama will get hers, kid!  Don't worry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

Lee Owns This, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        The first time I ever heard the song "There Won't Be Trumpets," from "Anyone Can Whistle," was back in 1977, when I saw Millicent Martin in the revue, "Side By Side By Sondheim."  A song she repeats on the cast album of said show.  As I heard it, the first thing I asked, "Why on earth was this gorgeous song cut?"   And I always wondered how it worked into the dramatic fabric of the show.

                                          It was not until the release of another anthology, sometime in the Eighties--I cannot even recall it, darlings--that one got to hear the originator of this song--the great dramatic actress Lee Remick.  I can recall being completely blown away, because, good as she was, who would have thought Lee had the vocal chops for musical theater?  And I have heard, over the years, many renditions of this song, but none can touch Lee's.   I cut my teeth on it, and when I sing the song myself, Lee's is the one I learned how
to from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         So, for jaded Theater Queens, who need a pick-me-up, or those who have never experienced it, yet, here is Lee Remick singing "There Won't Be Trumpets" from the Original Broadway production of "Anyone Can Whistle," back in 1964, at the Majestic Theatre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          You will never forget it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to, frm

Justice Will Finally Be Rendered Tonight, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Finally.....FINALLY....it seems like someone out there is listening to me!  Because tonight, at 7:45 PM, the Broadway lights are going to be dimmed, for a full minute, in honor of the passing of the legendary Julie Harris!!!!!!!!!!!!  As I said they should several days ago on here, when I learned the sad news of Harris' passing.

                                           How many times do Theater Queens play Time Travel?  The question is--if you could go back in time, what show would you like to see.  Most Theater Queens choose musicals, and I can tell you, without  blinking, that my first choice there would have been the Original production of "Follies!"

                                             But, when it comes to drama, or non-musicals, I would wager the choice comes down to one of two titles, both by Tennessee Williams--the Original productions of either "The Glass Menagerie," or "A Streetcar Named Desire."  Not bad choices, those, but for me, one towers above them all.

                                              My choice would have been "The Member Of The Wedding," with that celebrated Broadway triumvirate Julie Harris, Ethel Waters, and Brandon De Wilde!!!!!!!!  Without question!

                                                So, maybe, as the lights dim, Julie, Ethel and Brandon will gather around that kitchen table one more time, while Ethel holds them, and sings "His Eye Is On The Sparrow."  A moment that is repeated in the 1952 movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   At least, that is what I will be thinking of, then, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, After "No One Mourns The Wicked," Which Was So Good I Had To Watch It A Second Time Last Night, "Built For Speed" Paled By Comparison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Let's face it, girls, after Dr. Victoria Nolan, how do you top that?  So, last night's episode of "Rizzoli And Isles" was something of a disappointment.  The one redeemable thing about "Built For Speed" is it let the light shine a little more  brightly on the lovely Sasha Alexander as the equally lovely, and brilliant, Dr. Maura Isles.  It introduced this striking new character, B.T., played by Eric Winter, whom Maura clearly had eyes for.  I hope he comes back, because, darlings, let me tell you, he is easy on my tired old eyes, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    This whole potential liaison thing overrode the actual story, which involved a murder at a local (and illegal) drag racing event.  Martinez, Jane's nemesis, was seen on film there, so I was kind of hoping this would bring him down, and get him off the show.  Too bad Frankie wasn't seen there; he may be good hearted, but he needs to get off the show.  The whole thing, where it turns out to be a female parole officer on the make, was just too dull to be compelling.  Jane had the best line, when she said to Maura,
regarding her potential romance with B.T.--"Well,  your last boy friend was Dennis, the serial killer!" She was right!

                                     So, let us hope that, for  Maura's sake, and ours, more of B.T. is seen.  And I mean MORE, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!  Meanwhile, with two shows remaining, (so the announcement claimed last night!!!!!!!) things are coming down to the wire, with questions remaining.

                                       Will Hope be back?????????????

                                         Was last night Frost's last episode?  Or which one?

                                           How will the writers cover his character no longer being there?

