"On This Day, In The Year Of Our Lord, 1692, The People Of Whitewood, Massachusetts, Condemned Elizabeth Selwyn As A Witch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               "Most God-fearing people do not go to Whitewood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                Nor should they, darlings, because a year after her death, Elizabeth Selwyn was seen walking among the graves in the cemetery.  Soon after, the children of the elders who condemned her began dying off, one by one.

                                  Personally, I would love to go to Whitewood, even if I ran into Mrs. Nywles.  I stand a chance, not being a virgin.  But if it is one thing I hate, it is cults, and Selwyn and her group are one of the most dangerous cults out there.  So, I would not desire being recruited.

                                     I mean, what could it give me?  That hair?  That wardrobe?  Who would want it?????  Maybe Elizabeth Selwyn turned to witchcraft because she could not get a date!  People have done less, I am sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Still, it is fun to celebrate this day.  But if there are any virgins still out there, stay away from Whitewood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Where does one find a virgin these days???????????????