Girls, Can You Believe I Was NOT Invited????????????

                        The Raving Queen is miffed, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Last night--and the weather cooperated--  was SUPPOSED to be the opening night of the Delacorte's Summer presentation of "Into The Woods."  You know, with Amy Adams!!!!!  Well, the word on the street was that it  was pulled back because more technical time was needed, so last night turned out to be the Invited Dress Rehearsal. Now, you and I both know that MERYL was there.   Not only to cheer her chicklets on, but to give all of them, Amy especially, some pointed pointers!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             So, where was I?????????  Because, of course, I should have been there!!!!!
But someone--some inept press agent or such--neglected to invite me, and, girls, let me just say that I am more than peeved!!!!!!!!   For this they should just roll me in any night I choose.  Or maybe they are afraid.  Because, with the cast they have and the reputation of this show, this particular production has much to live up to!!!!!!!!! And if it doesn't--or if yours truly should think it does not--then lots of people are screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                The fact is, I have high hopes for this presentation.  Next to "A Little Night Music," "Into The Woods" is one of the most perfect shows to stage in an outdoor setting.  It has a dream cast.  It has a luscious score.  Because of what it deals with--fairy tales--the set and costume designers are bound to have a field day!!!!!!!!!!  Plus, the last Broadway revival, the one with Phylicia Rashad, did not match the original--as if anything could-but from the sounds of it, it seems they are trying to go for that with this production.

                                 But was I invited?????????  No!!!!!!!!!!  Hey, Meryl, can we have lunch, so we can discuss how the performance went????   What needs to be tweaked, what needs to be enhanced????????  Call me right away, hon, because you know my calendar fills up pretty quickly.

                                   And it just so happened I was  free last night, at home watching "Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets."  I could have taken time out for THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!  Remember the Chiffon margarine commercial, where "It's not nice to fool Mother Nature?"   The same goes for The Raving Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Did Milky White know his cues?????????????????????

Keeping Your Head About You, When Others Are Losing Theirs!!!!!!!!!!

                              As usual, darlings, it was a whirlwind weekend!  But, of course, being the Raving Queen, when is that not the case.

                              Things started off on Friday eve, with a Third Avenue Stroll, a sort of impromptu weekly street fete in Bay Ridge, where pedestrians can walk from about 81st to 101st Streets in the street, restaurants are going full throttle, and stands and performers were out , though not with the abundance I would have expected, due to the overcast skies and rather drizzly, cool weather.

                                Nevertheless, we met up with Monsieur's glamorous friend, Ellen, whose stunning white sweater/blouse was complimented by the equally dazzling necklace of aqua blue beads around her neck.  All of which heightened her flawless, Jennifer Jones like complexion and shining ebony hair. Darlings, Ellen was the object of envy of many on the street that night, including the Marilyn Monroe drag artist!!!!!!!  That's right, girls!!!!!!!!!  You heard me!!!!!!!!  Bay Ridge has come a long way, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  We ended up at Giacomo's, where we had the tastiest meal.  The calamari was luscious, as was the salad.   My tagliatelle bolognese, especially when washed down with some red wine, did the trick for me, darlings, while Ellen and Monsieur's Chicken Parmesan (which I sampled) was filling and flavorful.  Things were really hopping that night, so I forgave the service for not being quite at the Anna Wintour level my Anna Wintour standards expect!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Saturday was a shopping spree, with our friend Judy, and Monsieur's cousin, Jodie, from Connecticut.  We dined at Hinsch's, where I just had to have one of their fabulous ice cream sodas (chocolate, of course!!!) which always makes me feel like Lana Turner being discover at Schwab's!!!!!!!!!

                                       From there, we trotted over to Century 21, where Monsieur and Jodie picked up some items.  Walking back to the apartment, we stopped at a Greek store, where Jodie got some feta cheese, then home to air conditioning and drinks.  Once our guests left, Monsieur and I ordered in from Mister Tang, and it was fabulous!!!!!!!!  Lambs, I was so tired, I couldn't stay awake, not even for Investigation Discovery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Sunday was something else.  I went to Mass, where that woman who looks like Jennifer Jones was handing out church bulletins.  Wouldn't it be something if her name was Jennifer, or Bernadette?????   We were supposed to have theater plans that afternoon, but by the time Monsieur and I noshed down at Chock Full O' Nuts, we had no idea what we were doing, or if!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             So, we get back home.  I had just settled down for a relaxing broadcast of "Motives And Murders," when at 1:50--1:50, mind you!!!!!-Monsieur's friend, Larry (whose birthday today was) called, announcing he had tickets to "One Man, Two Guv'nors," and to meet him and Steve  in front of the Music Box Theater.

