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Girls, I have just got to tell you about the two simply FABULOUS episodes I saw back to back last evening, on the "Law And Order:Criminal Intent" Marathon. As MY girls know, I am a big admirer of 'SVU', but will watch other forms, save LA, and have enjoyed them. This includes 'Criminal Intent.' Last night I settled in simply to be entertained, and found myself transported!!!!!!!!! Because these two episodes were so good they belonged on 'SVU!'.
And yes, Vincent D'Onofrio was on, and while he is cute in his porker sort of way, he gets Heavier and HEAVIER with each episode!!!!!!!!! I swear, one night he will just explode on network television!!!!!!!!!
But back to matters at hand. The first episode, aptly named, "Family Values," managed to skewer all sorts of issues--heterosexual corporate America, the suburbs, lesbians, drama, incest....honey, this episode took on so many issues, that it was easy to overlook what the true nature of the situation was.
Things began at an ersatz drama school production of "Cyrano De Bergerac." A husband and wife are presumably centering on the actress playing Roxanne, whom we come to realize is their daughter. The father, played by the always handsome and always excellent David Harbour in a performance that is about to blow you away and become a career highlight for him, is caught, via camera, gazing on her nubile breasts, indicating he is struggling with incestuous feelings towards her. Sicko!!!!
He excuses himself and next he is seen in front of his in-laws house, praying for salvation. He goes inside, and bludgeons Millie, his sister-in-law with a hammer; he repeats the act when the husband comes home. The dying man's last message heard is Harbour saying "I can't do anything more for you."
Bobby and Alexandra are going over everything. Of course, unlike we the viewer, they do not know who the killer is; what we do not know is why. This becomes apparent, but not before a few more murders. One involves that of daughter Kathy's drama teacher, who was teaching at a Christina Conservative high school, where dramatic material is censured. Is there something wrong wtih this??? You better believe it, because in real life a lesbian would never teach drama; that would fall on the lone gay male teacher. The lesbian would be teaching auto mechanics!!!!!!!!!!!!
The murderer and his wife come to the hospital to identify the in-laws; the wife is his wife's sister. Suspicion points to him immediately, with his cold eyes, and his imperious manner, not to mention when daughter Kathy the next day witnesses her father telling the cops what she knows is a lie!!!!!!!!!!
Next, we see this guy, whose name, interestingly, is Paul Devildis (Devil and Evil, get it???????) making a home made pipe bomb!!!!!!!!!!!! It gets delivered to the supervisor of a bank and EXPLODES!!!!!!!!!!!!! We learn Paul had been fired awhile back; he was switched from managment to loans, and when that tanked, he became the scapegoat.
OK, it makes sense he would want to off the place that fired him; hell, I am in full accordance with that, myself!!!!!!!! Not that I would do it, but I do sympathize!!!!! Before we know it, in between Christian praying scenes, Paul is killing his wife, the family dog, and planning the same for his mother and daughter. What begins to become clear is that Paul, his life having tanked and gone out of his control, wants to kill himself, but in the process wants to take everyone with him. He spirits daughter Kathy away to their summer retreat; she escapes, he chases, kidnaps and imprisons her. It is up to Goren to figure all this out, they do, and Kathy is rescued.
Now, I have to confess, I was pissed. If anyone deserved to die it was Devildis, and I wanted the pleasure of seeing this guy blow his brains out on TV!!!!!!!! I have enough problems with suicide, but if a person decides that is what they truly want, so be it. But to take others down with them????? Oh, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In this respect, I think the writers copped out. But Paul Devildis has to be one of the sickest ever. Mr. Straight Corporate Honcho, with incestuous desires on his daughter, and a death wish for everyone just because he is tanking!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to see this bastard get what he deserved, and in that sense we did not see it, so I was not satisfied!!!!!!!!!!!
Prosecute, and lose the key, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As if this were not enough, what followed was "Lady's Man," benefiting from a wonderful performance from guest star Raul Esparaza. In this one, a man is murdered on Atlantic Beach while taking what turns out to be his annual birthday swim. Several years back, he was acquitted of murdering his wife, whose body was never found, and now he has a Reality Show on TV. Only in America, darlings!!!!!!!!
He comes out of the water, sees a well dressed redheaded woman, who shoots him at point blank range!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, Goren and Alexandra can make nothing of it. What comes out is that the killer is taking steps to set up Alexandra to be, if not the perp, then in cahooots with her.
Who should show up but a figure from Alexandra's past--Kevin Mulrooney. He was the DA on the original murder trial ten years before; he screwed it up, his career tanked and Alexandra's flourished. They also had sort of a romantic history.
Well, it seems Mulrooney never let go of his feelings, and it looks like he is the one setting her up!!!!! But because of his Oedipal relation with his repressed Irish mother, he dresses up like a woman whenever he needs to feel in control. He basically does a Norman Bates, and they lock this one up!!!!!!!! And at least that is made clear!!!!!!!!!!! In the one before it, as I said, the fate of Paul Devildis is left hanging. Blow his brains out!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, girls, it was fascinating seeing male pathology on display. Not all psychos are women, you know!!!!!!!!!! Devildis' handsomeness was undermined by his sick, tormented desires for his daughter, and his cowardice at not being able to die unless everyone else did. While Mulrooney struggled with never getting his makeup right (as Alexandra says) and knowing his designers, which proves he is not even successful as a transitional cross dresser. He should have killed himself too!!!!!!!!!!
I can't recall when I had a fuller evening, darlings!!!!!!!!!!! Make sure you notice the stocking inseam of the person on the subway next to you!!!!!!!
Dressed to kill, loves!!!!!!!!!
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