                                           Since last night's episode was a dud--it could be said the only disappointing one of the season--let us hope these next two are a blast!  With the Season Finale a stunner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Just stay tuned, girls, and I will let you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




regarding

Girls, Before You Read The New Marisha Pessl, Try Reading The Old One!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           There are two things I want to say, up front, about my second reading of "Special Topics In Calamity Physics."  The first is that it holds up extremely well.  The second is that Pessl, and future writers, owe a debt of gratitude to Donna Tartt, for having patented, back in 1992, the Intellectual Murder Mystery, via her signature work, "The Secret History," which made Pessl's book and Tana French's "The Likeness" possible.  Because all three use the same structure--an exclusive school, with a group of academically promising students circling around a charismatic, unconventional teacher on the faculty.  While I am not going to hold my breath, I do wonder who will be the next writer to use this technique.  And whether or not Donna
Tartt should start collecting commissions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Structure is key to Pessl's book, and for those who thrive on it, and on academia, it is just perfect.  Its chapter headings are each titles of famous literary works; so that that the whole thing is set up like the syllabus for an AP English class.  And within each chapter something happens that makes it fit the title.  The trick is finding out.  If you have never taken AP English, or read the masterworks cited, you might find this rough going--or you may be stimulated to read the works in question.
I know there were one or two even I have not read, and I am bound and determined to--one of them is an Agatha Christie work.

                                                Blue Van Meer, the brilliant AP high school senior, and her equally brilliant, if psychologically erratic, professor father, Gareth,  are the lead players.  Hannah Schneider, who teachers Intro To Film. at Blue's school, with Antonioni's "L'Avventura" key to both the course and the book, and five other students--Nigel, Jade, Lula, Zach and Charles--with whom she becomes conjoined  There is a camping trip, and something unfortunate happens to Hannah.  The rest of the novel has Blue trying not only to ravel the
mystery of what happened, but, in the process, discovering truths about her own life that are enough to leave one permanently disillusioned, but in Blue's case, seem to set her free.  She is one of fiction's more able and
resourceful teens, which is why one does not fear for her at the end--she will be just fine.

                                                  However, unlike Donna Tartt, Pessl leaves the question of whodunit open ended.  I, for one, cannot fathom an answer, though there is equal weight for two potential suspects, but not
precisely enough evidence on each to prosecute them.  So Pessl leaves it up to the reader.

                                                     You will have to tell me, girls, when you read the book!   Over tea, with cakes and dainties, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

               

This Is No Maxim De Winter From "Rebecca," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Far from it!  Maxwell Sherman might sound like a name straight from the pages of Daphne Du Maurier's  novel, but you can just tell this guy is trouble. And what has he done?

                                     This piece of scum, who hails from affluent Long Beach, Long Island was arrested for murdering Lauren Daverin, whose body was found on a footbridge near her Rockville Center home.

                                       Both were eighteen.  Lauren was married to a man in the military, and while she may have been a bit wild, she did not deserve this.

                                        Sherman was a loser who was freeloading at his parents' second home, out on Long Beach.  He was a druggie, who had a history of being in trouble with the law, and I am willing to bet  he was high when he and Lauren crossed fateful paths on  that bridge, the night of August 22.  He also wanted a tussle with this reputedly Wild Thing, and when she would not comply, the scum raped and strangled her.

                                          Most eighteen-year-olds spend their summer getting ready for college. There is no evidence to support that Sherman graduated high school; let's face it, he is not Ivy League material. From the looks of things, even if he had not murdered Lauren, I don't think he could have gotten into the local community college.

                                            Now, he will most likely, and deservedly, be off to prison, where he should receive, not a Bachelor's Degree, but a Life Term!  Good riddance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               It just goes to prove everything cannot be blamed on New Jersey. To paraphrase someone I know, who hails from Long Island, Long Island is just Jersey on the opposite side of the Hudson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                And, as Bette Davis once said, "Honey child has a point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                             

Everyone Reacts Differently To The Dog Days Of Summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 With August winding down, and this weekend not only being Labor Day, but commencing what I call the "ber" months, from which point you can just about say the years is wrapped up, we are definitely in the Dog Days Of Summer.  And what I am feeling is typical, for me, darlings, but I need some suggestions on what to do about it.

                                     My feeling of late is that of the bright child in school who is not challenged enough.  A position I have been in before, but odd to be cropping up now.

                                       The Summer began well, with me reading "Anna Karenina."  Now, THAT was stimulating.  Not that I have not stopped reading; in fact my current reading--a second, of Marisha Pessl's "Special Topics In Calamity Physics" is not only stimulating and bracing, but may also be prompting these feelings in me, for, while she is pursuing a murder mystery, the book's heroine, a young high school senior, named Blue Van Meer, is currently taking every Advanced Placement Course in sight.