                                               What could we do, girls?????????  May God forgive me!!!!!!
I didn't even have time to run a comb through my hair, let alone apply a fresh blush or foundation!!!!!!  We left the apartment, dressed as we were--in colored Tshirts, shorts and sandals!!!!!!!  Me!!!!!!!!!!  Going to the theater like this!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, may God forgive me!!!!!!!!!

                                                I was sure we would not make it, because it was about 2:15 when the Manhattan bound R pulled in. And we had to go all the way from 77th Street--to West  49th and the Theater District in Manhattan!!!!!!!!  But, thanks to the practicality of Monsieur (thank God one of us is more practical than the other!!!!!!!!!!) we got on an express N train , and, thanks to the stops it skipped, we actually made it to the theater literally just in time  for the performance!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Dressed, as I was, in an air conditioned Broadway theater (the Music Box!!!!!!!) it was freezing!!!!!!!!! Now, what about the show???????  I have to admit it was not on my theatrical radar, and I would never have picked this show.  It is based on "The Servant And Two Masters" by Carlo Goldoni, with a little bit of Oscar Wilde and 'Earnest' thrown in, so no wonder it all seemed familiar.  What it actually is is a Benny Hill (that is the level of humor, darlings!!!!!!) dragged out to two and one half hours!!!!!!!!  Not the worst thing I have seen, but far from the best!!!!!!!!  And not highly sophisticated!!!!!!!!!!!  Where was my coconut dacquoise and champagne?????????

                                                    The actors were skilled, and its lead actor, James Corden, won the TONY Award for Best Actor, beating out Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Death Of A Salesman."  I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Corden is a skilled, talented trouper, whose work certainly is worthy of a nomination, but an award?????????  And the script was no "Noises Off," so all the stunts and pratfalls could not cover this up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       But, honey, talk about pigs in shit!!!!!!!!!  While Monsieur and I looked at each other, wondering what was so funny, everyone around us--especially the group behind us--were laughing their heads off, like they were at the greatest thing!!!!!!! Which they were not, I can tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          Just like what we experienced last summer with "The Book Of Mormon!"  Are audiences so hyped by hype that they believe anything they are told is good is??????????  Doesn't anyone make judgements for themselves, anymore??????? I have to wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             Darlings, my judgement says stay away from this one!!!!!!  And to think I could have watched Investigation Discovery all afternoon, and Monsieur could have read, or macramed, or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               And two and one half hours!!!!!!  Ninety minutes, and no Intermission, OK!!!!!!  Get us out of there!!!!!!!!!!!! Instead, we get tortured!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  But it was Larry's birthday, and we were happy for him, though I am not sure he enjoyed it that much!!!!!!!!!!!  Of ua all, I think Steve liked the show best, though he was not raving!!!!!!  At least our dinner---just us girls--at the Polish Tearoom (aka the Edison Hotel Coffee Shop!!!!!) was distinctly post-theatrical!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   We were exhausted by the time we got home!  Theater is supposed to stimulate, not anesthetize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                      Maybe they should broadcast this play to colonoscopy patients!!!!!!  It would certainly put them to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                     Here is hoping for better theatrical excursions,  darlings!!!!!!!!

This Is What Evil Looks Like, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Darlings, just in case you have not heard--but I am sure you have--let me introduce you to James Eagan Holmes. He, of course will be known from now on as the Batman Movie Massacrer, just as his shooting incident, the most heinous since Columbine, will be forever known as the Batman Movie Massacre.

                             Years ago, John Denver sang about a "Colorado Rocky Mountain High." Today, I have to wonder, what is it with out there???????

                                One can't blame Colorado, since Holmes did not come from there, but from San Diego, California.  But this incident raises so many questions, and it is time to voice them.

                                Before we get to the incident itself--

                                 What are parents doing bringing three month and six year old children to the midnight screenings of anything???????????

                                     If Mr. Homes' mother had the inkling that her son was responsible, which she did, why was help not obtained before???? Or was it?????????

                                       Which brings to question his upbringing, schooling, etc.  Anything there that might have been the impetus for this. Abuse?  Bullying?  Even if he is clinically a sociopath, the trigger has to come from someplace.

                                           The height of irony is that even convicted prisoners are calling for his death!  Not that they are innocent.   But even they have a kind of remorse and sorrow for the massacre victims that this shooter does not.

