"Hats, Gloves, And Effete Homosexuals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gasp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                I know what all my girls really want to know, and that is about the recent airing of "Feud--Capote Vs. The Swans." Titled "Hats, Gloves, And Effete Homosexuals," episode six in this series offered up what I thought was a cornucopia of camp, and I should know.

                              First, for the unimitated, not all homosexuals are effete.   And, judging by this episode, if not effete, then they are closet cases, which I suppose is what Capote was drawn to.  But that, girls, is playing a very dangerous game.  As for effete homosexuals, I can tell you a few things.  I mean, no one is ever going to call me butch, but at least I know my priorities.  I know this episode was to try to make Capote's self-destruction sympathetic, and the decline of old New York pathetic--which it was.  But an author who cannot grasp, even though drink, that his best days are over, that "In Cold Blood" was destined to be his masterpiece, and the book he keeps talking of in between drinks never really materialized is a bit over emphasized.  OK, we know, but does it have to be ground in?????????????  As for old New York, it is pathetic that it does not exist, because what is left is so wretchedly declassee; good thing the internet lets us see into these new places to decide whether or not to go. Oh, bring back the days of La Cote Basque!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Still, all the acting was superb, but oh my God, when is Calista Flockhart going to stop making Lee Radziwill into a scowling sourpuss?  I mean this was LEE, a princess, for God's sake!  The prettier and classier of the Bouvier sisters.  And her constant funeral wardrobe is annoying.

                                But the real laugh of the evening was Vito Schnabel as Rick.  First, what a name!  Does he expect to get anywhere with that?  Rick is some guy who shows up to fix Capote's plumbing, and who Capote blithely askes, "Oh, by the way, would you be interested in having your cock sucked?" And the fool turns around and says yes.  Am I to believe this?  Like, every hot guy doesn't care who sucks him?  Has Robbie Baitz been outside lately in the world?  I had to laugh because this guy reminded me of one from work and the gym.  He was what I called "The Body."  From the neck down, his body was gasp-for-breath scenery.  From the neck up--not so much.  He was an aspiring actor, which I discovered when he approached me with questions about play scripts.  I could see how the skin on his face was just horrible.  Maybe if one was blindfolded......   But then, on Tuesday and Thursdays, which were all men's nights at the gym I then attended, he would walk about the place, making sure everyone stated at him.  I had to wonder, how and when did he work to keep that fabulous body?  Because it was!   Now, even if not gay, the notion that this or every hot guy wants their cock sucked is ludicrous.  This episodic segment said more about Ryan Murphy and Robbie Baitz, and their fantasies, than historical accuracy.  Yes, Capote was drawn to straight acting, often closeted men, but the notion of him getting every single one is ridiculous. And I can tell you, from the farewell scene between he and Rick what Rick's future is.  Back to Illinois, his fiancé, disillusionment, and before one knows it, he is ending his days at the most derelict gay bar in town, drinking himself into oblivion, because he cannot see the truth of his own sexuality.  Good riddance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The show is getting tiresome.  Not enough of the Swans in this one.  I did love when Capote called Rick's fiancé "department store trash," for working such a mundane job in as mundane a place as Illinois.  His idea was right, but his accuracy was off.  The real trash are those who work in America's strip malls.  And you know where most of them are?   New Jersey and Florida!!!!!!!!!!!  Believe me, I know.

                                    I also know this episode was more some kind of quasi porn fantasy of Baitz and Murphy.  Let us return to the Swans, and focus more on Capote, and his tragic decline, which was a real tragedy to those of us who love literature.

                                     But accurate homosexual behavior???????????  Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!