                                         Which leads me to a few options of my own.  I will start with some suggestions that came from my beloved Monsieur, and then some of my own.  See what you think, and feel free to let me know, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           l. Doing More Writing--Well, the blog is ongoing. as you know.  I
                                              started three chapters of a book, earlier this Summer, but when I
                                              read it over, was not satisfied with the results.  It was an assessment
                                              of my life in terms of the movies and shows that had the most
                                              influence on me, and in the style of this blog, but where here things
                                              come out fun and bitchy, as they should, there they came out
                                              bitter and ranting. Which is not what I want, and not what I
                                              intended. What should I do?

                                        2.   Acting Classes--Well, yeah, but who, how, where and when?
                                              With my schedule finding one is a challenge, let alone finding
                                               someone I feel comfortable enough studying with.  I have
                                               always wanted to study with Austin Pendelton, and probably
                                               should, as neither of us is getting any younger, but, like, how?

                                          3.   Singing Lessons--Well, not so much lessons, darlings, as working
                                                 on my voice.  It is still there.  Remember when I talked on here
                                                 (at least on here) about doing an act (my dream would be at
                                                  the Duplex called "Getting In Touch With My Inner Barbra,"
                                                  where I do the lesser Streisand classics--"I'm All Smiles,"
                                                   "She Touched Me," and "What Did I Have?"  That idea still
                                                   percolates in my brain, like my Maxwell House Coffee each
                                                   morning.  Again, who and how do I find the right person for
                                                   this.  Hey, Joel Derfner, remember me?  Are you reading this?

                                        Then there are some things I have come up with, from the wacky to the outrageous.  Each have their pros and cons.

                                          1. Reading "Gravity's Rainbow"--Definitely a challenge, only I
                                           am not in the mood for a Pynchon epic right now.

                                           2. Take An Introductory Biology or Physics Course--For
                                            what?  Because I have never done it before?  To fulfill
                                             unfulfilled science desires?  Maybe, but since my math
                                             skills have not been used in forty years, that leads to
                                              the next option.

                                           3. Take an Elementary Algebra rehash to prepare for the
                                                higher stuff, so I can work up to Calculus.  Same argument
                                                as in the last option, but also, where can I take such courses?
                                                And as cheaply as possible; I am not going for any degrees.
                                                Do any high schools allow adults to take courses?  Mine did,
                                                for awhile, but that was years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             4. Study either Greek or Latin-- I am classical and linguistic by
                                                 nature, so this would seem a better fit.  And I always had a
                                                 twinge of regret not doing so in college.  I am leaning towards
                                                 Greek, because the idea of having to learn a whole new
                                                  alphabet sounds challenging.  But again, where can I do this
                                                  as cost effectively as possible?????????

                                              5.  Google on here AP English, and pick a syllabus, and read
                                                    that, giving yourself a deadline for each book.  Not bad,
                                                    however one disadvantage to being well read is that, when
                                                    I look over these lists, I find I have read most of  the books
                                                    already. Many more than once.

                                      Then there is the Final Option.

                                               6.   Go on a reading binge torture my eyes by accelerating
                                                      my speed, and read everything I haven't that is in the
                                                      house, which would include such things as "War And
                                                      Peace" and :"Infinite Jest."  But over speeding could
                                                      result in a new pair of glasses, and, as I just got these
                                                      last year, I am not ready to shell out megabucks.  Not
                                                      to mention, the speed would get me through, but how
                                                      much narrative impact would I derive?????????

                                       There you have it, girls!  You tell me!  And, no I am not interested in handcrafts
or gourmet cooking.  When do I have the time?

                                        Remember that line from "Up The Down Staircase," by Bel Kaufman?????  "Let it be a challenge to you." It was actually code for "You're stuck with it."  So, I am leaving this list for you to
ponder, girls, and let it be a challenge to you, to tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          After all, you are stuck with me, anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         

                                         

No One Says An EEG Has To Be Fun, Darlings!!!!!!!! But Geez......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I thought it would be a piece of cake, girls.  After having undergone the MRI two weeks before, all I had left was the EEG, which I thought would be a snap.  I mean, I have been EKG'ed more times than I can count, and how could it be any worse than that?????????