                                             Where and how did Mr. Holmes, pretty much your garden variety nebbish, learn the skills necessary to fire such weaponry???   I couldn't, even if I wanted to try!!! Which I do not!!!!!!!!!  And there was a shooting club that denied him membership, because they detected something unstable about his behavior. Good for you, guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  His defense team is going to have a hard to impossible task to establish his insanity, in the face of such organized, meticulous, calculated, and, yes, deliberate planning.  Is this rational behavior?  No!!!!!!!  But his methodical sense proved he understood fully what he was doing, and had an agenda!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    What the agenda should be is a psychological examination of Mr. Holmes, followed by a re-examination of the laws granting people accessibility to guns.  Screw the NRA and its right wing political clout!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Musical theater's Annie Oakley sang "You Can't Get A Man With A Gun!"  She was right. On the basis of this recent event, Not Every Man Should Have A Gun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                          Right, darlings????????????????????????????

Darlings, This Was A Dark Knight For All Of Us!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                    I ask you, girls, what is the world coming to??????  Here I am, trying to select my wardrobe, do my beauty regimen, and what do I hear on the news this morning, while getting ready for work,  but this massive shooting in Aurora, Colorado, at, of all places, a movie theater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Is this Columbine happening again??????????  Why Colorado??????????

                           It seems that, at the midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises," the latest Batman movie (the one where Anne Hathaway is playing the Catwoman!!!!!!!) viewers were treated to a barrage of bullets and tear gas explosions, that left at least 12 dead and maybe up to 50 wounded.  I heard one of the victims (though I am not sure if they are alive) was a three month old baby!!!!!!!!!  I also heard a two year old was shot at point blank range? ?????????

                             Let' get this out of the way first, dolls!!!!!!!!!! Who brings children of this age to a midnight screening???????????  I don't even do them anymore, at my advanced age!!!!!!!!!!

                                James Holmes, a 24-year-old man, who lives about five miles from the theater, was the shooter.  It seems he entered, with a bullet proof vest, gas mask, ammunition, and canisters. How did he get in?????????  Now, get this--when his mother, who lives in San Diego, heard of the incident, she knew it was him, and phoned the police, saying she had to fly to Colorado.  Now, if she knew what he was capable of, why didn't she warn Aurora authorities before? I am not saying the blood of those killed or injured is on her hands--she is not to blame--but I call it poor judgement, when you have a sense of the instability of someone you love, and you do not reach out and warn others!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   And just what is Holmes's story???????  Does he work??????? What is he doing in Aurora?????? What triggered this???????? Was it Batman??????? Because one thing is certain--he commenced firing at a precise spot, about twenty minutes into the filming, where gun shots could be heard on screen, so that the fictitious and real ones would blend together, which they did.  This indicates not only that he had seen the movie befoe, but that he had planned this!!!!!!!   Because viewers thought this was initially part of the show, right up to Holmes' Batman villain-like appearance. But when people began dropping, the others fled for their lives, knowing this was the REAL thing.

                                     I thought maybe Holmes would shoot himself afterward. But he did not, and police have him in custody, where he implies there are explosives in his apartment (great for his neighbors!!!!!!!) and which has compelled Aurora police to cord off the parking lot, for fear something is there!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Let me tell you, I had no intention of seeing this movie in the first place, but I will not now.  One wonders how this will effect the film's grosses--or will it?????  And, of course, my worst fear--not just of public places, which we subconsciously  push out of our minds each day, otherwise we would drive ourselves insane--but with what air travel has become, due to security checks, will something as innocuous as going to the movies now become such???????

                                          It all depends how this plays out!  But there is no doubt about it--ths is the Story Of The Summer, and will be, at year's end, one of the toppers of 2012!!!!!!!!!!

                                            See you at the movies, girls!!!!!!!!!!  Or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Speaking Of Restaurants, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I am telling you, darlings, this is the biggest end of an era in restaurants, since the passing of Elaine of "Elaine's."  Yesterday, Sylvia Woods, founder and owner of Harlem's famed eatery, "Sylvia's," passed away, at the age of 86, after battling Alzheimer's.  How tragic that one so gifted had to go that way.

                              Honey, you know I have the South in my soul, and I can tell you I have been to "Sylvia's." In fact, it was just several years ago, in the summer.  My friend Tom, I believe, and I went up there, and we dined on the famous corn bread, fried chicken, collard greens, and red velvet cake.  "Sylvia's" was groundbreaking for its time; it made Southern soul food fashionable before it actually became such, and, while many imitators came afterward, for many this was the gold standard.