                                 And, truthfully, it should not have!  But, after my experience yesterday, I am not going back to this place for one, and I want all my girls to know what to avoid.

                                  The address given on my form--1000 10th Avenue, Fourth Floor, I initially thought was going to be all the way down by the river, as I made my way from Eighth to Ninth Avenue, and beyond.  I was amazed when the address turned out to be the address of St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital, an institution I have always held in high esteem.  Until now.

                                    I was directed to the fourth floor, where the Neurology Department was, and where the EEG tests are given.  Fine.  The trouble started when I knocked on the door.  At first, no one answered,
then the door was opened by this surly, irate Med Tech named Vic, who clearly did not want to deal with me, or anyone.  Added to which he was the only one there--no one else, no receptionist, nothing.  My
test was scheduled for 9am, and it was now 9:08.  I did not mind the wait, but with no one there to take my basic info??????????   What gives????????????

                                    Shortly, this snooty woman named Candace, who looks like she has been gorging on too much fast food fried chicken, if you get my drift, darlings, grills me, because it seems I am not in the appointment book.  Charmer Vic asks if I talked to Candace when I mead the appointment.  I lied, telling him I was not sure, although what I was sure of was I did NOT talk to Candace, because the voice I spoke to when making my appointment, was, frankly, younger!!!!!!!!!!! (They claimed this turned out to be a temp they had working, who was incompetent, but, you know, I wonder!!!!!!!)  I should have said that to that bitch!!!!!!!!!
Instead, I haughtily tossed out the name and phone number of my neurologist, and it was evidently a name they knew because it got results.  They got on the phone, where they received confirmation I was to be there
for that very procedure.  I filled out the necessary paperwork, they made a copy of my insurance card, and then I waited.

                                   The wait was not a long one, by any means.  What I want to complain about is the attitude of the three Med Techs working there.  Victor and Candace, especially, seemed to keep up a running line about leaving there for Methodist in Brooklyn, where they feel people in their positions are treated better, paid more, and are given perks, like tickets to Broadway shows!!!!!!!!!!!  Which does not make a patient about to be tested feel secure if the ones giving the test have their minds on other things beside their jobs.

                                   The one giving me the test--I think she said her name was Jamie--shared in the conversation too, but she was nicer, and when the time came to get down to business, she did.  But it was made clear to me she agreed with her colleagues' job dissatisfaction, and that leaving there would be her ticket!!!!!!!!!!  Great!!!!!!!!!!!!  Meanwhile, a baby, or toddler, came in for the same test, and Victor, having been assigned the tyke, began to bitch about its crying, whether to sedate it, or distract it with cartoons.  The baby kept up a running cry throughout, and,while I ordinarily would be annoyed, I was cheering like hell for this kid.  Annoy the hell out of this Victor guy, I wanted to say!  I hope you bite him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Meanwhile, like I said, Jamie was nice, but it took her longer to put the electrodes on my head, than the test itself!!!!!!!!!!!  What is that all about???????   She told me what was going to happen, but did not really explain anything, clearly underestimating my intelligence, which was probably far superior to hers, anyway.  Or, at least, my bedside manner would have been.  When the light show started--where my eyes are closed, and they flash these lights right in my face, to see how my brain responds, at one point I was so angered, I wanted to rip the electrodes off, and just storm out of there.  What stopped me was the thought of having to come back here again!  That I am never going to do, and when I see Dr. Ramon Valderama next week, I am going to tell him.  Or, at least, if Roosevelt is my only option, this crew had better have been sent on their way.

                                    There were two things I wanted to say to this bunch.  First, they needed a course in Patient Advocacy, because they did everything possible to make me feel UN-comfortable.  And, second, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, meaning if you don't like your job, do something about it, but, most of all do NOT bitch about it in front of patients you are about to conduct medical tests on.

                                      I hope someone at St. Lukes Roosevelt reads this, and I hope that Candace, Jamie and Vic are booted out of there ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        I should have conducted the damn test myself, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







then

Nice Threads, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Like clockwork, darlings, when it reaches 10PM in our house on Sunday night, that means "On The Case With Paula Zahn."  Last night's story took place in Grand Forks, North Dakota, where, on November 22, 2003, a young girl named Dru Sjodin was abducted from the Columbia Mall parking lot in Grand Forks, after working a shift at Victoria Secret. She was pounced upon by Alfonso Rodriguez, Jr., a 50-year-old itinerant, and, it turns out, of course, sex offender, who kidnapped, raped and murdered poor Dru.  Fortunately, he is behind bars!!!!!!!!!!!  Where he should remain, for good!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Of course, Paula chronicled everything, with her usual, professionally crisp earnestness.  But, that was not the highlight of the evening. The highlight was the red dress she wore at the start of the program, which demonstrates that Paula, or, at least, someone on her staff, or ID's, is listening to me, because she looked fabulous last night, instead of the crepe hanger, she usually is.  Now, Paula, I am not telling you to abandon basic black, for good.  In fact, I have an idea.  When Halloween time rolls around, the Sunday nearest to it, (which would be October 27!!!!!!!!) why not do a murder story, related to Halloween?????  They are out there; don't let anyone kid you!  It didn't just start with John Carpenter!!!!!!!!
On that night, Paula, you could wear a basic black, with an orange scarf!!!!!!!!!!!  I would skip the witch's hat; that would be pushing things, and you do not want to lose credibility.

                                           But Paula looked just smashing last night, darlings!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait till next week!  I look as forward to what she will be wearing as the case she will be covering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Fashion rules, Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\

They Damn Well Better Dim The Broadway Lights For Julie Harris One Night This Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Girls, imagine my upset, yesterday morning, to find out that actress Julie Harris had passed away, at the age of 87!!!!!!!!!!  I am telling you, it is the end of an era.  Aide from the Divine Lois Smith, who appeared, like Julie, in the 1955 Elia Kazan version of "East Of Eden," which made James Dean a star, who of this calibre is around anymore????????  My great regret is I never got to see Julie on stage.  Not that I had plenty of opportunities; I just felt I would get around to it, sometime, because, until illness overtook her, Julie was one actress who always worked.

                                          True, I have seen her on film--"The Member Of The Wedding," "East Of Eden,"
and my favorite of all, Robert Wise's 1963 film version of Shirley Jackson's novel, "The Haunting Of Hill House," simply retitled "The Haunting."

                                            Too bad Shirley had not written "We Have Always Lived In The Castle" years sooner.  On the basis of their work in "The Haunting." Julie and Claire would have been perfect as the Blackwood Sisters--Julie as Merricat, Claire as Constance.

                                              It is the end of a theatrical era, darlings!!!!!!!!  I just hope TCM, or even the Film Forum, run a couple of Julie's more memorable films, so those too young can get idea of how brilliant she actually was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              And how many of you, out there, know that, before Jill Haworth or Liza Minnelli, Julie was actually the very first actress to portray Sally Bowles?  She did it both on stage and screen in "Cabaret's" non-musical source, the John Van Druten play, "I Am A Camera."  And there are many who, to this day, say that Julie remains the greatest of Sallys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                So, Broadway had better damn well dim its lights one night this week, in honor of  Julie!  Because I want to be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Julie Harris will never be forgotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


a

This Is Absolutely Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I suppose, when one begins thinking of "Mary Poppins," can thoughts of "The Sound Of Music" be far behind?  They both catapulted Julie Andrews to stardom and iconic status--a status still held today, you better believe it!!!!!!!!--and in two more years, that film will reach the half century mark.

                              I have to hand it to whomever (one or more?) put this together.  That is, a series of clips from "The Sound Of Music"--I guarantee you will know them all, darlings!!!!!!--with some unrecognizable, though aptly eerie music, resulting in a film trailer that markets this movie as though it were a horror film!!!!!!!!!  I am telling you, it works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The shot of those nuns, in this context, is absolutely frightening.

                               Strangely for those of us who have loved the film for lo these many years, this presentation, in no way, disrespects it.  Rather, when you see the clips, you come away with how impressive the film's imagery is, and how Robert Wise used it to the material's advantage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 But kudos to its creators!!!!!!!!!!!  Simply brilliant, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This You Have Just GOT To See, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Hard to believe, girls, that, next year Disney's celebrated film version of "Mary Poppins"--the gold standard when it comes to that story, and Julie Andrews' performance of that character--will turn fifty years old.  Although the song "Chim-Chim-Chimney" won the Oscar for Best Song that year,
as far as I am concerned, having seen the film as an adult about, maybe, twenty years ago, (and I feel due for a viewing again!!!!!!!) the best of the evergreen Sherman Brothers score was the haunting song, "Feed The Birds."