                                 A visit to Harlem was never complete without stopping by Sylvia's.  Sundays are packed,  because all the church congregations jam in there after services.  And it was pretty routine to have Sylvia herself visit your table, and chat with you. This actually happened during my visit.  She was SO charming, and when I told her how much I LOVED red velvet cake, I swear she saw to it that I got a more than average sized slice.  She was a sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I hope, in the wake of her passing that "Sylvia's" continues. When Elaine passed on, so too did her establishment.  Another little piece of New York that brought some of us to the city gone.  Let us hope "Sylvia's" does not go this way.

                                   But, meantime, thank you, Sylvia, for all that you did!  You were a consummate hostess, and you put the food of the South on the map for all us Northerners with Southern cravings!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Rest In Peace, honeychile'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, The West Village Welcomes Graydon Back To The Nabe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          That Graydon Carter! I am telling, you, girls, he is something else!  You would think being editor of "Vanity Fair"--which, incidentally, Graydon, I have never gotten so much as a mention, a cover, or anything of mine published in it--would be enough.  But the journalistic entrepreneur now fancies himself a buddy restaurateur.  Several years back, he did a major makeover on the Waverly Inn on Bank Street, turning a quaint little eatery into a high end place, where Fran Lebowitz has her own table, and where I have not had time to go, what with all the restaurant hopping and apartment shopping I have been doing in Bay Ridge, not to mention trying to find the right tinted moisturizer, reading my latest Lauren Weisberger, while trying to get my hair's texture to match hers--I mean, it is a wonder I have time to sleep, so how can I visit the Waverly Inn????????

                         Graydon must certainly love the West Village, dolls, for, not far from the Waverly Inn is  the defunct (for years) Beatrice Inn, which is now going to get the Carter Makeover  Treatment.  Now, get this--Graydon--what a sweetheart, honeys!!!!!--says he wants to downscale this place, making it not so much a high end, celebrity oriented place, like the Waverly, but someplace where you don't have to wait months for a table (unless you are a person of prestige, like the Raving Queen; do you honestly think I would wait months to eat ANYWHERE????), and everyone in the neighborhood can just go and eat there.  And where the basic thing there will be steak and pommes frites?????!  Oh, Graydon, darling, you are reaching down to the common folk, aren't you????????

                          Well, not really. I mean, consider the neighborhood, the West Village, where renters can expect to shell out somewhere between $2500 to $3000 monthly, and  to own costs anywhere from a half to several millions of dollars. So, we are not talking about the masses here.
But, you know, girls, I will have to check it out!  And I will be sure to reprot back to you!  And, Graydon, dear, if I do not get royal treatment at either establilshment, you can expect to get less than royal treatment on here, and, as the former manager of the Paris Commune can tell you, you do not want that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           It makes me wonder what Graydon will do next???    Maybe spruce up the recently gone under Chelsea Gallery????  Or how about taking over Fedora, a West Village landmark (but not for its cuisine) for half a century, at least????????????

                             However, I have a much better idea!!!!!!!!  Hey, Graydon, can you bring back the Orignal Pink Tea Cup???????????????????

People Who Ride This Must Have Some Kind Of Death Wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Remember the brilliantly staged roller coaster sequence at the start of "Final Destination 3????"  This is the Skyrush in Hershey Park, in Hershey, Pennsylvania, and it pretty much looks like the one in that movie.  It is also said to be one of the longest roller coasters and that big drop you see, up towards the right, is a good 200 feet!!!!!!!!!!

                          I watched a running of this on video, and even that had me on edge. Yet, I have to wonder about those who go on this thing.  Not just kids, but adults, some as old as I. Sure, everyone yells and screams; that is part of the fun!!!!!!!!  But taking your arms off the bar, and waving them in the air during the most dangerous times--who are they kidding?  Not that something would happen..but it COULD!!!!!!!!!  In which case--off they go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            I honestly think people who behave like this on such amusements have some kind of death wish.  Or maybe they feel that by doing this they are defying it, like in the "Final Destination" movies.  I remember when Roller Coasters used to be straightforward--like the one in Wildwood, New Jersey,. or the Cyclone, at Coney Island, which for decades was the gold standard in thrills and excitement.

                               But not nearly as dangerous as the Skyrush, and others that are being built. Each one built seems to become more dangerous, as if people keep trying to push the envelope.  Better be careful, because, sooner or later, envelopes have a way of opening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 As for me, girls, I will just watch from the ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!