                                         Not only is it the movie's best song, it is also its emotional and moral center.  This film would be simply ordinary and flashy without it; the moment in the film when Julie sings it to the Banks children, (Karen Dotrice, daughter of Roy, and the late, sadly early departed Matthew Garber) lifts it to a level of art.  It also reveals, subtly, something it has taken me this long to realize, for all the adulation I showered on this film, as a child.

                                         "Mary Poppins" is not just about Mary and the Banks children. It is about Mr.
Banks, which is why, next to Julie, David Tomlinson's performance  is the most brilliant in the picture, and so deserving of

an Oscar nomination he, unfortunately, did not get.

                                            Of course, you should believe me, dolls!  But, if you want to see  what I mean for yourselves, take a look at this selection of clips from the film.  They start with Julie and the snow globe
of St. Paul's Cathedral, leading into the song, and following the character of Mr. Banks, with the instrumental music to this song, on the soundtrack.

                                           I cried real tears, darlings, just watching it.  Not to mention Jane Darwell (Oscar winner for Ma Joad; twenty five years past Mrs. Merriwether in "Gone With The Wind,"-- in her last movie role--and what a great note to go out on!!!!!!!!!!)

                                            So, take a look, loves, and see some REAL film artistry.

                                            Incidentally, when I visited London, back in 2006, I ended up seeing the stage version of "Mary Poppins" over there.  Mainly because I could not get tickets to "Billy Elliot."  The stage version hardly matched the magic of the movie, and while "Feed The Birds" was done on stage, it did not have the powerful impact the movie gave it.

                                             Next morning, I went to the steps of St. Paul's, fully expecting to see the Bird Woman; if not Jane Darwell, then some facsimile thereof.  Alas, there was no one there.

                                              This movie moment stands triumphant and alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad News About Linda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         When I was in college, undergraduate years, the dorm room of every straight boy, had, on a wall, one of two posters.  The first was the famous Farrah Poster (no explanation needed to my girls on here!!!!!!!!!) and the second this picture of Linda Ronstadt.  Even I could understand why, at the time!!!!!!!!  Linda even came and gave a concert at my college--Seton Hall University, during, I think, my freshman year.  That I did not go is one of those things I regret.

                                            But I followed Linda, to an extent.  I loved, and still do, her renditions of "Different Drummer," and "Long, Long Time."  The way she throws her voice on the latter makes it definitive.  I even loved Linda on Broadway in "The Pirates Of Penzance," though she came in for a lot of criticism there.  No one ever said she was going to upstage any Broadway icons, but she acquitted herself, well enough.  And when she reinvented herself, with that classic album of standards, "What's New.?" I realized Linda was going to be around for awhile; that she was not content with being a once sexy rocker who would just fade into obscurity.

                                            Just recently, while dining, Monsieur and I were discussing Linda, because it seems, of late, like she had disappeared.  Now comes the distressing news why--she has Parkinson's disease, and it has taken away her singing voice.  Not that she did not leave behind enough of a legacy. But, while still in her Sixties, there was no reason, had this not developed, that Linda could not have continued.

                                             The Raving Queen and readers wish Linda the best, especially in the time ahead.  I know, having seen for myself, what Parkinson's can do.  I hope she does not suffer.

                                               But, rest assured, Linda, we wish you well, and will love you for a "long, long time!!!!!!!!!"

Heaven Help Us!!!!!!!!!! Is Lickey Lickey Trying To Make A Comeback To Bay Ridge, Darlings???????????

                                   Several months ago, there was a big media outcry, including on this blog, of the proliferation of sexual massage parlors passing as spas in Bay Ridge.  Then, suddenly, it seemed, they were gone, and good riddance to rubbish such as that!

                                     But now, I fear, they are trying to squeeze back in.

                                     What a day I had, girls!!!!!!!!! My day off, and I had to high tail it into the city, where I sat for over an hour (because the very organized nurse, Janice!!!!!!!!!) was out for the day in my doctor's office, and I had to wait ninety minutes, just to get a prescription renewal.  Fortunately, I was out of the office by 1PM, went and refilled at my pharmacy, and got on the train heading home to Bay Ridge by 1:30, and was back in the nabe before 2:30.  Not bad timing!

                                         I got off at 86th Street, and walked over to Third Avenue, as I had some errands to do in the uptown section, like getting a birthday gift and card for Miss Ruby (whose birthday is actually today, but whose party we are going to, tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!), and then stopping at the Little Bakery Cake
Shop, just blocks away, for some cake and coffee.  I was craving a slice of their Hummingbird Cake, which is luscious. but it was not there, so I opted to try something different, which I have not had in awhile--their German Chocolate cake!  With a cup of coffee, it was heavenly!!!!!!!!!!  I felt so good, but I needed to get home, and rest.

                                        The bus stop was right across the street from the cake shop, but, what with the waiting time, I could walk home before a bus might come, so walk home I did. On the way, I stopped at the
Bookmarks Bookstore, to see if I could pick up the new Marisha Pessl; no such luck, there. On I continued, and, when I was on Third and 90th, I noticed a certain spa, whose entry door had a frosted panel, so you could not see inside, and all the windows were covered with provocative posters, again so no one could see
inside.

                                          This could only mean ONE thing!  Lickey Lickey is trying to come back, and I want the Community Organizers in Bay Ridge, not to mention members of the 68th precinct, to get in there and tie a can around every broad's tail working in there!  And while you are at it, pick up and haul in the REAL Mastermind of the operation--Madame Sin, better known as Despina Poulakakis!!!!!!!! I guess all that withdrawal from kitty litter is having its side effects, compelling her to start up Lickey Lickey again!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Well, not in the neighborhood Monsieur and I are proud to call home!  That trash was gotten rid of once, and it can be gotten rid of again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Including those nighttime Asian Garbage Grannies, who morph into spa workers during the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Now, that would be the REAL happy ending, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















Shop,

Trying To Jump Start That Career, Again, Huh, Vanessa??????????????

                                            You have to hand it to Vanessa Redgrave, darlings.  The sole survivor of a once thriving British acting dynasty, and having, especially, lost her daughter, Natasha, she still gets out there, and plies her craft. Now, I could be shot for saying this, and I don't care, but I do not fall to my knees, at the mention of her name, nor do I consider her, as some do, the world's greatest living actress.  I reserve that distinction for Meryl Streep!

                                             Lately, though, Vanessa has become something of a professional crepe hanger!  I mean, Joan Didion in "The Year Of Magical Thinking?"  At least with the book, one could put it down, go to the fridge, have a drink, then come back. Same if you read Sylvia Plath. However,      with two hours of Vanessa/Joan staring you in the face. you are a captive audience to misery and depression. It is enough to make one walk out and slit one's wrists.  It has gotten to be, for awhile, now, that when producers need someone to play a dying hag, it's "Call Vanessa Redgrave!"

                                               Well, now it seems she wants to reinvent herself away from that. Which is fine, but why does she have to drag poor James Earl Jones along with her??????????  He can do just fine, on his own, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   First, the two of them played "Driving Miss Daisy."  This was sheer, egotistical nerve, walking into two iconic roles immortalized (and still recalled by many) by Dana Ivey and Morgan Freeman.  It did wonders for both those actors' careers!!!!!!!!!

                                                      But now, from London, comes word that James and Vanessa are going to be playing--are you ready???--Beatrice and Benedick in Shakespeare's classic comedy, "Much Ado About Nothing!!!!!!!!!!"  Not only that, they are going to be them as the age they--the actors--are now!!!!!!!!!   Which means you will be getting a considerably post-menopausal Beatrice, and a gassed out Benedick, who, in this production, is going to need Viagra, or whatever ingot was around in Shakespeare's time!!!!!!!!!!  Not that love cannot bloom among the geriatric-who remembers "Cocoon," darlings?????--but isn't this pushing it a bit?  Whom does Vanessa think she is going to play next, Juliet?????????  And if so, who would play the Nurse--Natalie Portman???????????

                                                         Shakespeare has been tampered with enough, from reinterpretations to re- stagings in different time periods. But Vanessa is taking it to a whole new level!!!!!!!!!!!!  I get that she is desperate to reinvent her career, and keep going, but why does James Earl Jones have to go along with it?????????????????

                                                          But who am I to talk?  The way things are going, the damn thing will come to Broadway, redesigned as an aerial spectacular by Diane Paulus, with the two of them belting out "Total Eclipse Of The Heart!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                           Hang your head in SHAME, Vanessa!!!!!!!!!!  What would those having gone before you say right now??????????????????????